Navarasas || Bhayanaka- PART 2 UPDATED (18/5)

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Pixiepixel11

@Pixiepixel11

Stunner

+ 36

Posted: 11 years ago

#51

That was awesome.
loved it.

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shutter

@shutter

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#52

EDITED:

Fear is not meant to bog you down, rather it should act as a catalyst for you to fight and overcome it!!!!

A very beautifully descriptive piece of what some emotion and its manifestations in different forms can do to you!!!!! If Paro was scared of getting into that vehicle and the incident thereafter, and after being saved by an unknown passerby, she learnt something new...

Fear turned to trust.

Again she fears what the future might hold for her as she gotta leave behind her mami-sa, her friend and hehr village and go to some unknown land with a man who she's just married!!! Bet, again in an ensuing gun battle, all her hopes of a beautiful future are dashed and fear comes back, haunting her!!!!!

Fear dimmed her sight and sucked her into its comforting darkness.

She, the captive, the witness to an illegal cross-border arms trade was freed, which confused her... Presently, Fear had become a friend.

And when she discovered that it was only a ploy on the part of her captors to catch her red-handed for a crime she had not committed... Hell, she wasn't even aware of such a thing happening around her, in her very own village... And she decides that running away and escaping from her fears is no longer an exception... You gotta fight it, if you wanna survive through it!!!! One more lesson to Paro:

Fear only had consequences that needed to be dealt with.

Fear: power and control are vital weapons.

The entire 100 episodes in one single story, and that defined by just one emotion: Fear!!!!! Absolutely wonderfully done!!!! I wanted to comment on each occurrence of Paro's fear, but then saw that it was getting too long!!!! So I'll just stick to just this much...

I loved the fact that Paro got her bearings straight and like a phoenix rising from its ashes, decided to win over what was hers always... And those closing lines about her deal with Bholenath could be negotiated, but not at the cost of her happiness!!!!!

👏 👏 👏 👏

Edited by shutter - 11 years ago

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Maya

@What_the

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#53

Three pages away... 😭

Damn you weekend chores!!!

Res

Sorry Sorry Sorry...hazaar baar sorry!!

Have been sooo late to un-res...

Asli Duniya has been rather merciless recently...

Beautiful piece white-lies...

I was transported back to those initial days of RR, when I was so enamoured by the novelty and sheer larger-than-life, cinematic feel of this show!

Her fear for safety from those vile men, only to be rescued by a brave yet foreboding stranger...and fear inexplicably turned in to trust...I loved the way you described the shift in emotion..

Her fear to safeguard the dreams of marriage which she had just begun weaving...only to see it being destroyed in front of her eyes...and fear overpowers her, she loses consciousness..

Nicely done baisa...he words you use to convey her state of mind...perfect!

She discovers Rudra's hidden intention behind setting her free...fear for her only family and her village sets in...fear that is now a friend...who propels her forward, pushes her to act, to run, to hide...

What a brilliant thought...fear is a friend..

And now fear takes on a new meaning altogether...this sentence was beautiful!

Fear was a question, and running away provided no answer. Fear only had consequences that needed to be dealt with.

Rudra and his menacing threats of a loveless marriage...Paro now fears for herself..

But she sees the same emotion in his eyes...fear for his job, for his self-respect..his need to be right...and the ever-present concern for her..

The first time she reveals her fear to him, in the haldi scene...and her glimpse of fear for her safety in his eyes...what I loved the most was the description of that moment when fear was overcome by mutual attraction...which just had to come to the surface at such close proximity..it is here to stay and wants to make its presence known!

Could the wise or the learned ever locate that moment of falling in love?

Very well said and very true..

The sense of safety and security that he provides, seems to have kept fear (at least of external factors) at bay...she is strengthened by his rudraksha, even when he is not physically with her..

And finally her fear of ambiguity and self-doubt, when she learns of his relationship with Laila...and is confused by her own impending self-inflicted departure...

She wasn't afraid of Fear anymore. Back then, she had feared Rudra. Today, she feared leaving him. Bholenaath had to be negotiated with. Fear had taught her to fight.

Beautiful ending..

I just loved the gradual way this story moved from scenario to scenario...and a new facet of fear each time..

The way your story and your take on Paro's point of view, complemented Choti's OS...it was beautiful, seemed to flow seamlessly..

I look forward to more of your writing Tia!!

Love

Maya

Edited by What_the - 11 years ago

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Maya

@What_the

Voyager

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#54

Originally posted by: niyoti
Aw choti!
This is such a lovely piece!

The different layers to Rudra's fears so brilliantly captured!

Their first meeting will always remain close to my heart. It proves that despite his khoobsorat aurat ramblings he is an inherently decent human being and protector to his core.

I love the imagery you've created with the baarat at the border. How amidst all that chaos he is frozen when his eyes fall upon her, how it slowly dawns on him that the feelings of protectiveness she had manage stir in him hadn't been just a once off fluke incident. How he is warring with himself to do the apparent right thing but in the end his instincts win.

His rising fear that he is being drawn into an abyss and that there wouldn't be anything to hold onto.

His desperate need driven by fierce instincts to be that knight in shining armor and further more his need for Paro to recognize the fact, that with him she was safe. Couldn't she just see that? His attraction mingled with fear that the poison would burn her, so beautifully captured!

His hurt when she rebuffs him, because for him, she has already come to mean so much more.

His fear that just when she is beginning to soften toward him and maybe even trust him, Laila would destroy all of it, take it all away and he would be ruined in her eyes forever. His self loathing is just so heart breaking!

His realization that he is teetering on the edge of the abyss now.

The last part completely tugged on my heart strings! How he has become accustomed to her presence, how he constantly looks for her, is grounded by her mere presence and how he is not yet ready to examine too closely that strange sense of contentment and peace that comes over him when he is around her.

His biggest fear yet, that she too would find him lacking and leave him.

His desperate attempts to chain her to him because he simply cannot, will not, allow her to leave. Not yet. He would shatter if he did.

Finally he has tripped of the precipice and as he tumbles into the abyss, he reaches for her only to find she isn't there.

@ All bolds: Loved the gradual progression from him thinking that she is the cause of his ruin to ultimately reaching for her because she is his salvation.

@Maya: Really LOVE your insightful comments. They are always such a pleasure to read! I have no more words to describe this OS and I wish i could just quote you verbatim

PS: Yes the surgeon was young and quite handsome😆

I loved your comment too Niti...

Now I have to apologise to Tia for being distracted by this comment and reading it before I read her piece...sorry white-lies!!!!

Loved the gradual progression from him thinking that she is the cause of his ruin to ultimately reaching for her because she is his salvation.

I just loved how you thought of it this way...the cause of his ruin seemingly, but his salvation actually...

And all you talented writers must know, that it is your brilliant work that elicits all those words from me...you don't have to thank me!

Now have to go read the new OS!!

Love

Maya

PS: what about the OS on Rudra's eyes? 😉

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AngelTeen

@AngelTeen

Stunner

+ 8

Posted: 11 years ago

#55

Comment updated -

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/106709437

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lourel24

@lourel24

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#56

beautiful.There r so many wonderful writers in this forum.She had decided to fight back for her love n even negotiate with her bholenath.wow!

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div26

@div26

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#57

Fantastic writing. Loved it 😊

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hkdrama

@hkdrama

Beginner

Posted: 11 years ago

#58

Amazing 👏
I love how you matched the storyline with Chotidesi's version. We got to read HIS and HER POV.

You guys are amazingly talented...as good as the published authors :-)