~~~~~~Roses and thorns~~~~~~~
"I have to see her today!!" The pace of the majestic emperor's gait mirrored his determination. "It's been five days since I got a glimpse of her. If Moti is going to stop me again, I'll deport her immediately to Amer!!" he firmly decided. It's been five days since his Rajput begum recovered from deathbed; he still couldn't believe the extent of adamancy she can go on to prove her point. Had it been any other begum, they'd have ordered their maids to take the poison, if proving their candor is the only objective. But she, his stubborn fearless wife, gulped it all in a go and that triumphant smile before her lids closed - Mashallah, this woman never fails to amaze me!!
With grace of the Almighty his prayers were answered and he got her back, lest he should have led a guilt-ridden lifeless life till his last breath. He's peacefully breathing and living a normal life from last five days only because he was sure she's revived and breathing. Ammijan, Ruquaih, Salima, Bakshi gave him regular updates of her health, but every time he scheduled a visit, he was stopped at the entrance by Moti. Be it early in the morning or mid noon or late night, any time he arrived at her room he was forbidden entrance on pretext that his wife is resting and she didn't want any disturbance. While every single human in the harem was able to talk to her, why couldn't he get a glimpse of her?? Is it merely coincidental or...??
His thoughts scattered as he neared her chamber, to his luck, he found no signs of Moti around. The soldiers in duty obediently bowed him and were about to announce his arrival, when he hastily shushed them up. He didn't want to alert any one and welcome a failure again.
"Please stop there Shehanshah!!" Dazed by the sudden order, his foot that was about to step into Jodha's chamber automatically retreated. His gaze stiffened to rebuke Moti, but to his surprise, it wasn't Moti. It is SHE, the most sought out woman graciously walking towards him, but why the hell is she veiled under a dupatta too opaque to even reveal a glimpse of her??
"Pranam shehanshah!!" she folded hands with respect and he returned the greeting. "Her voice was never this musical before," he confirmed. "It's no less than a blithe to see her, hear from her after the deadly massacre!!"
"How are you Jodha begum?" his voice echoed care and affection. "Good... sound... alive!!" the underlying coldness in her reply didn't fail reaching him. Is she upset with me? Why is she behaving strange?? Did she misconceive that I haven't come to visit at all for five days?"
"Glad that you're fine!!" he softly smiled, "I've been here every day to visit you, but since you were taking rest, I had to leave without disturbing you!!" he patiently explained while she remained silent.
"Thank God you recovered completely Jodha begum, but you shouldn't have risked ...", wondering why she refrained him from walking in, he tried to walk forward when her voice reverberated again, in a low volume. "I'm sorry... but you can't come in Shehanshah!!"
"Why?" baffled by her assertion, he asked bewildered. Flatly staring at him through the veil, the queen instructed. "Ekanth!!" All the soldiers and dasis promptly left the place gifting them privacy and the couple stood fixed till the rest evacuated.
"Tell me why I can't step into this room," without any ado, his Excellency demanded.
"You are asking me why?" the unperturbed empress prodded with a tinge of sarcasm. "I don't think Shehanshah's memory is so short..." her arms crossed depicting defiance, "...but if you're urging to hear from me, let me remind. It is you who swore not step into this room or see my face even if I were to breathe last Shehanshah!!"
He got it!! His restricted entry for last five days, her masked face, he now got every bit of it and he smirked; he couldn't help wondering the valor and pride of his Rajvanshi queen.
"I'm Shehanshah-e-hind Jodha begum," he haughtily sniggered. "I can go anywhere in this kingdom and harem. No rules or swears can stop me, not even the ones I made!!"
"Of course...", she sardonically accepted, "...but what an example a king is setting to his people by defying his own rules!!"
"Well... if you are so concerned about rules," he sheepishly paused. "Lets keep it your way.. I'll not step into this chamber... but you'll not live here either. I'll get you shifted to the one adjacent to mine!!"
"Why do you want that?" the piqued queen retorted, "When you so hate to see me!!"
Hate?? Isn't it the opposite that HE has for HER?
"Hate??" he gravely roared. "Remember who hated whom Jodha begum. It is you who loathed my touch, my presence and me. It is you who nudged me out of this very chamber. With my statement, I only made it easier for you!!"
