Chapter 5
She wasn't shivering anymore, she was warm. His Jacket was keeping her body and feelings warm. It was miraculous how Bihaan was able to handle so much pain without flinching, his hand was fractured, and he was swerving out of the ER with a cast like nothing had happened, like this happened everyday, like it was no big deal. She was kind of sad that there was a cast on him. It was going to get in her way, and then she laughed at herself. How selfish? She was upset because the Cast would get in her way, and not that Bihaan had a fracture that might take weeks to heal.
She immediately, got up and walked towards him.
He saw her walking towards him...She really needed to get out of the Hospital. She out of everyone had been here all night, and hadn't had a breath of fresh air.
Bihaan: Thapki...Chalo...
Thapki: Kaha...
Bihaan: Humaare saath chalo, zyaada saval mat poocho, chalo
and she followed him, without question. He wanted to tease her by pointing out the fact that she no longer questioned his every move, but didn't want to give her reason to fight with him.
Her stomach grumbled boy was she hungry...
HE knew she must have been hungry. Air, food, and water were things Thapki tended to forget about when she was under stress, and things he had forgotten too, but to him his needs didn't matter anymore. All he wanted to do was take care of her well-being, keep her happy, keep her safe. She was walking alongside him. He wanted to hold her hand, but didn't know if he was allowed to, would she let him? Would she pull it back? He has held her hand many times, but never got the chance to truly observe the softness of her palm. He knew it would be baby soft.
She was taking in the fresh air outside, it took her a while to understand why Bihaan brought her outside. Now they were out into the streets, and everything seemed so beautiful. The colors, the bustling traffic, the cars, and walking through the market reminded her about her unmarried days when she used to roam around freely, not being in the Pandey home all day. It was nice to have privileges and servants following you per your demand. Nevertheless, she missed the rush of trying to catch busses, and rikshas to get to work in time, she missed having a job. He was watching her...she looked at peace. They continued to walk when Thapki noticed a couple, they were newly married...The husband was buying his wife choodiyan...Beautiful red and golden choodiyan. He was holding her hand, and she was picking out beautiful sets of bangles. Why wasn't Bihaan holding her hand? She wanted him to, he didn't hesitate to hold it whenever he had to pull her out of trouble...then why not today...she moved a bit closer to him...trying to hint at it as their arms and hands brushed...HE picked up the courage to brush his fingers against hers, and slowly slip his fingers through the spaces between thapki's...her heart skipped a beat, and she couldn't move anything.
She's holding back he thought. She didn't tighten her fingers around his, it shattered a little piece of his hope, he felt a little embarrassed and started to slide his fingers away, he definitely had the wrong idea.
She was a little disappointed in herself, for missing the opportunity. He tried to be romantic, and she ruined the moment. But then she remembered the promise she had made herself in the hospital when Bihaan was asleep, that she would make this marriage work, that she would put her best of efforts to bring Bihaan closer to her, she moved closer to him again slightly touching his hand, but he didn't attempt this time. She looked down, she felt her eyes water a little, not because he didn't hold her hand but because she knew she probably hurt Bihaan by hesitating. He saw it, he noticed everything. He wondered what was creating this sadness in her, was it him? Was it because he touched her? Why does he always do the wrong thing at the wrong time? He wanted to cheer her up, and he knew exactly how, he held her wrist with his hand, and pulled her over to the vadapau station. He knew she loved vadapau. She saw how his hand was shaking a bit, there was so much hesitation. This wasn't the natural Bihaan, she had to make him feel like he can touch her. She wanted him to know that he had a right to, because she wanted that right in return. To his surprise she twisted her hand and put her thumb through his index finger and middle finger, and held tight, she was shivering nervously. Was she scared about something?
She didn't want him to let go, Thapki held on tight, hoping he would get the idea... and he did...he smiled. Maybe he was right, maybe she did have true feelings for him, or was starting to have them. Their hands slowly fell into a comfortable place, Thapki felt their rings touch as they locked their fingers. She felt like it was a sign, a sign that indicated the beginning of a relationship, perhaps the true beginning of a marriage. He ordered 3 vadapau. Thapki was sooo excited, she started to stuff herself, one bite after another. He watched her, adoring every bite, adoring her style of chewing, adoring the way she continued to eat without looking up, without looking at him. She was satisfied, and that's when she realized that Bihaan hadn't eaten anything for longer than her...ever since he hurt his arm. Worry filled her forehead lines, and bihaan noticed the scrunching...
Bihaan: Thapki madam, kya hua...
Thapki knew that Bihaan would never be able to eat Vadapau it was just too spicy for him...she saw a dhaba across the street, she started to run...
Bihaan: Thapki, Thapki, Oy chuk chuk, kaha jaa rahi ho...
She crossed the street and he followed...She ordered Paratha and Paneer Bhurji...
