Originally posted by: Scarysea
I am late today and my opinion maybe a bit unpopular( no chappals please). Apologies if I hurt you unintentionally 😒
I liked the episode and I liked Raavi's lines. Why is adjustment seen in such a negative light? I don't know about marriage from personal experience but every relation needs certain adjustment. Like Sara had commented few threads before, people don't come custom made. I have seen my parents marriage- happy, satisfying and full of love but they have adjusted and changed for each other too. Raavi is willing to become the wife Shiva wants. I think that one line gave us much insight into what Raavi thinks of too.
Raavi is not in love but her feelings have started budding- hence her getting affected by his actions. But Raavi also feels that Shiva doesn't love her or want her either. I have myself commented Dobi other many times but it isn't easy to hold on after all she went through. Honestly she is trying desperately to maintain status quo- because that is the only way this marriage can sustain. Forget hope she doesn't even dream Shiva falling for her. For her the question of her feelings doesn't arise because she cannot bear to accept her feelings to be ruthlessly forsaken again. We as an audience have seen Shiva fall for her but what exactly has he done to make her feel so- initial days of marriage he didn't care either; didn't even think she deserves to know that her husband didn't leave her with the goons and that she was not forsaken again after being forsaken by her groom on her wedding. He has said that she doesn't matter. He traded her off for kangans( granted with a lot of emotional value still kangans). He told her he is not affected by her coming or going. He falls in love, loses himself in her beauty but then the diary happens and he pushes her away. Again. I don't think she has much to go by to come to the conclusion that he likes her.
If I had written Raavi, I would have shown a deep seated fear of falling in love again. She will be afraid to hope, to love and to dream the beautiful relation she wanted previously. But Shiva was her only anchor- only thread joining childhood to entire life. She will help Shiva overcome his insecurities showing him he is the best for her and Shiva would be the one to help her overcome her fear of loving again.
I am not bashing Shiva guys. I love the character. I can connect to his insecurity too( went through a similar phase myself about looks height weight and trust me I know how insecurity feels). His pain and despair is not only for himself but also for Raavi- the woman he loves he cannot make her the happiest. His expressions his pain break my heart too.
And contrary to many here, I don't want a third angle( male or female ) or even the divorce. I may even accept a divorce scenario but not a third angle at this point. Raavi doesn't need to feel jealous at this point. She needs comfort and security too. And yes they can both separate. Suman can even find a new and more perfect bride for her son. It will be Raavi who will face the brunt of society- Raavi the girl rejected by two brothers in a span of some months; Raavi who already has an unmarried sister; who knows that she would be an added burden on her Maasapa. Would that jealousy be proof of her love to Shiva or would it feel like another act to safeguard her marriage for the sake of society?
Just an opinion guys. Sorry for the essay.
Lovely post Chikki!
Compromise is definitely needed in any relationship whether it is out of love or arranged. I think what Raavi needs to address with Shiva is what the basis of the compromise is. I guess what Shiva is thinking that they might be ok for the present, but somewhere down the line, when there are bad days, he does not want her regretting her marriage and cursing her fate. (Have seen real life instances- that is why I am very wary of forced marriages). 10 years down the line it might be too late to do anything- now atleast Raavi has a chance to move on(difficult, but easier than when she will be in her 30s).
So Raavi definitely needs to address the insecurities. Not "I wanted something else before, now I am going to compromise", but "My needs and understanding have changed- I used to like something before, but now I like other things". Shiva is basing his assumptions on Raavi still wanting the same things from life
Yes Shiva is definitely wrong in not hearing her out. Maybe that is what Raavi wants to eventually touch upon as she speaks with him. Unfortunately, ShiVi have bad timing. If they had this conversation pre-Sneha kaand, Shiva might have even agreed with her and worked things out.
Insecurities do cloud a person's judgement. It is very burdensome for people surrounding the insecure person- just like us viewers are irritated with Shiva and want him to just grow up and deal with it. People give well meaning advice on either changing or learning to let go. Perfectly sound advice, but completely useless until the person works his way out of his insecurities.
We all agree Raavi needs to be loved and pampered. Maybe Shiva feels exactly the same. And what if he is convinced that he cannot be person, that he cannot change? This is not about wanting to change- he is refusing to even to take a step in the direction because his confidence is shot.
I also agree with your analysis of how difficult Raavi's life might be if she did get divorced. But despite the social pressue, divorce should always be option. Keeping aside my bias for Shiva, what if his push had injured her 😕 Or what if (hypothetically only) he had hit her in anger? She should definitely not stay in such a relationship, and should walk out. I'll go a step further and say, if she is being mentally battered in a relationship, shouldn't she walk away?(Here I am a bit unclear- is she being mentally or emotionally tortured? Somedays I feel yes, somedays no)
That said, this is a show, and we have a loved pair. All references to NDE, third angle, divorce are mainly plot points to move the story forward, not as a means to be insensitive. 😆 If the makers gave us progression through open communication and introspection, like the OG, no one would bother asking for this. When two characters are at a stale mate and refuse to talk to one another, how do you force a change? 🤷♀️
Again a thesis 🙈 I think I should impose a moratorium on my IF visits when PMSing
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
