DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- DELETED- AN- PAGE 1- PLS READ

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Mallika-E-Zain

@Mallika-E-Zain

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#111

Finally commenting on this one!
Anyways staring with it, thank you so much for the special credit in the starting Shru🤗 That means a lot! The plot is awesome. And I'm soo excited to read ur SS!
Beginning with the prologue, OMG!! It was terrific! I mean I read it all in one go and I'm like why the hell is Sanskaar being whipped and lashed like that??😡 😭Quite a suspense must say! That Bagri I really wanted to lash him😡😡 Annapurna taking a stand for Sanskaar well, I'm really waiting to know what had happened😕. But the prologue was very capturing and intriguing. Couldn't resist going to the first chapter, that very instant👏
Now coming to the first chapter! Man! Its brilliant👏👏! I loved it to the core of my heart I tell you!😳
The introduction of all the characters was absolutely mind-blowing😃. Shekhar's life history was quite like that of old kings who indulged in polygamy.
Swara's connection with Janki and Ragini's connection with Sharmishtha was not something I'd expected. Really looking foward to how this will unfold in the coming chapters😃 As usual Ragini fascinated Annapurna more because of her docile self and obedient features. The retaining of Swara and Ragini's actual character was really good.
Why is Sanskaar in bars?? I'm sure he's not mad! 😭
Finally coming to SwaSan eyelock and that amazinggg cosmic connect!. The moment he speaks about her, she feels it and looks up to him😳. OMGGG!! That was FANTABULOUS👏😳
That entire para gave me goosebumps, it was so beautiful at the same time creepy the way Sanskaar roughly turned back!
The first chapter was really really very beautiful, ethereal and just brilliant👏😃. Waiting for further chapters. Wanna read more and more. Eagerly waiting to see how this hatred between SwaSan converts to love😳. Update soon😛

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Sanya17

@Sanya17

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#112

hi shruti thanks fr replying n yes I m new reader n new to the forum too

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#113

Originally posted by: kaku17
Shruti..🤗..what a fantastic start to your story...its absolutely spell binding 👏...I have always been enamoured with stories dealing with royalty and your story has the backdrop of the rajputana, my eternal favourite...so how can I miss out on this..😉...history by default always beckons me...

Prologue itself set the pace of the story when queen AP came to rescue prince Sanskaar from the dungeons...was absolutely sure that he cannot be mad...a person if after so much of in human torture can give a death glare to his tormentor, that person cannot be mad even in anyone's worst nightmares ...of course his faculties were all at the right place..😉.

The arrival of gadodias was interesting...ah you kept Janki alive in this one and she traces her lineage to the sisodia clan 😲...amongst all the royal houses of rajputana, the sisodias are my favourite and well the least was the Marwar dynasty for me, though they were stinking rich even for the royals...all thanks to their flourishing business of Marwari horses among others...sisodia's were of a different mettle all together and till that they are considered to be the supreme amongst all the rajgharanas 😃...lols I digressed...sorry about that

ok so Janki is fond of swara...interesting...and am glad that you showed the soul connection between the two here also in your story...sanskaar getting distracted by swara flitting around in the courtyard...😆...am sure the charming princeling, our very own Lakshya will obviously fall for swara and then our prince Sanskaar will make his move...whoa..me hooked...

Ragini, here also timid but even then there's a strange sense of foreboding...she's not so cool, calm and collected from inside as she projects herself to be...and me super glad that here you showed swara as the ethereal beauty, just like her mother..though Ragini is also beautiful but is no match for swara...hmmm interesting times ahead...😛

ok just a teeny weeny niggle...Rana Durga Prasad Maheshwari just does not sit too well...if only there was one *singh* somewhere in his name,, it would have been great...if you noticed, almost all the royal houses in rajputana despite whatever their titles, always had *singh* in their name...apologies for voicing out my discomfort with the absesne of *singh* in royal name, as even the samants and their vassals had *singh* in their names...

you have a very descriptive way of writing and as a result I could visualise the entire thing happening in front of me say like a movie 😃...am glad that I caught this story on time...😳..

Waiting anxiously for the story to unfold..😃.

cheers

Kaku 🤗

How have you been? Have so been missing you and when I saw this lovely long reply, I can't tell you how pleased I was! Sorry it's taken me some time to respond but was manic at work. Thank you so so much! I am so glad you like the setting and the start of this story. It seems a lot of people are fans of that era as I am, and whilst I am no expert on it, I can visualise these characters there so worth an attempt I thought!

You were right about Sanskaar from the Prologue as you saw later:).

Yes Janaki is alive! And aha- the Sisodias are so interesting aren't they? From their Suryavanshi lineage to the kings they spawned and I deliberately used that as they are Mewari rather than Marwari and wanted to show a political alliance. Don't worry about digressing, I love those discussions:)

Ha! Another one who has predicted Lakshya falling for Swara! But yes, Sanskaar's feelings cannot be predicted as they will be more complex of course:). Yes I deliberately made Ragini the way she was- her behaviour has to be shown having a root in her psyche.

I get the niggle but that's why I put the long Author's Note disclaimer at the start :) See Maheshwari is a separate caste itself and so I cannot use Singh with Maheshwari, not that the Maheshwaris would be Rajputana royalty by surname anyway in strict terms I think. The Maheshwaris, Agarwals, Oswals- all would have been traders and the terms Marwari was probably used to refer to these that operated or traded (a lot in jute) outside their homeland. But I have had to bend for the story but it felt too much a stretch to have Durga Prasad Singh Maheshwari 😆. I am in a dilemma about forthcoming characters and this has helped as I think you will get to see the Singh name soon for other royals, and those names will be technically more authentic in this setting than Maheshwari or even Gadodia I feel! I hope that makes sense? It was like using the term Rana- it is used more for effect than accuracy.

