Raas na aaya rehna dur kya keeje
He has had enough of her, really he did what does the woman think of herself? He did all that he could and more today for her and only her and yet this is the result of all his efforts, the response towards what he had been made to do today something so magnanimous.
Unbelievable, just unbelievable, some people can never be satisfied!
He has been sitting here, in the home of his in-laws for the past ten minutes now and she wouldn't so much as look his way, only when he entered and her father uttered his name, did she look at the door, surprise written all over her face as she saw him standing at the threshold.
Her father welcomed him and asked him to take a seat. The household was stupefied for a few moments by his presence until Ishita made a move and walked towards her bedroom for a while.
Bala walked towards the sink to wash his hands and Mihika started setting the dining table. Vandu looked at him for a while before she too started clearing a few things left scattered around the living room.
She walked back in a couple of minutes later and headed straight for the kitchen where her mother was busy cooking.
It got on his nerves, can she not see that he is still here! Doesn't he deserve at least this much? Is it too much to ask?
He walked up to her and began thus,
"Ishita I need to speak with you."
Though she would not still look at him, there was a reply,
"What could you possibly have that can be said now? You kicked me out of our home, you didn't speak up when you should have and now you are here to talk?"
It absolutely infuriated him now, this woman - her words and worst yet her actions- cant she bother to LOOK at him once while she speaks.
It is high time now that he makes her realize who exactly is in charge here - whom she is talking too - Raman Kumar Bhalla, does not take NO for an answer.
He held her hand and dragged her to the bedroom she had walked in minutes ago and shut the door behind them, only to open it again in a few seconds and speak to her family, all of whom seemed frozen to their spots as they eyes were locked in on the door,
"Please have dinner all of you, I would like to speak to my wife privately, so don't disturb us."
Saying so he closed the door once again, and turned around to find her standing by the window with her arms crossed and her spine straight, he remembered the promise he made to his daughter and soldiered on. Walking a few paces he was beside her bed, on which were a few cushions and pillows that were left scattered.
He let out a breath and shook his head, waiting a while, he stood there - hoping, expecting there would be some response to his actions just a few moments back. She would fight with him or ask him how dare he forcefully grab her hand or bring her here like this? How could he have the nerve, the audacity to do what he did now and not have the strength to speak up when it was needed of him, expected and hoped of him - by her, when she wanted it the most .
However, there was only silence from her end and it unnerved him. This woman, with whom he has fought so very much - he has begun relying on her anger, her tenacity, her unending lectures and so much more. This is the first time he is becoming acquainted with her silence - and it unsettles him to say the least.
He picks up the cushions piled on the bed one by one and begins folding them not knowing how to go on, what to say to her and how to go about it- though that had been the idea behind his intent - his action of dragging her in this room in privacy where they would not be disturbed.
She looks at him when he is done folding the last cushion and angrily charges on, for a moment he thinks she is finally about to act - slap him or something, push him, jerk him, fight with him - only for her to stop a few paces in front of him and stop. She then picks up the neatly folded pile of cushions he just assembled and scatters them one again angrily throwing them on the bed and walks back towards the window.
The act stuns him for a second or two, and then makes him smile. He has found her many things - the list goes on - childish is something he never saw her as though, not quite until today and this very moment.
He wants to laugh out loud, ask her is this the best she can do or can he actually expect something from a woman who carries the mighty title of Jhansi ki Rani, but holds his tongue, this is not the moment for frivolity. She is upset and for a reason - the same one which made him come here, so that he might apologize to her and take her back to his home - where she belongs.
He walks a step or two but once again, stops in his tracks, it is not easy to say the things he has to or right the wrongs that he means too.
So instead he picks up the disheveled pillows lined on her bed and sets them in an order, only for her to walk back again and throw them haphazardly all over the bed, and look at him lividly, before she begins.
"What do you want? Are you here to clean up the place or to talk? I think you said you wanted to talk with me, so speak up and let my things be, I can take care of them all on my own."
He speaks up then, at last
"Ishita... look I am sorry, for all that happened. I know you were not at fault in any of this; I should have not let you leave last night. I should have said something, stopped you. Believe me I realized my mistake the moment you had walked out with your mother."
She looks at him then, he thinks she might speak up but when she does not and only continues to stare at him with folded arms, he speaks once again.
"Look I was caught up between my sister and my wife last night."
The mention of Simi clearly moves her, he can see it on her face as she almost sheds a tear but before he can utter a word, make a move she is walking back towards the window once again and is once again standing with her back to him.
He walks up to her then, and stands beside her looking out the window, with the words out in the open between them, with him seeing how this affects her too, how she too is concerned about his sister as is obvious from her reaction at the mere mention of Simi, he grows pensive before voicing his thoughts.
"Ishita... I realize I brought you in my family, my home as Ruhi' mother and I entrusted you with her, made it your responsibility to look after her as much or should I say even more than I do or ever have done before. I got a mother for my daughter to ensure she has a stable family, a loving set of parents - a secure childhood which is filled with love and happiness.
