*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 113

Redemption 212

There are five big cat species that call the sub-continent of India as their home and habitat and they are the Asiatic lion,tiger,leopard,snow leopard and the clouded leopard.Of these five cat species,the leopard is the most cunning and resourceful in nature and can survive in any kinds of habitat,ranging from the himalayan peaks and down to the city suburbs where human species have encroached on the habitat of other species.

When city and forest habitat clash and cross over,naturally conflicts do happen and apart from attacks,domesticated species such as goats,sheep,calves,chickens and dogs go missing and always it is due to a leopard,the slinkiest and the best hunter of his species.

Even in africa,the leopard is greatly feared for it makes its home high in the trees and man and prey have no idea when a leopard can fall on them and attack them and mostly it is always fatal.

This attacks are very common in the city of mumbai in the famous film city where nearly five fatal attacks have taken place and now leopards are boldly entering the city suburbs and are preying on dogs that are now their favourite menu.

A male indian leopard weighs nearly 170 pounds or 77 kgs and can lift a prey that is twice its weight and climb vertically up a tree and stash it high in the branches,safe from other predators.



In shikarpur,that was surrounded by dense forest all around it,a leopard had never been a problem for the forest lay nearly 40 kms away but for the thin patch that ran along the city's perimeter and entered the city and stopped at the estate of som lal,the aviation minister devi lal's son.

But for the past two weeks,goats and calves ahd gone missing from the edge of the city and although the protests had not reached a crescendo,rumors had been spreading that something mysterious was going on.The circle inspector of shikarpur had put this down to petty criminals and thieves and although had turned a blind eye to it had asked his men to keep an eye out for any suspicious movements.


The animal in question and in this context of shikarpur was a large male leopard and he was far away from his habitat and yet some strange instinct had alerted him and made him turn his back on his forest domain where he was the top cat and had pulled him towards the town of shikarpur.

The leopard was an above average specimen and he looked larger and surely weighed larger than his other kith and kin and yet he had felt a tremor,a sort of vibration that awoke some deep sense of purpose in his soul and he had come and lived in the small dense forest that lay all around the estate.


Rudran slipped into the forest and now with a balaclava covering his face,his mobile on vibration mode and with the rubber mats that were going to help him cross the electric fence that was on top of the fifteen foot wall that protected the estate,he slowly made his way deeper and deeper into the forest unerringly in the direction of the entrance that lay behind the property.

After about ten minutes through the dense vegetation,Rudran stopped and stood still for he felt a strange and eerie presence in front of him.Dropping to his knees,he softly and noiselessly placed the rubber mats he hsd been carrying on the grass near his feet and with his right hand swiftly drew the nine inch ka bar knife and peering into the darkness,switched his senses on and in the dark Rudran's eyes flared into a bright green and he saw the huge leopard sitting about fifteen feet ahead of him and gazing at him calmly.

Man and cat looked at each other and the beast whispered ' welcome friend for i was just beginning to give up hope that you would never make it here and that my trip was a waste.'

Rudran stood still and sent his thoughts across ' Thank you for being here and who might you be my friend.'

The big cat growled softly ' we always come as pairs and we always come from the light and me and my kind are always called by one name,Buddha.'

Speaking these words,the big cat launched itself and fell on rudran and holding him gently in its powerful limbs,began to lick his face and man and beast were one and tonight they were going to hunt as a pair.

Jannal oram 78


Raman always set his alarm for 6.00 am and with the advent of cell phones,it was pretty easy for unlike a clock,he could set a phone to wake him up everyday and throughout the time the mobile stayed with him.And a mobile phone made remembering things such as birthdays and wedding anniversaries so much easier.

But it was not 6.00 am and it was not the sound of his alarm tone but it was the ring tone that he had specifically set for Jeeva who he felt was his jeevan.Raman as was his nature was not the type of person who got up from his sleep still asleep and without coordination between his mind and limbs and was the type who was either wide awake or fast asleep and he came awake instantly and reaching for his mobile whispered softly ' good morning babe' and Jeeva ' just to hear your deep and sexy morning voice,i am going to wake you up everyday and my apologies for that.'