"I didn't push you out", the affected queen immediately responded. "You're too intoxicated that day to handle yourself and I wasn't prepared for what you intended to do. It was a meek impulsive reflex, but since you're heavily drunk the result was immense."
"You weren't prepared?" he seriously averred. "After sending me a message to visit you, you say this?"
"I never sent such message Shehanshah," she impatiently condemned. "I told you then and I repeat now... kanha ka kasam... my letter was only a gratitude note. It contained no invitation from me!!"
He looked on contemplative. "She has to be right. A woman with guts to end her life wouldn't lie over a petty matter," he assessed. "But it's Badiammijaan who read it out to me? Why would she lie? Or is there a conspiracy behind it??" He decided to revisit the matter latter. For now, he has to sort out what's going on with his feisty queen.
"Okay fine", he gracefully agreed. "I take it that you weren't prepared then..." he teasingly added, "Are you prepared now?"
"Huh?? How smart??" The enraged wife gritted under breath. "Any statement... he deduces to a conclusion of his favor!!"
"No!" she stubbornly refused. "A husband and wife's relation should be based on love and trust. You neither love me nor trust me, so no point in our discussion Shehanshah." Though she blurted it, she grew dubious of her own remark. "Doesn't he love me? He never admitted it, but how can my eyes deceive me? The spark, the tenderness with which he sees me every time, what should it be named? Ammijaan, Salima begum and Moti narrated the HAVOC he created since her eyes closed after consuming poison. They told how he solicited the awaam to pray for her revival and when she did, didn't she witness his happiness, grief and relief? What he feels for me is definitely something beyond a luscious desire for my body; else he wouldn't go to the extent of praying to Kanha to save me!! And trust?? He didn't trust me in the beginning, but overtime, didn't he build up faith in me, just like I did?? He helped me out when I was framed pregnant, believed to an extent when I accused Benazir, it was only his anger that overlapped faith," her intuition argued. "BUT... why did he say he wouldn't see my face even if I die? He needn't be that rude!!" her ego snapped back.
"Trust and love," he mockingly laughed. "Shouldn't it be mutual Jodha begum?" he cross-countered. "Did you forget how our relation started?" he pointed straight. "Let me help you recollect then. It was you who loathed me from first day of our marriage Jodha begum; in fact, you always hated me, even before we faced each other. After our wedding, my every reaction was only an outcome of your actions. You didn't want me to touch you, you've no interest in talking to me, forget talking, you abhorred my presence in your chamber... remember what you told Ruquaih on day of my return to Agra," his sharp gaze pierced her. How could she forget?? In her insane anger, she requested Ruquaih to keep HIM away from her!!
"All these days along... I never exerted my rights on you as a husband, I only tried to fulfill my duties!!" his arms royally folded back. "I stuck to my promises, I didn't force myself on you, attempted to befriend you in all possible ways, but you're the one to remain aloof Jodha begum. You despised me, my people and this palace so much that when your Maasa denied welcoming you back in Amer, you resorted to suicide than living here. True that I thought of sending you back to Amer, but not because I disliked your presence. If Amer is your happiness, I have no issues in obliging it. I don't care what others think, I only want you to be happy wherever you are," he halted breathing deep. "And you seem to have the most unpredictable mood swings Jodha begum. I don't understand why you cooked for me, what you meant when you said you don't hate me anymore and all of a sudden sent an invite to your chamber. As you say, it could have been a misconception, but didn't you find a poised way of explaining it? Do you think I'm so crooked to force myself on a disinterested woman? Your dhakka is indeed an insult and I have zero tolerance for insult of any kind," his voice thundered and her heart disarticulated in fright.
"To all my actions after that I don't owe an explanation to anyone," his ego roared, "I came here to know how you are doing. I see that you're sound enough to argue and fight, so I take your leave," with a serious aadab, he turned to leave.
"What do you do if someone touches or attacks your Ammijaan Shehanshah?" in a haste to stop him, she hurriedly blurted. To her relief, he turned back. His brows crudely knitted!!
"I see their end!!" he flatly stated and she smiled behind the veil.
