Chapter 42
A fortune worth 150 crores and a woman of 25 years with zero clue to it – without even a single happenstance mention of it from a relative or a friend for all these years?!!
Sifting through the notes of Jodha’s case, Prithvi stopped at the initial findings – those from the day of inquiry at Saradhi’s house. A new suspect, a new lead in form of Shyam’s file was all the ingenious officer offered that afternoon, and the fallout - a vivid working brain at Two in the morning, itchy nimble cells that demanded to take up the challenge and alacritous eyes that didn’t want to retire into saturninity though the day was rough and the evening longer. With the wee hours of night offering a perfect backdrop for a mystery thriller, he went about raising the curtain for the drama to unwind itself from the beginning.
Her parents and grandparents, Saradhi’s family, Srinivas and a few real estate agents!
He mentally scrolled through the list of people with knowledge about the property.
And right a few days before it was officially transferred to Jodha, the parents get killed and the documents disappear. Means… someone else came to know of it – someone who knew Shyam, and someone close enough to Raghuram to know where the property documents are kept. Srinivas? If it were he, why would he wait all these years to usurp the property?
Channelizing his thoughts, Prithvi began profiling the unidentified person with the information he had acquired so far.
50+ male - friends with both Jodha and Samyuktha’s family.
Knew of the forgery fraud from 7 years ago –> an old acquaintance.
Stole keys from Jodha’s home –>someone with unquestionable entry into her home.
Keeping tab on Jodha -> someone who can ease information out without causing suspicion
Got hold of documents–> a trusted friend who...
A flash of realization hit the officer hard. Trusted friend!!
YES!!
He had been speculating how the suspect might have landed upon the documents, but missed considering the scenario where Raghuram, out of his true volition, could have turned them over to him. When it is so common for people to send someone on their behalf to registration offices to get the pre-registration paperwork done, wouldn’t Raghuram have done the same? Wouldn’t that explain the suspect’s confidence in executing a murder? Lest, with no assurance in hand, how should anyone directly kill? Doesn’t it also explain why the accident happened only a few days before Jodha’s birthday and not earlier? On second thoughts, even if Raghuram hadn’t handed over the documents for pre-registration, still the latter had a sure shot way of procuring them because a homicide is not something planned overnight.
So…
… a trusted friend with access to, perhaps, a home locker or bank safe deposit box.
He added- ‘finding out nominees of Raghuram’s bank lockers’ - as the next action item and then proceeded with dissecting the general operation mode of a criminal.
If I were the suspect – I’m a respectable white collared civilian and a well-settled family man. I’m Raghu’s confidante. Raghu is a gentleman liked by all, but I detest him – why? Did he harm me? Did he cause me any loss? Or am I simply envious of him?
Okay, for my own reasons I hate him… and when I suddenly heard about this new fortune he possesses, I got greedy? Envious? Angry? Probably all. Still… Am I so cruel to kill someone, that too a friend, just for money? Didn’t I think of my social image, my family, or my respectable position before committing a crime?
Of course, I did. I’m not a professional killer to kill for a dime. I tried other ways, but they didn’t work out. Right… what were my ways?
Ask Raghu to sell it to me for less than market price because I’m his friend? Nah – That wouldn’t work because he had no intention of selling it. He aspired to build a school in it for less privileged girls. He refused all market offers for this very reason and waited to reveal both the fortune and his dream to Jodha on her 25th… wait!!!
JODHA!!
His eyes opened with a jerk, and his fingers skimmed through the file in uninhibited excitement. His scanning glances stopped at the random trivia he scribbled during the initial days of investigation.
‘Proposals of marriage to Jodha’ – the heading read, followed by a list of names Saradhi shared according to his knowledge. But what caught his attention was a name, at the end of the list, shared by Jalal a couple of weeks ago. He didn’t know why he used a red marker for it, definitely an unprecedented act on his part, but the name stood tall amongst others… glaring back at him- BOLD and RED!!!
----
Zoom… Boom… Crash!
Somewhere in the vicinity, a thunder struck Earth but the roar fell deaf on the benumbed lady.
Déjà vu!
Beneath the icy depths that stared stoic, beneath the misty layer that sheened bright, beneath the hope the black orbs carried, there flickered flashes of fear – a dread so gut wrenching that her heart hurt as if crushed by a vulture’s claw.
Another call… another anonymous voice… another tragedy!
Her raw memories being churned, Jodha couldn’t help but recall the bitterest night of her life that only marked the beginning of several such ones to follow. Her fist clenched, remembering how excruciating and outstretched those nights were - filled with survivor’s guilt, entrenched loneliness and silent tears. Those long, hellish nights... where she had to lull her traumatic mind with a freshly woven fantasy, night after night, only to pump hope to her soul before it resigned into insipidity and scooped up the courage to end its existence.
And My... How wistful and soul soothing those fantasies were! It was almost like she lived in two parallel worlds back then – a hollow lifeless one during the day and a heavenly one in the night where her parents, Gautam and she stayed together reliving all those impossible moments – moments where Gautam came home safe after his plus two, moments where there was no call at all from the constable, moments of Gautam’s graduation ceremony they never got to witness in real life and many more like her full family cheering for her performance at the State cultural event that was scheduled in last November or Gautam gifting their family a surprise vacation to her favorite Mauritius, she flaunting her brother’s charms before her friends, or she living off her brother’s earnings, Gautam’s wedding, taking his baby to hands for first time and being called attha(aunt), she falling in love with a roadside Romeo and Gautam leaping to her defense, or her parents 50th anniversary filled with their children, friends, relatives… people, people and just people everywhere she looked at…
Tring…. tring
She lifelessly stared at the phone, her mind neither ceasing drawing comparisons to the other night nor stopping fearing if this is another beginning to that hell, only now that Jalal too will add to that fantasy world she again had to undertake…
Noooooo!!!