Raman smiled ' jeeva,slept well and i hope there were no late night discussions at home' and jeeva quickly ' okay advocate,from that alone i can fathom that you too had a talk with your folks.well,the same here and i told them what my plans were and they are okay with it although my dad feels pretty terrible about the fact that i have voluntarily taken on the burden of managing the house on my shoulders.'

Raman softly ' Jeeva,i am sorry that things are not better than this,but i think they will get better in the future.'

Jeeva sadly ' raman,lets be practical and face the fact that all our lives cannot be the same and all of us cannot live a dream life like the ambanis and birlas do.We have to be realistic and manage and make do with what god has given us and i think that if everybody realises that fact then life on earth will be more calmer and peaceful.'

' I know jeeva,but then it is not like that for we see on a daily basis how each and everyone secretly covet and dream of another's life and this only transforms into greed,ego,craving for power and wealth and soon a good and decent life is turned into a criminal one.I see this and hear this everyday of my advocates life and it sickens me and saddens me so much.'


Jeeva nodded ' truly sad raman that humans complicate such an uncomplicated life.But like you said,there is pretty much nothing we can do about the rest of the world and have to carve out our own world and live quietly in it and get on with life i guess.'

Raman hearing noises from the bedroom,realised that his parents were up and about and told jeeva ' sweetie,i have got to go and i will see you by 8.00 at the bus stop.'

Jeeva ' ram,it is okay if you can't make it and want to spend some time with your parents.We can always meet up for lunch in your chambers' and raman ' no,no.I have to be at the court for i am going to meet govind and talk to him about a very important development that has come about in our case and he will want to hear the good news as soon as possible.'

' Okay raman,catch you at the bus stop and please convey my regards to your parents.Bye baby' and gently smooched the phone and raman hearing the smack of her lips ' andha phone naana irukka koodatha.lucky phone.always close to her lips.'

Jannal oram 79

Skill alone cannot teach or produce a great short story, which condenses the obsession of the creature; it is a hallucinatory presence manifest from the first sentence to fascinate the reader, to make him lose contact with the dull reality that surrounds him, submerging him in another that is more intense and compelling. Julio Cortzar

Raman laid his head back his heart still savoring the moments of conversation and his lips smiled revealing his soul and then hearing a noise,he raised himself on his left elbow and saw his dad shaktivel sitting in the sofa next to him,his eyes full of raman,his only son.

Father and son looked at each other and the older soul looked at the younger soul ' she is still sleeping.I didn't have the heart to wake her up for these small breaks from her school work are the only holidays she gets for her own.'

Raman nodded in agreement ' appa,just another year for her retirement and then she will have all the time to herself and just wait and see for then she will soon tire of sleep and all the free time.But what about you,are you sleeping all right these days.'

Shaktivel looked at his son ' forget about and me and my sleep for i am glad that i have these few minutes to talk to you alone without your mother being here' and raman quickly sat up for from the tone alone,he knew that his dad was going to say something serious and with a bit of worry ' appa,is everything okay.Is it about last night and about jeeva and me.'

Shaktivel ' iyya,you are correct on both counts but please don't worry for i am not going to insist that we talk about last nights rather delicate situation about your wedding for there is something more important than all that and i know that you and jeeva have and for that i am thankful and grateful to god and to life.'

Raman slightly puzzled ' sorry appa,you lost me' and shaktivel ' i know sorry for not being more clearer and you are right for there was a time when i was lost too.'

Raman leaned forward with concern and taking both his dad's hands ' appa,you are scaring me and and i don't scare that easily but when it comes to matters that are close to my heart and dad,you are my whole heart.Please tell me what is on your mind for i cannot stand to see you sad and as it is i am feeling miserable that i am not able to give you both what you want and that is seeing me married,settled and with a child of my own for you to love and cherish.'

Shaktivel shook his head ' thambi,don't ever say that for after last night and after meeting jeeva,i know that the gods have blessed our family and that you will be always happy and loved and taken care off,long after me and your mother are gone.That is enough for me for more than anything,my worry is that my son who is my life and soul should be safe and protected even when i am no longer around.'

Raman hugged his dad tightly ' dad,having you and amma as my parents has been a blessing and a joy by itself and nothing and no one can top that,period and ever.'

