'Mom with U' ' Maa Oo Maa'page 80

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

Bhoomi

@bhoomikauttam

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: sun_423
awesome bhoomi..... i loved it really.. kitna achcha likhthi ho tum.. even i write poems, lekin itna achcha kabhi nahi likh paathi.. your poems have so much meaning in them.. they have the depth.. emotions... they are just perfect.. many people will relate with your poem.. duniyaan ke bheed mein aksar log apni self identity, self existence ko hii bhool jaathe hai.. they live for others... aur ek aisa waqt aatha hai jab nobody is ready to live for them... this poem teaches that chahe kuch bhi ho jaye lekin ek shaqs ko kabhi yeh nahii bhool na chahiye that woh jinda hai.. doosron ke liye jeethe-jeethe, yeh kabhi nahii bhool na chahiye kii usmein bhi jeevan baaki hai.. self existence hii sabse zyada zaroori hai.. self less se bhi zyada self existence zaroori hai warna one cannot survive... yeh bohat zaroori hai for people to know that 'Main Hoon'... this will make life easier & whether you are 20, 50, 70 it does not matter.. all that matters is your self determination & realization of 'I Exist'... it is never late for a new beginning.....very well written dear...... good one....👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

Hi Surya,

I am happy that u liked it dear. This waas written long back among the inital poems of mine. Even before startign stories i use to try my hand at poems. This poem is special and i posted in the first beginning as i felt this gives a complete look at life where even if we loose the most precious thign in life it has to be learnt the hardest way that u need to live as u have a life of ur own.. make it count by hsaring emotions experiences with others.. Thats what ht lady did.

Surya I am so happy that u felt all those emotions which i wanted to project dear. and u also write poems come on share it with me i woudl love to read.. no poem is less or more its perfect as it says the thoughts of an individual from the heart deep... for me ur poem surely must be special in every which way i see at it..

Glad that u liked it .. hope to share more.. and read from u too😃 thanks for ur lovely words of encoruagment .. tc

Bhoomi

Quote

Bhoomi

@bhoomikauttam

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: sumaiya wahid
Wow Bhoomi.....this was fabulous!!!! I actually donno how to say how much I luved it....the way u described the whole thing....I mean it was awesum n I'm totally speechless....and it certainly had a kinda of strength in the words....ahh...I cant describe wats that I felt....but it was simply beautiful. Loved it!!! I always knew u r a fabulous writer n ur poems r always amazing....n u always cum up wid the better of u....thanks for sharing this beautiful piece wid us!!! W8ing for more!!!

Hi Sumaiya,

Awww u loved it really thats makign me feel absolutely touched its among my most cherished ones too.. one of the NGO asked me to have its pritn out to keep on their board notice board and I gave them too as they were the ones who inspired me to write this one.. women at large when r lonely after an age and its like a retirmetn life nothign noone around.. they feel they dont need to live no excitment..even many of my old age uncle aunty say this..and i feel when u r alive there is a purpose in life..

Awww ur words made me feel so good as if my efforts in puttign my thoughts across is not a waste.. i dotn know i need to be assured i guess that i can still write be it stoires or poems or else i start gettign moody and leave few of my hobbies aside for a very loong time.. thanks for makign me get back to them Sumaiya.. all ur words helped me in it.. surely will share more of my work..adn i hope u like reading them.. luv u..

Bhoomi

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Bhoomi

@bhoomikauttam

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: sanju_veni
hey really touching poem i must say
u r really very talented writer
the poem reflects my life some way or the other
thanks for sharing it

HI,

Thanks for likign the poem.. i am not a poet and whatver thoughts i get I try to put in words it heals my heart somewhere.. i am glad that u liked it and enjoyed reading htem.. it reflects ur life.. wow..thats sounds so special.. hope u have a great life a great year with all that u want and wish for.. 😃 my pleasure to share my work here with awesome readers like u all here..