Clasping her knees tight, Jodha plummeted her head down, forcing sanity into her thoughts. Her stomach turned into knots as the vibrating phone slid down her lap and its cold touch against her skin felt like chills of death. Its mellow rings sounding like cries of doom, she squeezed her ears shut, fervently praying for it to go silent. For a brief second it did seem like her prayers were answered but before she embraced the comforting silence, it started clamoring again.
Nooooo!! Just go away!!
The sane part of her mind, whatever little that is left of, advised her to answer the call and end the ordeal, but the cowardice in her chose to fend off the moment.
I don’t have to know. Just stop…please!!
Resolute to dive into oblivion Jodha cuddled into a ball, but the ever-so-mischievous fate decided differently for her. With the scooped-up posture, the phone in her lap pressed firmly against her skin, thus offering the touch a touch screen needed. The vibrations against her abdomen abruptly stopped… so did her heart!
Absolute silence ensued while Jodha trained her mind to a gruff voice that’d kick off with an apology, but then…
“Jo! What’s wrong?”
Receiving nothing but sheer silence, Jalal verified the audio screen to confirm his call was indeed answered. “Jo, you there?” Wiping the droplets of his lashes, he bellowed against the cranking heater, trying not to succumb to the woeful conclusion Thirty Three freaking calls and a sickening silence presented. He waited a few beats straining his ears for any alerting sound and since he heard none, he called her out again.
Back there on the porch steps of her to be home, Jodha sat stiff, engulfed by an all-consuming silence while the sky above her performed a duet of Soprano and Contralto with loud thunders and dulcet showers. Her heart didn’t burst out of happiness, her mind didn’t scream in relief, nor her body bounced in joy as she had envisioned to happen if Jalal were to return her calls. Instead, a familiar fatigue seeped into her bones - exactly like the one that crept in right after the accident news twice in her past and the night in Delhi when she found Aliya in Jalal’s arms after all the running she did - leaving her mushy and inanimate.
Boom!!
The roar of sky brandished her to reality and when it gradually sank in, the tension dispersing from her nerves was so palpable that if asked years later about the feeling, she could repeat it with perfect detailing. Around her perched knees, her fingers trembled, the grip loosened, her shoulders sagged, her mouth went dry and the knots in her stomach unwound. The anxiety that held her stiff in a coil till then having suddenly dispelled, her body found no support to hold on to. How much ever she had desired to grab the phone, glue it to her ear and absorb all the life support Jalal’s voice induced, Jodha couldn’t lift a finger nor let out a whimper.
“Jodha… you there? It’s you, right?” Surprising himself, Jalal calmly asked. Underneath the stony calmness, he was acutely aware of the panic that brewed, but wasn't steady mind always his natural modus operandi?! And wasn't that how he had survived through all the Augean circumstances in his life?! In fact, the more herculean the situation was, the stoic his demeanor became and it’s only surprising that he hadn’t completely lost touch in his game, like he had thought, whenever he exhibited sporadic outbursts of anger, fear or other foreign emotions, after a certain favorite employee’s infringement into his life. While awaiting response from the other end, his swift mind sifted through various options of ensuring Jodha’s safety.
One: to disconnect and call her back and if it’s answered, that ends the speculation if it’s an accidental press of a button; Two – to call the security and ask him to check on her; Three – to call the landline and see if she’d pick it up. But all of them needed disconnecting the ongoing call and not exactly sure of the jeopardy Jodha is currently in, he couldn’t decide if that’s the right thing to do.
What if she’s in danger and this, accidental or not, was his only link of communication with her? What if losing this connection meant losing the chance to rescue her?
His pulse throbbing, Jalal thumped the accelerator down and slammed the heater shut, unwitting to miss even the faintest of sounds coming from the audio. Several seconds of nothingness later, he heard a low rumble of thunder and vague bustle of wind and his zest eyes quickly scanned his car windows to make sure the sounds weren’t from his side. The sounds repeated… this time louder and clearer and his heart froze!!
What the hell was Jodha’s phone doing out in the rain?
His pulse resuscitated at maddening tempo.
What does that mean? Wasn’t she at home? Did she step out looking for him? Is she harmed? Did she lose her phone in the process? Fxck… fxck.. fxck!
He cut through the slow-moving vehicles with deft steering. Fifty minutes! He banged the horn cursing the rain, the hoarding that fell across the road, the traffic that jammed and himself for getting down to help clear the blockage without first informing her. Fifty fxcking minutes! She’d have set out searching for him when he didn’t respond. His heart bled, but that didn’t hinder his mind from acting. He picked up his phone and scrolled through the call list, looking for the time of Jodha’s last call. It pacified him a little that it had been only fifteen minutes since she called last, hence he tried assessing general practicalities that could occur in fifteen minutes than Jodha being abducted or killed.
Without a car, she couldn’t come searching for him to the guest house and this is not the hour for a cab to be available. Auto? Yes… probably she asked the security to fetch an auto. Perhaps her phone is in her bag and got pressed on its own. If he calls her again, she might hear the rings and …
But…
The pessimistic part of his brain brought up a counter argument. Neither does he hear an engine sound, nor would she leave her phone in bag if she were anxious for his call. In fact, why’d she stop calling if nothing had happened to her in past fifteen minutes. She should have endangered herself in pursuit of him… Shxt!!
“JODHA!!” Maneuvering Jaguar as nimbly as possible, Jalal cried and continued to do so, hoping his cries would be heard by someone… anyone!
The muffled voice against her abdomen wasn’t lucid, but perceiving that Jalal was continuously speaking something, Jodha sighed. She still lacked the vigor to move an inch from her place, but the steady harangue delivered from the other end suggested its high time she responded. Unfurling from the coiling position, she fished the phone out of her Sari folds, slowly brought it up to her ear and the incessant bellowing she heard quilted her forehead.
