Seven Hues- A Drabble Series Complete Page 39

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: SherryGS
Green

Wow! The monsters in her head! That really stuck with me. Laila does live with demons. her old Rudra related well to her. She is so terrified of being alone in her hell.

I am so amazed at the talent that allows writers like you to evoke such emotion in people like me using so few words. ⭐️ Thank you. I know I will enjoy this series.

Sherry-Sa, you always have these beautiful beautiful comments that make me feel so amazing!

Thank you so much for always commenting on my works!

Yeah, and Laila prefers the monsters and the devil because she herself doesn't really want to leave the darkness. Which would have made me feel sorry once upon a time. But no more now.

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: What_the
Haaye!!
So excited!!!!
Navarasas ke saath now we have Satrangi also!!

So many new stories to read...

Happy-wala dance!

I just loved the way you drew upon the significance of the green saree, in the haldi scene were Laila was consumed by jealousy...
I don't think even the CVs had made the connection, the green saree was probably a coincidence..

The green of the saree, the green-eyed monster...perfect!

And the last part...the devil in him and the monsters in her head...wow! That was superb! A brilliant thought...

I keep writing this about all drabble-writers - AngelTeen, TattleTale and now you!
Kudos!! The amount of emotion you convey in such few words...it takes immense talent!

Drabble on baisa! This is just awesome!

Love
what_the

PS: Thank you for the PM 😛

Haahaahaa Maya! Satrangi?? I louu the name! Also, I am pretty sure everyone in Navras would be super amazing! I just can't wait myself!

Yeah actually.. Even I think that the green was a coincidence. Or maybe the CVs were referring to the purity of green associated to Paro.

But when green was being discussed, jealousy was what struck as she has made a reappearance in RR.

And thank you.. the last two lines were completely random and I am so happy to see the response to them!

I have been drabbling for quite a few time. But as everything is difficult on PaRud, drabbles on them are bloodsucking at times as well.

Thank you for leaving such sincere and amazing reviews everytime, Maya-Sa!

🤗

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: tic-tac
WoW!!!! That was so beautiful...
You know, actually I like drabbles...limited words but all said aptly...

I love this drabble...and hope you will continue further...will be waiting for red color😉 that's my favorite...but I don't know you will describe that color in romantic way or rage.

Will wait to know that

Sambhavi...

Sambhavi-Sa, I think I haven't said this enough times. Your Ansh TS was amazing!!! And now I want PaRud to have a "Pooh Pooh" karne wala pyaara baccha soon! 😆

I'll give you a spoiler. Red will be the last color. Atleast that way, I'll have you hanging around with me till then! 😉

Thank you!

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: HappilyLost
That was pretty awesome. I am amazed how you kneaded the sentences into a complete riot of emotions within 200 words!!.Green and envy perfectly match each other. I so love this idea of colors and the emotions they play out.
Firstly a big Thank you to couch potato ( don't know her name!!) for coming up with such a great yet challenging idea. And then secondly, I am thoroughly impressed with the way you took it forward.
You are an amazing writer baisa and i would definitely look out for more of your works desperately.
Also it would be interesting to watch how this series unfold as well.
And yes you totally nailed Laila's character!!

P.S have you read sweet evil by wendy higgins by any chance??

Awww Thanks so much HappilyLost-sa (Can I know your name?)

Her name is Kashish.. or KD.. Whichever you want. She writes too waise! :P

And your comment has made me all giggly. Imma gonna give you a sloppy kiss Baisa. Please accept! 😆

Also, no. I haven't read Sweet Evil. Why?

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: MissAsian
Such a beautiful piece of drabble
the best lines:
She wanted her Rudra back. She wanted her devil back to play with the monsters in her head.

Thank you Baisa!

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: Couch_Potato
biwi-res. <3

First just so I can remind you and the rest of the world that is looking at me with accusing eyes can know, I am typing this with henna covered hands and there are bits of mehendi falling all over my mac. And thats not very pretty. Okay now on the the next thing, lets get two things settled here and now. 1. I have the bestest ideas ever! 2. You are the bestest writer ever! Good now that we have that out of the way too, on to Green.

I have said this various various times before, and I say it again. You have the best end lines I have ever read on IF. And you know exactly what my weakness is and with these last two lines you just nailed it. I love love love how she is jealous of this special side of his that comes out with her but she isn't really jealous of Paro. How she doesnt want him to dress her up but all she wants is his attention, the way he had given it to her before. I dont think I'm making any sense here but basically she doesnt want to emulate Paro, she wants to be Laila, as she is and she wants Rudra to go back to his old ways and be happy enough with it again as he was before. There I said it. But umm yes this. I just love those last two lines soo much but especially the last bit because it's so true. He is her escape and that is why she's drawn to him time and again. Her bright light at the end of the tunnel and even though it might be an on-coming train, it's still something to come back to instead of the dark oblivion.