"Right...", mustering the confidence to face him, she coldly remarked. "That was what, we the Rajvanshis, were taught too. This country, this land is our mother and from childhood we're taught to detest any intruder who fantasizes to touch it, seize it and I was no different Shehanshah," she sighed. "I was grown up hating Mughals and their devilish shadow over my country, over my culture. Rajputs love their freedom; hold their self-esteem high and we prefer dying than compromising. Being a girl of same nature, can you imagine what goes through me when I realized I was traded to the clan I hate the most in name of marriage?" pain filled her eyes, but the mask on her face shielded it from his vision.
"Its very true that I always hated you Shehanshah, the Shehanshah of Hindustan Jalal-uddin-Mohammad and the stories of his heartless and ruthless thirst for power. How could anyone dream I'd willingly marry the man whom I was taught to hate and only hate from childhood?? This alliance, our relation none of them had my consent; I was only forced into it. Everyone had their respective gains out of this marriage shehanshah; to my father, it's his state. A state safe and free from Mughal terror and to you, a POLITICAL WIN over Rajputs!! But what did I gain out of this marriage? A completely new culture, a heartless, tenacious husband in whose life I'm an unwelcomed guest and hundreds of women to compete with!! Moreover when you already profited out of this marriage, why should I allow you to gain more by submitting myself? I knew you'd never love a Hindu wife, as this wedding was a mere deal, once you claim my body, you wouldn't even look back at me. So I decided to benefit out of this marriage in my own way and the only benefit I could fathom is PRIDE!! A pride of preserving my chastity by not allowing a Mughal to lay his hands on me!!"
The emperor attentively listened to his queen's stance. They've been married for months, but for the first time she's talking her heart out. Though he was happy with the transformation, it was also painful to know how much she hated him.
"To keep up my pride, I was rude to you, infuriated you, defied you and to me everything I did was right then," she continued. "But seeing you strictly adhere to your promises amidst all adversaries, I had to revisit my attitude towards you. The few days I spent with you in Amer introduced me to the humanitarian side of you and when Ammijaan told me of your childhood, I discerned your predicament. I fathomed that your thirst for power is an outcome of the struggle for life, the battle for breath you endeavored as a child against your close relatives. With time, as I discovered more about you, I realized that you only pretend as an invulnerable mountain, but beneath it lays a river of emotions. Agree it or not, you have a heart as pure and precious as a pearl Shehanshah, but one should infiltrate through the shell to acquire it!!"
"How well did she discover me!!" the emperor's heart began to beat for her.
"As I already said, I don't hate you any more!!" her head lowered in shy and respect. "And I meant no insult either, that day it was only a reflex. Please excuse me for that!!"
"If not hate, what do you have for me Jodha begum!!" without letting the opportunity go, he impishly smirked. She's opening up to him for the first time, and how can he miss the chance without making her blurt completely.
"Doesn't he know what I have for him?" provoked by his smartness, she hissed. "As if he hasn't discerned the glow in my eyes, the willingness in my talk and the jealousy in my heart!!", she fumed behind the veil. "And if he never voiced his feelings for me, why should I?"
Scrupulously staring at him, she twisted her words. "What I have for you is the same what you have for me Shehanshah!!" By that statement, she meant love and respect, but HE being the master player tuned it again in his favor.
"If you feel the same what I feel for you," he impishly retarded. "..you wouldn't forbid my entrance like this Jodha begum!!" His teasing smirk disclosed his devilish intentions and she couldn't help blaming Kanha for bestowing such a theda man as her husband.
"It's your oath that forbade your entry to my chamber Shehanshah," she mockingly reminded. "Not me!!"
"Aah.. if that is all your objection, " he advanced a step, "..then let me inform, I breached that oath six days ago when I carried you in MY ARMS to this room," he didn't forget to stress on my arms.
"But I was unconscious then," she cleverly snapped back extending her arms to block his way. "How can I let my husband break his oath when I am fully conscious?? Don't I know how strict you are about your promises??" a teasing smile danced on her lips. "You took that pledge before my Kanha, so you have to take it back before him. Only after that you can normally walk into my chamber!!"
"Get his statue out then..", he coolly shrugged, but she denied. "Once established, a murti shouldn't be disarticulated."