I thought that is also all there is to our relationship - that you are Ruhi' mother and nothing more at all. That we are her parents and that is how it shall stay for always between us. I never expected something like this would happen to you in my wildest imaginations.
It was, is my duty to ensure your safety - not just outside our home but within it too; and I failed at that, for which I am so very ashamed, I will never be able to forgive myself.
I know I don't deserve this and may be its asking too much of you, but I hope you forgive me for this someday."
With tears rolling down her cheek, her eyes closes and lips sealed shut she shook her head, as he looked her way. When she finally looked at him those eyes, they weren't accusing him he realized - they were ... they looked hopeful and yet exasperated a bit - at him.
"Raman, I am not angry at you for that. I could never be, it is not your fault that... that man turned out to be what he did. His actions, what he said they aren't your burden to bear. Don't be harsh on yourself for a mistake that was never yours to begin with."
He looked confused at her then and could only ask the one question that came to him,
"Then why are you angry at me? Why wouldn't you even look at me? I don't understand."
"You think I am angry because of your brother-in-law' actions, then yes I am but at him not you Raman. Not after what you did today for me, I'll always be grateful for that to you."
"You don't have to be grateful for that, know it please. It's the least I could do."
"But I am Raman, for not only your actions but your words too. You... you said to my Appa you believed me, that's all I wanted to hear from you. I wanted to know if you too thought of me capable of such a thing and you didn't it means the world to me, you saying that. Only it doesn't diminish the fact I am hurt because of your words too."
"What words?"
"The ones you spoke after the police left, to me."
He recalled the angry tone, the harsh words but couldn't exactly pinpoint what she is getting at. Could she mean him saying he could care less about who stays or leaves, about not bending over or begging for forgiveness from anyone?
"What do you mean Ishita... Look I said a lot of things and I am having trouble remembering all of them now."
"You asked me if I was happy that I got justice, you asked me whether now I am satisfied that that man is in jail and later you questioned me about Simi, asked me what will happen of her did it ever occur to me what I am doing to your sister and her life."
He looked stricken for a moment, in his anger he had said many things... He had been devastated at the turn of events, he had been angry at Parmeet for being the disgusting man he was, for being the husband who stood meekly when his wife' character was being questioned and he had been the helpless brother worried sick about his sister.
"Ishita..."
However, before he could complete his sentence, she cut in.
"Do you think it was easy for me Raman? Your dilemma, the one you spoke off to Bala jiju and everyone - I too faced the same thing Raman, I was also faced with the exact same thing. I know what you meant about being caught between family and responsibilities. Being trapped between doing the right thing and doing what's for the best for everyone. As I had said last night Raman, I wanted to give... Parmeet a second chance too, only because of Simi and the baby, for the sake of this family.
However, that man... He... he cannot deserve a second chance; I can't forgive him for what he did to me. Not now nor ever. I could have let bygones be bygones, forgiven and perhaps even forgotten too what he did all those days, but what he did last night, what he attempted to do is beyond my capacity to forgive, or that of any woman. I spoke up because I couldn't take that lying down."
"But why couldn't you have spoken to me about this earlier? Before any of this happened, I could have helped you out, this could have been avoided you know?'
"Could it have Raman? Are you a hundred percent sure? Because I am not, not after last night and why didn't I approach you? Because I was scared Raman, I was feeling... embarrassed to even mention this to my own sister, can you imagine that? My own sister, one whom I have grown up with, I couldn't even mention this to her because it was so humiliating to me."
"But Ishita... this... this would have not turned so ugly, I... I would have managed to send Parmeet and Simi away somehow. Made sure he got a job in Mumbai or somewhere away from home, from us, our family. I could have found an alternative to this."
"And what then Raman, huh tell me? Would Simi and Parmeet have stayed away all their lives from our home? Sending them away was the solution really, do you honestly believe that Raman? What happened with me here could have happened with another poor girl in Mumbai or elsewhere - she might not have turned out to be another Ishita who put up a fight, she could have been another Sarika who would have lost her voice and dignity along with so much more because of that foul man."
It angered him, then the fact that she was, is right.
"Then you tell me what could have been the solution here? My sister' life is in the balance, her home, her marriage, her family - I don't know what to do here. I am lost Ishita so you give me a better solution, one that fixes everything and everyone."
"There is none and you know it."
"Exactly the point I have been trying to make."
She turned around then, facing him completely,
"Raman, I meant there is no solution to fix all the things and everyone because what's happened cannot change. Neither Parmeet' actions nor the past, none of it can be altered now. Men like him they don't change and Simi... maybe not today but someday she would have discovered the ugly truth of her husband. I am not happy to be the one that broke this spell, the one who had to bring out his ugly side in front of everyone. Would it have made a difference once the truth was out though? Simi' life is already ruined because of that man whether we like it or not. We know only about Sarika and I, Raman I don't doubt there are other girls out there too who have been his victims. Men like these don't start out of the blue or stop too. Sarika wasn't the first I can tell that and if that man gets out I won't be the last."