Bhoomi

Quote

Bhoomi

@bhoomikauttam

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: sri_4
Hey bhoomi
great poem,i feel u have described the whole life of a women in just a few lines...

we dedicate our full lives to our people we love n when they leave us n go to get their life,we start our journey alone again..but we still have the courage to start it afresh ,may be life would have taught it to us by then...

I realise that how much we ignore the presence of people now n repent for them later,,,

one more thing i really liked is u used the word "aaj",

i believe in philosophy live in present!!

and then the last lines..

Aaj Dil jawan hai, Kushi ki shaam hai,
'Aaj Main hoon' aur karna bahut kaam hai.

u deserve a 👏 👏 👏 👏

great one..waiting for other poems..

Happy new year 2010..

hope u have a great year ahead n we see more of u r work..

sri:-)

HI Sri,

Yes thats a special thign abt this one thats hwy started sharign this one before i post anythign else.. i dont know how i manged to rite this logn tiem back.. ehhehe. but i guess somewhere observation takes hold inside and soemwhere poems brign them out..

Yes its very true whatever one says in life many many occasions make us feel lonely though there may be many who love us but many whom we love and they havnt understood us.. in this journey as u say u need to remmeber u have a life ofr urselves and always give urself enough space in the busy life for sure..

Yes Sri, Aaj thats hwat we need to be concerned isntead of crygin for past adn fearign for future... glad u liked it.. Thanks Sri for readign these and comentign so beautifully everytime.. u have immensely encoraged my effort and my work.. it feles very special with all the love.. thank once again.. and surely u all become my inspiration for my future work.. 😃 .. a happy new year to u as well.. and yup 2010 i hope it brigns cheer happiness in all our lives ..with less hatred more love.. enjoy dear have a great year ahaead with loads of joy... more of my work?? heheh dont know.. hope u can read more of my poems for sure and stoires are half done dont know when i will complete them.. 😆

luv u

Bhoomi

Quote

Bhoomi

@bhoomikauttam

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: Divya_kaldivya
Hey Bhoomi.... That was an awesome poem.... Loved it to the core... Each and every line was perfect and the way you have put in was just MIND BLOWING..

Hi Divya,

We have read so many poems of mien and urs int he game..and so i know u to write nicely.. getting any compliment from u is a big thing for me.. good to now u have liked the poem.. perfect hehe i dotn know but i want that it shoudl be thougful and right in its perspective and ur coments make me feel it is.. thanks for ur lovely comments.. 😃

Bhoomi

Quote

Bhoomi

@bhoomikauttam

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: KehanT
bhoomi i dont think life cud be explained any better.

zindagi ka har pehlu, har woh morh bahut hi khoobsurati se likha hai aapne .

keep posting :)

Kanu

HI Kanu,

Good to get ur coments... aww u felt life was explained here niely thats a huge compliment thanks for giving it to me.. It made me feel awesome.. i hope i do write some more such poems as I have some splendid readers liek u ..😃thanks for makign me know how much u liked readin this piece. thanks... tc

luv

Bhoomi

Originally posted by: xoHarshaxo
Woow Yaar Awsomeeeeeee Job great poeeem Too GOood

Hi Harsha,

gettign a complimetn for u meansa lot..as i have read ur work and u r a good poet ... u have wodnerful way of puttign thoughts across so any compliment from u is makign em feel awesome..thansk for commentign and encoruagarign... tc

Bhoomi

Quote

Bhoomi

@bhoomikauttam

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 15 years ago

#17

Chuttaa Gharbaar, Pardes ke Uss Paar

Byaah Hua hai Babul Ka ghar chodd Ayee,
Piya sang Pardes mey Aakar ghrasti Basayee,

Aalishan Makaan, Saara Kaam Machine hai kartey,
Vatavaran Shaant, Chaudhe Raaste hain dikhatey,

