ll Anki SS: A New Encounter ll Updated-Special Part - Page 10

Part Five

(Three days later...)

My hand was moving across the paper, making lines and trying to sketch the landscape that was before me, but I was hardly paying any attention to what I was doing.

I thought back to what happened three days ago.

I thought finally I will be able to leave this hospital, finally be able to become a normal human being, and even secretly be able to spend time with Anand, if we ever had a chance in meeting again, outside the hospital.

But that was nothing but wishful thinking.

"Kittu guess what?" the nurse named Millie said.

I was about to go for another round of my daily checkups with the cardiologist.

"What?" I asked confused.

"It seemed as if there might be a heart that might become available for you." She said.

I looked up at her as if she said the most magical words I ever heard in my lifetime.

"A heart? A heart available for me?" I asked.

She nodded.

I gripped her hand.

"Are you serious? Don't lie its not funny to joke around with something like this?" I said almost feeling tears coming out of my eyes.

She cupped my face and she stared at me.

"Sweetheart I wouldn't lie to you like this. I'm serious. There is a heart that is available to you. We just need to get through the paper work and all the messy legal documents and in a week or so we can engage in surgery." She said smiling softly.

I wanted to jump up and down.

I wanted to scream, cry, laugh, and mostly just cry for finally, finally being able to get another chance.

To get a chance to not constantly having to take tests, having to be sick or even so weak as if I couldn't carry my own weight, having to refrain from playing with friends that either weren't coming back or forgot that I even existed.

I was going to finally go home to be with papa, mama, and Jaya.

When Kunal comes back I will surprise him with how healthy I am and how I can finally beat him in arm wrestling fair and square without him faking and letting me win.

There was so much hopes, dreams, and silent prayers I made knowing that I was having a second chance to live as a human being again.

But then I looked up at Millie as she smiled at me.

I was going to miss her, Anna and all the other wonderful nurses that dotted on me over the years.

Heck even the ones that scolded me like Latika and although I made it seem as if this hospital was like a home to me... I wanted to leave here...I wanted to go home...my real home.

I was so excited and I wanted to keep it a secret to Anand until everything was actually finalized...but I couldn't contain it.

The brightest smile lit up his face.

He enveloped me into the tightest, yet one of the warmest hugs I ever had in a long time.

Plus he kissed the top of my forehead in his excitement and I blushed at his sudden attention.

"No...no...no I was excited...yeah excited for you." He said while blushing slightly.

I blushed even more.

"It's...it's...it's okay if you are excited...I don't mind if you kissed my forehead again..." I said feeling my cheeks burn even more.

He looked up at me dumbfounded and I awkwardly laugh to dispel the tense situation.

"I was just kidding." I said with fake laughter.

I smiled at that yet before I could finish my thoughts I felt someone was nearby.

I looked up and wasn't shocked to see Anand stanidn over me, with a sad expression on his face.

I sighed.

I continued to do what I was doing and without a word, he sat down next to me for a good five, maybe even ten minutes before he said anything.

"It looks beautiful." He said.

I looked at him and stopped before I was going to start drawing a tree.

"What...you mean this?" I said while pointing at my painting.

He nodded.

"Its really impressive how long have you've been drawing?" he said.

I smiled.

"I picked it up from one of my roommates when I was around seven. It was boring staying here without picking up a hobby or two...or three to say the least." I said while faintly smiling.

He smiled slowly and he remained silent thereafter and I continued my drawing.

"The doctor has fully checked me up and said I can leave in two days from now, it was suppose to be in another four days or so but, I have been improving so much lately. They are going to remove the stitches later on in the afternoon." He said.

My heart sank but I forced a smile on my face.

"That is...that is great." I said looking at him.

I turned back to my work at hand and now it didn't even feel like fun anymore.

"Anna...told me what happened." He said softly.

The pencil I had in my hand fell down and I pushed out a shaky breath.

I didn't want to look at him especially when he said his next statement.

"She told me what happened to the transplant...to the heart and the error that happened." He said.

I didn't say anything and instead just sat there frozen.

Less than 24 hours of receiving news of being promised another heart, being promised to finally living my life...it was wiped away.

"I'm sorry Kittu...but the heart was damaged." Millie said.

I looked at her like she was crazy.

"Damaged? How does a heart gets damaged?" I said looking at her as if she was joking.

But there was no smile no smirk just a sad expression that settled on her face, the same expression Anand gave me earlier.

"The person that was suppose to transfer it put it in the wrong cooler and it wasn't cold enough...it was ruled too faulty to be used for any patient." She said putting her hands on my shoulder.

I stared at her in shock.

"I know you are going to miss me Millie but this is not done...don't joke around." I said blowing off her statement.

"Kritika." She said my full name.

She only did that when she was being serious and trying to get my attention, all the nurses did that when they were trying to be serious.

"I'm...I'm sorry Kittu." He said.