It upset him as much as it pained him to hear the harsh reality that he wanted to deny, though he has been trying to convince his family of the same. Amidst this though, all he could think was he had lashed out on her because she hurt him too... she, she didn't trust him enough to share her issues, her problems with him? Does she think so little of him? Have the past two months meant nothing? Has she been unable to not know him, notice him, and understand him the slightest?
He let out a breath before continuing, as he set his sight on the moon shining outside the window. He couldn't let her see how much this means to him but he has to let her know what's on his mind too.
"I am sorry Ishita; I didn't mean you mean my sister any ill. I know that, I have always. I was angry and upset when I said those things - at myself, Parmeet, everyone, the situation, life and you too."
"Me?" She asked with her brows furrowed.
"I know this wouldn't have made a difference, you are right, all that you said now but it doesn't mean I wasn't hurt Ishita... you hurt me too." He said the last words in a rush, in a small, soft voice.
"What did I do?"
She was taken aback at his words
"If you had... may be... Ishita...don't you trust me?"
"Huh?'
"I felt as if you don't trust me enough to share your problems. Like you already concluded that I won't even try and understand if something is bothering you, I know we aren't exactly contenders for the best couple award here but come on Ishita, I am your husband, you should be able to trust me at least this much. I had to learn all of what is going on in front of everyone it was embarrassing for me."
"It was embarrassing for me too when you confirmed to everyone we haven't consummated our marriage. Did you wonder what it made me feel Raman? Since it made everyone assume the worst when I was accused? Your sister said so much...she... "
"I wasn't thinking Ishita... I was bombarded with so much ... it just... I shouldn't have said that, I admit. I couldn't understand many things and then this came up, something only the two of us knew and I was shocked to read it in those messages. How did Parmeet know that?"
"How am I supposed to know that? May be he heard us talk that day when everyone just assumed I was pregnant."
"Could be..." He admitted, they were alone in the room then but it could be possible Parmeet was eavesdropping on them.
He shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he looked at his wife,
"I am sorry for all this once again."
He turned around and was about to say something when she held the sleeve of his shirt by her fingers,
"Thank you Raman... I can't say anything else for what you did today and even this isn't enough, but these are the only words I can think of."
For a moment, it had seemed to him she was stopping him from leaving... or perhaps coming along with him - those were the words he wanted to hear, but couldn't ask her even now.
Though he was disappointed, he chose not to show it the best he could,
"Like I said no need for thanks... I'll leave now."
"Raman... "
"Hmm?"
She cutely held her ear then and with a small smile spoke,
"Sorry... I threw the pillows and cushions... I was angry."
He laughed slightly at that, as he too held a ear in apology,
"Sorry I had to be the reason you were angry, once again."
They laughed at that... Of course this was their norm... getting mad at each other, because of each other.
After a while they fell silent and continued looking at each other, though none spoke a word, he finally walked towards the door with one last look at her and had barely made it towards the bed, when he heard her say.
"Are you going home?"
"Yes." He uttered the one word quietly, not facing her still. He knew Ruhi would be disappointed, as was he, in the moment... It didn't occur to him until now how very much he wanted her back too - in their home, in his room.
"Alone?"
She asked shyly.
"Alone?"He echoed the word as it reverberated through his mind.
Does it mean what he thinks it does? Is she saying what he thinks she is?
He turned around at that, with a confused slightly daze look on his face... with a small smile that appeared on his lips.
When she nodded in affirmation, in a reply to his unspoken question, the smile broke across his face and he found his heart bursting with joy.
However, of course being him, he had to say something that would betray the sweetness of the moment,
"Well then... better be fast about this then, your family may have passed out already wondering what are we doing in here for so long? Not to mention mine can come along any moment to check on them ... as it is Romi was all packed up to move in here with you already. I can't afford for them to have any wrong ideas, not with Ruhi and Shravan around to hear."
"Will you ever, ever in your life be reasonable for five whole minutes?"
"When am I not besides it isn't my mind that overworks here - it's that faulty DNA of yours that your family shares god knows what they must have already started thinking..."
"Ewww... Those are my parents, my sisters and my jiju out there can you stop with the filth here please."
"Only if you move faster, anything that comes out of my mouth if we aren't in our home in the next two minutes is up to you."
Her jaw dropped at his audacity,
"One minute, fifty seconds now." He said checking on his watch.
She stomped her foot at that, moved towards the door, opened it and was out of the room, with him following behind.
"Amma I am leaving."
"But Ishita..." her mother spoke up, only to be hushed by her father who held his wife' hand.
"Bye everyone, good night."
"Bye Ishu, good night Raman." Mr. Iyer spoke.
They were in their room before the end of those two minutes.
7