Eagle ..Goal.. Finish Line - Completed page 16 added a missing para! - Page 7

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sumsukor thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#61

I am updating the next part immediately. The next updates will be around Sunday as I will be away into a seminar. Till then read, comment ,bash ... but miss me🤗

****************

PART VI

PERILS

Chakor was concentrating on Rati's schedule. She was pacing well and was getting well with the family too. The boys loved her, she spent time with the family.

She went around shopping in the mall when she had free time and when not practicing.

She was sprinting very well and was very focused on her preparation.

Chakor took care of her applications, physical presentation, tests for medicals etc and was with her on the tracks and timing her regularly.

Her mom and bro were very happy that she is under the wings of Chakor.

***************

Neha was a good runner and she was sponsored by Laal Plantations. She had participated earlier races but she stood second when Rati was sprinting.

When she got the information that Rati was participating and being trained by Chakor her confidence was slashed and she was shouting at Hira Laal.

They have already shot various shoots with her advertising the products so all that would go futile.

Do something and stop Rati said Neha. If she wins I have no problem but I will not give back any money that was given to me she said.

Hira Laal was also agitated as he had invested in so much and with Rohan failing, his business was already taking a beating.

He called Kedar and told him his plans.

****************

The boys were playing in their Mansion grounds along with Rohan and Lalit, they have become best pals and were playing with the girls too.

Lalit was always feeling bad whenever he saw Chakor, though she forgave him and was happy the hatred was not growing. He told himself, I am sorry but I will make it by doing good to mam. Rohan was told by AA that he does not know about what happened to him and not to tell him too. Rohan spoke to Chakor and asked apologies...

Raaghav was very busy at the processing and his delivery of stocks was within the next few weeks when it has to be shipped to London and he had invested so much in this. The stocks were going through stringent QC and were stocked carefully.

He was asking his guys to keep an eye on the Laal and to try get proofs about the sports event mishap too. He got a call from Govind.

************

It was early morning when Rati was sprinting along the roads of Shimla admiring the natural beauty.

She was telling to herself, just a month and I am sure I will win the race. With the Rs. Five lakhs prize money I can do the treatment for bhai... she was thanking Chakor in her heart. Didi I am so blessed she said. She was smiling when a speeding car hit her and she rolled down the sides hitting a stationed cargo van.

She shrieked in pain, her leg completely drenched in blood.. the car flew past.

The morning walkers-by called the ambulance and she was taken to the hospital. One passer-by was shocked.

Rishab Mansion got the call... All were shocked.

The boys were upset, crying... AA was telling what will happen now, how can didi run...

In the hospital she was undergoing surgery and was unconscious.

The doctor told the condition which made Chakor go numb.

Rati's legs have been hurt terribly... the bones have been broken terribly and she will be immobile atleast for the next 6 months if not more.

Everything turned dark for Chakor. She just could not take it...

Whats happening? The doctor said Rati needs atleast a day to come out of her consciousness as she is hurt in her head too...

She knew that Hira Laal has played dirty so dirty again but she is unable to bring him to books.

A young life has been butchered... How can she salvage this...

Mummy the boys cried... She just went quiet...not hearing them she just walked ...

*****************

The boys were making frantic calls but there was no response. It was very late evening and was becoming dark.

Daddy!!! called the boys crying the girls were crying... we don't know where mummy is.. she is not answering the phone too..

We are scared. Girija was also very worried...

He came running... His call was not being answered. He spoke with the doctor, told him to give the best of treatment and just not to worry about the cost.

Maidam where are you!!! He agonized. Hira Laal let me get to you poora laal karuga thera chehara ko!!!

He came to the Mansion, consoled the boys and the roses, the baby sitters stayed behind themselves asking Raaghav not to worry but to check about Chakor.

They were searching for her. He went around the Mansion... went to the gym... her sneakers were missing... I will be back with mummy not to worry he said...

***********************

It was dark... she ran ran ran crying incessant tears. How can this happen? How can one play so cheap? What will I tell Rati's mom and her bro...

She wanted to race for her bro... is it wrong... Chakor ran so much that she did not realise she had reached the top of the hill and it was dark.

She panted, crying...about to misfoot her step ... when a strong hand pulled her back..