“Does someone hear me? Hello… anyone there? Hello… hello… can someone hear me… hello… hello… answer me if you hear this please…hello.. can someone hear…”
“Yes… my stomach did! Um…” She gulped uncomfortably, the scorching throat telling her how parched she was. She paused, clearing it a few times, blessedly ignorant of the consequence her late response had caused. “…since stomachs don’t talk, it didn’t. And who is this someone who should hear you?”
Only when the driver of the tailing car overtook him, screaming in colorful language and showing him the middle finger, did Jalal realize the magnitude of his unpreparedness.
Whoa!!
He relaxed his foot off the brake and stared warily at the audio. “It’s you?!”
Unable to grasp the nature of his tirade or his question, Jodha frowned nonplussed. “Weren’t you calling my number?”
Her sentence didn’t even finish, when the layer of his icy composure broke and his fury manifested in its full glory. Last time when she went missing for hours, he had at least a few minutes to tame his anger and approach her in controlled rage but now…
“Damn you woman… damn you to hell. What did you think you were doing? Is this some sort of joke for you? Tell me… is scaring the shxt out of me your idea of fun? Or your idea of revenge? Oh yeah.. he doesn’t pick my Thirty frigging calls, fine.. let me pay him back … let me wait and watch while he blew his head off. Is that what your shitty silence was all about? Come on Jodha… answer me. Is that the kind of stupidity running in your head? Answer me God damn it”, he growled and when he received brief silence he howled again. “I’m warning you Jo… if you’re going silent on me now, I swear…”
A hundred responses sprung to Jodha’s lips right after Jalal’s third statement - of the seething types, of the accusing types, of the sarcastic types, of the condescending types, of the condemning types and several others - but she contained all of them at the tip of her tongue. She didn’t realize when the void created by the expelled tension had been replaced by anger born out of injustice or when her posture had stiffened like a dried stick ready to snap. Wreathing her free arm around her knees in a hurting clasp, a physical reminder for her to stay sober and not say something she’d repent forever, she waited for Jalal to be done with. But, since he didn’t seem to be done any sooner, she had to interrupt before he blurted something he’d regret forever.
“Come home Jalal.” The plainness in her voice took not only the furious man but Jodha too by surprise. After all that high dose of emotions before and after Jalal’s call, and despite training her mind to hush, she didn’t believe she’d be able to pull something so bland… why, even mature. “How far away are you?”
Jalal recessed, his scalding temper having been contravened by her poised comportment. Right from the beginning he damned her, Jalal knew he was being unjust, that she is neither responsible for his nasty conclusions, nor should she be roasted for it, but the fright of losing her, the mere thought of forfeiting the only woman he had ever come to love to a scumbag of criminal they were yet to identify, the sanctuary of their life being constantly invaded by a third person who, God knows what fxcking past had with his girl’s family, the unfairness of it all… apparently needed an outlet. But now, when she tackled him with perfect composure, not only was he surprised, but he couldn’t help appreciate her courage. Somewhere remotely in his heart, he even took pride and credit for rubbing off a piece of him on her.
Well… it’s only fair that if her impulsiveness becomes of him, then his cool collectedness became of her. And boy... what a combination they make! Complementing each other at times when the other one is lacking…
His breath still came in hot puffs but the buzzing in his ears vanquished. Transferring the intensity of his tongue to his left hand, Jalal changed the gear with death grip. “Five minutes!” He too replied soberly, evening out the surprise game.
Oh… now he is back to his I’m-Mr. Cool-you-can’t-scratch-my-surface charade?!
Jodha bit back her cutting remark. “Will be waiting,” she simply said, turned the speaker on and dropped the phone by her side. Not trusting herself to have any more of the ‘serene’ talks, she reposed her head back on the etched knees. Behind the closed lids, she replayed the entire situation and the confrontation she is going to have in five minutes. While she was at it, she also catalogued some strictures she’d enforce on Jalal, to help herself from preventing nights like this.
Returning from work every day by Seven.
No late night parties.
No liquor outside home.
No more than two shots at client parties.
Even then, no self-driving back to home.
Calling her once every three hours during the day to update on where he is, what he…
She wheezed, wrinkling her face at how henpecked that sounded. Thinking about it again, every single one of those so-called ‘safety measures’ sounded pestering, suffocating and yes… utterly henpecked.
When did I become that kind of human?
Alarmed and disturbed, Jodha dove into her character, scurrying through layers of chivalry, stubbornness, common sense, aggression, optimism and other qualities that had defined her all these years. She couldn’t sit in peace without knowing when such an ugly transformation had developed in her; thence she kept plunging with in her… deeper and deeper and Hola…! Down there … at the abyss of her heart, she discovered a hideous debris graciously waving back at her for being finally acknowledged.
So, this is where those horrendous thoughts surfaced from?
Petrified, she bunched the silk at her feet. Nipping on her bottom lip, Jodha mulled over the war she waged against her fears for past one year. She knew she curbed most of it and entertained only a healthy portion of apprehension, but little did she know that the tiny wreckage she had left neglected would thrive on its own and blossom to a monstrous size. And the uglier fact is … very soon it’s going to fully flourish and eat up all those vivacious layers she had laboriously built over years. If she let her have its way, it wouldn’t stop until it leaves her character… totally wretched.
NO!
No restrictions imposed, no compromises asked. Jodha doggedly pressed her face down. He’ll get the Jodha he deserves, and she will learn how to deal with her fears.
~~~
Tell her and be done with it! The more he repeated that decision in his mind, the surer Jalal felt. He didn’t know how many more bouts of random outrages he’s going to last without appearing lunatic. And either way he wouldn’t have great success patronizing her each time and then pacifying her with nonsense excuses. He felt better, only after resolving not to keep any of this shxt to himself and tax his relationship with her. He needed an outlet alright but that doesn’t mean he’d spurt irreversible unjust rubbishness when she did nothing to merit it.
