Redemption - Qubool Nahain Hai

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maana

@maana

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#51

Originally posted by: Laila2009

This was a perfect chance to educate the public - a brilliant opportunity to show redemption - it could have had offered to much to the public and I would have been writing at least a praise worthy post, but as a professional in this field, I can't. It is sorely disappointing.

Exactly!! I know the show is 4 entertainment but still it should not be preaching wrongs.

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maana

@maana

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#52

I personally would never look back at such a man no matter how hot he may b. A guy who does not respect ladies is definitely not a perfect guy.

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nikolai_gogol

@nikolai_gogol

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#53

Originally posted by: maana

Exactly!! I know the show is 4 entertainment but still it should not be preaching wrongs.

Agree. I'm a shallow viewer give me a shallow story. Dont go where you cant give justice to the material at hand. Its okay to not preach anything but atleast dont show wrong.

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adeeti10

@adeeti10

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#54

Just watched the episode Laila.

I'm not surprised... This is going exactly how Ms. Khan's other show went.

My thoughts

Asad: abuser?

He probably doesn't even know it... But he's exhibiting the signs. Only having lived in Indis, no one told him it was unacceptable.

Red flags:

1. Bad temper

2. Tendency to break objects in frustration (phone incident)

3. Pushing and shoving. For example, an abuser may hold a victim against the wall and say, "You're going to listen to me."

4. Self centredness: An expectation of being the centre of attention, having his needs anticipated. May not support or listen to others.

5. Externalises responsibility for actions: blames it on other factors like stress, frustration, etc.

6. Tendency to say hurtful things with no regard for other's feelings

7. The need to control, be in charge

Zoya: low self esteem?

Not really. She doesn't exhibit the signs.

Behaviours of someone with low self esteem - found online...

1 – Nasty sarcasm

2 – Bullying

3 – Not being direct in conversation, and at the same time having no tack

4 – Indecisiveness

5 – Thinking you know everything

6 – Being a perfectionist

7 – None or not much eye contact when talking to others

8 – Being too loud and over talkative (jabbering on)

9 – Sniping about other people all the time, behind their backs

10 – Lack of inner-stability and calmness

11 – Making weak-minded excuses

12 – Getting a job for the sake of it- where power over others is needed

13 – Self-medicating with spending (a sign of low self-worth)

14 – Being generally jealous of others all the time.

15 – Constant feeling of insecurity.

16 – Feeling like being judged all the time and unable to cope with small problems.

17 – Nit picking at others / destructive criticism towards other

18 – Having an inferiority complex / always feeling small

20 – Lack of self-liking / love

21 - Passive aggression

22 - sloughed "poor me" posture with forward head

Seems like Asad has some of these traits! Poor Asad... He's flawed.

But Zoya isn't. She's just a nice, optimistic positive girl who doesn't realise he's being emotionally and physically abusive towards her.

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maana

@maana

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#55

Originally posted by: nikolai_gogol

<div></div>Since I'm a girl the main attraction for me in a love story is the hero. I need to like him so I'm gonna forget the abuse happened and Asad is the hero with a dark past whom I can still like😳😆

i can never 4get the slap n will continue watching the show 4 Zoya's journey

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nikolai_gogol

@nikolai_gogol

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#56

Originally posted by: maana
I personally would never look back at such a man no matter how hot he may b. A guy who does not respect ladies is definitely not a perfect guy.

I wouldn't take time to put as much distance between him and me as possible. Wouldn't even try to explain my side of story. He's not worth it. It's okay to be not be a perfect guy but this is unaceeptable!

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Laila Banu

@Laila2009

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#57

Originally posted by: adeeti10

Zoya: low self esteem?
Not really. She doesn't exhibit the signs.

Behaviours of someone with low self esteem - found online...
- Thinking you know everything
- Being too loud and over talkative (jabbering on)
But Zoya isn't. She's just a nice, optimistic positive girl who doesn't realise he's being emotionally and physically abusive towards her.

here are only two traits where I can see Zoya fitting - so you are right there...I like your description and I am going to agree with it..so if I said she lacks self-esteem, then I am wrong there...and tragically Zoya is like many nice young girls who don't realize what is going on here..

Sad.

As for Asad, wow, some very good examples...and all of this is very scary. 😕

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nikolai_gogol

@nikolai_gogol

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#58

Originally posted by: adeeti10
Just watched the episode Laila.

I'm not surprised... This is going exactly how Ms. Khan's other show went.

My thoughts

Asad: abuser?

He probably doesn't even know it... But he's exhibiting the signs. Only having lived in Indis, no one told him it was unacceptable.

Red flags:

1. Bad temper

2. Tendency to break objects in frustration (phone incident)

3. Pushing and shoving. For example, an abuser may hold a victim against the wall and say, "You're going to listen to me."

4. Self centredness: An expectation of being the centre of attention, having his needs anticipated. May not support or listen to others.

5. Externalises responsibility for actions: blames it on other factors like stress, frustration, etc.

6. Tendency to say hurtful things with no regard for other's feelings

7. The need to control, be in charge

Seems like Asad has some of these traits! Poor Asad... He's flawed.

But Zoya isn't. She's just a nice, optimistic positive girl who doesn't realise he's being emotionally and physically abusive towards her.

I'm impressed. How long did it take you to search. 5 min? ,10 min? couldn't the makers do that atleast? unless they are trying to show Asad as an abusive personality, then they r doing a fab job.

Edited by nikolai_gogol - 12 years ago

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Laila Banu

@Laila2009

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#59

no-one should feel guilty if they continue to watch as long as we are in agreement what we saw was wrong and the redemption track was a complete disaster. i don't think I would judge anyone here if this was their choice. that's not my goal here. I just would not recommend it to anyone anymore...that's all. so please folks - if you do continue to watch - don't feel you have to apologize or owe an explanation to anyone. 😊

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Laila Banu

@Laila2009

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#60

Originally posted by: nikolai_gogol

I'm impressed. How long did it take you to search. 5 min? ,10 min? couldn't the makers do that atleast? unless they are trying to show Asad as an abusive personality, then they r doing a fab job.

That is my point...it is tragically what I see all too often..."I know better." I have friends who when they write spend one year doing research, they travel, they simply have notes only on research...for the shortest of story...