Member topic: Have you ever regretted any of your love interests? - Page 4

Originally posted by: S_H_Y

May Allah blessed the soul of all the guys who survived the girls who posted in this thread. 🤲

I think they are already blessed since they survived.😆

There's one and my problem is that I can't write him off as a completely awful person. I wish I could cuz that would make things a lot more easier but I can't bring myself to it. We were incompatible but kept it going for a long time for one reason or another ... like a free-fall neither of us wanted to end. But we both knew it all along that it wasn't gonna end well. That's where regret comes in .. for letting emotions govern me and letting it go on for as long as we did despite knowing that it was doomed from the beginning.

I'll probably regret this post too cuz I feel like saying anything at all would be a disservice to whatever role that person played in my life. But I started feeling ambivalent towards him over time cuz I'm not very straightforward with boundaries and let resentment fester to the point where I couldn't tell anymore if I loved him or hated him. I don't know his side of the story on me now but I continue to flip flop and we broke up last year.

Looking back, I regret not being direct when something bothered me and not showing up as my authentic self, thanks to my people pleasing tendencies. I regret letting another person get in my head to the point where I started giving away my power and autonomy ... to the point where I started making my life decisions based on HIS thought process instead of my own and I also regret putting up with some of the things I did with him thinking that love conquers all. Bad idea cuz it doesn't.

An ongoing struggle is that I feel extremely "wronged" by him and life in general for the amount of time I invested in it, and that's where regret comes in. At the same time, I don't think he set out to do the dirty on me. One would have to be a complete sociopath to do whatever he did to me ... and I don't think he is one. I tell myself that humans are fallible creatures who make mistakes, both big and small.

I don't know if I've ever 'fallen in love' if you get what I mean. No love notes ,terms of endearment etc none of that. I have loved people . I've had relationships with toxic manipulative nutjobs who had me tricked at the beginning with the whole vulnerable poor me act. Emotional vampires in sheep's clothing. I've ended up with so many twisted people and managed to get away before ending up in the headlines , I should be given an honorary degree in psychiatric nursing or something.

So I can relate minty. Also sorry to hear about your experiences. :(

No I don't regret any of those. Not one bit. Because all those people gave me a better sense of boundaries. Taught me that trusting people can be one hell of a gamble and that it should be done with realistic expectations with plenty of room for bad results.

Yes I do if unrequited love counts.I will always regret falling for him.He was my unrequited love and my first love.I thought he was a good guy but he turned out to be a jerk in the end.He betrayed my trust and my friendship by making a joke out of my feelings for him.It was ok if he didn't loved me but he literally made a joke of my feelings for him.I think eventhough he was a bitter experience for me but he really gave me a valuable life time lesson not to love and trust someone so blindly.It was tough to move on but I actually felt myself lucky to escape from a selfish guy like him.I actually felt it was good that he didn't fall for me since we had to fight a long battle to be together and I don't think so I have that courage to fight this long battle by hurting other people feelings😊.

I also believe there is nothing called true love now and it is good not to believe in true love by watching films/shows or reading books.I am saying this not because of my experience but by observing my age group people who mostly doesn't believe in commited relationship,true love or long term relationship.Nowadays it is better to be a non commited person or not be a person who believe in true love and all if you don't want to hurt yourself because people nowadays only like to be in open/non commited/short term relationship with each other.Nowadays people fall only in and out of love with each other very quick.My age group people nowadays get in relation so quick and then they also break up very quick.After breaking up they also jumped to a new relationship.For example you could see how actors-actresses doesn't like/can't be in a long lasting relationship /marriage without engaging with infidelity or falling out of love with their previous partner to a new person👍🏼.

Also if you really wanted to be in a commited or long term relationship you should be with a person who doesn't engaged in infidelity or take you for granted .Also if you are in a toxic relationship you should get out of such relationship eventhough you really loved the guy/girl you are in relationship with because being in such relationship are detrimental and only hurt our feelings😊.

Originally posted by: SmittenKitten

There's one and my problem is that I can't write him off as a completely awful person. I wish I could cuz that would make things a lot more easier but I can't bring myself to it. We were incompatible but kept it going for a long time for one reason or another ... like a free-fall neither of us wanted to end. But we both knew it all along that it wasn't gonna end well. That's where regret comes in .. for letting emotions govern me and letting it go on for as long as we did despite knowing that it was doomed from the beginning.

I'll probably regret this post too cuz I feel like saying anything at all would be a disservice to whatever role that person played in my life. But I started feeling ambivalent towards him over time cuz I'm not very straightforward with boundaries and let resentment fester to the point where I couldn't tell anymore if I loved him or hated him. I don't know his side of the story on me now but I continue to flip flop and we broke up last year.

Looking back, I regret not being direct when something bothered me and not showing up as my authentic self, thanks to my people pleasing tendencies. I regret letting another person get in my head to the point where I started giving away my power and autonomy ... to the point where I started making my life decisions based on HIS thought process instead of my own and I also regret putting up with some of the things I did with him thinking that love conquers all. Bad idea cuz it doesn't.

An ongoing struggle is that I feel extremely "wronged" by him and life in general for the amount of time I invested in it, and that's where regret comes in. At the same time, I don't think he set out to do the dirty on me. One would have to be a complete sociopath to do whatever he did to me ... and I don't think he is one. I tell myself that humans are fallible creatures who make mistakes, both big and small.

Yes listening to someones POV and then changing mine to suit theirs. Ive done that and ive been there. Thats alot to put up with. Especially when sometimes they make even contacting them difficult

Originally posted by: Abjini

Yes I do if unrequited love counts.I will always regret falling for him.He was my unrequited love and my first love.I thought he was a good guy but he turned out to be a jerk in the end.He betrayed my trust and my friendship by making a joke out of my feelings for him.It was ok if he didn't loved me but he literally made a joke of my feelings for him.

Yeah one sided love is whacky also. When they get married it can be heart wrenching 😳

I see current gen to be very confident and sure of what they want in their love life.

Back in my days, lot of us had this one man woman, one woman man concepts.
All those stupid Bw eternal romance qtiyapa was stuck in head.
Opposite attracts — ghanta. Nothing like it.

Anyways. Rant over. Not in a good head space right now.

Originally posted by: Maroonporsche

Yes listening to someones POV and then changing mine to suit theirs. Ive done that and ive been there. Thats alot to put up with. Especially when sometimes they make even contacting them difficult

yup, that's not even the half of it and I tried my best to keep it vague. it's definitely a lesson learned the hard way ... to never walk on eggshells with someone you're with and care about just so you don't upset or offend them.

I fell in love with someone once, that was nothing but deception. Smoke and Mirrors. They were not who they showed themselves to be. It was a Narcissist / Jezebel spirit.

Luckily, I sensed something was off and so, never went ahead with them into any relationship. But I was deceived for a fair amount of time, that they're absolutely wonderful and that they truly liked me. But it was all fun and games for them and all about attention.

Had it not been for my friends and family, I would have never been able to perceive the situation or recovered from the hurt of that deception.

Millennial here. Only ever been in love once. No regrets. I learned a lot from that relationship and it helped shape my personality. It lasted a long time but in the end things didn't work out. I have been single since then and prefer it that way. I took my time (a year) in moving on and now as I have grown as a person, with my personality developing further, I am meh about romantic relationships as I am quite happy with myself. I am a very pragmatic person who doesn't like giving up control and hates feeling powerless so I don't let emotions control me. I am not an emotional person anyways. I am very blunt with my thoughts and feelings as I don't like leaving any room for misunderstandings, and am for the most part a detached person. I pretty much never fall in love or become infatuated.