Bihaan: bey kitna khaaogi, vaise tum moti ho jaaogi to zyaada buri nahi lagogi lekin shaayad uthne bethne mai takleef...before he could finish his sentence:
THAPKI: CHUP and she put her finger against his lips...it was the most tempting situation, how could he stop himself from kissing her lovely finger...he held his breath afraid that he wouldn't be able to control his desire, to his luck or bad luck thapki pulled him to the seats and sat him down next to her. She wanted to rest her head against his shoulder, but the cast was in the way.
Thapki: Lo, ye agaayaa mera dustman...She didn't notice that she was speaking her mind out loud. Bihaan caught on quickly...
He leaned into her ear and whispered:
Bihaan: Tum kehti ho to isse ukhaad ke phekde? Phir tum bhi khush aur hum bhi...
THAPKI turned red, and immediately said:
Thapki: Nahi, Bilkul nahi. Ye kisika dushman nahi hai, ye to tumharaa haath theek kardega na, vaise kitne hafte keliye rahega? Dhruv Sir Ki Shaadi mein bhi?
Bihaan: Itna bhi bada fracture nahi hua hai Thapki, ye do hafto mein nikaljaayega dhruv ki sangeet se pehle vaale din.
She was relieved, she wanted to enjoy every single function with him. The thought of it brought in a rush of exhilaration, and she was lost in so many thought. The aroma of the food distracted her dreams. He was excited to watch her eat again... what a cutie pie he thought...she picked up a piece of the paratha, scooping some paneer bhurji into it, and raised it near his mouth...he didn't understand at first, but was emotionally overwhelmed when he saw her eyes. They were teary, concerned, and guilty, but hopeful. They were asking for forgiveness, and he wanted to give her all the forgiveness he had within him, because in his eyes Thapki had never done anything to directly hurt him. He very lovingly ate each bite that thapki fed him.
Once he was done eating, they got up and walked back to the hospital. They needed to talk to their families. He walked in first, she was behind him, still wearing his comfy brown jacket. She always loved this one, she never got the chance to really tell him, or even comprehend how much his things meant to her. She wasn't ashamed to wear it in front of the whole family.
The surgery had started, and everyone was tense. They had gotten back at the right moment to support the family.
Thapki: Ma, surgerrry khatam honnne mein kittnee ghanntee lage ge?
Ma: doctor saab keh rahe the ki chaar ghante lage ge, bas abhi aadhe ghante pehle hi surgery shuru hui hai, hum sab ek ek karke fresh hokar aagaye, ab tum aur bihaan bhi ghar jaake aao.
Kiran: Lekin Bhai kaise ghar jaayege, aaj to driver ki chutti hai, aur bhai ke haath mein to chot lagi hai...
Dhruv: Mujhe bhi ghar jaana hai, main chodunga thapki aur Bihaan ko...
Durham was trying in his head to accept that Thapki had moved on, he was trying to accept that Thapki was wearing Bihaan's jacket in front of the Family, without shame. He was trying very hard, but a small part of him still hoped, a small part of him still felt sparks, a small part of him still felt like he deserved thapki's love and had a right to long for her love. Thapki still doesn't wear her sindoor, nor does she wear her mangalsutra. Wearing a jacket does not confirm that Thapki has devoted her entire self to Bihaan. He was trying to find loopholes in Bihaan and Thapki's relationship, and this was a chance to find reasons why Thapki might still be in love with him.
Bihaan felt a little uneasy when the three of them were left alone. There was an awkward silence that always lingered around between them. Why was there silence? Was it because Dhruv hated Bihaan? That could be one reason, or was it because there are still lingering feeling between Dhruv and Thapki? It all came down to the fear that he never deserved Thapki in the first place. She was never supposed to be Mrs. Bihaan Pandey, she was always supposed to be Mrs. Dhruv Pandey. How could she love him instead? In an alternate world if Thapki could go back and change things she would definitely choose dhruv. Maybe she's just accepting him because she feels like she has no other choice. All of these thoughts cluttered Bihaan's mind and he couldn't think straight, he quickly insisted:
Bihaan: Hum nahi jaayege ghar, jab tak surgery khatam nahi hoti, agar Thapki aur dhruv ko jaana ho to app dono jaao.
Thapki boiled with anger, they have been down this path before. He's trying to sacrifice what he wants, for what his brother wants again, disregarding her happiness.
Thapki: Mujhe kahi nahi jaana, and stomped off into one of the hallways of the Hospital.
Dad: Are Bihaan, tum kaise baatein karte ho, Thapki tumhaare bina kaise ghar jaayegi, tumne usse pucha use ghar jaana bhi hai ya nahi. Tum uske pati ho, chaahe kuch mahino keliye hi sahi...