I ignored him as I felt a tear drop slide down my face and landed on my drawing.

Another joined it and I moved my stuff out the way as more tears joined and landed on my dress.

I used my hand to wipe it away but another one joined it and soon it was too much for me to control.

"Kittu I'm sorry. But don't worry it will get better, you will have another chance..." he said and he placed his hand on my shoulder.

I reacted and faced him.

"Get better? Another chance?" I laughed at him.

"You're crazy Anand. I have been in broken body for the last 17 years! Get better? You say get better? I have gotten better so many times and so many times have relapsed. I have been near death so many occasions and you say get better...you must be messing with me." I said.

"Kittu I didn't mean it like that..." he said.

"I don't want anything. I don't want anything at all. I prayed so many times...every night, every day, every freaking second and asked to get better, I have asked God to make me better...but I'm like this? Why? Did I do something wrong?" I said looking at Anand whose eyes seemed to be confused yet moist with unshed tears.

"You didn't do anything wrong Kittu..." Anand said.

"Then why am I like this? Why is my heart so weak...why can't I be a normal kid? Why every time I seem to have a chance at living it seemed to be snatched away from me?" I said cocking my head to the side.

Anand didn't say anything but he grabbed my hand and this time I didn't react.

"I've been here so long to see people come and go. There were days I would have roommates that suffered from cancer, had broken limbs, some even needed transplants themselves as well. Sure some walked out of here perfectly fine...but I knew there were some that didn't make it. Sure the nurses lied to me and the rest of us that they had to be taken to a "special" place to get better...but I knew what it meant."I said.

"I don't want anything. I just don't want to die." I said the last part and more tears came out.

There was no stopping as Anand brought me closer and wrapped me into a tight hug as I continued to cry.

"I don't want to die. I don't want to die." I said crying even harder and Anand wrapped his arms around me even securely.

I knew my tears were pressing against his shirt and was going to probably leave a stain mark but I just couldn't pull away.

I literally couldn't because he had his arms wrapped around my back as he slowly started patting me and made soothing sounds to calm me down.

I was able to wiggle some and he looked down at me as I looked up at him.

"I don't want to die Anand...I don't want to die..." I mumbled over and over.

He lifted his hands and cupped my face.

"You're not going to die." He said fiercely.

All I did was stare up at him as I hiccupped and more sloppy tears ran down my cheek.

"There is so long you can go without a heart." I mumbled.

"You are not going to die!" he said again.

I shook my head.

"There was another girl like me..." I said.

"She had the same condition I had, but she was in the hospital longer than I was and was older than I was. We were friends...really good friends and then one day she visited that special place and never came back again. I already know what happened to her...she died. She was not getting enough oxygen in her body and she eventually suffocated while in her sleep." I said still staring at him.

"She was here longer than I was...without a stable heart. She was 18...now Anand how long do you think I have before I visit that special place as well?" I said looking at him.

He was speechless.

"How long do you think I have...you said I'm not going to die but how long will I live without another heart? How long will I have? A month, two, six, maybe a year than? I told you I had a transplant five years ago...but that was rejected. How much of a chance will I have even if I get another one?" I said staring up at him.

He still was silent and was just staring at me.

"I hear from doctors that the higher chance your body rejects the first transplant the higher the chance for the second one to be rejected as well." I said while more tears trickled down my face.

"Don't think like that Kittu, think positive." He said.

"I have! I have! I have! Throughout this whole time I have been thinking positive. If not...do you know how long ago I would have lost it! Do you know I would have given up the fight if I wasn't so freaking optimistic? But I get tired...there is a time where I cannot be that cheery person. Where I can't always give a smile, where I can't face the world as openly and with arms spread, accepting any crap it throws my way. There is a limit. I'm at my limit. Because this time I don't know what will happen!" I said and more tears came out.

He leaned his forehead against mine and our face was close together.

"You're scared that is all." He said.

"Nothing is going to happen to you? You hear me? Who said you have to always smile? When something is worrying just let it show. If you are scared just say it. If you have doubts don't hide them." He said.

"But to who? Who is going to hear all of that? Every single person I've gotten close to have either left here or have died. So who am I suppose to tell it to?" I said.

"To me." He said.

I smiled at that and I could feel my heart starting to hurt.

"You are about to be the one who leaves...so what's the point? I'm going to just be a memory just like the others. Once you leave here...I will be forgotten and just someone that was used to pass the time with." I said.

"That isn't true..." he said.

"Its true. You might promise to visit and you might be able to maintain it for a good week or so but soon friends, family, clubs, and other priorities will take over to the point when I won't see you anymore...you will just be another list of people that have stayed and left as soon as they came." I said.

"That's not true...you mean a lot more to me than that...I won't say I will make those false promises because I'm not going to visit you every day, that is foolish and selfish. I have a family, I have school and I have siblings to look after. There are times when I won't be able to and there are times when I do I won't be able to stay for long. I don't make false promises and this is one. You will not die Kittu and I will not forget you." He said.