Now it seemed like a challenge!! She's challenging his own words and he is not the one to back off!! Who knows?? Winning this challenge might lead HIM to winning HER!!
"Fine then.. as you say!!" resolved to take up the challenge, he retreated and disappeared in swift strides. She looked on tensed and disappointed!! Is he angry? Did I foolishly upset him? What if he never comes back? A hundred questions racked her mind as she stood still watching the doorway.
Two minutes later, to her daze, he returned with a pole. "What are you doing Shehanshah?" seeing him taking position and keenly estimating the distance, she asked baffled.
"The same what you challenged me to do!!" he graciously answered. Her eyes widened in amazement and a moment later she burst out laughing. Imagining the emperor of Hindustan jumping into her room with a pole was damn hilarious.
"You can't do this!!" speeding out of the entrance, she snatched the pole out of his hand and ran back before he caught her. Pulling the displaced veil down, she faced him again. "I know you're a skilled warrior, but please restrict these feats to war field. If you hit something in the process, all your begums will jointly tangle my neck!!"
"Give it back Jodha begum.. I can handle my safety", he commanded but she playfully refused throwing it aside. He gaped on thinking of an alternative while his eyes glued to his wife's dainty form. Clad in a green and yellow ghaghra, her skin is radiantly gleaming. The last time he saw her she was on bed - blanched, withered and exhausted waging a war between life and death. To his dismay, he didn't get a glimpse of her thereafter and a profound urge to immediately see her smiling doe eyes, blush red cheeks and quivering lips surged his body.
Taking a few steps back, he clapped loud for an attendant. In no time, a soldier came running for his service. The emperor whispered something to his ears and ordered to be quick, while his queen looked on curious. What is he up to now?? In no time, the servant returned with two step stools, placed one at his feet and stood skeptical of not knowing where to place the other.
"Leave it there and you go!!" he dismissed the soldier off. "Listen.. don't let any one in, I won't tolerate a disturbance!!" he strictly ordered and the attendant bowed in obedience.
"Jodha begum," once the soldier left, he gently called his wife. "Place that stool there," climbing on to the one at his feet, he instructed to position the second one at a feet distant. And she discerned his scheme - a safe and easy trick to win the challenge. Alas, how could she let him win so easily??
Biting back a lip, she positioned the second stool three feet apart from him and crossed her arms in challenge; he darted a dragon glare at her. "If he's not going to make her pay for this, he's not Jalal-uddin-mohammad, Shehanshah-e-hind", swearing under breath, he meticulously evaluated the distance and to the viewer's astonishment, took a long jump thus promptly landing on the destination.
Sealing her lips in conviction, she fetched the first stool and placed in his way, this time, four feet away. However, he wasn't surprised, he expected this to happen!! Smirking at her temper, his feet took off, only for a perfect landing again. He mischievously looked on, while the frenzied queen cursed his skills.
Needless to say, the distance Jalal had to cross increased by another feet as he braced for the third jump. By the time he smoothly finished the task, Jodha was so strikingly infuriated at his prowess that she crankily placed the stool ten feet away. In her rage, she failed to notice the place where she kept the stool, it was right before her bed.
"Argh.. I'm so sorry for not understanding your desperation Jodha begum!! Very bad of me wasting time with silly games", his conniving innocence made her look back and she cringed in embarrassment. Patting on forehead, the abashed wife quickly lifted the stool up.
Positioning it before Kanha's mandir, she pompously provoked. "You succeeded till now because the challenge was too lame for Shehanshah-e-hind. This last trial is going to decide the winner!!" She was confident of her victory as the distance between him and target is seven feet and it is impossible to jump so long from a still state.
The shrewd emperor discerned his egoistic wife isn't playing fair - the distance is too long to be covered in a single leap, but not for HIM, not for the ultimate emperor who's BORN TO WIN!! "If I win, what am I going to get in return Jodha begum?" he teasingly prodded.
"Anything you ask for!!" she confidently promised.
"Be prepared then!!" with a treacherous grin, he tossed into air. To her astonishment his body didn't travel towards the temple, instead it landed on a couch two feet away from him. Whilst she looked on puzzled, his feet jumped on to a side table and then on the bed. She fathomed his trick and perceived her awaiting defeat. With an eight feet pavilion to run and take a leap, his win became a cakewalk. She couldn't help admire her husband's smartness. As she stood defeated, he mockingly raised his brows preparing for the final exertion.