Hearing Dadi's words helped Bihaan hit the ground, and pushed him into reality. There were only 2 weeks and 6 days left of their marriage, then they were permitted to part their ways. He needed to talk to this about her, as a mature adult, seriously. He cannot joke his way through knowing what Thapki wants, he had to look for her. Where was she? He began roaming the hallways of the hospital...
When his eyes caught on someone talking to the police officer... IT was shraddha handing a
a bulk of money to the officer.
Shraddha: KISI ko bhi pata nahi chalna chaahiye ki humse ye galti hui hai, aap mere papa ko jaante hai, voh ek retired army officer hai, unki izzat keliye, aap ye baat kisiko bhi nahi batayege, varna aap jaante hai na kya ho sakta hai.
BIHAAN may have not been in school long, but he was smart enough to put some of the pieces together. Shraddha had not once shown up at the hospital since last night. She wasn't the cause of the accident because she was in the Pandey home when it happened, but why was she giving the officer money, he had to find out more...he followed her...She went outside into the parking lot...Bihaan quietly followed her, hoping she wouldn't turn around before he found a spot to hide and spy on her actions. She was in too much of a rush to notice anyone, she was heading towards a specific red car parked secluded from other cars. Bihaan decided to turn around and pretend to be on the phone, as Shraddha sensed that someone was following her...She didn't notice anything and continued to move...
She slipped into the car, and started to talk...
Unknown Voice: kaam hogaya?
Shraddha: Ha, maine abhi paise diye hai, police officer ko apna mu band rakhne keliye, ab kisiko nahi pata chalega ki, peeke chalaane vaali galti tumhaari thi. In fact, is case ko unsolved hit and run kehke file band ho jaayegi, trust me, don't worry.
BIHAAN wanted to burst out into flames at that very moment, but before he could do anything the car drove off... HOW COULD she cover up a crime? She was an army officer's daughter, out of everyone she should be the one protecting and serving the law. The irony was entertaining Bihaan, but worried him more. This kind of girl was going to come into the home as Dhruv's wife? NO it could not happen, he had to tell Thapki about this before he did anything else.
He quickly rushed back into the hospital and swifted through the hallways looking for thapki and finally found her crying on a bench on the PEDS floor.
He didn't know whether to console her, or reveal the truth to her, but he used his best judgement as to what was more important, Thapki out of everyone needs to know who did this to her father.
Bihaan: Thapki
Thapki was still upset with him, he had not wanted to go home with her, he wanted to send her with Dhruv. He didn't notice that she was angry, he didn't even follow her to see what was wrong. She was expecting a cute apology coming her way when she saw him, and her tears started to lose their pace.
He sat next to her...
Bihaan: Thapki, hum jaante hai tumhaare papa ki haalat ke peeche kaun zimmedar hai
Thapki's eyes widened as she exclaimed: KAUN hai? Bihaan bataao mujhe? Aur tumhe kaise data? Kya Police ne use pakad liya?
Bihaan: Police ko maro goli, Sirf Gun Leke ghoomte hai. Unhe sirf do hi cheez aati hai. D se darna, aur R se Rishvat lena. Maine Humne abhi shraddha ko paise dete hue dekha, phir uske peeche peeche bahar tak gaye, aur voh kisi gair mard ke saath gadi mein thi. Uska chehra to main nahi dekh payaa lekin unki baatein humne sunli. Ye gunna chupah rahi hai shraddha, bahut bura kar rahi hai...kya pata iske peeche uska hi haath ho. Lekin voh aisa karegi kyun? Thapki ab hume kya karna chaahiye?
Thapki didn't believe him. He must be delusional, he has seriously been acting absurd since dhruv asked to drive them home. Now he is keen on blaming Shraddha to end it between her and Dhruv. She was still driven by anger. Her thoughts were not straightened out, and her anger towards Bihaan did not soften, in her mind Bihaan was attempting to bring her and Dhruv back together again, at any cost. She wanted to make it clear, that her happiness did not lie in dhruv, and she felt like clenching her fists at the thought of Bihaan being happy seeing her and dhruv together. Was he not passionate enough to fight for their marriage? He doesn't have to try and sacrifice his love? Or was it even a Sacrifce? were his feelings as strong as hers? Nothing was clear for her...she quickly blurted out
Thapki: Shraddha mein kya kami hai?
Bihaan: Matlab?
Thapki: Usse tum Dhruv se alag kyun karna chaahte ho?
Bihaan? Oy Chuk chuk dimaag to theek hai na? Kuch bhi bole jaa rahi ho
Thapki: Main bilkul hosh main hu Bihaan, Shraddha bigdi hui ho sakti hai, lekin aisa kaam nahi kar sakti. Tum chaahte kya ho? Ki dhruv aur main ek ho jaaye, aur shraddha chali jaaye dhruv ki zindagi se? Tumne ek baar mujhe aur dhruv sir ko milaane ki koshish ki hai, dobara kabhi mat karna.
