There is a difference between love and lust

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

714873

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#41

having premarital sex in our society is not justified, leave the talks about society. the girl should percieve herself as a culprit after doing so, its not about what society thinks or does, its about self respect of a girl and the control over your heart, i wont say the upbringing is responsible, because if upbringing would have been a reason, then no child would have spoilt from middle class family, because in middle class family the sacrament (sanskara) are the major thing taught to the girls.It would have been acceptable till any extent to me, but doing this one night before marriage and then leaving arjun doesnt makes me a sense here.if you were clear that you are not gonna marry him then why you took such decision??? is true love so weak that lovers get carried away just by just gust of emotions.

EDIT: planned or unplanned doesnt matters, what matters is your decision to stay with the one whom you have been committed, now it was not even about committment, it went over it, and commiting such in a relationship and later backing off just only proves it was something less than pavitra rishta.

Edited by Pari117 - 12 years ago

Quote

pari87

@pari87

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#42

loved ur post tich

Yup there is a difference between love an lust n what arvi had for each other was love ... had t been lust then they wud have done it the night they were in a room in that hotel in Pune ( Purvi did not know of her feelings for Arjun for her to jump at him that time)

today's was just chemistrilicious arvilicious epi n just loved it to the core.

as for "planned" and "unplanned", was not at all a concern for them coz they were any way going to get married and were gonna do it ... n who carries protection with them when they go shopping or whatever. ermmm who simply out for shopping end up going to a hut and doing the intimate one day before shaadi ..their hormones could not wait it seems. Such uncontrollable love should really be lauded. :P

ArVi's consummation was not planned and they were not worried about the illegitimate issues coz they were with the thought that its their marriage after few days, what happened at the cliff n the marriage fiasco was not foreseen by them ki they wud think "ki chalo we do it today then use protection coz we r not gonna get married n then do the tyaag" I think Purvi had one whole night to think over it. Ovi had coem to her with the deal right after Purvi dear lost her viriginity in that hut. She mulled over it all night and with all this thinking and unforeseeable circumstances, she still had time to take a pill and prevent this pregnancy. Because situation and life are often unpredictable most Indian parents advise their kids to wait for the act until after marriage ( not so much for the sake of society but for the sake of illegitimate children being subjected to a life of taunts ) and if the kids don't listen, then they should have the brains of using protection or not doing it at all when they don't have any, simply to avoid such life-destroying situations for later.

There is a lot I can argue over, but I'll leave it. Since Arjun-Purvi are seen as the emblem of love and tyaag, I only worry for the future of India's new generation being bred on these new moralistic ideas that PR generates.

Just my opinion

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Adi

@enigma6

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: Pancham101

Actually ...in this case.."protected" sex would be yuck worthy...

May I ask why? Can you please enlighten me ... in my world protected sex is not bad... but I know in some communities they do think practicing safe sex is wrong and that procreating is the only reason a man and woman should indulge in sex... but then in those communities they look even further down on pre marital sex... so I am very curious as to why you said what you said 🤓

Quote

Kehkasha

@K.Ahm

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#44

From what i know lust doesnt require any feelings except desire n i was just stating the difference
ending up in hut was not predicted n nor was them consuming predictable so y carry precaution
as 4 sacrificing n etc their wrong decision... the topic wasnt abt planned unplanned n in India its not acceptable but its an individual's choice ... arvi chose it their life. They do watever they want unless they take the responsibilty which purvi is doing quite well
I m against doing b4 marriage but pancho ungliya same nahi hoti n yes true love is very strong thats y u can trust urself wid ur partner. My view is only 4 dat night wat happened after dat is not my concern n its cv's choice

Originally posted by: pari87

Quote

Pancham101

@Pancham101

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: sindoorfan

May I ask why? Can you please enlighten me ... in my world protected sex is not bad... but I know in some communities they do think practicing safe sex is wrong and that procreating is the only reason a man and woman should indulge in sex... but then in those communities they look even further down on pre marital sex... so I am very curious as to why you said what you said 🤓

Because conveniently available protection would mean premeditated and premeditated would mean lust...

And whatever ArVi may be in ...lust is definitely NOT it ...

Quote

Manoshono

@Manoshono

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: Pancham101

Because conveniently available protection would mean premeditated and premeditated would mean lust...
And whatever ArVi may be in ...lust is definitely NOT it ...

well said sujata di. 👏 And arvi never meant to do it intentionally. It just happens to be that way.

Quote

sashashyam

@sashashyam

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#47

My dear Pari,

I am going off this forum for good, having had enough of this muck, which is very likely going get worse.

So, this is just to say that I found all your posts on this forum logical, rational and well argued. You are not, however, going to be able to convince any of the opposition, even on the sort of unarguable points at @blue here. It is like the Republicans and the Democrats in the US. I would have advised you to spare your breath, but I suppose you enjoy it, so that is fine.

As for me, I am only regretting all the hours I spent writing affectionate and protective posts about this pair (even now, I would blame Arjun far less that Purvi, for it was not he who ditched her for his own interests). I intend to at least cut my losses and spare my nerves. I like to see justice being done, and I do not want to watch Purvi getting one more coat of gilt on her halo after having demolished Arjun and very likely getting set to do an encore on the unsuspecting Onir, while hosannas are sung to her in PR and here as well.

Bye, my dear, and take care. Adieu (not au revoir).

Shyamala Aunty

Originally posted by: pari87

This "not planned" part results in way too many illegitimate children in this world. The parents go scot free and they are put in an orphanage because their "pavitra love" parents could not face society with this scar on their face. Children of these unmarried people are the ones who suffer long term and noone has that right to give them that life. If Purvi had not found Onir, this is exactly how her life would have turned out. She may have raised the child herself but what would the world call her? The pavitra ex of her jeejaji? And what would the child face all his life?