With a brisk run and a swift jump, he's a few seconds afar from victory when the conniving queen resorted to cheating. At the nick of moment, when he's about to step on to stool, her feet quickly pushed it aside depriving him of victory. But in her nescience, she forgot that GOD favors only the fair!! In a split of second the discreet man racked his body to step on to a plate full of flowers before the temple - he nearly succeeded when his left foot touched the flowers but the acceleration of his body made him lose balance. "Shehanshah," throwing up the veil, the worried wife hurriedly advanced to brace him, but her petite form was too small to support her husband's hefty masculine torso. Thereby her feet stuttered and they tripped together on to ground, but he ensured to clutch her tight and cover her head to save it from a hit.
"Aah..", strangely the man on the top screamed louder whilst the lady in his arms silently winced over his weight. "Aaah..", he screamed again startling her out of blue.
"Shh.. shehanshah..", she hastily closed his mouth literally shushing him up. "I'm down, you're up!! Why are you shouting when I should be the one to actually scream!! Stop screaming, we don't need an audience," she innocently angered blissfully ignorant of the slyness in her statement. But the wicked husband rightly deduced it and smiled in mischief. "Thorns Jodha begum," his lips moved behind her fingers. As the ticklish sensation created goose bumps, she quickly removed her palm from his mouth. "What did you say Shehanshah?" her parched throat murmured.
"Thorns jodha begum..", he repeated. "The bed of roses is very delightful but two thorns badly pricked me," he stated with all innocence while she looked on perplexed. Where are roses and thorns here?? What is he blabbering??
"You mean those flowers?" she naively directed to the plate of flowers he stepped on. "But those are marigolds, how come they have thorns?" The amused man fondly stared at his feisty, stubborn yet innocent wife. The five days of anxiety, disquietude and edginess he went through was finally paid of. His Rajvanshi begum is always named for her beauty, but that moment, he found her exceptional. It's not the open hair or the jewelry that beautified her, but it is the recouped spirit in her eyes that made her exceptional. He can see her angry, aloof or unbothered but not lifeless. It was a fact he fathomed the moment she drank poison and lifelessly sank in his arms.
"What Shehanshah?" she shyly smiled perceiving the pain and affection in his gaze. In response, his finger traced from her temple to cheek removing a lock of hair. "How are you Jodha!!" he softly whispered.
"Pretty well..", she smiled in assurance. "But if you lay on me like this for five more minutes, I'm sure I'm going to lose all the strength I gained in last five days," innocently, she again delivered a wrong message. It was his impacting weight crushing her bones that she meant, but it also carried another message under current. Chuckling at her naive wry wits, the smitten husband teased. "If only you realized what you just said Jodha..", he fondly pulled her nose.. "Let it be!! Declare me as winner, then I'll get up!!"
"Aise kaise shehanshah.. your feet touched the ground before you took back your oath, so you lost it!!" she adamantly denied. "Is it?" his brows raised in mock surprise, "I thought my feet were here!" his toes brushed against the anklet on her left foot sending shudders all over her body. Involuntarily her lids shut and her arm fastened round his waist.
"What happened Jodha?" huskily whispering near her ear, his nose drew patterns on her temple. "huh..", her breathe raced and eyes squeezed to the tightest level possible. Lifting his torso a bit up, he dotingly watched his effect on her. Few moments later, she slowly opened her eyes and her arm that snaked round his waist slightly loosened. With a triumphant smirk, the victorious husband playfully raised a brow as in will-you-accept-the-defeat-now?? And his defeated wife's cheeks turned the shade of red of a rising Sun.
"YOU WON SHEHANSHAH!!" bowing her head in submission, she accepted her defeat.
"I KNOW JODHA!!" embracing her with overwhelmed love, his lips lowered onto her head. After all the hurdles, he finally WON HER!!
