Revival : Conquering The Past - A Joint Venture updt scene 15 pg 41 - Page 33

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Echo.of.Hope thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: lovely_lady

LOL I just clicked on this FF for fun and was pleasantly surprised to see an update! Nice Lekhs! Onto the chapter:

I like the content in this chapter. You've displayed Ramy's worries perfectly. Very in character. And I really enjoyed the way you had Laxmi come and console him. It really is wonderful the way RL switch roles for each other. Sometimes Laxmi is strong for Ramy, as was in this chapter, while other times Ramy is strong for Laxmi. Wonderful couple.

And it's really good you mentioned how Nisha needed closure for pilani. I always felt like she needed to see a therapist or whatever to fully get over it. So good job there.

On the not to so good side, there were a few grammer mistakes. For example, in the third paragraph, it needed to be "Nisha woke up" not "wake" because the earlier decided in the sentence turns the sentence into past tense, not presence. Also, the word "assuages" came across as really weird. Perhaps its just me but idk.

Other than that, good chapter! 😊


thanks for commenting isha😊

glad you like the chp😃
about the grammar mistakes...i guess autocorrect isnt that good...I'll have to reread and mkae sure everything is fine...thatks for telling me.😊
Spruha1 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
such an amazing update... thanks
itznimi003 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
superb update lekhs😊

u portrayed d feeling and guilt of RL so beautifully👏...

u r an awsm writer dear...superb job...👍🏼

Lakshmi expected to see a
worried man but she saw more than
that when Ramesh looked at her.
She saw the pain and guilt through
his eyes which was like a window to
his heart.
...

@blue...it made me cry......

"Am I a bad father?", he asked.
" Never ", his wife says instantly,"
Why would you think that? "
"Being a father I couldn't protect my
daughter from the evils of the world.
I call her my happy wala gana when
I couldn't see how broken and sad
she is."
"That's not your fault", Lakshmi
said," She made sure that none of us
found out about her troubled past.
She was just too good at hiding her
pain and discomfort. "


@bold loved it totally❤️...

" Let's get our Nishu back ", he said
and looked up at the sky.
The night sky which was cloudy was
clearing up to reveal the twinkling
stars.
" The clouds will clear up for us
too", Ramesh said and looked at his
daughter who was now in a
dreamless slumber.


@red m speechless😊
Edited by itznimi003 - 9 years ago
Echo.of.Hope thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Spruha1

such an amazing update... thanks



thanks😊
Echo.of.Hope thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: itznimi003

superb update lekhs😊

u portrayed d feeling and guilt of RL so beautifully👏...

u r an awsm writer dear...superb job...👍🏼

Lakshmi expected to see a
worried man but she saw more than
that when Ramesh looked at her.
She saw the pain and guilt through
his eyes which was like a window to
his heart.
...

@blue...it made me cry......

"Am I a bad father?", he asked.
" Never ", his wife says instantly,"
Why would you think that? "
"Being a father I couldn't protect my
daughter from the evils of the world.
I call her my happy wala gana when
I couldn't see how broken and sad
she is."
"That's not your fault", Lakshmi
said," She made sure that none of us
found out about her troubled past.
She was just too good at hiding her
pain and discomfort. "


@bold loved it totally❤️...

" Let's get our Nishu back ", he said
and looked up at the sky.
The night sky which was cloudy was
clearing up to reveal the twinkling
stars.
" The clouds will clear up for us
too", Ramesh said and looked at his
daughter who was now in a
dreamless slumber.


@red m speechless😊


thank you so much nimi🤗
I'm so happy you liked the part😃😃
Echo.of.Hope thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Part 16

The next morning Nisha sat by the window sipping the coffee that rukma had brought her. She closed her eyes letting the breeze caress her face and the sweet song of the birds soothe her ears. Amidst the peaceful morning tune Nisha heard whispering.

She turned around to find her cousins at the door shoving each other to approach her. They were all scared to come up to her after causing the trauma. Nisha felt a little more disappointed that she had scared her cousins with her panic attack.

Finally Dolly stepped forward and came and sat next to her.
"Nishu?", she said.
Nisha turned her attention to her elder sister. The others gathered around.
" Do you remember when you were six? ", Dolly asked.
" And you, Dolly and I had all the ice cream that Ramesh chachu bought ", Umesh said.
" I remember dadu being angry ", Nisha said.
" And we told dadu that you had nothing to do with and you just tagged along. "
"And the time when I took your bicycle even though I didn't know how to ride", Jwala joined.
" And you fell down and hurt yourself ", Nisha joined.
" And when dadu asked you took all the blame", Jwala said.
* And when I wanted to dress up as Batman and dress bunty up as Robin and you went out of the way to get the curtains that Rupan taiji bought", Sukku said.
Nisha smiled remembering all the incidents.
"You have always been there for us Nishu di", bunty said.
" We cousins have always been there for each other", Kirti said, "We have our own share of secrets which we haven't told the elders."
"Yeah", Nisha said," The white lies. "

"You can trust us", Umesh said.
" I know that ", Nisha said.
" Then why didn't you tell us about the pilani trip? ", Kirti said, sounding a little hurt.
" We are a team, right? ", Sukku asked.
Nisha realized that her cousins were hurt that she kept her past a secret.
" You trust us, don't you nishu di? ", Bunty asked.
" Of course", Nisha said.

Nisha realized that her cousins haven't realized the intensity of her secret.
"It's not about trusting", she said to the disappointed faces in front of her.
" I needed time to deal with this problem by myself ", she continued," I was thirteen and I had no idea how to cope up with the trauma. The teacher told me that if my family knew l wouldn't be sent to school anymore. "

By now Nisha was in tears.
"I always trust you all", she said amidst her sobs," You are my cousins. "
The rest of them were surprised by the newly gained knowledge except Jwala. Kirti sat next to her sister and lifted her head to face them.
"Never let anyone else ever tell you how your family is", she said," They have no idea about us and how much we'll love you no matter what and that nothing can change that. "
"Today our respect for you has increased tremendously", Umesh said with a beaming smile, " We are proud of how strong you are. "
" You are our nishu bro", Jwala said letting the tears escape her eyes.
"Our brave sister", Sukku said and rubbed his eyes before tears escaped them.
" From today I want you to know that there is nothing in this world that can change our love for you or decrease or respect for you", Dolly days,"No matter what, we'll always be there for you Nishu. "
With that Dolly let her emotions take over and her vision blurred.

Nisha saw the love and care in each of her cousins. The way they were crying for her pain as if it's their own. Nisha wiped her tears and spread her arms.
"Cousins forever", she said and the youngest generation of the house huddled up in a group hug.


Do Like and/or Comment😳
maniwood thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Awesome update twin sis as usual
Just loved the way you showed cousins scared and nisha understanding just looking at their faces
I can totally feel how bad they must be feeling that nisha suffered alone
It was so adorable...the way they were remembering old incidents
And at last the group hug... Superb
Echo.of.Hope thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: maniwood

Awesome update twin sis as usual
Just loved the way you showed cousins scared and nisha understanding just looking at their faces
I can totally feel how bad they must be feeling that nisha suffered alone
It was so adorable...the way they were remembering old incidents
And at last the group hug... Superb


thank you twin sis🤗
Echo.of.Hope thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Spruha1

well written...
couldn't control emoticals...

thank you😃
mansi_as18 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
awesomely written it was... I too have tears in my eyes... pls update this soon n ya if u don't mind just pm me whenever u update...

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