Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi
@Hope:
😳🤗Hej Hope 😊, yes it has been long. Few recent weeks were nothing less than a different planet experience 😃. The wedding of my sister in law, along with preceding ceremonies and post marriage receptions occurred. A full fledged Indian marriage with big drums and big gifts and big feasts 😆, nothing could be small 😊. I cannot describe it back in Poland to my cousins and my friend, I wonder if they will ever believe and not discount thinking it is exaggeration 😆. But I guess you will know what I mean ... 😉
It all continued for 2 months, everything we did it had something to do with the marriage. In this time I personally had lots of blessings, thanks to kools too, she gave me 2 remarkable tips in life which I cannot forget 😊, and they worked.
About surrogacy, it is definitely a very tough choice, but I guess it is better still when the topic of adoption comes. I know some of our friends here must be having a different story they came across 😊, but I saw it very near as a member of the Catholic Girl's Group 😊.
We had trainings before being posted with a fixed duty (as volunteers). I had some close experience on the "things behind the scene" of adoption. It is never easy with the child who is to be adopted, and it is always a very complex thing. A blond little girl running around looks like a doll 😊, but she had more in her than just her present presentation. A human child is not only about the short term experience. It has a whole different psychological framework. The parents need to align themselves with it, and so must the child. However, more often than not, atleast one party fails to do it properly, and in such relationships the smallest of errors keep growing with time and take various challenging shapes. It is too detailed to explain in a post, it is about experience, training and formal education on how to handle such children and also the elderly.
Bottom line I can say is that it does not always work, and it is not about just some months or years, but an entire life of relationship. Many people look at the "attachment" part, but there is a very real "detachment" part too. This is not easy to explain even, which makes it more difficult.
The particular Church and the administration believed in charity and infrastructure for the Orphans more than adoption. Do you know the current laws of Poland and neighboring Countries on adoption? It is becoming more strict.
It is true that my knowledge of India is limited. But I think children are similar everywhere, because they are innocent and growing. So I could input 😊
If you think I made errors 😳, then it can be 😉😃, but I did communicate 😉 😳. These is a offpeak week you can say 😎, not much to do. Relaxing, but go to shop tomorrow to buy some cloth and a movie called "Mother India" (as suggested to me by kool here). Also, a few books 😊. I love books, and it seems they are available and not so expensive in India 😊.
🤗
OMG I totally missed this post. sorry
so glad u enjoyed the wedding and famly. yes I do understand. your friends will have to see it to believe it.
I don't think you made any errors re adoptive children. the fact is that these children are orphaned or put up for adoption because of some incident in their lives and that incident does have lasting effects. Also, genetical they maybe predispositioned to certain vices or personality traits just like any other child. this is not their fault but when it is one's natural children who behave's erroneously because of influence within one's family or genetic traits, there is a natural tendency to respond without judgement and even justify. this is not the case with adoption.
when the child is your own, there is acceptance of its positive and negative traits because of the blood relationship. when the child is adopted, there are sometimes unrealistic expectations about the child's model behaviour and less tolerance of shortcomings in the long run. especially when the adopted child is not an infant but an older child. I have actually seen this happen in real life.
varsha's child in womb was healthy and innocent yet it did not fit in with her plans and so she aborted it.
she may not do so with another natural child (lessons learnt from this one) as Bhavna will watch her like hawk knowing that Satish is not as vocal
but with the adopted child Bhavna will be indifferent and if that child is a problematic one and this is misaligned with Varsha at any stage of her life then what happens to the child?
a child born by a surrogate will still be her and Satish's blood.
archana and manav are better candidates for adoptive parents. they already demonstrate how accepting they are of strangers. Varsha and vaishali do not have the same mindset. Satish by himself is very much like Archana and Manav, however, he makes grave allowances and accomodations where Varsha is concerned.🤗
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