Posted:
Hey All
A short piece this time, something I wrote late last night after the episode. Its not well thought through, but I saw a glimpse of something in the episode yesterday and I wrote this.
The idea of this piece came from the Ghazal "Sarakti Jaaye Rukh se Naqaab Ahista Ahista"
specifically these lines:
Jawaan hone lage jab woh to hum se kar liya parda
Hayaa yaklakht aayi aur shabaab ahista ahista
***
Its been some time. I don't even remember the last time I felt like this. The last time I stared at a beautiful woman so brazenly. I guess I should be thankful for the privacy of my bedroom and the fact that my daughter was sleeping. If she was up, she would have surely asked me questions that I wasn't prepared to answer, at least not then.
I had tried sleeping during the restless night. It had taken me some time to go to sleep because my mind was still reeling from the adrenaline rush of what I had done to Ashok at the party. I was so angry and horrified by the cheap tactics he was using to win over me, that I didnt even realise that Adi was there. In hindsight, I suppose I should have asked Adi to leave before I said or did anything. But the sight of Ashok celebrating in the wake of Ishita's ruined career was just too much for me to handle.
I had seen what the loss of license had done to her. The woman who is an epitome of righteousness and strength was broken. She had cried helplessly. I had never seen her like that. For the first time since I had met her, it seemed like she did not have a solution to some problem. I always knew how important her job was for her, but I wasn't prepared for her grief when she lost it. And there I was, trying to trap her into a prank again. I had unwittingly used the word 'careless' and that had triggered the tears. I felt as helpless as she had, if not more, and I vowed then to teach Suraj a lesson.
Anyway, when I came back home and told her about what I had done, I had expected another lecture from her on the morality of what I'd done. But surprisingly, she just kindly told me I shouldn't have. But something in her tone and eyes told me she was secretly pleased. She'd been grateful when I beat up Parmeet when he'd tried to lay his hands on her. She'd been emotional when I beat up Param again outside the courthouse. But those emotions would have been evoked in any stranger. Param was a man like that. What Ashok had done was not remotely as cringe-worthy as Param's acts. But my reaction surprised her and me both.
The seeds for that were sown when Mihir told me that it was the first time that I was worried for her as my wife. I have this habit of acting first and then thinking. When Mihir made me realise, I did feel like a weight was lifted off. I didnt understand why though. It felt like some one had given our relationship a name. Its funny, because we have been husband and wife for months now. I felt relief, a peace that is felt when someone points out the obvious, even if you don't understand it fully. Its one of those situations when you are in a blind alley looking for a lost pet for hours. Someone hands it to you and leaves. You are just relieved you found your pet, you don't worry about why there was darkness in the first place, or who it was that returned the pet back to you, or even how that person saw your pet when you couldn't see in the darkness.
So coming back to her then, the smile on her face told me she was pleased with me. She later told me that she was thanking me for making Mom take care of her, but the smile was there before. She wasnt mad at me. She wasn't grateful. She wasnt emotional. She was just pleased. I did not know I was longing for that look from her. Like I did not know that I needed that relief I had felt earlier that day.
She's always been an early riser. I have usually woken up to sounds of Ishita waking Ruhi up, or Ruhi wanting to sleep a bit more. I am used to the sound of the alarm blasting through my peace. I am used to her moving around in the room. Today was no different. There was lack of movement, of course, but my sleep head did not make anything of it, till my eyes opened.
Like I said before, I don't remember the last time I stared a someone so brazenly. I have been in intimate situations with her before. I have even 'felt' something. I have stared at her. But I was shocked at my reaction yesterday. It wasnt the staring or the open mouth. It was the "not looking away" part that surprises me, and even scares me a bit. There she was, sitting in a room with me, feeling comfortable enough to do what she was doing, but still shy to see me look at her. There was nothing I saw that I hadnt seen before, for Gods sake, she was fully clothed. But the intimate act she was performing was something I hadn't expected to see. I tried closing my eyes, but that moment was short-lived. My eyes opened involuntarily. I know it's not a very intelligent thing to say, but thats what it is. I don't know why I started staring again.
I know she was embarrassed by that situation, obviously more than I was. But, there was also a look of recognition on her face. I don't know if that's the right word. But in that moment, she seemed to recognise me as intimately as I recognised her. I guess that also explains why she didn't react immediately. Are we there now? Are we at that point in our relation that we want to be with each other as man and woman? Is that what she wants too? As much as I'd like to ask her, I am scared she may say No. I am worried she's not ready for me. She looked so flustered even when our eyes met later by the dining table. She couldn't wait to run away. Is she embarrassed or just shy?
I cannot wait to find out. I cannot wait to begin wooing her. I think it will be good for the both of us. I have to woo her the way she doesn't expect me to & the way I haven't before. I think nothing standard or traditional would do, she's too bright and wise to be pleased with mediocrity. Boy, this is going to be good!
"Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably." - William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
*** How was it???
A short piece this time, something I wrote late last night after the episode. Its not well thought through, but I saw a glimpse of something in the episode yesterday and I wrote this.
The idea of this piece came from the Ghazal "Sarakti Jaaye Rukh se Naqaab Ahista Ahista"
specifically these lines:
Jawaan hone lage jab woh to hum se kar liya parda
Hayaa yaklakht aayi aur shabaab ahista ahista
***
Its been some time. I don't even remember the last time I felt like this. The last time I stared at a beautiful woman so brazenly. I guess I should be thankful for the privacy of my bedroom and the fact that my daughter was sleeping. If she was up, she would have surely asked me questions that I wasn't prepared to answer, at least not then.
I had tried sleeping during the restless night. It had taken me some time to go to sleep because my mind was still reeling from the adrenaline rush of what I had done to Ashok at the party. I was so angry and horrified by the cheap tactics he was using to win over me, that I didnt even realise that Adi was there. In hindsight, I suppose I should have asked Adi to leave before I said or did anything. But the sight of Ashok celebrating in the wake of Ishita's ruined career was just too much for me to handle.
I had seen what the loss of license had done to her. The woman who is an epitome of righteousness and strength was broken. She had cried helplessly. I had never seen her like that. For the first time since I had met her, it seemed like she did not have a solution to some problem. I always knew how important her job was for her, but I wasn't prepared for her grief when she lost it. And there I was, trying to trap her into a prank again. I had unwittingly used the word 'careless' and that had triggered the tears. I felt as helpless as she had, if not more, and I vowed then to teach Suraj a lesson.
Anyway, when I came back home and told her about what I had done, I had expected another lecture from her on the morality of what I'd done. But surprisingly, she just kindly told me I shouldn't have. But something in her tone and eyes told me she was secretly pleased. She'd been grateful when I beat up Parmeet when he'd tried to lay his hands on her. She'd been emotional when I beat up Param again outside the courthouse. But those emotions would have been evoked in any stranger. Param was a man like that. What Ashok had done was not remotely as cringe-worthy as Param's acts. But my reaction surprised her and me both.
The seeds for that were sown when Mihir told me that it was the first time that I was worried for her as my wife. I have this habit of acting first and then thinking. When Mihir made me realise, I did feel like a weight was lifted off. I didnt understand why though. It felt like some one had given our relationship a name. Its funny, because we have been husband and wife for months now. I felt relief, a peace that is felt when someone points out the obvious, even if you don't understand it fully. Its one of those situations when you are in a blind alley looking for a lost pet for hours. Someone hands it to you and leaves. You are just relieved you found your pet, you don't worry about why there was darkness in the first place, or who it was that returned the pet back to you, or even how that person saw your pet when you couldn't see in the darkness.
So coming back to her then, the smile on her face told me she was pleased with me. She later told me that she was thanking me for making Mom take care of her, but the smile was there before. She wasnt mad at me. She wasn't grateful. She wasnt emotional. She was just pleased. I did not know I was longing for that look from her. Like I did not know that I needed that relief I had felt earlier that day.
She's always been an early riser. I have usually woken up to sounds of Ishita waking Ruhi up, or Ruhi wanting to sleep a bit more. I am used to the sound of the alarm blasting through my peace. I am used to her moving around in the room. Today was no different. There was lack of movement, of course, but my sleep head did not make anything of it, till my eyes opened.
Like I said before, I don't remember the last time I stared a someone so brazenly. I have been in intimate situations with her before. I have even 'felt' something. I have stared at her. But I was shocked at my reaction yesterday. It wasnt the staring or the open mouth. It was the "not looking away" part that surprises me, and even scares me a bit. There she was, sitting in a room with me, feeling comfortable enough to do what she was doing, but still shy to see me look at her. There was nothing I saw that I hadnt seen before, for Gods sake, she was fully clothed. But the intimate act she was performing was something I hadn't expected to see. I tried closing my eyes, but that moment was short-lived. My eyes opened involuntarily. I know it's not a very intelligent thing to say, but thats what it is. I don't know why I started staring again.
I know she was embarrassed by that situation, obviously more than I was. But, there was also a look of recognition on her face. I don't know if that's the right word. But in that moment, she seemed to recognise me as intimately as I recognised her. I guess that also explains why she didn't react immediately. Are we there now? Are we at that point in our relation that we want to be with each other as man and woman? Is that what she wants too? As much as I'd like to ask her, I am scared she may say No. I am worried she's not ready for me. She looked so flustered even when our eyes met later by the dining table. She couldn't wait to run away. Is she embarrassed or just shy?
I cannot wait to find out. I cannot wait to begin wooing her. I think it will be good for the both of us. I have to woo her the way she doesn't expect me to & the way I haven't before. I think nothing standard or traditional would do, she's too bright and wise to be pleased with mediocrity. Boy, this is going to be good!
"Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably." - William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing
*** How was it???
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