Ravivaar Ko Sair Kar Saath Ghar Lautatey,
Daftar ke Logon ko Dawatpe Bulatey,

Kuch Din Badaa hi Achaa laga,
Kuch Mahiney baad Akelapan Dasaa,

Apney Kaam mey Piya wyast hai rehtey,
Mujhse batiyane ko Samay nahi hai kehtey,

Piya Maano Dollar kamaney Ki machine Bann Gaye,
Chutti ke Din daftrar ke Doston ke sath gupshup mey jamm gaye,

Apni chotti Si chotti Jaroorat ki kharidaari ke liye,
Sharma ati Piya ke aagey Mujhe Haath faiylane ke liye,

Tyohaaron ki ronak , Koi Utsav nahi Iss orr hai,
Bhavnao, Utsav ko wyaqt karna yehan maana jaata Shor hai,

Saara Din Akelee Ghar mein rehati,
Akeli kahin jaa ya tahal nahi sakti,

Ghar ki Safai, Khane ki tayaari,
Inn ke Agey nahi hai koi Duniya meri,

Anjaan shahar mein Dost kaise banengey,
Anchahey Iss Sabhyata se kaise Judengey,

Bacche ke Aney se Kahe piya Samay katt jayega,
Wah Anewala Mehmann Na jaane kab Aana chahega?

Piya Ab Maano Pyaar ki paribhasha Bhul gaye hain,
Kahtey hain Pyaar ke aajkal Daam ghatt gaye hain,

Piya Kahe pyaar Uncha nahi bowna hai,
Pyaar Saahasi nahi kamjor Banaataa hai,

Jaanu main pyaar Uncha Nichaa kaise ho sakta hai Pyaar ki koi seema nahi,
Jo swarth mein Vilieen ho wah pyaar ki taqat Jaanega hi nahi,

Shayad Piya ko kamm daam mein main Naukarani Mill gayi hun,
Jo chup rahe to daasi, dukhi rahe to aalsi aur bole to kanton si chubhti
hun,

Gharwalon ki Jo yaad hai Aati,
Meri Siski kewal deewarein hain Sunati,

Piya yehan ke dollar ko jeevan ki Punji maane,
Desh mey rehte akele maa baap ki khariyat yeh nahi jaane,

Muurkh Videsh mein naukari karne se Khudko Garv ka Paatra Maane,
Unko kartavya mukt karnewale gharwalon ke balidaan ko yeh nahi jaane,

Yeh Achaa hai yehan Videsh main koi kaam bada ya chotta nahi,
Mehnat karne se yehan Insaan katraata nahi,

Unchi Imaaratein, swachtaa yehan jaroor hai,
Meethe Rishte aur Pavitra sneh kosoo Durr hai,

Desh ke Log, jaat-paat ki ladaee mey faste dekha,
Pardes ke logon ko Rang bhed ki parchaee mein dasta dekha,

Inn salon, mahino, hafton,dinoo, shanno mein akele kitna kuch jhelaa hai,
Tanhaee mein khud ko jaanaa, kisipe bhi ab na bharosaa hai,

Sochne Aaj baithi Piya sang pardes main aakar kya paaya, kya Khoya hai,
Likh saki jo paaya wah bhavishya hai, jo khoya wah vartamaan hai,

Paaya Kaam to Khoye Rishte Tamaam,
Paya Naam to Khoya Armaan,

Paya Dollar to Khoya jeevan ki lehar hai,
Paya shourat to Khoya Ashishon ki barkat hai,

Paya jo wah haton ki reth ke samaan hai, Saath hamarey nahi rahega,
Khoya jo wah Amulya hai Jo hathon ko thaame Sath chalega,

Paya Woh dard bhari Haqequat hai,
Khoya jo woh Ek Sunder sapna hai,

Chutta Mera Ghar baar, Main Pardes ke Uss paar,
Na pyaar hai Na kar sakti Guhaar, hai kaisa mera Sansaar?

