"LIFE'''such an unpredictable journey which no one knows where it will lead you to in very next moment''.. It have both dark or sorrow site and other one happy site''' Everyone in their lifetime would always to have happy site, I am also one of those person who want to live happily''. But I guess God never want me to be happy that's why he has given me the darkest and sorrowest site of life''.. I want to live my life happily with the ones whom I know or those who know me''. But unfortunately it is not possible till I remember anything or anyone from my past''. It has been totally one year that I am struggling from this phase of my life''.. People surrounding me always try to make remember even something or someone from my past but not even glimpse of my past or else a person is known to me now'' Only faded image of a person is seen and I'm struggling a lot to know who is that person but I'm always in it'' When I tell it to my brother he always gets upset and never answers my question, he always diverts it by saying that don't give so much pressure to ur brain''. I don't know whats wrong'' Leave about that person, my own brother is not known to me that much how much I should know him''.. He takes care of so much so that he will never let anything happen to me''. Even though he is hurt from inside that I don't remember him still that much, but still he never show it infront of me''.. That one person, I don't know why but I feel like he is most important part of my life''but I don't know who he is'' I have a feeling that that person is he only(means that person is a man only)''' I want my life back , I want my past back, I cant take it anymore, daily struggling from it''. It would be better to die than to live such a disgusting life''.."
A girl sitting on her bed was writing all these in her diary while sobbing. She don't know what to do to bring her past back. From past one year she is struggling. She is forcing her mind to remember due to which sometimes it caused serious for her. Sometimes she feel like her life is useless so she had tried many a times to take her life but it was impossible for her to do so till her brother is there with her. He don't want to lose her again. Once he had lost her after that incident which took her memory away but now he cant, he cant afford to lose his sister. She closed her diary and sat there for sometime lost in her thoughts and crying.
After sometime she kept her diary inside her cupboard and went to washroom. She washed her face so that it couldn't be seen by her bhai or bhabhi that she was crying but it is always seen in her face that she is sad, she is sad with her present situation. They two also cant do anything as they know if they will make her remember sometime or ask her to put force on her mind to remember then they can lose her, which they cant afford cause she plays a very important role in their life. Cause of her only they both became one and are together now. They both are hurt that she don't remember them but what can they do its her condition. They know that their hurt is less than hers so they don't show her their hurt faces infront of her and make her feel guilty.
She came out of her room getting freshed and went to her bhai and bhabhi and told them that she is going for a walk. They also agreed for it cause they know that from the condition she is going she really want to have alone time. They cant ask her to be at home as its night cause once they did it and she really cant be normal at that time it made her condition bad. So they agreed but they asked her not to go so far and be at home early. She agreed to them and went out for a walk. It would be just a walk for them and for us, but for her it was a soul-less and life-less walk like she don't know where her destination is and for whom and why she is living.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she unknowingly walked for a long distance, talking to herself, trying to recall her past in which she failed from past one year. While walking she talked to her God and cried'..
"Krishnaji maine aisa kya kiya jo aap mujhe itni badi saja de rahe ho'?? Kyun mukje aap meri zindagi vapas nahi de dete?? kyun mujhe aap sab yaad nahi dila dete taki main apne bhai aur bhabhi ko aur hurt na kar sakun ?? Bhale hi aap mere liye ye sab na kare par atleast mere bhai aur bhabhi ko to khush rakhne ke liye meri memory mereko wapas de dijiye'..Main aur nahi reh pa rahi hun aise'..mujhe aisi zindagi nahi cahiye Krishnaji jisme main hi nahi balki sab hurt ho vo bhi meri vajah se'..main iss guilt ke saath nahi jee paungi god plzzz''plzzz help'..me to remember my past'."
She said all this while sobbing badly'.she walked for few more distance and saw a sitting area inside a tree so went there and sat'..after few minutes it started raining'TIP TIP'.few drops fall on her hand, she thought it would be from the leaves and again went to her thoughts and now very deeply in her thoughts that she dint know that it started raining badly'.TIP TIP TIP TIP TIP TIP'''.now she was totally wet but dint came back to her sense or u can say she dint want to'.