How frightened she must be when he’s supposed to arrive fifty minutes ago and then stop answering his phone? That torture of being caught between two worlds… not knowing whether he is alive or dead… and then him calling her with a grand opening of damnation to hell!
Fxck!! He let out a self-deprecated sigh, looking at the monitor. Seriously, how disappointed with him should she be, perhaps to the point of disgust, to not even question the reason for his delay after all the labor she’d endeavored to reach out to him?! She didn’t want to second guess his arrival, which explained why she didn’t disconnect the call, but it was also clear that she is too displeased with him to extend the conversation. Where was she sitting by the way? Of course, the swing – her favorite place which also explains the thunder sounds he heard.
What is he going to tell her? How should he approach her – with the apology she deserved and then the truth, or with clarification for delay followed by apology and the truth, or with a jest to brighten her mood and then ease it into apology and truth? While he thus rehearsed, his integrity debated if he should be notifying Saradhi before proceeding with revealing anything to Jodha. To that point, he should also be seeking Prithvi’s approval as the latter advised against it only two days ago.
But… what if they denied? They don’t have solid evidence and have no clue if it’d take a day or a month or a year to track the bloody bugger. How long can he continue behaving irrational and blow off their relationship?
As the destination neared, Jalal’s determination only grew stronger. He’d not only be honest with her but will also make the necessary assurances to relieve her from spending another night like this, if that meant restrictions on his drinks or compromising on the time he shared with his friends. Starting tonight, they both are going to stop leading lives second-guessing each other’s safety.
His villa gates opened automatically, the sensors sensing Jaguar. The night security stuck his head out from the cabin to attest the identity of the visitor and fell back yawning, grateful to relax his guard and catch on few winks, now that the master is back. Jaguar’s magnificent flashlights disbanded the surrounding darkness baring a ball-like form on the porch steps.
What the heck! Jalal’s eyes slit, seeing the bizarre welcome.
Jodha’s expecting ears caught Jaguar’s howl and the breath she had been unconsciously holding let out. Gradually, she rose to sitting position, her heart picking up speed as the anticipation to see Jalal brimmed. Not taking his gaze off Jodha, Jalal drove straight to porch, changing his mind to park it in the garage. His breath quickened, experiencing the kind of fervor only she can arouse in him. His feet acted on their own, brought him out of the car and stationed him one step away from her, while he continued perusing the forlorn form gazing back at him. His keen eyes took notice of not only her disheveled state but also of the step she sat on – the last step of porch.
That last step that she had respected not to cross!
That one step, which she’d have easily perambulated and came searching for him and he couldn’t even had held it against her given the circumstance, but she didn’t… respecting his ordain of safety.
Oh.. God!! He crouched before her. How could he call her stupid and damn her to hell… angry or otherwise?!
He saw her meticulously scanning him, most possibly searching for any blood mixed with the water he’s oozing from head to toe and his glances turned warm. Resisting the urge to scoop her up and apologize her with his body and soul, he cleared his throat.
“What do you want to start me with?”
Tossing all his rehearsals to trash, he handed over the choice to her. Jodha sniffled, constraining the outbreak of tears he effortlessly stirred with his captivating persona, devoted gaze and sotto voice. She yearned to know why he’s dripping wet, if he is hiding any injury behind those sticky robes and why the hell didn’t he answer her calls… but she spilled none of them out.
“Probably with something nice that could save you?!” She dryly suggested, and for some reason ‘nice’ reminded him of the messages she last sent him. The perfectly outlined smoky orbs or the ready-to-relish supple pink lips in the pictures he had received were not the ones he’d met with. In fact, there is nothing nice about the form, posture or mood of the girl sitting before him.
Patchy smudges of blackness erased the precise outlines and painted distorted boundaries around her eyes. There isn’t sight of any color on her lips, forget the dazzle of lipstick, even the natural luster of them went missing as they appeared pale. And her hairstyle… those disarrayed curls with dangling pins wouldn’t have been the one she originally sported.
Doubtlessly… nothing nice! But..
How many tears, how many tugs at hair and how many bites of anxiety would’ve reduced her to this? He studied his woman, not with the pain of examining a ruined sculpture but with the reverence of standing before the remains of a historical structure – a monument that had resisted the tests of time; a monument that might be only shards now but kept its character intact.
“How about the verdict?”
Jodha looked uncertain so Jalal picked the phone next to her and opened her last picture message.
Was that only 2 hours ago? She sighed, imagining exactly how she appeared now. She glanced away from the phone but not before Jalal captured the evident aversion in her stance.
“The verdict is…” he determinedly pushed the screen under her line of vision and stated as matter of fact. “No rose in the world can hold a candle to mine.”
Jodha’s breath hitched, like it did every time he called her ‘his’ or used an endearment, but this time it was accentuated by another reminder - of the devil’s bargain she did with fate by disowning him for his safe return.
Certainly... another poisonous sapling that sprouted from the debris! She cringed at the stupidity of it. How many people will she disown all through her life if they were to be late by an hour?
“I said nice and saving and it is neither.” Her sardonic look said that he should’ve chosen his opening statement wisely, because sympathetic flattery isn’t helping him. In fact, it acted counterproductive.
“Good, because it wasn’t meant to be either.” Jalal said unruffled. “It’s precisely ‘my’ verdict. Any other man sharing the same opinion would get a bullet between his brows.”
She stifled the caustic comment that his verdict is apparently biased and illogical because the pink rose is still afresh, in the vase of entertainment lounge, while she made a mess of her here.
Pink Rose!! Her gaze returned to the picture. Wasn’t that his first ever complimentary analogy?! That day it felt like praise but today her mood isn’t in a state to conceive it an accolade. It felt rather ironical, because…
She once again faced away from the daunting truth.
That rose and she… both are beautiful facades with bunch of thorns underneath!