I am so pleased you are interested in this one. I need to do some serious work on the next chapter!

Lots of love and please do keep commenting,

S xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#114

Originally posted by: Sanya17
hi shruti thanks fr replying n yes I m new reader n new to the forum too

Lovely to make your acquaintance Sanya, welcome to the Forum! Hope to converse more with you:) I will send you a buddy request and PM you on later parts if you are interested? x

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#115

Originally posted by: MusicAddict
Finally commenting on this one!
Anyways staring with it, thank you so much for the special credit in the starting Shru🤗 That means a lot! The plot is awesome. And I'm soo excited to read ur SS!
Beginning with the prologue, OMG!! It was terrific! I mean I read it all in one go and I'm like why the hell is Sanskaar being whipped and lashed like that??😡 😭Quite a suspense must say! That Bagri I really wanted to lash him😡😡 Annapurna taking a stand for Sanskaar well, I'm really waiting to know what had happened😕. But the prologue was very capturing and intriguing. Couldn't resist going to the first chapter, that very instant👏
Now coming to the first chapter! Man! Its brilliant👏👏! I loved it to the core of my heart I tell you!😳
The introduction of all the characters was absolutely mind-blowing😃. Shekhar's life history was quite like that of old kings who indulged in polygamy.
Swara's connection with Janki and Ragini's connection with Sharmishtha was not something I'd expected. Really looking foward to how this will unfold in the coming chapters😃 As usual Ragini fascinated Annapurna more because of her docile self and obedient features. The retaining of Swara and Ragini's actual character was really good.
Why is Sanskaar in bars?? I'm sure he's not mad! 😭
Finally coming to SwaSan eyelock and that amazinggg cosmic connect!. The moment he speaks about her, she feels it and looks up to him😳. OMGGG!! That was FANTABULOUS👏😳
That entire para gave me goosebumps, it was so beautiful at the same time creepy the way Sanskaar roughly turned back!
The first chapter was really really very beautiful, ethereal and just brilliant👏😃. Waiting for further chapters. Wanna read more and more. Eagerly waiting to see how this hatred between SwaSan converts to love😳. Update soon😛

Sakshi sweetie 🤗

How are you feeling? Hope better hon! So pleased to see you comment and really appreciate it given the circumstances!

You earned that mention:) I am so happy you like the plot so far. I am very nervous as this is quite an involved story and I have a lot of ideas that I need to do justice to. Ah that scene was brutal no? But I had to set the scene and you will soon find out exactly what serious crimes Sanskaar is accused of.

I am so relieved to read the reactions to the First Chapter. Yes exactly re Shekhar- it wasn't unknown to have more than one wife so...

Ah, yes the mother and daughter connection swap hopefully makes things interesting. I just tend to see Swaragini like that now so retained their basic characteristics although will change some of their characters going forward.

Sanskaar is sort of guarded as he is a loose canon even when mad and as he can get errrm well hyper when guests come and all I guess they have to keep him in a "safe" room. Don't worry, he won't stay cooped up too long 😉. So glad you really felt that SwaSan scene- the intention was to set that up right at the start. So happy you liked this! Will look for you after the next update but only when you are feeling up to it.

Lots of love and energy xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#116

Originally posted by: Nynaeve
Dear Shruti,
Firstly, my apologies!. I was quite bogged down at work and really did not get a chance to read till today😭

Now to the story - a historical romance - my favourite genre and you had me at the very beginning, with the quote from 'A Tale of Two Cities' (a perennial favourite, inspite of it being a tragic love story). - how it sets the ambiance. 👏👏👏
And you have me hooked - how quickly will we get to read the other chapters. (Not very patient - not me - especially when it comes to books)

Nyna

Hey Nyna dear 🤗

Please don't apologise, I totally understand being in the same boat at work myself and am grateful to you for the time taken!

I am so glad you are interested in the setting and plot so far. ATOTC- I love that book so much! I have read it innumerable times, I carry it around on my kindle too with other faves like my endlessly read P&P and some others too of course, as well as most of Shakespeares works. I will do my best to update quickly, I usually write OSs/TSs for that reason- no patience with myself when a story is spinning in my head but have hit a manic period at work and also this is a very intricate tale so need to map things out carefully. I hope by the end of this weekend we will have at least 2 more chapters out!

Thank you so much for this and will look forward to your take as we move along!

Best wishes,

S x

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shamina

@Sakkiyah

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#117

Awesome update, I really loved the concept. Historical stories has a speciality. In that somany different situations and different emotions will be seen. It will be a story of a potitics, love, revenge, war.I real loved the prologue,Somany mysteries hide in that. The introduction of the characters was also beautifull.thank you so much for giving such a beautiful story.waiting for your next update.

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#118

Originally posted by: Sakkiyah
Awesome update, I really loved the concept. Historical stories has a speciality. In that somany different situations and different emotions will be seen. It will be a story of a potitics, love, revenge, war.I real loved the prologue,Somany mysteries hide in that. The introduction of the characters was also beautifull.thank you so much for giving such a beautiful story.waiting for your next update.

Hey Sakkiyah,

Thank you so much for your appreciation! Glad you are interested in the setting and context, I will try my best to do justice to the story- I do want to deal with a number of elements so it's a tall task but one can only try and you all truly keep me going:) I am going to write Chapter 2 tomorrow, the outline is done!

Love,

Shru x

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#119

Dear all,

Those wishing to read, I have just posted Chapter 2 on Page 1:) Please read if time and inclination permits and do let me know through likes and comments, if I have done ok! Many thanks!