Okay I'm done now and sorry I rambled so much. I'm exhausted and sleepy and my mac is getting henna streaked.

First of all. You know this. You should have written this series because the way you said that Laila doesn't want to be Paro.. She wants to be herself yet wants the type of behavior Rudra does to Paro with her. Which even I hadn't thought out clearly. You are the one who did! WHY ARE YOU NOT WRITING THIS!

Plus, where do you come up with stuff like on-coming train and dark oblivion when you are so sleepy?? How?

Also, agreed that you have the bestest ideas ever but nope. Not the bestest writer wala part. Have you seen the people who write on this forum?? Have you seen your own series?? You won, remember??

And I'll confess. I write the last lines for you biwi. Coz I love you so.

Sorry for making your mac greenish orange.

Edited by _SenbonZakura_ - 11 years ago

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Ankita

@_SenbonZakura_

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#47

Blue

The skies. The skies had definitely changed color since she came into his life.

But what he felt when he looked at her was far from the clarity of the blue skies that the desert was so used to.

No. She looked more like the beautiful mirage he saw every second day, travelling on the barren sands, patrolling.

Every time he would look at her, even for fleeting seconds, he'd feel it all to be too surreal to exist.

He'd be reminded of how mirages worked.

How the glistening blue of water would just appear out of nowhere, giving you promises of quenching your parched throat and relieving you of the burn inside your body.

Yet, as soon as you would reach it and try to touch it, the blue of it all would just disappear, mocking you. Regarding you a complete fool for even believing in the first place that such serene blue could exist.

That she could exist.

Maybe he was in some deep slumber, or Coma from a war, and his mind was dreaming about the existence of a woman so beautiful, divine and perfect like her.

It was all a vivid dream, where he would be allowed to drink her in as much as he would want, to satiate the thirst that he had been nursing for a lifetime.

Edited by _SenbonZakura_ - 11 years ago

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Kashish

@Couch_Potato

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

#48

Res

unres.

Do cheezain toh decided hain. 1. I dont unres unless blackmailed and 2. you write the best drabbles ever.

I am super sleepy, again. And the entire imagery of this was so arresting, so alluring, I could almost see that glazy haze you get in front of your eyes from the heat when the mirage appears. I love how nothing is the same ever since she has come. How even the most mundane things, most obvious things feel different. How the change is within but is reflected outside. That's the magic with your drabbles. A few lines pack sooo many emotions and feelings inside. A few simple words strung together just create these contrasts that leave one gaping. I love how there is a direct connect to him being like the desert and her, her blue isnt like that of the sky, nothing like he is used to.

I love these lines:

The skies. The skies had definitely changed color since she came into his life.

But what he felt when he looked at her was far from the clarity of the blue skies that the desert was so used to.

and then this:

He'd be reminded of how mirages worked.

This particular one I think would stay with me for a while just because I know the story behind it, the emotions, the fears, the trepidation. How not knowing and living with a lie or an illusion is better than to be confronted by a bitter truth. How a broken man thinks twice before he dares to dream again. And then the ending, oh the ending. I love how he tries desperately to rationalise it. How that is exactly how he would quieten his soul, the tried and tested excuses.

where he would be allowed to drink her in as much as he would want, to satiate the thirst that he had been nursing for a lifetime.

And I know I have never said this about anyone of your works before but I love love love the use of the word ALLOWED. I think it speaks volumes of who he is and what he believes himself to be and his views on fate and everything. It's like he believes he deserves to die of thirst and he deserves this life.

I'm sorry for being weird and strange. Like I said I'm sleepy and this is super awesome. Also just on a side note, I have been singing blue hai paani paani in my head for a while now. Aap awesome ho Shrimati jee.

Edited by Couch_Potato - 11 years ago

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Aishwarya

@Aish002

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#49

res...😉

EDIT:

ok..first things first..the idea of having the mirage/water to represent blue...ah--mmazing...!!..Brilliant comparison..👏

mirage = Paro fits in from Rudra's P.O.V..because tender feelings of love and care that shows him are completely alien to him..and that makes it too hard for him to believe that she exists..

loved this one...😊

Edited by Aish002 - 11 years ago

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asmi279

@asmi279

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#50

Ws waiting fr kd to res first..unka haq hai :D

ab my res

-----------------

unres..

hai baisa..wen I read the color of the day, I ws sure it ws gonna b abt paro n bholenath n rukmini...bt u completely took me by surprise...I hd never thot abt wat this beautiful color wd mean fr rudra...amazing amazing take baisa!!

Edited by asmi279 - 11 years ago

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Seven Hues- A Drabble Series Complete Page 39 - Page 5

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