Trust is not the factor here. Even if people argue she loved her mother and this is her tyaag or whatever nonsense, fact is she for being brainless and mahaan put her mother's happiness before her, but now has put her child's future in jeopardy. And that is a worse sin than anything else.

MY POV strictly.

Originally posted by: arshi_arvi
[
OK agree it was "heat" of the moment act !!! But nope only Poorvi was not responsible for taking the morning after pill ... it was Arjun's responsibility too !!!! He did IT too right? So dear both r responsible... equally !!! And I would say given their respective backgrounds... I donno if Poorvi ever had got Sex Ed at school, but surely Arjun did... coming from Canada !!! He def. should know about the morning after pill

Umm Purvi and Arjun never planned to have sex that's why they didn't use protections or the pill. If they did, then what you guys were saying about Purvi being not sanskari would become true. Purvi gave in to Arjun's advances cause she trusted him. But the sad part is that she couldn't trust herself and gave in to her Aai and her aai's beti.

Quote

Kehkasha

@K.Ahm

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#48

@pari117 Dear even I am against doing sex before marriage because for me my parents comes 1st and then my fiance/lover (in future) whatever, but do u expect everyone to be like me and you. I have seen and believed that when there is love between two people and they are on the verge of getting married such hormonal changes do happen and sometimes you can actually loose control over yourself, its psychological and not related to sanskar/society/traditions/culture. Agree Indian culture is against such things but as a matter of fact i am just saying what i have seen that many of the Indians are hypocrites(even I am Indian), they say something and do something. A girl should preserve her Chasity I agree and believe but does it really happen now a days? especially when you are in a hut in a romantic ambiance with your soon to-be-husband who gives you all lovey dovey looks and whose mere touch can raise your temptation. Even the most respected/chaste/holy/saintly girl would loose control over herself because that is how a human body reacts to such things, some can control some can't. She should be ashamed of herself like you said, yes should be if it was done with the intention to enjoy but it was not and she knew she was going to marry him so her family's izzat was not on stake. Period!!!!!

Yes what happened after that was Purvi's fault and she should not have given up her love for Arjun or for that sake once her pregnancy was revealed she should have told Arjun and faced the wrath, humiliation,slaps whatever came her way coz that was her and Arjun's fault, but what happened that night cannot be linked with what was going to happen after that.

Just my opinion

Quote

714873

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: mjht_ArVi4ever
@pari117 Dear even I am against doing sex before marriage because for me my parents comes 1st and then my fiance/lover (in future) whatever, but do u expect everyone to be like me and you. I have seen and believed that when there is love between two people and they are on the verge of getting married such hormonal changes do happen and sometimes you can actually loose control over yourself, its psychological and not related to sanskar/society/traditions/culture. Agree Indian culture is against such things but as a matter of fact i am just saying what i have seen that many of the Indians are hypocrites(even I am Indian), they say something and do something. A girl should preserve her Chasity I agree and believe but does it really happen now a days? especially when you are in a hut in a romantic ambiance with your soon to-be-husband who gives you all lovey dovey looks and whose mere touch can raise your temptation. Even the most respected/chaste/holy/saintly girl would loose control over herself because that is how a human body reacts to such things, some can control some can't. She should be ashamed of herself like you said, yes should be if it was done with the intention to enjoy but it was not and she knew she was going to marry him so her family's izzat was not on stake. Period!!!!!
Yes what happened after that was Purvi's fault and she should not have given up her love for Arjun or for that sake once her pregnancy was revealed she should have told Arjun and faced the wrath, humiliation,slaps whatever came her way coz that was her and Arjun's fault, but what happened that night cannot be linked with what was going to happen after that.
Just my opinion

okey so according to you temptation plays such a major role that it can shiver the ideals and priorities set by them (here i assume purvi havng set some ideologies as she was shown like an ideal daughter) i will contradict, infact i am from india, and i have seen how the sanskari girls are, and even boys too.

as TM said arvi relationship was pious something and was very different from the love of todayz generation people who make and break easily (sry for not getting exact word) so i will just say if love was pure and different from world, then why they did the same which any making and breaking relations of this generation does?? why they didnt let it pure and would have chosen consummation after marriage??? where did uniqueness vanished (sorry if i am being harsh by my words)

and another thing i am not able to connect is being unmarried and being married, both phrases are different, may it be a gap of one day for her marriage but noone can deny that she was "UNMARRIED" its just that without license you are owning guns 😆 its totally illegal.

thanks for replying me btw 😊

Edited by Pari117 - 12 years ago

Quote

Kehkasha

@K.Ahm

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#50

I agree with you. But thats how Arjun and Purvi were portrayed by the cv's and yes temptation sometimes or many times actually play a very important role in making you do things you dont want to. Its evil and my dear Love is evil especially when you are crazily in love with someone which arvi were.

Strong or weak i dont know but yes Purvi's love for Arjun was not as strong as was her love for her aai and i am upset about that fact from the day they got married.

As for breaking up and dumping after doing it was wrong and utterly wrong on Purvi's part she should have thought ki Arjun wont face any problem but it would be she who would face the humiliation. Her dumbness and her fault.or CV's and their messed up story line.

Married-Unmarried again it was her choice, and many couple do it even though they wear the mask of sanskar etc, and arvi did with the wrong misconception that they will get married-Purvi again to be blame for the cliff night and arjun blamed for accepting it.

Overall nobody would have blamed the sanskar if they were married but just coz that mess happened we are upset in short.

So its not about sex-no sex its about marriage no-marriage.