“What thorns?!”
Jalal’s question forced her look up puzzled. Did she think it loud?! She nodded in ‘nothing’ but his razor-sharp gaze didn’t let the topic subside. “Nothing relevant.” She intended to make causal comment, so that her wry observations stayed safely tucked in, but spite got better of her.
“Just wondering why people like roses when it’s all thorns beneath?”
Jalal stared intently at her, trying to discern what thoughts she had had in his absence that begged such question. Else, why’d they suddenly be talking roses at Two in the morning when there are more pressing matters?! Anyhow, he chose to answer that deemed fit both to the rose and to her.
“That’s because people appreciate its courage to bloom amidst the thorns!”
“But it prickles,” she charged back, not bluffed by his statement. “It leaves people hurt. Why do you still appreciate it?” In her mind it was ‘people’ in the last part but somehow it rolled out as ‘you’.
Jalal rested his knee down, understanding the real deal had just begun and he better made himself comfortable. “Long answer or short?”
Long answer meant platitudes, analogies, explanations which she thought would only make her more stubborn to negate and refute. “Short!”
Jalal held her gaze and spoke the fact, his fact anyway, as mincing words to make up a convincing answer wasn’t his flair. “If your feelings had surpassed liking, you appreciate it with all its flaws.”
“Oh…” she glared back. “Is that why you pass verdicts ignoring flaws like this?” Jodha gestured to her muddled hair, tenaciously highlighting the shortcomings he sympathetically overlooked.
“Yes!” His response came strong.
“…like this?” She pointed to the smudgy eyes.
“Yes!”
“…this?” She waved at the ruby red nose.
“Yes!”
“…and this?” She signed to the pale lips.
“Yes!”
“Even this?” She signaled to her heart and froze.
“What’s wrong with that?” Jalal’s eyes slit and Jodha gasped, suddenly needing more air.
What the hell was she doing?!
“What’s wrong with that?” Jalal gravely repeated, placing a firm hand on Jodha’s knee and not permitting her an escape. She blinked, totally blanched of a suitable response.
And what’d it be if she were to give one? Her list of flaws? Isn’t that suicidal?
Jalal didn’t nudge her further, neither did he deviate his attention from her. His unwavering stance conveyed he’s going to win by waiting her out and Jodha exhaled exhausted.
Couldn’t she have simply started with obvious enquiries like why he’s late or what had happened… or any darn straight forward thing? Why should she give him an enigmatic opening and steer the conversation to this juncture? Serves her right!
She peeked at Jalal hoping he would be benevolent in his pursue, but he nodded decidedly telling her to forget about lenience. His serious probing eyes infused warmth into her seeking ones, inadvertently melting the layers of inhibition.
No rose holds candle to mine!
People appreciate its courage to bloom!
…because feelings surpassed liking!
How sure his responses were! How confident, and sincere too though she adamantly classified them as flattery, he looked delivering his crisp one-liners! Like he hadn’t had a moment of second thought. What it feels to be so sure of oneself? He too had his share of injustice - didn’t that leave him wrecked… like her? Had he no fears.. like her?! Probably he doesn’t - people with fears do not bounce back to success like him. Or… may be… courageously admitting and overcoming fears is their key to success?! What’d he do if he were her? Perhaps treat his apprehensions with same honesty as he does with other emotions?! Could she do that? Could she be honest.. like him? And seriously is it worth trying? Wouldn’t there be mockery and rejection? Wouldn’t her weakest points be used against her?!
There is only one way to know…
Jodha wetted her lips, taking that leap of faith with the only person she’d ever try.
“There… are…” her voice faltered, having never experienced the humility of revealing her lows to a second person. “…certain… umm… like these… thorns… you know..”
She halted seeing him holding up his hand.
“I’ve a penchant for roses”, he drawled. “…but I draw line at having them in my garden, not in my conversations. As it is, I’ve blabbered enough flowery talk today to last a lifetime. Do a favor and spare me the roses and thorns language. You know you don’t need to hide behind metaphors to talk to me.”
Huh! She barely fell short of banging her head against her knees. Here she’s going to strip her soul naked for first time and she doesn’t even get a veil to guard herself?!
Jalal blinked his eyes, assuring that he wasn’t ignorant to the predicament she is in and encouraging her to pick up the spirit. When she gestured to her heart pointing at its flaws, the unprepared man was taken aback. For a moment he doubted if that came from the awareness of the danger she was in, wondering if that was the reason for her uncharacteristic staidness too… but his intelligence ruled it out as impossible option. Really, who’s going to call her at One o’ clock in the night and say –‘Hi, hello... how are you? By the way your parents were murdered, and the murderer is stalking you too.” He then surmised it should be about the dread she combated with in past one hour and he knew how difficult it is, especially for the strong-willed ones, to admit their apprehensions to another person. Yet, he insisted on a candid talk because one – he had to establish transparency between them once and forever and two - he had to figure out her state of mind without ambiguity, if he were to divulge the truth.
Steady silence befell while they inspected each other and when Jalal almost believed his silent persuasion is not going to be sufficient, Jodha let her eyes drop to her lap. “There are certain things about me you do not know.” She lowly announced amazing him.
