Originally posted by: oblivious_soul
The topic solely deals with fiction. Kindly requesting anyone with a vested agenda of bashing real members or actors to not do that
"In our world, a man is confident but a woman, arrogant .A man is uncompromising but a woman is a ball breaker. A man is assertive, a woman is aggressive. A man is strategic, a woman is manipulative. A man is a leader, a woman is controlling. A man is authoritative, a woman is annoying. The characteristic or behavior is the same, what is different is the sex. And based on the sex, the world makes assumptions and the world treats us differently"
-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
The world includes you and me who treats the sexes differently. We haven't learnt to accept strong woman. Strong woman threatens the traditional notions. They threaten the power of orthodoxy. They are to be feared. The world tries to silence them. They are called arrogant, irritating, annoying, rude and whatnot. Standing up for oneself is labelled so by the society. Bhavani tried to suppress Sai from day 1 because Sai threatened her uncontrolled power. Virat tried to label her immature and childish to exert control over her and abuse her. Pakhi called her a brat, rude, stupid girl to show her dominance and Sai showed them all their places. None of the characters could take it and they still label her with these names. So is the case with many. Sai is the victim of domestic violence but see how victims are treated. Women especially someone like Sai who is assertive and confident is seen as a threat by Kaku, Virat and Pakhi and many with a similar thought process. She is outspoken and challenged the archaic " narrow minded" thinking of many. Such women are considered to be threat by many. Because a confident assertive woman who knows her mind will be hard to be controlled by the patriarchy (husband). So the narrative must be spun away from the positive towards the negative and reductive. Hence the victim will be called by many as the aggressor because she threatened their hypocrisy and double standards- I mean Chauhan family ofc, not anyone else. If she is called rude, arrogant, immature, brat she can be easily dismissed and brushed aside. They couldn't tame her, so they tried to make her succumb by denying food and shelter. The parrot puppet Virat acted as harbinger of abuse. He outdid even Kaku of 17th century. Women like Pakhi and some others the patriarchal ideas are so ingrained that they don't know where they go wrong. They will agree twisting Sai's hand was wrong but will also support a person who practiced domestic violence. Kaku, Ashwini and many others wants her to let go off past and do pati pooja of Virat. Sai should spoil herself talking to her classmates but her husband can have the ex flame at one hand distance. If she doesn't accept it she is called ungrateful and insensitive. \
Here's to all the Sai's who were called arrogant, rude, annoying, immature by Kaku's, Pakhi's and Virat's you are a one hell of a strong woman who threatened the power and exposed their hypocrisy
đđđ What a fab post. Seriously so much sympathy is being given to virat just because his wife can't understand he loves her, because his wife questions his friendship with his ex who he himself favours too much and etc. Literally he is treated like a victim just because he cries because the girl he loves can't read his mind or because he himself hides important details from her which hampers her trust in him.
On the other hand sai is tagged as irritating, arrogant and a brat just for questioning virat and not understanding his love when she is the one being abused, ridiculed, humiliated, accused and character assassinated on an almost daily basis by his family, his ex/ best friend and sometimes even him, then to top it off he remains quiet and says nothing to discourage his bestie or family from insulting sai, and instead stands there quietly all teary eyed and all hurt when it is sai who should be stood there crying with how she keeps getting attacked. It's almost like he enjoys the tamasha of seeing his family and bestie humiliating sai for the times sai gets on his nerves, that's why he allows pakhi and his family to have their way with humiliating sai whilst he stands there with tears in his eyes or looks away closing his eyes.
If sai is being bashed for being adamant that her marriage with virat is just a deal and not being able to see that virat loves her, then why is virat not being criticised by sai's critics that when he can clearly see that sai does not like his friendship with pakhi and he can tell his and pakhi's equation makes sai feel unsure and insecure about her marriage with him (virat himself has said that he knows sai loves him but won't admit it, meaning he is aware of sai's inner turmoil), why does he refuse to answer sai's obvious jealousy ridden questions, why does he just call all her questions bakwaas or made up stories instead of just answering them when he can clearly sense sai is getting jealous? Virat has admitted to himself he does know sai's feelings, but he himself isn't acting to clear sai's insecurity. So how can sai be blamed for denying her feelings for virat or not seeing virat's feelings when virat himself ignores sai's obvious insecurity and denies answering her questions honestly?
Even before sai stepped in the house for the first time she and her father were insulted without fault by his family, proving that his family are awful people who don't need a reason to insult her and just do it for their own ego and sense of power, because many times after that too they have attacked her for no reason even if she comes down the stairs just to go college and she is not the kind of girl to take insults quietly so she retorts back instead of being timid and allowing them to bully and harass her. And pakhi is often the one to start it, but if sai tries to say anything back then virat attacks sai and defends pakhi. Just wow!
So virat should receive sympathy just because his love is being rejected and his friendship with his overly close relationship with his so-called best friend and ex is being questioned by his wife, but sai is awful and should be bashed because she calls her marriage a deal and zimmedari as she is insecure about her position in virat's life because of virat-pakhi's own actions and words, especially the lack of clarification and not answering certain questions of sai's honestly by virat, and because she is a young girl still trying to come to terms with her own changing feelings for virat and realise them amid insecurities that virat still has feelings for pakhi but is only sacrificing his love for pakhi because of samrat and family. Truth is sai has more right than virat to feel sad and insecure than virat being sad over sai's repetitive deal marriage dialogue because virat himself was the one who put it into her head that she is only a zimmedari for him.
People are forgetting that virat himself has many times repeated that sai is his zimmedari which has had told sai many times, but people forget that because sai's deal jaap is more frequent, but virat himself has filled sai with the insecurity that she is only a responsibility to him and that pakhi is his love. There is an actual lack of communication and honesty even from virat's side about his feelings and important questions asked by sai that if virat had answered honestly, many of sai's suspicions about his feelings for pakhi would have been cleared. But sai is being held responsible for virat's plight and being called rude etc when sai has the most valid reasons to feel that virat doesn't consider her as his wife in truest sense or that he could love her.
If virat just tells sai the entire truth without trying to mince words or leave out any info and be honest with his wife then the insecurity of sai's that virat can see but ignores would be dealt with. He should admit he loved pakhi, but when he got to know that she had agreed to marry his brother, he decided to step back and asked pakhi to not break her marriage with his brother, and since she married his brother he stopped seeing pakhi as anything more than a friend and his brother's wife. Then he should tell sai also that pakhi is still in love with him and still wants a relationship with him but he refused her as he no longer sees pakhi that way and he considers sai his wife, that this is what they both had talked about in the cafe and why pakhi cried and he tried to console her.
Anupamaa
