papaG & yuvi: adult child-parent conflict; am my own person - Page 4

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

yea, poor yuvi right? it does sound like adi got praised regardless of what he did except for his marriage with katha. but now that he is dead, he has become even more golden in memory as angelic noted. so even the stuff where adi may have gotten wrong is completely forgotten.

but in regards to whether it would make a difference between a single child and one with siblings, there are still parents out there who feel disappointed with their only child. in some cases, the single child feels more pressure to perform and if they are average and cannot fulfill the parents dreams, then it becomes harder.

I have heard of cases where the guy did engineering to please his folks but after working for a bit, took off in completely different tangents such as photography, traveling, cooking etc. at that point, the guy had his own money and was not dependent on them and felt free to do career stream he liked. and these were only child. after some teething, the parents also accepted the change in career.

yuvi seems like a nice guy but he is not suited to running a hotel or working under papaG. they might be better hiring an actual manager to run the place while yuvi pursues something on his own.

Agreed that being a single can have a lot of pressure to perform for parents... They always would be like we want you to achieve great things and make us proud...

Any of you remember the movie Chhichhore?? That told us that what happens at end is not important, rather the process and being a part of it is..

And also being a single child leads to child being so much pampered too that when he/she leaves home in real world... It becomes so difficult... I know because I had a batchmate who was a single child and would start to cry for even small things and would always act like she needs someone... Many a times call her parents and they would reach college to meet her and all .. Now, for her, her parents are always like do whatever you want and we'll be happy for you... In this case, they don't bother much on what their child is doing...

But if you take the case of multiple children, although parents love their every children but rarely all siblings are similar, mostly they would be different like some good and something and someone at another... And the parents often have their own definition of successful set as per the society and hence the one performing in accordance to that definition would be more talked about rather that the one not doing it ..

They might not realise how the other child might be going through because of all this because that's what India is... It's less common to have these things talked about openly here...

In the show too, yuvraj isn't entirely wrong... I mean he knows that there are people at home and so he is at work so that he can be responsible and share responsibilities too, he might not be smart enough like adi to excel at everything but he does try hard from his own side to to whatever he is doing good... Like the one where he was changing vendor, ofcourse he didn't see the long term consequences of it but he does had the idea of saving money and using it for something else in the business itself...

Besides he is good at heart and knows that katha never had intention of entering house and taking over, but he got so toxic partner who now I think married him just for money... Previously someone said that maybe that's what she saw while getting older that she is looking at everyone the same way... And hence judging katha... And is also not ready to accept what yuvraj is saying... Rather she will just use him as her punching bag to let out her frustration... So, yes, adi being better that yuvraj has caused so much pressure on him and although he tries, no one cares enough to see it.

Originally posted by: Viaanrocks

Adding to that as per the precap on sonytv live, PapaG is telling mamaG that katha will be 1000 times better than Yuvraj in handling business and reet overheard 😆

well viaan and katha have to fall in love. so she is not going to head over to papaG's hotel anytime soon. but it seems that we have one more person on the "katha is awesome" bandwagon -- viaan, ehsaan, all these people in office and now papaG. makes me wonder why she had to lie about her status to get job at earthcon if she was so talented.

still, poor yuvi. I guess that is why they are showing us the Gfamily dynamics are all over the place. it is going to affect katha and aarav as well.

but yes, I don't want yuvi hating katha -- he actually seems like a nice bloke for the most part. rather easy going and trying his best.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

well viaan and katha have to fall in love. so she is not going to head over to papaG's hotel anytime soon. but it seems that we have one more person on the "katha is awesome" bandwagon -- viaan, ehsaan, all these people in office and now papaG. makes me wonder why she had to lie about her status to get job at earthcon if she was so talented.

still, poor yuvi. I guess that is why they are showing us the Gfamily dynamics are all over the place. it is going to affect katha and aarav as well.

but yes, I don't want yuvi hating katha -- he actually seems like a nice bloke for the most part. rather easy going and trying his best.

When Kathaa and Araav were alone they were so happy only issue was his sickness and finance ,but now looks like they are in a whirl.