“Fears, insecurities, apprehensions, quest”, her dewy lids rose to him. “…not in normal proportions like normal people possess. In daunting proportions.” To the awed listener, she appeared like a little girl forced to confess the chocolate stealth she committed. He so longed to pull her down to his lap and cup her face while she conceded but Jalal strenuously resisted the urge. “Phobias that defy logic and border on superstitions… so much so that I don’t permit anyone the use of name my father and brother used because its apocalyptic… to the level that it brings death. So much so that it sends negative vibes in me to talk of kulfi treat two days before your birthday because the birthday of Gautam after that conversation was the last one ever. So much so that when you don’t pick your phone for whatever reason, my mind simply adds one plus one and conclude that I lost you too to an accident. So much so that I forbid answering your call, even if it displayed your name… because my dingy panic believes it will be some anonymous voice that’d plummet me with the blasted news, like the constable did last year. The worst of all is the realization that this is just the beginning and this is how the rest of my life will be… panicking, praying, sanity Vs insanity at constant tiffs, the constant war to overcome it without becoming an imposing, constricting, suffocating individual… and in the process screwing up myself and all the people around me… and this is just the fear part… you don’t know the insecurities I harbor… scruples about my self-worth when I see Aliya with you or think of Aliya’s imprints in this home, in your life, in your business, on your parents, friends, relatives…the ceaseless competition I wage within suspecting if I will ever be good enough to replace her? Will I ever be truly accepted into your world or will I be snooted down at every chance, given our obvious differences? These are only a few of many more buried in here,” she unconsciously placed a hand on her heart. “Do you know that I was rejected in the marriage mart because my horoscope is deficient? The same horoscope which was once considered lucky is now baleful because accidents run in my family and that whoever marries me will derive the same fate. You have any idea how apprehensive that makes me?! Not knowing if that thing about horoscopes is truly true or was that an easy excuse to reject a girl without family or without whatever other standards I fall short of. To think that it could be used against me time and again in future… may be to the extent of becoming undeserving to you… and the quest… for that unquenching thirst for sibling love, parental protection, haven home… the unsatiating need to be loved and cherished with all my faults like my family did, the burden all those expectations would foist on you when you’re already burdened with multitude of responsibilities… how long would it be before you find me stifling? How long before you regard me a mistake you shouldn’t have committed? How long before your feelings turn into hatred or worse aversion?”
She stopped catching on her breath. It came in pants as if she finished a grueling dance rehearsal and her lids clammed shut waiting for the breathing to regularize.
There... she had done it!
She didn’t know what possessed her to bare her soul like that, or how she succeeded without shedding a drop of tear though they lingered at the tips of her lashes or when Jalal stood up poising against Jaguar, arms folded and eyes hooded, while she carried on with that stupid monologue.
Now what?! Jodha expected a wave of mortification to whoosh over and laden her, but nothing of that sort happened. On contrary, she felt lighter and a never before experienced experience unraveled … the sense of being LIBERATED!!
Phew…!
At least she’s gonna embark on this relationship as a clean slate. That is, if there were any relationship to begin with after all this!
~~~
So much for the decision to tell her the truth! Jalal sighed weary. If these rational fears are considered pitfalls, what’d she deem herself of, after knowing the peril she is in? Nemesis? Or Azrael, the agent of death?
He could deliver a hundred assurances, a thousand promises, negate her each word with one of his own or chastise her for even questioning the integrity of his feelings. But when did lengthy speeches become his style?
Pushing off from Jaguar, he kneeled before his girl and once again gave her the choice. “Long answer or short?”
Glancing straight at him, she made the obvious choice, because… why not?! She shouldn’t be the only one stripping her soul today. Where is fairness in that?!
“Long!” She declared and prepared herself for the rarity that she’s going to behold… a stream of statements, a nonstop speech from Mr.Miser-with-words but…
“MARRY ME!” He extended his hand, solemnly beholding her soul through her eyes. “I’ll spend the next fifty years answering your questions.”
Dhak…. dhak… dhak….dhak
Except for the racing beats, Jodha heard nothing. She blinked….and blinked again!
Slowly her spine straightened, the bow shaped brows shot up pulling the doe eyes along and her lips parted flashing white teeth and astonishment.
Marry me?!
“That is your long answer?!” Her eyelashes fluttered like butterflies.
“Yes… fifty years long!” His head angled in matter of fact.
Her brows quirked in utter daze. “What’d be the short one then?”
“I Love You. Period.”
Oh!
---
---
---
Oh!
If there were any jaw dropping moments earlier in her life, they were all ousted, most grandly by this one.
There... he had done it!
No grandiose ring, no romantic setting, no wearing heart on sleeve, no chivalrous pronouncement of feelings…! He had done it in the simplest, the plainest of ways expression of love went.
I love you. Period!
His voice as he had enunciated those four words resonated in his mind repeatedly. It’s there out… in the open now. There is no going back – no regression to boss-employee or family friends or whatever other relationships they had shared so far. She has to live with the knowledge that she is and will be his love, even if she doesn’t want to have him. He held no scruples for stunning her with his unprecedented confession or regrets for doing it so blandly nor nurtured any fear of rejection. It wasn’t that this is the first time he uttered those three cliché words; he had done it numerous times to himself but admitting it loud had had a never before experienced impact on him– the raw and pure surprise of belongingness or rather the lack thereof. With the bold admission, came the vivid knowledge who he now belongs to and the ecstacy that followed was a total shocker.
When did he develop this deep need to belong to someone… to be possessed by someone?! Wasn’t she the one to do all belonging talks? Weren’t relations to him like droplets on lotus leaf?! Being there and yet not really being there?! Then where did this craving to be owned by someone sprout from?! Is this that trifle chaffing his heart felt when he saw his father with his mother or Chetan with Smitha or Abdul with Sara?! When he proclaimed that he didn’t want to go alone to Four Wheels, was he speaking his innate desire and not just tricking her with sentiment?! So, all that ideology that relationships should be dealt in aloof, pragmatic way was only a farce he chose to shield him?! And the undeniable truth is that he is simply a pitiable lone soul seeking its companion… awaiting its completion?!
He was coming to terms with the shocking revelations that hit him like a bombshell when Jodha suddenly smiled.
“Fifty years?” She repeated, eyes shining bright with tears of bliss. “Sounds rather ambitious.”
“Not really,” he said with an equally endearing smile. “Eighty seems to be a decent figure to live through. Ninety sounds overtly ambitious, like you said.”