Bihaan: Thapki, humaara aisa koi iraadaa nahi hai
Thapki: Acha to aaj subha...chodo jaanedo, lekin ab kya? Shraddha pe aisa ilzaam kyun?
Bihaan: Thapki humne usse dekha tha...tummm And before he could complete his sentence
Thapki: Tum aisa soch bhi kaise sakhte ho, Shraddha itni bhi buri nahi hai
Bihaan was tired of trying to justify himself in front of her. She never believed him, it took exhausting efforts for her to listen to him when he really needed her to, he didn't want to ask the dreaded question, because he wasn't sure of the answer.
Bihaan: Thapki tumhe humpe bharosa nahi hai?
Thapki: Tumpe Bharosa koi kaisa karsakta hai? It slipped out of her mouth, but it was somewhat true. She didn't trust him fully, or did she? In the dilemma to figure out whether she fully trusted him, she completely angered Bihaan...
Bihaan: Theek hai Thapki, Theek hai, agar tumhein aisa lagta hai to tum sahi, aur humm galat, and he stomped off with power that was unknown to him, with vigor that scared Thapki...He knew that if she didn't trust him, this relationship would never last, his hopes were destroyed the same day, he had started to see her as his very own.
Thapki regretted every word she said, but before she recognized her misdirected thoughts, it was too late. Of course she trusted him, more than herself. He was the one who would do anything for her without her ever having to ask. Why would a person like this not be worthy of trust? Yes, he didn't marry her the right way, and never spoke the truth regarding his out of character decision, but it was apparent that he regretted the decision. His every action showed that he wanted to correct himself, and maybe that's why Thapki couldn't trust him. She still wondered, what was more important to him getting over his guilt, or loving his wife. Until he didn't confess how he felt about her, this would remain in question. But how could she let him believe that she didn't trust him in every other way? She trusted every move he made for their families, not a single doubt. She was torn up and shattered to let him leave like this...She saw that he was afar, leaning against the wall upset. Not wanting to look at her...she wanted to go up to him and beg him to forgive her...but she wasn't brave enough to tamper with his mood right now. The way he took off imprinted her mind. She couldn't let herself down, she couldn't let him down...she picked up and gathered all the courage she had...she walked over to him...and she tapped, he didn't turn around. She tapped again, and he didn't turn around. She tapped for a third time, and this time she couldn't take it anymore, she lost control. She wanted to be strong for the two of them always, but the truth was she was an emotional wreck, too much had happened in the past twenty-four hours. She let out a sob... and leaned against the wall...
He didn't want to talk to her, she can try all she wants. HE resisted, and resisted, and resisted, but couldn't take it anymore. Her sobs were throwing sharp pains down his chest, he turned around...she really needed to go home he thought. She really needed a proper rest. She looked fatigued, and being honest with himself he admitted he missed her smile. Of course he wouldn't tell her that, she didn't deserve to know, not until she learns to trust him, if ever...he thought. But he couldn't see her life this...he held her wrist firmly, and pulled her across the hallway. His worry, anger, love, concern, and broken heart all took over his actions, and he dragged her out of the hospital...
she felt pain on her wrist, but ignored every bit of it, because Bihaan was deciding for her, Bihaan was taking her...and for that one instance she was glad that he wasn't able to step away from her sobs. He called the first Riksha he saw and forced her inside as he sat next to her, finally letting go of her wrist.
He looked the other way, he didn't want to see her teary eyes, because he knew he would melt, and he has melted enough for her.
He wasn't looking at her. She wanted to stop crying, she really did. OH how she wished she didn't have to hold anything in, and he would just let her cry in his arms like last night. Thapki didn't like this cold-hearted stone-like Bihaan. She wanted her BIHAAN back, the one that couldn't see pain in anyone's eyes. But her sobs slowly, continued...
Bihaan was frustrated, there was a fire building up in him...
Her sobs just got louder...she was crying in a ricksha in front of the driver, it was not only aggravating, but embarrassing that his wife was crying because of him...and not because he was concerned about what the driver would think, but he felt ashamed that he let it come to this...he should try to control his anger...he took two deep breaths and lifted his hand so that he could put it around her shoulder and pull her closer to him...but as he moved his hand thank flinched, she was afraid of his touch? She closed her eyes, and squinted her forehead...as if she was awaiting the worst. Bihaan breathed in shaking...seeing the marks he left on her wrist. He decided to hold off on touching her, he didn't want to shock her more...he wanted to say something...but before he could they were home...she slowly stepped out, entered the Pandey Home and quickly ran to the bathroom...he waited...wondering how he could fix this, thinking up plans in his head for when she came out...
END OF CHAPTER 5
Edited by AriVeerAT - 10 years ago
Ganesh Kartikeya
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