"You will live...you will enjoy everything this life have to offer. You will be able to go back home, go to school and make friends, and live your life. I promise you." He said.

"But how can you be so sure..." I said in mid-hiccup as another tear fell down.

"Because I'm sure." He said.

"That's not enough..." I said sniffling even more.

"Things are not going to get..." before I could finish he put his lips against mine.

I was in shock but he didn't stop as he slowly glided his lips against mine, it felt like small butterfly touches that it barely registered that he kissed me.

He drew away and looked at me in the eyes, his hands still cupping my face and another tear fell down my cheek.

"Nothing is going to happen to you." He said.

All I could do was stare into his eyes as he lowered his lips again and it connected with mine.

This time it was more intense, the presence of the previous butterfly kisses were gone almost nonexistent, as his mouth pressed against mine.

He moved away and kissed my cheeks that were still stained with my tears.

"No ..." I tried to say but he continued to kiss my cheeks, as his hand tried to wipe away the stains that were left.

He then kissed my forehead and he pulled away to stare at me.

We didn't say anything as he continued to just look at me as I stared at him.

He tried to smile but it turned into a very sloppy grin.

I leaned up, catching him unaware as I pressed my lips against him, softly and quickly, before I sat back down on the grass that was underneath me.

We didn't say anything instead he wrapped his hands around me and all I did was snuggle into his warmth that he offered.

**************

She was softly snoring in my arms as she slowly passed out.

I smiled.

I slowly ran my hands through her hair and loved the way it felt so soft and silky through my hands and how each stroke, she would settled even more into my arms.

I smiled even more but it faltered at her earlier statements that she said in distraught.

"I don't want to die Anand...I don't want to die..."

Here face was pleading with me, her eyes glistening with tears as it was already falling down her cheek, while she was biting her lips.

She was really scared and if only it was possible if I could give her my heart so she could at least have a second chance at life.

I hugged her even more closer to my side and she snuggled even more.

"You are about to be the one who leaves...so what's the point? I'm going to just be a memory just like the others. Once you leave here...I will be forgotten and just someone that was used to pass the time with." She said.

If it was possible I would love to stay with her...the past two weeks were one of the best in a very long time.

All the pressures of being the oldest, all the pressures to do the best, to be the very best, and give 100 percent in anything and everything I do...it was put on halt.

Finally someone who didn't expect anything other than my time, than for me to talk to them or to just play around.

Someone who gave me a smile without any false pretenses and no matter how hard she tried to be mean, she was caring and easily melted when someone was in pain or needed help.

If I could I wish I could pack her along with me when I had to go home.

I sighed.

She wasn't something to be packed but I wish it was possible I could take her along with me.

I sighed and remember the conversation mama and papa had when they called me earlier.

They were excited for me to come back home and even Ashish and Ishaan have become a handful as they were adamant in not eating until I came back home to play with them.

While Shraddha denies needing my presence, mama said she has become less naughty and more inclusive into herself.

I smiled.

I missed my family just not the world I had to head back into. I sighed.

I continued to hold Kittu until I heard footsteps.

I quickly looked up and saw Anna.

I cocked my head to the side.

"We have to prepare you now to remove the stitches." She said quietely.

She looked down as I was holding onto Kittu, protectively and a faint smile came on her lips.

"How is Kritika?" she said.

"She is fine...now but I don't know what will happen once she wakes up." I said.

"I wished we could have told her anything but that...but..." she stopped.

"What will happen to the person who mishandled the transplant?" I asked curiously.

She shook her head.

"These things happen more often than we like. At most the person who did it will just face suspension but even then its just a slap on the wrist. In Kittu's case, all we can do is just her back on the list and hopefully she will get one in time." She said the last part more slowly.

"How long does she have?" I asked her without looking at her.

"To be frankly speaking...we don't know. Kittu has been a fighter but most people with her condition usually don't get to age beyond their infant years. She has been remarkably been improving even though she has been having relapses. I can't give you a number as even when doctors have given an expiration date on patients...we have always been proven wrong." She said.

I stared at Kittu whose eyelashes rested on her cheek and she snuggled even more into my body.

"Its time now Mr. Shergill." She said.

I nodded.

"I'm going but I need to put Kittu back into our room first." I said as I kissed her forehead.

Anna nodded and I slowly picked up Kittu balancing her weight with mine as I got up.

She wasn't heavy at all so it wasn't a big deal picking her up without her moving or making a sound.

She snuggled even more and I smiled and kissed her forehead again.

"If you doting on her like that I doubt you will even come to get your stitches remove." Anna said while laughing.

"Is it possible? That I can delay it?" I looked at her expectantly, hopefully.

"That's not possible." She said.

I pouted and carried Kittu with me back to our room.