Leave me I have failed in saving a poor soul! I am being defeated she cried not realizing who it was.

Maidam!! He shouted...hosh me aao!!!

Where are you running? How far will you run? What are you running away from? Running away from the ugly truth? The greed for fame, money publicity has targeted a young life... instead of fighting it you want to run away??

No Raaghav how will I fight... ... She cried, palpitated... Its my responsibility... What will I tell her when she wakes up. She was shattered..

He just held her face. Just calm down... she couldnot she jittered, she was trembling.

Listen to me... No Raaghav I should have protected her, I failed... He just placed his lips on hers... soothing her... she cried... slowed down. She cried going into his chest!!

He made her sit on the bonnet of the Rover. Gave her water!!

We know who it is! Yes but we don't have any proof... How will we prove it?. and how will she run she cannot even get up... She needs that money! She is victim of the ugly side of corporate greed.

He kept quiet for long... What are you thinking Raaghav...

He turned looked into her eyes..

YOU WILL RUN...501 should return to tracks!!!

She was shocked!!!

How can I? Its impossible? My age ? I cannot run a full marathon 42 kms no way...

You will and You can...

We know who is playing dirty!!! And to cut the iron we have to turn into iron, fight fire with fire...

Money is not the thing. We can give that 5 lakhs even 10 lakhs to Rati, but she is being hurt just for greed of one filthy person.

But I cant Raaghav...

Why cant you??? Did you not run for your AZ to get free from slavery?? Even this is slavery, binding the innocent lives for their greed!!

No Raaaghav but... Stop maidam, he raised his voice...You are educated, you know what is right what is wrong... You talk big. You talk about Focus, Goal, Finish Line... Are all these only big talks??

Are you a coward... Get into the system, into the drainage if you want to clean it.. dont wait for scavangers to do the job giving some excuse... screamed Raaghav...

Your Focus is to bring down the ugly motto of those corporates who for their greed breed on these innocent people.

Your Goal should be to bring down Hira Laal's empire

Your Finish Line is when he is put behind bars for the wrong doings

You decide what you want to do, ...You do, else I will take him in my style... Raaghav ka tarrikkaaa, as I don't care about law, etc. He has done wrong, he tried to harm my son, that one reason is enough for me to mow him down...

But Raaghav... he said..Aur Kuch nai... lets get home, the boys and the girls are crying...

They drove back without talking. She was thinking... Looking at his face which was firm and clear.

****************************

Mummy ran the kids she hugged them... I am sorry...its ok mummy we know you are upset.

Daddy called the boys... His look was so firm, they have not seen him so serious.. Ar came to Raaghav... he held his hands.. Will everything be ok? He said yes.. I need you Arjun he said... He kissed them... go to your rooms please...

She just kissed the roses who were sleeping with tear stains.. I am sorry she said to them...

Girja asked...dinner.?. he said mausi just send some milk and fruits... he went up to their room.. Chakor followed silent...

*******************

He was on the bed with his hands under his head eyes closed lying straight, legs crossed. She walked in with tears crawling on to the bed and lying turning other side..

This is the first time she saw Raaghav angry...

I am.. she said... he just pulled her on to him eyes closed, kissing her forehead. We will fight it... You are not an ordinary woman, not an ordinary bird, you are the eagle, you are the phoenix who will rise even from ashes... but Raghav..

He just said goodnight.

**************

She was shocked!!! Cried!!!! how will I live...

The hurdle is gone the devil laughed...

Yes its open category, but Sorry it cannot be done... Its too late ...its closed...

Arey Saab You did a wrong when things were right now do a right when things are wrong!

Mummy You can said Arjun ...

She was surprised ...

Will the phoenix rise??

Will 501 be back on tracks?????

Edited by sumsukor - 6 years ago
77nikita thumbnail
7th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail Visit Streak 30 Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#62
Fantafab... loved it beyond words...
Right from lalit's guilt to the subtle pointing out of stringent QC to the gory side of sports, to the angry, determined raghav and the best of the lot...the RETURN OF 501... everything is bang on...God I waited for ages in the serial for the return of 501... but idiots never showed that... only imli, imli and more imli😡

Anyways that's why I always say... your writing is my solace.

Update whenever you are free dear😳


Ps... raghav babu never fails to silence his maidam in his signature style...hee hee hee love it!
sumsukor thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#63

Originally posted by: 77nikita

Fantafab... loved it beyond words...