“Starting when?” She prodded with wiggle of brow and he gladly shrugged.
“I’ll leave that to you.”
“Today?” She wickedly threw the dare and when Jalal didn’t respond soon enough, she jabbed him, not leaving the chance to tease.
“What? Second thoughts already?”
He encountered her tease with a very serious notation. “Thinking which part of my fortune can lure the registrar to work at Two in the night, that too on a holiday? The guest house or the 5 acre plot or … well, don’t worry I’ll figure it out. If bribery doesn’t work, then we can try political influence, bureaucratic influence or …”
Ah! How very Jalal-ish!!
She laughed and then cried. The tears that were curtailed till then, freely dribbled down her cheeks, finding no more adamant leashes to hold on to. At that exact moment, she also discovered that she could safely entrust all her fears, insecurities, apprehensions, quest and her soul with him…for the rest of her life. He will either provide pronto solutions like he did in the evening and doing now or…
He. Will. Become. The. Solution!
“… police or revenue department..”
Jalal was still enlisting his colossal modes of influences when the liberated girl leapt at him, knocking him off his feet. Ecstatically laughing, Jalal gathered her in his arms, bundle of silk and soft flesh and all, lifted her off that last step, bolstered against Jaguar and offered her the most significant of all her asks– the haven of home.
“You told me to come home,” he whispered right into her ear. “So did I.”
And she seconded that with a very unladylike sound, a fusion of chuckles and sobs and delved deeper into his heart, warming his wet shirt with her hot tears.
“I feared I lost you. I thought I’d die a lone spinster. I grieved that I didn’t tell you what you meant to me or how much you fill the void in my life. I raged against all divine forces for doing this to me. I was afraid and renounced you in bargain with fate for your safety. Then I didn’t know what to do with my life... you made me shxt crazy you know…”
“I’ll make sure the entire world calls you Meenu and let’s see how apocalyptic that could get. I’ll let you treat me to kulfi every day, though, truth be told, I’m not very enthusiastic about it. Kulfi talks will never give you negative vibes again. I’ll not step out of home after Nine any day, so you don’t have to wait on me or my call and go crazy. You think I’m the type to give a damn about horoscopes and all that lousy stuff?! I could run the douchebags who rejected you to ground but I won’t, because I owe them. Had any one of them had said yes, I wouldn’t have met you. And what’s with that stupid comparison with Aliya? How frigging idiotic you must be to even think of it?! I can happily throttle your neck for this. Remember this once for all… You are not Aliya. You’re my love, my companion of the forever types and the sweetest idiot I want to grow old with and die a happy man. About your quest for love, I’ve a secret of mine to share… You always talked about the hankering to belong to someone, but you know what...? I just realized I covet it equally or probably tad bit more than you. It’s shocking that I harbored this yearning to be possessed by you, to be owned by you, for you to announce to the world –‘Jalal is mine. You all women back off!’ Such maudlin feelings… yeah…I know… which is why I stub them in me for now… but someday…while you’re changing nappies for our grandchildren, I’ll simply kiss you and tell you how mawkish you had turned me into in one night...”
None of them spoke their minds out. She kept weeping and silently griping to his heart, and he kept combing his fingers through her hair and cooing hush sounds.
~~~
Few more flashes of lightening, a couple of thunders and one near thunderbolt later, the nature settled for the night. Except for the steady hiccups from the sobbing girl, the blanket of tranquility had entrenched around the couple offering its lull. Sometime after three minutes of inconsolable weeping, Jalal stopped cooing and simply held her, letting her sobs dwindle in their own course. Her entire form had nestled between his drawn legs, absorbing the dampness of his clothes and exchanging her body heat with him. When her silent cries mutated to hiccups, his firm palm on her spine acted as a shock absorber, consuming the convulsions and minimizing the juddering of her body. He awaited another minute before bringing his mouth close to her ear and ask huskily. “Not intending to stop you but… one clarification?! You sure, you aren’t crying at the idea of marrying me, right?”
His jest hit its mark garnering a crackling noise of laugh filled hiccup. Playfully, Jodha nodded in yes against his chest.
“Ah… don’t worry. It won’t be that bad.” His palm slithered farther down. “May I offer a sample for you to try so that you make an informed decision?” His finger dug into the tight binding of Sari petticoat on her lower back and gently scraped the crinkled skin. Jodha’s body visibly jerked, not out of hiccups but out of the fervor his touch ignited.
Chuckling, she rose from his chest, grappled his collar and pointed a hand-pistol to his heart. “Hands up. Put” :hiccup: “…your hands where I can see.”
“Very well cop.” The Lucifer’s incarnate slyly yielded. “I didn’t know handcuffs were your style. Not complaining though, you know. Just a little surprised.”
“What style and..” :hiccup: “..what cuffs?”
Her ignorant question inspired the brazen man to demonstrate. “Like this,” he planted his hands on either side of his head. “You ground them with cuffs and then… I’m at your service while you have your way with me ma'm.”
At first Jodha observed with genuine inquisition striving to assimilate what he’s showing and to her chagrin, she discerned it only after he said - ‘your way’.
Whattt…?! People do that?
Her pupils dilated, pulse hiked, and the hiccups met their untimely demise.
Exactly how much adult knowledge is there that she didn’t know?
The genuine surprise on her face induced incertitude in the observant man. “Sweetheart…” he quirked a doubtful brow. “How much do you know about what happens between a man and a woman?”
“Oh.. I know that alright.” Jodha dismissed, abashedly pulling his hands down. “Not the ways you’re talking about though.”
“Thank God.” He sighed in mock gratitude. His hands went around her waist once again, searching for specific unclothed portions. “And where exactly is this knowledge coming from?”
“10th grade science textbook,” she swatted at his hands. “8th chapter - Human Reproductive System and…” she forcibly brought his palms up and interlaced her fingers with his to safely keep them away from getting naughty. “…and married friends.”