Here Swayam and Sharon(yes guyzz they are only bhai and bhabhi who were mentioned before) were totally worried that it had started raining badly and Taani(and yes guyzz the girl was Taani only'..I know u all know it but still wanted to inform) is not back to home yet'"Sharon mujhe ab tension ho raha hai ki Taani kaisi hai??? Vo ab tak ghar kyun nahi aayi????"Swayam said totally worried and pacing back and forth in living room'.."Swayam calm down vo aa jayegi'.ho sakta hai ki vo calthe chalet thoda door chali gayi ho is liye ina time lagya ho'..so plzzz wait for sometime and calm down"Sharon said assuring that she would be fine but she was also worried that why is she not home yet'."I guess u are right'let us wait for 5 min if she don't come I'll go and see for her"Swayam said undersyanding Sharon's point'"Yaa"Sharon said looking at door waiting for Taani'..
Now its totally 10 minutes over and Taani is not yet back and now they both are totally worried'."Sharon now its very late I think I have to go out and see for Taani'"Swayam said getting ready for going'..he took his keys and was about to go and was the door when Sharon said "wait Swayam I'll also come with u'..mujhe bhi ab Taani ki bahut chinta ho rahi hai.. "'."No Sharon tum yahi rukho aur ansh(Swayam and Sharon's son about 2 year old) ka khyal rakho'.ek toh vo chota hai aur agar hum dono hi chale jayenge toh uska kon khyal rakhega'.so u be at home I'll take care of Taani u don't worry"He said assuring her that Taani will be fine'She nodded her head but still she was worried for her'Swayam went from there and started searching for Taani all over in rain'.He searched for 15 minutes but he dint found her and at last he passed through the place where Taani was sitting in her deep thoughts all wet'.He saw her in that condition and become sad'.Soon he came out of his car went to her and shock her "Taani(no response)'.Taani(again no response)''TAANI'."now she came back to her senses and saw her bhai there and then she felt that it was raining badly'."sorry bhai mujhe pata hi nai chala kab barish girna start ho gaya" she said this while tears made her way out through her cheeks but were mixed with the rain drops on her face''Swayam saw her eyes it was visible that she is still struggling to get her past, he felt sad for her'."listen Taani tum buri tarah se bhig chuki ho so jaldi chalo aura b barish bhi aur jyada teez hone vali hai so come lets go fast'."he said in a little loud voice as the sound of falling rain wont let his low voice to get to Taani's ears'.She noded her head and went with him'.they sat in car and drove off to their home''through out the whole journey to their house Taani was quite and seeing her silence and her sad face he felt like something pointed had hurt his heart, like it felt to him from past one year seeing her face but he is helpless to her cause if he will try to make remember anything he can lose her'..
Soon they reached their home and went inside''Sharon saw Taani that she was totally soaked in rain and her were full of pain''she felt bad for her condition'..she went and brought two towels for them , one she gave it to Swayam and then went to Taani and started drying her through the towel'..Taani was sitting on her couch'.After drying her Sharon made her to eat something and take her medicines'..After taking her medicines she sat there like that only, now Sharon and Swayam saw her and then looked at each other and felt like to talk to her so they called her'.She looked at them and was not able to control her tears so started crying'..seeing her like that Sharon went and sat beside her and tried to console her'.."Kyun bhabhi '.kyun mere saath hi aisa ho raha hai???kyun main kuch yaad nahi kar pa rahi hun???main toh''aa'.. aap dono'' ko bhi pehchan nahi pai thi aur shayad''. ab bhi nahi''pehchan pa rahi hun'..mujhe pata hai'.mujhe pata hai ki aap dono bahut hurt ho ki'.ki aap log mujhe yaa'..yaad nahi par main kya kar sakti hun bhabhi'..maine bahut try kiya yaad karne ko'.par'.par nahi ho pa raha'..I'm sorry bhabhi main bahut buri hun na'.I'm really sorry''"now she starting sobbing badly and seeing her they both also had tears in their eyes'"Shut up Taani'..tum buri nahi ho balki tum bahut achi ho'..tumhe pata hai aaj main aur tumhare bhai ek saath hai toh vo sirf tumhari vajah se''agar'agar tumhe kuch yaad nahi hai toh kya huva tum hamare saath toh ho na'.hame bas yehi chahiye'..plzz tum kabhi bhi apne aap ko blame maat karna''hum nahi she payenge''u are very important for us so plzzz stop blaming urself'."Sharon said all this cupping her face and wipping her tears and at last hugged her tightly''..Taani also hugged her tightly, Swayam was not able to see his sister crying like this so he went from there to terrace'..after few minutes Sharon took Taani to her room and made her sleep'..confirming that she had slept she went from her room switching off the lights'.
So here Chapter 1 ends...plzzz do like and comment...
Anupamaa
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