Cheating has a reason? Really? - Page 2

I was pretty amused wen I saw this forum defending cheating on the pretext of emotional bonding or something more than friendship...

I dont get why all of a sudden Adi becomes the culprit? Whatever decision Pooja made, it was her choice. She is the one who cheated on Adi! I agree with you all, according to Pooja's diary...Adi seems to be the completely different person than the one which I could see on myscreen. Yes he is some what childish but not in a bad way(at least not in my POV) but he loved her!!! And still does love her. I guess pooja is the one who kept this "friendship thing in her mind and never let see beyond it!

I am married for like an year and a half. And i have known my husband for like my whole life (yes we are cousins) and before getting in to this relationship we were friends...and now we are like bestfriend and share everything...if there is anything i guess one should need to talk it out rather than doing such a thing !


And here i read a post saying Pooja couldnt divorced Adi because she didn't want her mom and Adi to get hurt...wow seriously? So she just cheated on him? Look how happy they are now !

Originally posted by: romancefan

Sometimes in a conservative Asian country and culture, it's hard to ask for divorce when you know you will hurt your parents and family relatives. Sakshi loves Aditya like her own Son. Pooja may not want to hurt her mum.

that's when Pooja should have communicated with Adi

No cheating is not justified. What she needed to do was have a serious conversation with Adi and tell him she wants a husband, not just a friend. She wants Junoon, not dosti from him. She wants to feel that passion of love not the comfort of friendship.

Originally posted by: MrDarcyfan

No cheating is not justified. What she needed to do was have a serious conversation with Adi and tell him she wants a husband, not just a friend. She wants Junoon, not dosti from him. She wants to feel that passion of love not the comfort of friendship.

The sad part is, Adi did love her with a passion. He just never expressed it the way she wanted. The Adi we are seeing now, full of angst and barley contained Passion would have been Pooja's dream man. Sad fact is, her dream man was always with her, she just didnt see it, or realise it.

There is a saying "The closer you get, the lesser you see!". That is 100% true. She knew Adi since high school. She was so close to him she didnt even see the real him, only that childlike persona that he projected, coz he was carefree with her. He always acted the same way with her, but SHE is the one that wanted the dynamics of their relationship to change. But instead of clearly saying that to him. (Not as a complaint, but as a genuine issue), she chose to get close to someone who she thought had that "Junoon" in him. But why do I get the feeling that maybe Yash didn't love Pooja? He still loved Zoya? Was Pooja a mistake, or a friendship of sorts that went too far? I guess time will tell.

One of these days Aditya will realise that Zoya is a woman of substance, that even thinking her husband may have betrayed her, she is still true to him. Something Pooja was not. Pooja has no excuse, accept her own misguided beliefs for what she did.

Hi...I am usually a silent reader but yesterday's episode got me engaged.I doubt the writers are trying to justify cheating, they are probably just giving us an insight into Pooja's mind that she felt she didn't have what she wanted out of her marriage with Adi.As is a common saying,human beings or any living beings are not monogamous by nature:the society through culture and religion cultivate our personality so that we behave in a monogamous way. If you give enough space to someone while you have a partner, there is always a chance that you will become attracted to that individual too.Fidelity is not instinctive,it is a decision we all make. People who cheat choose to cheat.Period.There is no excuse for it.But our traditional belief are cheaters have no feelings,no emotions,they very strategically choose to hurt someone, but is that really the case though? They are also ordinary people who make choices; choices which end up hurting people but it doesn't necessarily mean they are some devil reincarnated. Probably that is what the writers are trying to bring to light. Pooja was just an ordinary girl who thought she didn't get the marriage she had expected and ended up creating a space for someone else in her life which she should not have.Once she had given the other person that space,falling in love with that individual was probably unavoidable given that she was not content with the life she had. Contentment,again,is an individual decision.People choose to be content;Pooja didn't. Whether she had communicated her discontent with Adi or not,well,maybe she had and he didn't understand or notice or maybe she didn't hoping that he will notice one day or assuming that he wouldn't understand even if she said it. For me,even yesterday her disappointment in Adi was very clear which he failed to see.It was not a poetry and football session that the writers were talking about,it has repeatedly been shown from the first scene of Adi and Pooja how much in tune Pooja is with Adi's wants and needs whereas Adi is completely oblivious to Pooja's expectations. I don't think Adi ever listed down his likes,dislikes,wants and needs for Pooja to pay attention to,she learned them herself and probably expected some amount of reciprocation from Adi in that front as well.Adi's love was giving away a large chunk of money without even asking her why she needs it, which shows that all Pooja probably needed to do was ask Adi and he would do it.But then again,who wants a partner who goes somewhere with you for your happiness and then complains about it as we have seen in the camping scene of Adi and Pooja?

