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Sunara

@princessunara

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 11 years ago

Don't take me to be heartless.. I do understand that to have a broken family is very harsh.. I have very close friends who come from broken families.
And I have an example much closer to home where 2 of my 2nd cousins had their parents split when they were 1 & 10. And their dad left them n went to America with his new wife n till date those kids have never seen him.. They know that he has 2 new kids n is very happy there and has completely abandoned them without any support nothing! And they were moved from an extremely wealthy lifestyle to one where they had to make ends meet cz the rich daddy left nothing behind. And that 10 year old is now 25. And that one still remembers her daddy, still misses him, still is angry with her father mother n the half brothers she knows she has.. still is sad.. BUT she gets on with life and now as an adult is over with it. She is getting on with her life.
So let's keep that aside for now.

And well this Indian show portrayal of men crying as if the world ended right now due to something that happened 10-15 yrs back is ridiculous! I mean sure u feel sad.. u always are bitter. But for gods sake u r a damn adult now!
I am not belittling the pain, just this stupid portrayal in Indian soaps and milking sympathy for that is utter rubbish! I mean with the way these men bawl 'maaa' and go to flashback making it seem as if it happened yesterday! When in actuality the pain and suffering of the female leads r current. RIGHT now!
Not to forget that in almost all the instances i have watched the female lead has been dealt with a much more cruel complete loss in comparison in childhood too! But their pain and suffering, that loss nothing is given importance and we women too completely feel oh so sad for the crying man!

I mean.. his mom left him to elope with another man (as far as he knows) and his bitter father brought him up, who apparently removed him as soon as possible from the vitriolic environment.. it might not have been a perfect life..

Now compare it to Paro! Lost both parents.. And at a much younger age. (they clarified the ages she was 6 when she suffered the loss n he was abt 10-13 i think) She might have been brought up among love, but she always knew that she was an orphan.. knew she couldn't change the designs of the house without taking permission cz she knew that for all the love, she was living on charity.. she always yearned to belong to someone cz she always FELT she didn't belong!
Now wherein the guy had his own father! he never felt like a charity case.

I am jsut equaling the scales of the past so that to show both have different tragedies shaping them.

And now add to it what he, BSD, Thakur and life has cost her jsut within the month that just passed. And well i think its bloody unfair that the CVs r portraying this unrealistic 'maa' chant again n again with men!

Seriously watching these hindi soaps i have sworn off mummy's boys when i am looking for a husband one day!!

Not meant to offend.. but seriously think about what u will do if u find a 28 year old man in real life bawling his eyes out over the fact that his mummy left him and went with another man 15 yrs back!

UPDATE :
Guys sorry if u felt offended. I wanted to generalize but not compare outright as its not allowed on this forum. And i wanted to discuss about the portrayal on screen rather than actual comparison of pain. but the portrayal of both in comparison. It probably didn't come off well.
Anyway again sorry if any1 was offended.

I am adding another line here as someone advised me as most people r not understanding what this post is about!

I AM talking of the script and screenplay and NOT comparing character misery. cz characters misery cannot be compared! This is about the screenplay n the writing of the show!

So read it again and respond to what is written and not to what u think its about!

Edited by princessunara - 11 years ago

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Skyfall

@Skyfall

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

I understand where you are coming from,

However I think what CV's are trying to portray is that Rudra never accepted or dealt with what happened, ever.

I personally believe that at whatever age it is, something like a parent leaving you and you not dealing with it can do some psychological harm (no matter the age) therefore for him to cry about all the reminders of his mother is normal.

You have to understand that it is his grief over his loss of his mother that is the crux of the story.

Obviously in comparison to real life, indian shows are too far fetched etc..

Edited by Skyfall - 11 years ago

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CravingKhana

@CravingKhana

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Not that I fancy the portrayals...and yes I had a few good times with MAaa (who am I kidding I still do)...but there is a difference in reaction...and Rudra has been shown to have shut down since the incident and that it haunts him. SO i dotn think it was portrayed all that badly.

Paro did lose her parents quite young which makes all the difference in some cases cos the teen yrs the disgrace the anger the displacement and the inability for men to break down in public adds up to a teen that never grew up and adult that is tortured...

we now have ppl making millions in the name of therapy working out child hood issues ...much less than this...