Right from lalit's guilt to the subtle pointing out of stringent QC to the gory side of sports, to the angry, determined raghav and the best of the lot...the RETURN OF 501... everything is bang on...God I waited for ages in the serial for the return of 501... but idiots never showed that... only imli, imli and more imli😡

Anyways that's why I always say... your writing is my solace.

Update whenever you are free dear😳


Ps... raghav babu never fails to silence his maidam in his signature style...hee hee hee love it!


thanks Nikki

happy you are happy and I enjoy that word from you😃

Dont tell about that forbidden name grhhh everything went topsyturvy because of that one character😡

@ bold red 😆😆 Raghav Babu is very very clear in certain things... I know you will love it for sure 😆

he either does it in his signature style or gives a demo😉
sumsukor thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#64
Thanks Mahsa for the lovely words


My Sumi dear What a beautiful awesome amazing Writting dearloved it those raghav and Chakor moment,raghav ki Cute expression I Can imagine it our Handsome hero Sing board also great idea dearmore Excited and awaiting for the next update dear



My Sumi dear What a full thriller drama awesome Writting dear when Chakor is worried about that rati, raghav's his those dialouges you will run 501 should return to tracks, Wow!!! loved it him those amazing dialouges great Supporting to Chakor, Sure Our Chakor will Win as alwaysmore Excited for the next update dear


Awaiting for Our Maraton runner Chakor, more Excited dear



Unquote
LuvSSever thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#65
Sumi dear🤗
omg , you made me go through lot of emotions dear, best part among all ,this one is. I teared, I smiled and I look forward to them more&more now.

And the most important 501 back on tracks⭐️. thought so , she will be, since you hinted before. but I always amaze at the way you make things happen, that turn of events you write leading to the conclusion we know.

Boys being friendly , together and regretting their actions warming to see.

Poor Rati, had to become the victim of other's greediness.

Then comes the scenes that made me feel lot, the broken chakor, gone missing, raghav in search of her, sneakers missing(i still remember how chakor used to run and run inb before epis to boost herself when she is down and into misery).

Raghav finding her, holding her, she breaking down, couldnt calm herself, i was teared too, then yes our Raghav babu knows to calm his madam, he did, but what he said and did after that deserves more than a applause and more loving he is.

yes the eagle need to be back, back on track and they together has to put the evil down...they have to clean it.

yes it will have practical difficulties, i can understand her dilemma but raghav's determination, his love&support will make our eagle fly high , i am sure.

I always love how small details you mention, she telling sorry to boys on return , seeing the tear dried cheeks of roses and telling sorry to them, i loved it.

i can totally visualise, she coming in with tears, lying down other side, he turning her, kissed her forehead and said you can. loving this determined Raghav even more.

Again an intriguing precap.
Awaiting next week update.
Tk care dear.







Shivi_forever thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 365 Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 6 years ago
#66
Interesting update👏
What an emotional update😭
Rati become the victim of greed😭
Chakor was so heartbroken' loved Raghav's determination
501 will be back on tracks👏
Loved the detailing, boy's patch up, Chakor's vulnerable state & the emotions of roses & lions👏
Waiting for next
sumsukor thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#67
Thanks Sritama for the insta comment
Girls am really getting overwhelmed with all your love .. So blessed
QUOTE


Amazing Sumi di😊👍🏼a complete thriller👏 wonderful to see Rohan-Lalit & Aa-Ar bonding..Lalit's genuine repent, remorse towards Chakor..indeed v moving..Rati's accident n d subsequent repercussions of it quite shocking & heartbreaking..Chakor feeling guilty& blaming herself fr it n d way Raghav gave d perfect solution to her n calmed her down was indeed d turning point😳😳return of 501❤️superexitedn 😊n d way Raghav explained it to her,why it is necessary for her to run..fantafab👏



Either u do it or I will do it in my style👍🏼Raghav's signature style anger is back👏loving his determination n focus, d way he is trying to convince Chakor...can't wait to see our marathon runner Chakor back on tracks..always wanted to see her return to tracks in d show bt d genius writers😡anyways so excited to see her run in ur story..eagerly waiting all d v best fr ur seminar Sumi di👍🏼