I don't empathize or sympathize with Pooja or Yash because I don't know yet where they are coming from. As I have seen the pain of Adi and Zoya, I hurt for them more. But Adi and Pooja's first scene, camping scene and yesterday's scene all made me feel that I would have a hard time dealing with a husband who acted the way Adi did. But I wouldn't cheat; I would talk to him.If I saw talking to him didn't help, I would walk out of the marriage. Maybe she didn't walk out because she was afraid to hurt him, maybe because she knew her mother wouldn't support her, maybe because she loved both and couldn't choose one over the other: who knows? Human mind works in the strangest of way. I wouldn't say she failed as a wife just as I wouldn't say Adi failed as a husband: they both disappointed each other, Adi unknowingly and Pooja knowingly and in a far more damaging way but I would like to hope that they both loved and cared for each other in their own way.

What the writers are trying to do is show us Pooja's side of the story and maybe Yash's side of the story too. Whether we like it or not, people who cheat on their spouses are not pure evil and people who have been cheated on need not be responsible for their partners' actions. Be it Adi, Zoya, Pooja or Yash, they are each responsible for their actions and decisions, they are each responsible for where they went wrong with their marriages and there is no point playing the blame game. Nothing justifies cheating and I hope the writers don't even try to justify it:just give their perspectives and let it go.

Thanks for posting this. I was frustrated with posts aft posts claiming to present Pooja's POV. Call me old fashioned but I believe in the wedding wows of UNTIL DEATH be it any religion. Cheating is Cheating PERIOD. I can still try 2 understand the person's POV if the spouse was psychotic or abusive or not straight etc etc. Even then I prefer that the person simply divorces rather than living with an abusive spouse. Here the wife claims she cheated & became closer with another guy coz her hubby hates poetry. WT*. Who goes 4 stupid poetry shows. May be .1% of the population may like such stuff. Tat doesnt make the remaining 99.9% insensitive dolts. I ve been married for 14 yrs now. I love Eng movies & shows, never watch tamil channels. My hubby prefers tamil & mallu movies. Simple soln v ve 2 TVs. So i watch GOT & he watches Tamil news channels & silly debates. Doesnt meet me & my hubby s'd start cheating. In fact b it food, movies or anything me & hubby r poles apart. V still love each other, fight, yell, make up, fight some more & in between raise our 8 yr daughter as well!

Cheating is wrong. Let's not sugar coat it...

@athai:

Originally posted by: MrDarcyfan

@athai:

I agree with many things you have said. While nothing justifies cheating the diary is an insight into Pooja's state of mind and why she felt this need to step outside her marriage for what she felt she was looking for, which she didnt get from her husband.

Adi's attitude would be difficult for most women to handle coz we dont want our husband's to be babies. (Lets face it sometimes they are) LOL, but most of the time they are not. What Adi didnt understand was that their old dynamic was no longer keeping Pooja happy. She wanted something else, she wanted more. Yes maybe he should have "got" it. But maybe if she clearly stated to him that his refusal to come with her when she wants to do things SHE likes hurts her?

Maybe if Adi knew all this, he would have behaved differently? It's quite possible. The guy IS mature and capable of behaving that way too. (How he salvaged Bella's engagement twice, by giving her Pep talks). This proved he can show maturity when needed. The way he laughed at Zoya's long Urdu Speech was a glimpse of the old Adi! The one who liked to laugh like a child.

In this story I want to understand ALL the characters or else it wont be any fun watching it. So what I feel is the makers / writers are giving us an insight and setting the stage for the story to come.

My point exactly.This show is a character driven show and the layers that each characters bring will add value to the show. Spouses cheating on each other is despicable but it is not an uncommon thing. It is easy to take a moral high ground and say why didn't the person do this and that. If doing this and that was that simple I doubt we would have such a high number of unhappy marriages, disappointed spouses and some cheaters among us.

Eshita I totally agree with your every point here.