Posted:
Hey guys!
I'm usually a silent reader but I have really enjoyed reading a lot of the awesome FFs, OSs, TSs, SSs and posts on this forum. I was not really following Swaragini although I was aware of the general story and sometimes watched but have been hooked since the SwaSan track really started. I love this couple and felt inspired to write this short OS. It is set after the scene where Lakshya and Ragini wake Sanskar/ Swara and confront them, threatening to expose them. I just mainly wanted to explain Sanskar's feelings and emotions as I read a few comments etc about how quickly their relationship seems to be developing and found it an interesting angle to explore from his perspective. It has been an age since I wrote a fan inspired story so please forgive any mistakes. I have written this very quickly, all in one sitting so hope it's not too bad and that some of you at least enjoy it!
REDEMPTION
Sanskar held a sobbing Swara in his arms, gently stroking her dishevelled hair and trying to engulf her in so deep an embrace which if it could, would block everything unpleasant out for her, not only in this moment but forever.
It had been a night of a literal rude awakening. It abruptly shattered the fragile bubble they seemed to have jointly built up around themselves over the past few weeks, a time where they had an unpleasant mission which forced them to live a momentous lie. But somewhere along the way, the lie that had seemed so distastefully necessary seemed to have morphed into a state akin to an inevitable reality, shocking in itself for the speed in which it had crept up on him. Their "marriage" which he had been totally against when Swara first suggested it, but had acknowledged the only legitimate way to bring Swara into their house in order to expose the succubus masquerading as human and his brother's wife and Swara's sister, had almost too quickly become something he was very comfortable with and even though he had never admitted it even to himself until now, enjoyable. How could this have happened to him of all people and how had he come to this so suddenly, so quickly? This sobering thought had almost the same effect on him as the icy water Lucky had earlier tossed over him, waking him from his sleep to then jointly face yet more unbearable drama and taunts about their fake marriage from his once beloved brother and Ragini. The same confrontation that now left Swara helpless again and seeming swamped by circumstances and pain, a pain that stuck him with equal ferocity for what it was doing to her.
How had this slender and almost ethereal girl who gave the impression of being almost too delicate, but one whose will he had come to know was encased in iron, managed to thaw his once frozen heart and get under his skin like this? He had tried not to think of her as a real person for a very long time, after all he had projected all his frustration and anger and pent up hate against her too, seeing her as necessary collateral damage in the war he had waged against his family. Even when he had his earlier misgivings, he had always managed to firmly squash them and bury them beneath the weight of his rage and grief. How did one little person manage to diffuse that much vindictiveness and desire for revenge which had sustained him for years, in the space of months and a few fateful conversations with her?
That unforgettable night when he had saved Swara from Mohini, it seemed as if all the logic he had previously applied had left him. He had not wanted to acknowledge the reluctant admiration that had been building in him for weeks before when all his and Ragini's joint efforts to damage and harm Swara never really succeeded in breaking her- she was made of sterner stuff than she looked and as a fighter himself, had he not subconsciously applauded that quality in her? Mixed with that was wonder- a wonder that whilst his grief and trials turned him to hate and anger and vengeance, this incredible girl never stooped to bitterness. This constantly amazed him and the more time he spent with her, she seemed to have sucked everything that was hurting and destroying him out to fill that blessed void with fun, laughter and friendship, even amidst the worst of circumstances. Just as she applied ointment to his wounds after the fight he had for her with Lucky, she had countless times, unknowingly been applying a magical salve to his conscience and to his very inner self. Her forgiveness and the ease with which it was given, astounded him, her continued acceptance of him as a friend without ever taunting him for his past misdeeds and her very genuine compassion about his earlier tragedy, poured forth from her and swamped him with their force.
He had initially tried to withstand the onslaught of the feelings she seemed to unleash in him by just being herself- good and pure, like molten gold, never corrupted by anything but shining bright amongst all the dirtiness that tried to drown her, but he was helpless. She had crept past his defences and had made a home in his heart without him even realising. She had done the impossible- nothing could make him forget Kavita but the love he held for her now no longer hurt him and drove him to want to destroy the world that took her from him. It now gently lapped at his inner thoughts like a calming sea breeze that caressed your face when you had time to stand on a quiet beach and reminisce. He thought of Kavita and still felt pain that she lost her life so meaninglessly and at a time when they should have started living, but that pain no longer lashed him like a thousand edged whip flaying his senses and making him want to hurt and burn.
What Swara had said to him about Kavita and moving on, and how it would have hurt Kavita to see what he was becoming, had become, was not something that was not obvious, but for some reason, coming from the girl he had hurt so much, almost sought to destroy in his twisted game, with tears in her eyes and true compassion and forgiveness, was nothing short of magic. She had not stopped there, she had unstintingly accepted his heartfelt offer of friendship, his apologies and had done something he had no right to expect from her of all people- offered him her trust. She trusted him to prove his friendship true, to repent and to help her with her mission, she went as far as to entrust her whole being to him by pretending to be his wife, with childlike faith that he would not take advantage or harm her in any way.
And so it came to this. She was now like a crucial part of his being. Why else had the thought of her leaving a few weeks before made him panic and want to somehow stop her? Why did that make him somehow know with an alarming certainty that he could not afford to let her leave now, not before he had made sense of why he felt this undeniable connection with her, why her tears moved him the way they did, why he felt forced to try to make her smile and when she did, why he felt like all was right with the world again, even if for a few moments. Why had he started constantly thinking of how beautiful she was and how perfect her smile was and why each shift of emotions on her expressive face made him want to decipher her to ensure she stayed in a state of happiness and calm?
Swara's sobs seemed to have died down and she seemed to be trying to shift in his arms, and Sanskar's reverie was suddenly interrupted as he realised that he was probably crushing her. He very gently eased his hold but kept his arms firmly on her shoulders, holding her in place on the bed she has dejectedly sat on once Lucky and Ragini left, threatening to expose them tomorrow if they did not end what they called a charade.
A handkerchief, even if he had one (which he did not!) would not do today. He gently wiped the tears from her angelic face and tiled her chin very gently and slightly so that her eyes, brimming over with yet more unstoppable tears, met his.
Swara (her voice raw and breaking): "Abh hum kya karenge Sanksar? Hamari baat waise bhi kohi nahi maan na chahta, woh nahi believe karenge ke hum shaadi shuda hai. Phir se hungama hoga aur explanations dene padenge." At this, her voice caught again and more tears threatened.
Sanskar: "Sshh.. It's ok Swara, please. Abh aur nahi. Jo bhi hoga hum kal dekhlenge. Lekin main tumhe kabhi bhi haarne nahi doonga, joh bhi hoga main tumhare saath hoon aur main sabh theek kar doonga. Please trust me?"
Swara looked at him, as ever, his voice soothed her and she felt a glimmer of hope at his words despite having felt despair and fatigue at the endless challenges a few moments before. She tremulously replied: "I trust you."
Sanskar smiled at her, his heart bursting at those three short words, which to him in that moment were priceless. She redeemed him truly and in doing so, enslaved him forever.
Cricket
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