“10th grade textbook?” He stared incredulous and broke out laughing. “Can it get any saintlier?!”
The offended girl rolled eyes at his derision. “Or else? Where do you think a sheltered girl raised in a family where the letters s, e and x are not even spoken together, who doesn’t have a boyfriend and has equally dumb friends who doesn’t read erotic literature or watch it on online, will gather her knowledge from? If you’re done with your sneering, can we talk about more important things you forgot to tell me… like whatever got you delayed and drenched?”
He fondly yanked forward their entwined palms till their foreheads touched. “It wasn’t mockery.” He blew an affectionate kiss to her nose. “Feeling honored and delighted that you left that part of learning to me, Sweetheart.” Heat surged to her face envisioning the intimacy she is entitled to share with him. He’s right in terming it ‘honor’ because how privileged she is that she gets to know his body and soul in a way that no other women ever got to know despite all their reveries. And the same with her – she’s going to let him behold the side of her that no other human ever got to descry. Jalal’s forehead scorched from her hot skin and he withdrew his palms from hers.
“You’re hot.” He winked rowdyish, slipping his hands to the sides of her hips. “And I’m cold. Help me.” Glowing with crimson spots, Jodha pushed her body away from him and returned to the porch step. “You made me soak in wetness already. I’m not taking any more of it from you. Let’s get back to our…”, she stalled noticing his effort at making a poker face. “Huh! What now?”
Jalal shook his head, reprimanding himself for the guilty pleasure he partook in the innuendos she naively spoke. “Nothing. But do you really want to talk here? On the porch? Not inside, after we change into something warm?” Not trusting his ‘nothing’ for a second, Jodha made a mental note to revisit the ribaldry, if any in her statement later in privacy and casted him a measuring glance.
“Actually, I want to hear your reasons first and then decide if you deserve an entry into home or not.”
Oh…now he has to earn an entry to his own home?!
Jalal crocheted an amused brow. “What if you are not convinced?” He enquired and Jodha substantially gesticulated her head towards Jaguar.
“Sleep with your better half.”
“God help me.” The unperturbed man chuckled and opened his left arm, not liking the loss of her proximity. “I very much planned to sleep with my best half tonight.”
Biting on her lower lip, the cherubic lady relinquished to his open arm invitation, albeit with a warning. “If you get naughty, be aware you should sleep in your beast, no matter what your reasons are!”
“Such a strict matron!” Jalal quipped and insolently enjoined his arms at her lower back, sneakily evading the silk covering. Unable to help loving his audacity, Jodha simply surrendered and followed the suit. She trailed her fingers up his spine, beneath the wet shirt and started caressing random spots on his back. Pleased and roused, Jalal adjusted her placement on his lap, hoping the transformation in his anatomy wouldn’t alarm and provoke her to rein in fondling.
“The Inorbit Mall’s hoarding at crossroads got me delayed.”
He explained her how he had gotten down to check the cause and stretch of the jammed traffic, how the hoarding that had fell across a passing car’s bonnet blocked the road completely, how the driver had escaped at nick of time, how the public had tried to make a passage while the police took their own sweet time to show up, how he had to add a helping hand to shove the blasted thing aside, how he didn’t realize fifty minutes had ticked away in the process, and how the police and Municipal Corporation finally arrived and took care of the situation.
By the end of it, the bewildered listener sighed, not knowing which reaction to exhibit first. Gratitude to Baba for keeping Jalal away and the driver safe from the accident or resentment at Municipal corporation and Inorbit Mall for installing the hoarding with apparent lack of standards or frustration at Jalal for forgetting to inform her, or pride that he chose to help than to wait comfortably in his car.
Whatever! She nestled into his neck, speaking nothing. The beginning was rough, but it ended well for them…so no complaints there! Except for the pity party and the candles that might have… shxt!!
She shot up in reawakened memory. “I can’t believe I forgot to say this after having waited for so long.” With an endearing smile, she cupped his cheek and brushed her nose against his. “Happy Birthday!”
She pulled back, lowered her lids in introspection and a few beats thereafter, she peeked up. Her bright eyes bore into his while she shifted in his lap, winked at him as he looked surprised by her straddle and tilted her neck to an angle.
“Happy Birthday to you...” Her lips warmly pressed against his and sealed the deal for a lifetime. “…and to us!”
Wow! The enamored boss lounged leisurely against his car, basking in the love his woman showered. He didn’t relent to his body’s demand to grip her nape and indulge in more of her affection. Instead, he let his heart fill to its verge of bliss from the steady inflow of ardor she lavished. When she paused, uncertain of how to proceed after parting his lips with the tip of her tongue, Jalal smiled and trailed his mouth to her ear.
“May I?”
He sought her permission to coach and seeing her grant it with a shy nod, his hands took their respective positions – one on her nape, the other at her back and prepped her for the first lesson of passion.
“You like strawberries?” His thumb rasped the silky expanse of her neck and his voice turned heavy matching the smoldering in his eyes. The enraptured woman was slow to answer, being busy deciphering the tantalizing sensations that burdened her heart with extra beats and at the same time made her body light like a feather.
“A little.”
“Just a little?! That’s sad.” He tch-ed, running his thumb over her lower lip. “I love them.” He shortened the distance between their mouths by another half inch and sheepishly whispered. “When I’m done, your liking is going to rise from a little to a lot!”
With that he took over the role of perfervid mentor and demonstrated the exquisite process of devouring strawberries, repeated and re-repeated the demo, encouraged her to play back the knowledge transitioned and evaluated her till his amateur student graduated in flying colors.
At the end of it, she not only liked strawberries a lot more than she did before, like he promised, but her lips also restored the luster they lost, fully and doubly, proudly avouching his verdict.
No rose can hold a candle to mine!
~~~
TBC...
Edited by hemakeerti - 4 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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