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

yea, poor yuvi right? it does sound like adi got praised regardless of what he did except for his marriage with katha. but now that he is dead, he has become even more golden in memory as angelic noted. so even the stuff where adi may have gotten wrong is completely forgotten.

but in regards to whether it would make a difference between a single child and one with siblings, there are still parents out there who feel disappointed with their only child. in some cases, the single child feels more pressure to perform and if they are average and cannot fulfill the parents dreams, then it becomes harder.

I have heard of cases where the guy did engineering to please his folks but after working for a bit, took off in completely different tangents such as photography, traveling, cooking etc. at that point, the guy had his own money and was not dependent on them and felt free to do career stream he liked. and these were only child. after some teething, the parents also accepted the change in career.

yuvi seems like a nice guy but he is not suited to running a hotel or working under papaG. they might be better hiring an actual manager to run the place while yuvi pursues something on his own.

I actually heard of a case where the parents were trying to sue their son and daughter in law cause they were depriving them of grandkids, they wanted them to make babies lol. That is over involvement, it’s not like buying a toy, a baby is hard work, life changing and if you not ready for it, will end badly.

I forgot to mention that after some point parents need to be friends with their adult son and daughter, you can’t keep treating them like little kids. I notice some parents still have a hold over their kids even after they married with kids or just happily being single. They are adults now you can let go lol. You can advise but they need to make their own decisions. I saw this comedian on YouTube the other day and he was like, just go with your parents decisions so if it goes wrong you can blame them and ask them if this is what they wanted. Throw away any self responsibility. 😂

I do wonder what Yuvraj is actually good at, what is he without the family business?

how can parents make their children feel valued? how can parents note their appreciation for the boring, responsible ways the child stands by them?

if you are an adult child who feels they are not acknowledged, how do you deal with it? how do you communicate those feelings to your parents? do you think it can change to a more healthier dynamic?

I can talk about my own example for this question of yours mango... As an adult living with parents it's a difficult situation with lots of complexities...For parents we are not adult, we are still the child we were way back and that sometimes lead to friction...sometimes we also want appreciation from them but feels like whatever we do to please them or do in general is never enough... We never feel valued. And it stuck to us like maybe the problem is us.. We are not doing enough.. That guilt is always there.. Living together we have to interact a lot and so the friction keeps on increasing.

So even when we communicate those feelings , they don't try to understand.. They think we are degrading them.The age gap factor here plays a big part...

We today's kid are so open to every type of opinions so our perceptions are wider.. But our parent's generation are not exposed to soo much information... So the difference of opinion is always there... Nobody wants to listen to anyone, nobody wanna communicate.. The friction keeps on increasing with time... Its not healthy for any party but one can do so much to keep relationships from going bitter...

Especially with mothers... The mother tries to teach girls their way of living life which they have learnt from their mothers, but today's girls don't want to lead that life which of course has a more patriarchal undertone attached.. They have their own opinions which they don't fear to express which afraid the mother the most like how my girl will adjust in future in another house.... So yes adult children and parents relationship are way complicated in today's time with difference of opinion and life choices...

Originally posted by: Ritzzee23

how can parents make their children feel valued? how can parents note their appreciation for the boring, responsible ways the child stands by them?

if you are an adult child who feels they are not acknowledged, how do you deal with it? how do you communicate those feelings to your parents? do you think it can change to a more healthier dynamic?

I can talk about my own example for this question of yours mango... As an adult living with parents it's a difficult situation with lots of complexities...For parents we are not adult, we are still the child we were way back and that sometimes lead to friction...sometimes we also want appreciation from them but feels like whatever we do to please them or do in general is never enough... We never feel valued. And it stuck to us like maybe the problem is us.. We are not doing enough.. That guilt is always there.. Living together we have to interact a lot and so the friction keeps on increasing.

So even when we communicate those feelings , they don't try to understand.. They think we are degrading them.The age gap factor here plays a big part...

