'Mom with U' ' Maa Oo Maa'page 80 - Page 3

Originally posted by: sri_4

hey bhoomi..

another great poem,,,u have penned down the feeling of a girl who got married n left her desh to go pardes..it surely remimded me of that movie..but still i feel u have summend up the whole story in just a few lines...alone,no one to support,new place,new changes n new country ,new traditions n culture,she only can expect from her husband - but hes too buys with his work n friends,shes alone again,but it made her realise her own self(@purple)..i liked that line apart from those i mentioned down...

i personally know may cases where the married women suffered a lot after going to abroad...many who never came back n still r suffering..

i really appreciate u because of the topic u choose to write these poem..,,they r real situations people face!!

i feel that u r poems are easy to understand hence simple but the message u give from them is enormous,it makes me realise life in different way again n again...i really thank u for writing such great poems...

Inn salon, mahino, hafton,dinoo, shanno mein akele kitna kuch jhelaa hai,
Tanhaee mein khud ko jaanaa, kisipe bhi ab na bharosaa hai,

Sochne Aaj baithi Piya sang pardes main aakar kya paaya, kya Khoya hai,
Likh saki jo paaya wah bhavishya hai, jo khoya wah vartamaan hai,

Paaya Kaam to Khoye Rishte Tamaam,
Paya Naam to Khoya Armaan,

great job!!!do continue u r poems n stories(half done no probs..hehe)!!!

and thanks for evertihing u said in before post for me..hope u have a grear yr!!!

good wishes..!!

sri:-)

Originally posted by: sumaiya wahid

Another brilliant one Bhoomi!!! Luved the way u wrote it n portrayed the whole thing. Even I luved these lines the most:

"Shayad Piya ko kamm daam mein main Naukarani Mill gayi hun,
Jo chup rahe to daasi, dukhi rahe to aalsi aur bole to kanton si chubhti
hun."

And hats off to u for this yaar....I mean....it has such a sensitive concept n u hav done it extremely well. Gr8 work!!!

Originally posted by: Divya_kaldivya

Bhoomi... How do you write it yaa.... Itni aasaani se... you have told the truth... GREAT work done by you.....

Originally posted by: KehanT

ab kya kahein in lafzon ki gehrayi
kya nafa aur kya nuksaan ki bharpayi
zindagi hai zindagi se dur
saansein chalti hai par bekhabar si

har ek shabd apna sa lagey
yoon lagey meri hi kahani si kahey
ek aisi dastaan jiske kirdaar kayi,
phir bhi sabki kahani wahi


kyun aisa lagta hai , is videsh mein koi apna sa nahi, pyaar sabse bada khokhla shabd lagta hai ..

bhoom ek baar phirse apne dil jeet liya hai , likhtey rahiye

love
Kanu

Sapnoo Ka Ghar

Dheemi Dheemi boondoo ki awaaz aee,
Khidaki kholi dhandi hawa chaee.

Yaad aye woh lamhe sunder,
Sanjotey milkar hum Sapno ka Ghar.

Har rang ke phool bhejatey har Din,
Samajh letey meri Takliff kahe bin.

Shaadi ke din chounkey sabhi the,
Hamari Shaadi mey nache hum bhi the.

Ammaji ke Ankhoon ke tum taarey,
Babuji ke Sapney tumhi pe sarey.

Yaad hai kaise tum mujhe satatey the,
Manaa karoo to bhi choti meri banatey the.

Tum jab jaatey yaad bahut atey the,
Apney sath ghar ki ronak le jatey the.

Tumhari chitthi sau bar padh leti thi,
Use haath mey thamker phir soo leti thi.

Tumharey shaheed honey ki khabar jab aee,
Mere dil ke tukadey huae, Ankh bhar aee.

Lagata chikoon, chilaoo, kaise bhi kar tumhi paas bulaoo Mai,
Na mumkin tha Ek pal bhi tumhey bhoolaoo mai.

Ammaji, babuji ki Ankh se Asoo nahi baha,
'Garv hai mujhe apney bete par'unhoney bas yehi kaha.

Desh ki Raksha mey tumney lahoo bahaya hai,
Aaj Mujhey yeh bhi samajh aya hai,

Hamney Apney Sapno Ka Ghar nahi banaya hai,
Magar Desh ke Saponn ko Bachaya hai.

Har Rang ke Phool Maa ke charanoo mey Arpit hai,
Matrabhoomi ke liye Sab kuch Samarpit hai.



..........................Bhoomikauttam