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Shreya Patel

@spate22

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

Well, I blame his dad!! He did not comfort his child when she left!! Instead he drank, and showed him the harshness of reality!! But his mother isn't dead either!! So, that makes it worse!! All he knows is that she left him!!

Shreya

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Sunara

@princessunara

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: Skyfall
I understand where you are coming from,

However I think what CV's are trying to portray is that Rudra never accepted or dealt with what happened, ever.

I personally believe that at whatever age it is, something like a parent leaving you and you not dealing with it can do some psychological harm (no matter the age) therefore for him to cry about all the reminders of his mother is normal.

I understand where you are coming from since he is a 28 year old man and his 'excessive' crying is being exaggerated but I just think that Cv's are doing it because it's the crux of the story.

Obviously in comparison to real life, indian shows are too far fetched etc..

the issue here is they exaggerate his side when it should have been MUCH less!! and ignore hers almost completely!
Today was one rare scene they started off with for Paro.. and 2 days back a tiny bit of flashbacks of her other wedding day.. I mean if they want to exaggerate why not do both.. so i am actually feeling kinda ridiculous rather than empathy/sympathy as i should be feeling for him!

Edited by princessunara - 11 years ago

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FascinatingSanz

@FascinatingSanz

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

Ditto

you said it all dear 👍🏼

So all i have to tell Rudra is get over it! it has been bloody 15 yrs!! 🥱

Not meant to offend.. but seriously think about what u will do if u find a 28 year old man in real life bawling his eyes out over the fact that his mummy left him and went with another man 15 yrs back!

I am so fed up 🥱

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Tanisha99

@Tanisha99

Explorer

Posted: 11 years ago

One famous saying is there.. "jis par bit ta hain sirf wohi janta hain".. merely matter whether 15 days or 15 years...

Rudra's feeling is more realistic unlike other heroic male lead.. moreover he has no good reason to get over his pain.. its still there..

Edited by Tanisha99 - 11 years ago

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Sunara

@princessunara

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: CravingKhana
Not that I fancy the portrayals...and yes I had a few good times with MAaa (who am I kidding I still do)...but there is a difference in reaction...and Rudra has been shown to have shut down since the incident and that it haunts him. SO i dotn think it was portrayed all that badly.
Paro did lose her parents quite young which makes all the difference in some cases cos the teen yrs the disgrace the anger the displacement and the inability for men to break down in public adds up to a teen that never grew up and adult that is tortured...

we now have ppl making millions in the name of therapy working out child hood issues ...much less than this...

sigh i am annoyed mostly that they make that so big n make Paro's suffering seem less when its actually the other way around!

Anyway i think more than the situation i am fed up of the portrayals.. that was what i was trying to tell.. emotions r ok.. showing it is also fine.. but NOT this OTT way! I just cannot connect due to my skepticism of the manner of portrayal!

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prettypri

@prettypri

Rocker

Posted: 11 years ago

Honestly I don't agree completely with your viewpoint.

If you know where your parent went and why you could probably reconcile but in this case his mother abandoned him and he doesn't know why...she didn't tell him she was going away and in such a case the child automatically blames himself!

Given a father like Dilsher and all the taunts he must have heard as a child and the fact that his hope that his mother would come for him was cruelly dashed I think all this leaves an everlasting impression!

And he is not moping about it all the time is he,,,,something has triggered the flashback all the times he has cried!

And frankly in Paros case also she has nightmares still about her parents doesn't she...but she knows what happened to them and that they didn't leave her and go!!!she doesn't hate them or feel betrayed by them...in her case it's sadness that she lost them..!

For a guy who loves his mother but has to deal with feelings of hatred and abandonment at the same time it is worse...it doesn't matter what the gender is when it comes to such feelings!

You can say they should show more of Paros pain and that's fine but to say Rudra should get over it is a bit harsh!

My POV again...no offence meant...😊

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Sunara

@princessunara

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 11 years ago

#10

Originally posted by: Tanisha99
One famous saying is there.. "jis par bit ta hain sirf wohi janta hain".. merely matter whether 15 days or 15 years...
Rudra's feeling is more realistic unlike other heroic male lead..

is the portrayal equally good? that is what i am asking. this glorification of that one side by the shows? i am honestly fed up!