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While his heart and soul feel and wish that Myrah is Paro, his grey cells that had registered the reality his eyes had seen 7 years ago force and nag them not to drift towards her.
He is in a TURMOIL!
The outcome- the wishful eyelocks, the suppressed physicality, the unexplained rashness, the unrequired rudeness towards Myrah all at the same time. The turmoil finds its vent.
The explanations that she cannot be Paro, she just cannot be his Paro, she knows not anything about Indian ethnicity and ethics, that she is a 'feeling' illiterate are only excuses to draw a line between Myrah and himself. This is (baseless) reasoning presented by his brain in a debate to his soul and heart who want to look beyond, who can see beyond--- the buried Paro-- not the Paro that his brain saw as after her last rites but the Paro that is buried beneath Myrah.
The lashing out, the dirty linen laundering in public is not aimed to explain people around, it is to thrust, shove and etch the logic that 'she cannot be Paro' by his analytical left brain into his soft insightful right brain.
Turmoil- where his heart sighs for her, longs to love and be loved by this Paro of his, to break down before her and let expose all the bleeding wounds that she had left behind.
Turmoil- where his head sighs,"How can she be?? Step back!"
The dialog "Mere andar itna kuch chal raha hai ki main vo karta hoon/ bola hoon jo nahi karna chahiye tha" reflect the aforesaid state.
Maithili who can see through people noticed it too.
A turmoil where an apparent disbelief is a lilly-hearted belief in disguise, A turmoil where a superficial refusal and dejection are hiding a spark of hope that is flickering somewhere deep beneath.
I feel somewhere his heart is dying to question her, to know from her, to tell her, to find out but right then it is gagged by his mind for this mind of his fears that the clumsily stitched tatters would be ripped apart to lay bare his quivering heart and soul which it would not be able to sew again if they are proven wrong.
Here's wishing that Myrah is soon revealed to be Paro so that both Rudra and we stop whimpering, our turbulence/ turmoil is put to rest and we get our deserved peace.
Here's wishing that a handcuffed Rudra is soon set free and so are we all.
Belated happy Independence Day!😊
Take care.
PS: These are quick wishful, sentimental ramblings ignoring the deadlines, the technicalities and other issues that are gnawing at RR and us RRians...
Thank u so much Shweta Di 4 this beautiful(and apt as always) picture...🤗
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