We today's kid are so open to every type of opinions so our perceptions are wider.. But our parent's generation are not exposed to soo much information... So the difference of opinion is always there... Nobody wants to listen to anyone, nobody wanna communicate.. The friction keeps on increasing with time... Its not healthy for any party but one can do so much to keep relationships from going bitter...

Especially with mothers... The mother tries to teach girls their way of living life which they have learnt from their mothers, but today's girls don't want to lead that life which of course has a more patriarchal undertone attached.. They have their own opinions which they don't fear to express which afraid the mother the most like how my girl will adjust in future in another house.... So yes adult children and parents relationship are way complicated in today's time with difference of opinion and life choices...

@bold so true .

thanks for sharing ritzzee -- when it comes to cultural differences in generation, it is very difficult to overcome. basically both parents have to just agree to disagree and move on from there. I knew of one family where their daughter has chosen to be childless on purpose. for the parents, that is a strange choice and they could not understand her fears regarding childbirth etc. not sure how the in-laws processed it but the couple stuck to their guns. the parents disagreed with her decision but they also accepted there was nothing they could do. so time and years went on. a kind of mixed peace

Mango, as usual another rocking thread. I was stuck in some work. I will come with my two cents tomorrow

I have some more thoughts on Katha-Viaan interactions and their changing dynamics in relation. I will write hopefully by tomorrow atleast

G family is a perfect example of Indian dysfunctional family, where parent expectations of their kids could not be met, there was lack of communication between them that lead to trust deficit and ultimately they fall out of close association and love.

Yuvi is the younger son of G family, who was always shadowed by his elder brother Aditya. As an individual I don't think Yuvi is less intelligent or capable, but he is being always compared with Aditya and he is always weighed down by his father's expectations. The things remains the same even after Aditya left.

On top of that he is suffering with the behaviour of Reet, his wife, who is insecure of her position and future of her kids at G family. Reet badly wants a male child which will lament her position in the G family (I don't see any pressure from G family for Boy child, she has created the situation in her own mind).

Reet sometimes feels bad for her husband, yet she taunts him for not being there for her, not being able to meet the expectations of PapaG by Yuvi.

It is this complex situation, which happened due to lack of basic communication and understanding, that lead Yuvi to find a shoulder to lean on outside marriage. And Meera is that perfect shoulder who is ready to accept Yuvi for the person who he is. It is not yet shown if Meera is a GD or not, what she expects out of this relation.

I don't accept or support any kind of EMA, it is dis respect to both the women in the triangle. If Yuvi is not able to find happiness in his marriage with Reet, he should express it to her openly, find solutions to it and if things don't work out, they should part ways amicably. He can have a fresh start with Meera later on.

As Katha told Meera in today's episode, if her friend is meeting her secretly, and he has a wife already, it is a problem, A problem to all three and families.

To make things worse, PapaG is planning to hand over business to Katha

As of now, Yuvi seems to miss Aditya and he is absolutely fine with Katha being a part of family. I don't know if things will be the same after PapaG's plans for Katha in business.

We get to see such family conflicts, parent-adult child conflict and conflicts within marriages in real life as well.

I am seeing such a conflict right now in my extended family. And basically the issues are really silly. But the issues were never addressed at the right time and it is blown up to such an extent that now parents and son-DIL is not in talking terms.

The key to solve any human conflict is communication. Unless there is open communication, nothing can be resolved. And we often wait for the other party to initiate communication. And we never realise that you have spent so much time waiting to initiate talk that things have gone out of proportion

letha -- para 1 is a perfect description of how you can have family members that love each other and yet, somehow the family is in tatters.

like you said, the longer people put off communicating, nothing gets resolved. sometimes these conflicts can be hilarious in a dark way because people will end up bringing up stuff that happened 10, 15, 20 years ago and the other person doesn't even remember. instead, they chose to sit on it for so many years and still be resentful.

am also wondering how yuvi will react to katha being a potential competitor. katha is not going to viaan's company but just the thought of now being compared to katha is going to be hard to take.

for those wondering, why the writers were spending time on Gfamily, it is clear that makers have lots of conflicts planned. they are not separate arcs. am curious to see how the two arcs will meld to create a messy conflict.