.....................................Bhoomikauttam

Quote

Mahak

@FragranceOfLove

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#18

di first of all.......i am so lucky to be the first one to comment again.......

somehow my luck supports me always.......

and yes u can write any type of poems.......i even love sad ones.....coz they r somewhat touching.....

i too have written many poems......some liners and some pagers......but none can be compared to urs....i love each line of urs.........

di this poem made me cry........this poem is simply too good.......its marvelous......i mean it tells us the sufferings of a girl who is in foreign country.....she is married even though she has got no support.....she is just like a servant........

and this also reminded me of a movie.......and u summed up the entire movie pretty well.....i had cried watching that movie.....and now this poem too made me cry.....

and ur lines r perfect....... marvelous work.......a girl only depends on her husband for support with change in traditions and country and culture......but when a husband too is like this.......thn it hurts her....for whom did she left her country? her people? her nation? her family!!!!!!!

'"Shayad Piya ko kamm daam mein main Naukarani Mill gayi hun,
Jo chup rahe to daasi, dukhi rahe to aalsi aur bole to kanton si chubhti
hun.""

di this line! god this line touched me a lot...........why do men forget that the females they have wedded are someone's daughters......they r ur soulmates and not ur servants......why do they think them indifferent???? i hate these people who married a girl and then leaves her like a dustbin in their house.......

this is a marvelous poem..........simple outstanding........ 👏 di u always touch my heart............. 👏 and the words u use r self explanatory..........👏 i will think that the things u do can never be copied.....👏 u r the best!!!!!!!! my favourite........👏 and i found this poem the best from ur lot.......becoz it somehow manages to tell the reality....👏 and i loved it!

thanks for writing such a piece of work which always inspires us.........loved it..............

Edited by mahaklovesmayur - 15 years ago

Quote

Sri

@RadiantTreasure

Dazzler

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

#19

hey bhoomi..

another great poem,,,u have penned down the feeling of a girl who got married n left her desh to go pardes..it surely remimded me of that movie..but still i feel u have summend up the whole story in just a few lines...alone,no one to support,new place,new changes n new country ,new traditions n culture,she only can expect from her husband - but hes too buys with his work n friends,shes alone again,but it made her realise her own self(@purple)..i liked that line apart from those i mentioned down...

i personally know may cases where the married women suffered a lot after going to abroad...many who never came back n still r suffering..

i really appreciate u because of the topic u choose to write these poem..,,they r real situations people face!!

i feel that u r poems are easy to understand hence simple but the message u give from them is enormous,it makes me realise life in different way again n again...i really thank u for writing such great poems...

Inn salon, mahino, hafton,dinoo, shanno mein akele kitna kuch jhelaa hai,
Tanhaee mein khud ko jaanaa, kisipe bhi ab na bharosaa hai,

Sochne Aaj baithi Piya sang pardes main aakar kya paaya, kya Khoya hai,
Likh saki jo paaya wah bhavishya hai, jo khoya wah vartamaan hai,

Paaya Kaam to Khoye Rishte Tamaam,
Paya Naam to Khoya Armaan,

great job!!!do continue u r poems n stories(half done no probs..hehe)!!!

and thanks for evertihing u said in before post for me..hope u have a grear yr!!!

good wishes..!!

sri:-)

Edited by sri_4 - 15 years ago

Quote

Sumi_162710

@Sumi_162710

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#20

Another brilliant one Bhoomi!!! Luved the way u wrote it n portrayed the whole thing. Even I luved these lines the most:

"Shayad Piya ko kamm daam mein main Naukarani Mill gayi hun,
Jo chup rahe to daasi, dukhi rahe to aalsi aur bole to kanton si chubhti
hun."

And hats off to u for this yaar....I mean....it has such a sensitive concept n u hav done it extremely well. Gr8 work!!!

Quote

1 2 3 4 5 ... 64

'Mom with U' ' Maa Oo Maa'page 80 - Page 2

Related Topics

Explore Topics