Sumi di😊ur writing is a sheer treat n most importantly a soothing solace fr all of us heartbroken fans. Yes Chakor's return to d tracks will fullfil our much awaited wish😊


Unquote





sumsukor thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#68
Thanks Sukor123 for the lovely comments on twitter
QUOTE


Quickly but good update First time saw raghav angry avatar but it,s necessary
loved the way raghav entry to save chakor & how he convince chakor to took part in race poor girl rati but we all know eagle & lion soon end hira laal evilness & we will surely miss ur update but concentrate on ur work will see u soon & all the best for ur work


Unquote

sumsukor thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#69
Thanks Smita for your lovely words
Feeling so warm amd blessed

Thanks so much

QUOTE

Part 4

Another beautiful update, just finished it. It's really surprising if there is such a skin game in school sports then I can't imagine what might be happen in the National games, Asian games.


They even use the kids & their taintless dislikes to gratify their evil desires.Hira Lal is such a hypocrite who even doesn't care about the kid's health and their lives. I'm happy that Aa saved his brother from getting hurt but felt sad that Rohan get hit. He was the victim of Lal's dirty game & punished for other's sins. Waiting for the moment when he will beaten by Raghav.


I loved how Chakor had already smelled the conspiracy & turned the game by her prudence. Hat's off to Arjun & his parents who taught him the values of life, that's why he didn't think of his own victory & went ahead to help his mate player knowing that he didn't like him. That's his true victory. And Aa is so sweet & obedient, his fraternity is commendable, how easily he accepted his mother's words without asking anything & exchanged the shoes & wow, they also involved Ria in this.



I loved the small things like Ar said sorry to Aditi ,Aa kissing Chakor's eyes & praised her beauty (he is really very fond of her eyes), Raghav took food for Chakor & fed her, even he also send lunch for his employees who worked for him till late night really appreciable. Loved the line Chakor said to As "as children you will have likes, dislikes, being friendly or not but those should not be made to grow into hatred and enmity".



Rati's story is quite interesting, she too from the same background which Chakor belonged to & she took the responsibility of her during the marathon to save the cost.



I loved the most that you always pay a lot of attention to the fine detailings like you accurately describe the difference between the forged shoe with the original . The romantic gym session, the subtle kisses, the appreciation to each other's beauty and handsomeness. Lastly I must say that line "why is that women hold themselves so much/ hesitate in expressing their desire, love, needs, is it wrong to express to their husbands??, while men do it and many times take their wives for granted even when they are not in their best of moods" was very true & significant line which many don't understand but Raghav is a gem, easily understand everything. Love him more for such quality.

Unquote


sumsukor thumbnail
8th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Commentator Level 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 6 years ago
#70

Originally posted by: LuvSSever

Sumi dear🤗

omg , you made me go through lot of emotions dear, best part among all ,this one is. I teared, I smiled and I look forward to them more&more now.

And the most important 501 back on tracks⭐️. thought so , she will be, since you hinted before. but I always amaze at the way you make things happen, that turn of events you write leading to the conclusion we know.

Boys being friendly , together and regretting their actions warming to see.

Poor Rati, had to become the victim of other's greediness.

Then comes the scenes that made me feel lot, the broken chakor, gone missing, raghav in search of her, sneakers missing(i still remember how chakor used to run and run inb before epis to boost herself when she is down and into misery).

Raghav finding her, holding her, she breaking down, couldnt calm herself, i was teared too, then yes our Raghav babu knows to calm his madam, he did, but what he said and did after that deserves more than a applause and more loving he is.

yes the eagle need to be back, back on track and they together has to put the evil down...they have to clean it.

yes it will have practical difficulties, i can understand her dilemma but raghav's determination, his love&support will make our eagle fly high , i am sure.

I always love how small details you mention, she telling sorry to boys on return , seeing the tear dried cheeks of roses and telling sorry to them, i loved it.

i can totally visualise, she coming in with tears, lying down other side, he turning her, kissed her forehead and said you can. loving this determined Raghav even more.

Again an intriguing precap.
Awaiting next week update.
Tk care dear.

Thanks so so much Uma

I feel excited seeing your comments.

True there will be lot of difficulties but with her Lion, cubs she will rise high.

Thanks a lot...





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