Arjun-Purvi, RIP? - Page 9

Dear Archana,

What a very sweet and thoughful post. I am truly touched that you took so much trouble to make me feel better!

As for your 'sincere attempt to convince me to not despise Arjun for being spineless because of that confrontation', I appreciate that even more. I can accept a lot of what you have said, except that there is a level of harshness and venom in what Purvi says, and even more so in HOW she says it, that it is corrosive.

I feel strongly that even when one is in deep despair, one should not lose one's moorings and balance and say things that are so hurtful they scar the other person. You cannot always take back such words when next you feel better, and while I agree that Arjun does not react in kind partly because he feels so guilty, and understands where she is coming from, there is such a thing as being too understanding.

Moreover, it is not that Purvi lashed out in such a searing fashion only when she felt so badly let down after the engagement fiasco. She talked in exactly the same extreme and hurtful fashion after the infamous 'kiss' , when she accused Arjun of having made a pass at her. I still remember the look of resignation on his face - he closed his eyes in a tired gesture and said nothing at all.

So you see, it is in her nature to say whatever comes into her head, and the more hurtful the better. There is a strong self-righteous streak in her, and the hectoring style follows from that. When she feels that all is going well with her romance - and it is curious that she seems to have no real concerns about whether DK will accept her - she basks like a kitten in the sun. When there is trouble, and the man she claims to love needs, not support or even understanding, but only that she should listen to him just once, she turns that down and rounds on him with a viper's tongue. This is not love, it seems more to be wounded vanity trying to hit back, and the harder the better.

Of course it is all as much Arjun's fault as Purvi's - she is able to trample all over him because he lets her. I only hope he does not start pleading with her again and humiliate himself further. Nothing is worth that, least of all a love that denies its own existence. Masochism never helps anyone, it is invariably self-destructive.

There was another thing I could not understand, and that is Arjun's total lack of focus and his unpreparedness. He is a hard core and very successful businessman, and he knows that for any important business meeting you HAVE to prepare well in advance, and when you make a presentation you MUST to anticipate the likely questions and have the answers ready. This is the SOP for any professional meeting, and I have done this hundreds of times in my career.

How then does it come about that for this, perhaps the most important meeting of his life, he did not seem to have worked out what he wanted to say at all ? Nor was he prepared for tackling the accusations that Purvi would be bound to hurl at him, and it would hardly have been difficult to guess them. Instead, he kept on saying "Meri baat to suno' again and again, till Ms. Purvi rounded on him and told him not to be under the misapprehension that she had come there to listen to him; she had come to deliver her verdict!

Arjun was articulate enough in when he revealed his love to Purvi, and one wonders what happened to him in the interim. He resembles – I repeat myself but you will bear with me – nothing so much as a shorn Samson, bereft of both strength and focus. I hope this meltdown does not percolate into his business dealings, as it did for Purvi after her engagement was broken off. There will be no one to console him and boost his morale as he did then for Purvi.

I completely agree with you that Arjun has to get" his fire and power back". He needs to rediscover his backbone and leave Purvi alone for as long as it takes. Any more shots of him playing Devdas, with or without the whisky glass, will make ME go postal! I was glad they left him out on Friday, but this obviously cannot last for long and he will be back next week. He should get his act together, be completely correct and professional with Purvi if she continues at her post (it will be even simpler if she does not), and strive for self-possession even if he is still awaiting better times. I am no admirer of the British in general, but there are times when there is a lot to be said for a stiff upper lip!

Thanks again for taking the time to write and try to cheer me up. You did.