Three hours later
"Uff..", she gently puffed a few daring locks of his hair that fell on his forehead disturbing his sleep. It is late midnight, the harem succumbed to pin drop silence, her husband is fast asleep, but she couldn't bat a lid - it seemed sleep disowned her. With her head barely apart from his, she had been staring at him for long and the task was never boring. Her thoughts rewound to their conversation three hours before.
After she admitted his win, neither he voiced what he wanted as winning trophy nor she questioned, as both of them very well knew the answer. And blissfully the answer was agreeable to both!! But somewhere deep in her heart, a pang of insecurity throbbed her. When his mouth reached to her lips after dampening her eyes and cheeks, she could no longer refrain.
"Shehanshah..", she softly called as pain overlapped the passion in her eyes, he looked on attentively. "Promise me to make this the most memorable night of my life," she humbly implored cupping his cheeks. "In case this is the only night you intended to award me, please make it so memorable that it imparts me a reason to breathe till last breath." At her request, his heart tugged!! That moment she appeared far different from his unyielding, confident, ferocious wife; she appeared a fragile insecure wife skeptical of her love, life and future. His fist sized heart seemed too small to bear the inundating affection and warmth, thence, his lips compassionately kissed her eyes.
Slowly getting up from her, he extended his hand. Baffled by sudden change in him, she stood up with his support. Wrapping an arm round her shoulders, he positioned her before Kanha. Assuredly smiling at her, he turned to the statue and bowed in reverence; folding her hands, she followed his gesture. As she continued praying Kanha with closed eyes, she felt a warm touch on her forehead.
Before HER opened lids was HE, smiling to her eyes with brimming love adorning the partition of her head with Sindhoor. He's promising before Kanha that she's his wife forever, with a single gesture he thrashed all her insecurities - her eyes filled with tears, tears of ecstasy and euphoria. "This is my promise Jodha!!" he pledged. Tossing an ethereal smile, she devotedly bent to touch his feet and his hand lovingly laid on her head. Lifting her up and locking her head to his heart he possessively commanded. "And you promise me not to think of ending your life again, not even in dreams!!" Gleefully nodding, her hand hovered over his heart. Today she is truly wedded to him. Muh dikhayi, saath phere, sindhoor, exchanging vows they repeated all rituals of wedding albeit in their own way.
---
He didn't say how much he loved her, neither did she!! But his gentleness and care while taking over her, her willingness and yearn while surrendering to him explained it all. Snapping out of thoughts, she looked at him again - the serenity and innocence on his sleeping face reminded her of his childhood and her heart winced. Fighting for life and sleeping in war camp at an age when one should be under cuddled warmth of his parents, "huh" she painfully sighed caressing his cheek. How she wished she could curb all those dreadful memories out of him!!
"Aah Jodha.. not again," the wicked husband murmured in sleep holding her fingers on his cheek.. "I'm deadly exhausted.. you took the life out of me..", he pretended horrified and her mouth opened agape. "How devilish," freeing her hand from his grasp, she pinched his arm hard. "Who compelled whom in name of compensation for all missed nights..", her fingers mightily twisted his skin. Grinning at her assault, the impish emperor opened his eyes pulling his wife close. "What are you thinking?" playing with her side locks he asked. "Nothing..", she snuggled into his chest and he laughed loud. "When a woman says nothing, it means definitely something dangerous is running in her mind Jodha!!" he witted and she sardonically sniggered. "Should she be happy or sad that her husband is an expert woman-body-and-mind-reader??"
"When you tripped and fell on me," she suddenly remembered, "you said roses and thorns, I didn't get that Shehanshah?" with innocence personified, she lifted her head up seeking answer. He bit back a lip!!
"By bed of roses..", his fingers teasingly tapped her bare waist. "I meant your soft body..", he naughtily grinned.. "and thorns are your..", he seductively whispered to her ears. "cheee...", deeply blushing at his wry wit, she hid herself in him. Giggling more, the love-smitten husband set out to cut down one more night in his impending count.
Though the astute emperor tricked her with the answer, he had a different meaning altogether behind his remark. When he said delightful bed of roses, he referred to his life journey with her and the two thorns that pricked him were her EGO and HATRED. Blithely, their life thereafter very much symbolized a bed of roses and thorns, but through thick and thin.. through roses and thorns.. they supported each other and stayed together.. FOREVER!!
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