Kuch khas hai ShaNak SS pt 8,9 pg 9 updated 29 jan

After the laptop fiasco and then throwing of wine stuff..Khanak felt very lonely. She felt like crying,like shouting out to someone on her plight but had no one. It was only dadi..and khanak New dadi was helpless too. A day had passed for this incident and Shan was yet fretting and angry. He had called her what not in his fit of anger . Let alone her...he had even hurt dadi..coz dadi was the one to support her which he didn't like. Just coz of her daadi too had to bear the brunt of everyone in the house . Khanak felt daadi was also lonely like her lost in this big house.

She didn't understand why but shantanu had started affecting her. Y did she feel a pain in her heart when she wasn't supposed to. In actuality this was a forced relation on both the sides..so y did she start expecting from shantanu,her husband to stand up for her or to even understand her a little. For all she understood till now...he was too selfish,selfpitiful,arrogant,kiddish and a guy with an emotional range of a teaspoon till it wasn't related to his emotions.

She took out suraj pic and remembering her time with him. Why had she become like what she wasn't. She found the brave,optimist ,happy ,go getter khanak lost somewhere and in peaking out through the frame was the image of a crybaby,selfpitiful,too dependent and coward khanak. She wasn't the khanak who against all odds found a way to meet her suraj..to stand up to rich khandelwals in leiu of justice,the khanak who was light and pride of suraj...the beleif of suraj that his khanak could stand up to any adversity strongly...

Khanak thought she was letting down her suraj,her Bai,Adha,her father like sarpapanch ji.

Khanak thought to herself what she was doing here with her life. It wasn't her fault whatever happened. So why was she feeling guilty. Ok these were not her people but it was her family. So what if the marriage was just a few months. But till then she was presenting shaan and her family in public. So she had to forget dhulwadi and learn the ways of city. She had to make shaan proud of having her atleast just in name and cause no more damage to there business by acting illiterate or like some stupid. And so much depended on her staying here...that's why she hadn't left yet. So she needed to think about her life and transform her for good...so that nobody could point a finger at her upbringing . Moreover she didn't want to be a let down to Suraj and his Blind belief in her. It was hightime she stopped being cornered and get back to being the lost khanak...

With this determination and set mind she went to dadi's room.

Daadi-" oh khanak beta! Come here. I am so sorry,they all keep insulting you and I can't help you. I feel so bad because I know u dint deserve it. Have you been crying?? Y r ur eyes so red?"

K -" Dadi don't feel guilty. U r not at fault. It's all circumstances fault. But I know if I don't help myself nobody can help me. Dadi I don't want to wallow in self pity. I don't want to lose myself daadi,the real me,I don't want to be a weakling and don't want to cause damage to family name by my stupid ignorance and illiterate behaviour. I can't keep off running away from accepting the changes in my life...so I have decided to stand up for myself and make myself self dependent...I just need your help..without you I won't be able to do anything.."

D-" I am so proud and happy for you khanak that you decided to do something worthwhile with your life. U understood the dire needs of situations and high time u thought about yourself and your future. Am so happy and glad to help you always forever...not for my family but for ur self respect...I knew you were a fighter who was lost and could be made alive back by yourself only. Tell me what u want?"

K-" Dadi my biggest problem is language. Due to this language problem I have caused huge problems. Suraj used to say me...take ur studies seriously but I never heard him. Now I feel if I had at least I would no the basics of English. But now first I want to begin to understand and learn it. But I dunno how or who will help me. Shaan...he hates me to the core,neither he nor Natasha ji will help me. Infact they will all make fun of me. I don't have a heart to bear those insults. I have had enough. I want Shan to feel proud of me and not embarrassed"

D-" y khanak. U don't accept him as your husband . Then y does his views bother. Though am happy that somehow u do respect this marriage "

K-" Dadi I dunno y but shantanu affects me. I dont wanna lie to you. But I have caused a lot of nuisance in his life already..May be till whatever time we r married...he at least doesn't have to pay for my ignorance at least. I don't want to let down Suraj,and my bai,aadah..Will you help me. ?"

Dadi smiles inwardly noticing the change in khanak. She's very happy and feels hopeful of ShaNak relationship..She wants to help her but doesn't know how..when suddenly she gets a call...

If you guys like this khanak monologue...with herself...I will continue...and make it into an ss.

I really wanted to see this in show but they never touched this side...hope u guys like it...