Cheating has a reason? Really? - Page 3

Cheating is only justified if your husband or wife is a drug addict who is ruining your life leaving you emotionally scarred or beats you up. I know people in terribly abusive relationships emotionally who ended up 'cheating' but I would call that escaping tbh. In this show there is no way cheating is justified.

Originally posted by: Tani91

That's exactly what I thought of as well, the Rani-Abhishek characters in KANK. I never understood why anyone would leave such a wonderful guy (granted he was childish) and the same situation as Adi's IMO. Adi seems to love Pooja but he was never in love with her and Pooja realized that.

However that doesn't excuse the fact that she cheated and caused so much distress if someone is unhappy in a marriage the. It's best to end it rather than cheat and cause the other person pain

Originally posted by: athai

Hi...I am usually a silent reader but yesterday's episode got me engaged.I doubt the writers are trying to justify cheating, they are probably just giving us an insight into Pooja's mind that she felt she didn't have what she wanted out of her marriage with Adi.As is a common saying,human beings or any living beings are not monogamous by nature:the society through culture and religion cultivate our personality so that we behave in a monogamous way. If you give enough space to someone while you have a partner, there is always a chance that you will become attracted to that individual too.Fidelity is not instinctive,it is a decision we all make. People who cheat choose to cheat.Period.There is no excuse for it.But our traditional belief are cheaters have no feelings,no emotions,they very strategically choose to hurt someone, but is that really the case though? They are also ordinary people who make choices; choices which end up hurting people but it doesn't necessarily mean they are some devil reincarnated. Probably that is what the writers are trying to bring to light. Pooja was just an ordinary girl who thought she didn't get the marriage she had expected and ended up creating a space for someone else in her life which she should not have.Once she had given the other person that space,falling in love with that individual was probably unavoidable given that she was not content with the life she had. Contentment,again,is an individual decision.People choose to be content;Pooja didn't. Whether she had communicated her discontent with Adi or not,well,maybe she had and he didn't understand or notice or maybe she didn't hoping that he will notice one day or assuming that he wouldn't understand even if she said it. For me,even yesterday her disappointment in Adi was very clear which he failed to see.It was not a poetry and football session that the writers were talking about,it has repeatedly been shown from the first scene of Adi and Pooja how much in tune Pooja is with Adi's wants and needs whereas Adi is completely oblivious to Pooja's expectations. I don't think Adi ever listed down his likes,dislikes,wants and needs for Pooja to pay attention to,she learned them herself and probably expected some amount of reciprocation from Adi in that front as well.Adi's love was giving away a large chunk of money without even asking her why she needs it, which shows that all Pooja probably needed to do was ask Adi and he would do it.But then again,who wants a partner who goes somewhere with you for your happiness and then complains about it as we have seen in the camping scene of Adi and Pooja?

I don't empathize or sympathize with Pooja or Yash because I don't know yet where they are coming from. As I have seen the pain of Adi and Zoya, I hurt for them more. But Adi and Pooja's first scene, camping scene and yesterday's scene all made me feel that I would have a hard time dealing with a husband who acted the way Adi did. But I wouldn't cheat; I would talk to him.If I saw talking to him didn't help, I would walk out of the marriage. Maybe she didn't walk out because she was afraid to hurt him, maybe because she knew her mother wouldn't support her, maybe because she loved both and couldn't choose one over the other: who knows? Human mind works in the strangest of way. I wouldn't say she failed as a wife just as I wouldn't say Adi failed as a husband: they both disappointed each other, Adi unknowingly and Pooja knowingly and in a far more damaging way but I would like to hope that they both loved and cared for each other in their own way.

What the writers are trying to do is show us Pooja's side of the story and maybe Yash's side of the story too. Whether we like it or not, people who cheat on their spouses are not pure evil and people who have been cheated on need not be responsible for their partners' actions. Be it Adi, Zoya, Pooja or Yash, they are each responsible for their actions and decisions, they are each responsible for where they went wrong with their marriages and there is no point playing the blame game. Nothing justifies cheating and I hope the writers don't even try to justify it:just give their perspectives and let it go.

Originally posted by: MrsAkyurek

This is a very incisive, nuanced piece of writing! I think we all watch murder mysteries and we obviously do not condone them but those movies give an insight into the psychology of the killers' minds. That's how this show must be watched as well, instead of dismissing the characters' actions prima facie.

I often wonder why we usually want people to mirror us,why we judge them right or wrong based on our understanding of right and wrong,why can't we accept that everything is not about us. Cheating on your spouse is wrong: law says so, the monogamous tone that our culture has set for us says so, our religion says so. But do we really think that people who walk into a marriage have less interest in making it work than us outsiders? No one wants their marriage to fall apart. Maybe a very small percentage of people practice polygamy because that's who they are but Pooja has not been portrayed in that light at all. She has been portrayed as a helpless romantic craving for stargazing with her partner, poetry sessions, dancing in the rain etc and she felt empty despite having Adi with her. Had she communicated with Adi and he listened to her would their problems be resolved? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe they were not the kind of couple who would find that all-encompassing passion in each other: Pooja identified it,albeit after marriage, Adi didn't. But probably he will when he falls in love with Zoya. I think what the writers will show is that Aditya has never really felt that passionate love and once he feels it for Zoya, he will find it in him to forgive Pooja as he would probably take a step towards understanding what they had both been missing and Pooja had found in someone else. Let's see where the story goes but for now I am trying to read all the characters and understand their actions.