Taking the edge of his bed sheet,he wiped his dads tears and remembering something ' appa,you still haven't told me what is on your mind for i know you very well and i am hundred percent sure that something is weighing on your mind.'

Shaktivel looked at his raman ' thambi,there is something i have never told your mother, a secret that lies buried in my soul and it is something i never had an opportunity to reveal to anyone or rather i never trusted anyone enough to share it with before.But,i think you have a right to know for it will make things clearer as you get on with your life.'

Both,father and son were so engrossed in each other and the moment that they were sharing that they did not realise that valliammai had got up and was about to come out of the room,when she stopped after hearing her husbands words.

Outside in the hall,Shaktivel looked at his son raman ' ramu,last night,your mother and you were teasing me about our first night and how it took a few weeks for us to be intimate with each other and the reason was that i was in love with someone else at that point of my life and it took that few weeks to realise what a precious person your mother was and how much she loved me and needed me and it took all that time for me to forget my past and move forward with my future.'

Raman shell shocked ' dad,what are you saying? why didn't you do anything about it?'

Shaktivel ' it was a different time.different generation and the lady in question was from a lower caste and not only that she was a christian convert.'

Raman ' so what,you loved her.wasn't that enough.isn't that enough or isn't the most important thing for a marriage appa.'

Shaktivel smiling sadly,gently patted raman's cheek ' thambi,you have that luxury because you are our son and love is the only criteria for us but those days were totally different and my parents were not like me or your mother and don't forget that your grand father was the Trichy panchayat head and also the local DMK leader and all those factors combined made me and my love i had for the lady very difficult and also very dangerous to say the least.'

Raman sighing loudly ' appa,how? how did you manage to lock,seal and hold all this to yourself and what happened to her,i mean that lady in question.'

Shaktivel happily ' oh,she is okay,i think.I haven't seen her in a very long time although your mother must be seeing her on a daily basis.'

Raman nearly jumped out of his seat 'what,amma knows this lady,where and how?'

Shaktivel ' iyaa,she teaches in the same school that your mother does and she is your favourite teacher too.'

Raman stared at his dad and at the same time trying to recollect his school days and then his lips moved softly and quietly ' caroline miss.You mean my english teacher.The soft,gentle lady and whose favourite i was.OMG.'

Near the bedroom door,out of sight,valliammai stood listening to every word,both her men spoke and rather than get angry,upset and heartbroken,she smiled for she had known for many a year now that miss.caroline and her husband had loved each other and that she still lived with him in her heart and lived with him only,unmarried and lived all alone in her small flat.


Raman totally upset and overcome with grief ' oh god dad,i am so sorry for you.I don't what to say but that i hope things had worked out for you.'

Shaktivel looked at raman ' no,please don't say that for then i wouldn't have had the honor of meeting your mother and i wouldn't have had the privilege of having you as my son.'

Taking raman's hands,father looked at his son ' this is what i came to talk to you about and that is sometimes things work out in end for the best.But,never give up on the one you love and jeeva is special and both of you make a great couple.If the wedding is delayed,it is okay,it can wait as long as you have each other and i will support you and stand by you in all your decisions.'

Raman speechless and totally lost for words gently hugged his dad and ' thank you appa.Thank you so much for understanding me and my feelings.'

And then,with his head on his dad's shoulder,raman raised his eyes and saw his mother standing there with her hands folded and with a calm smile on her face and then she raised a hand and placed a finger on her lips and shook her head and quietly went into the room and closed the door leaving raman with his thoughts and confusion and more importantly his love for jeeva stronger and stronger.


Uyire en Uyire ennavo Nadakirathey..
Adadaa Intha Nodi Vaazhvil Inikirathey..
Oru Nimidam Oru Nimidam enai Nee Piriyaathey..
enatharugil Nee Irunthaal Thalai Kaal Puriyaathey..

engeyo Unmugam Naan Paartha Gnyaabagam..
eppotho Unnudan Naan Vaazhntha Gnyaabagam..
Naan Vaazhntha Gnyaabagam..

Jannal oram 80

Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Raman's parents informed him that they had some shopping to do and asked him to join them for the reception later that evening.Raman told them he would try but would be able to confirm it only later in the day for he had no idea what was going to happen after the meeting with Govind in the ashok and pramila divorce case.

His dad Shaktivel told him it was okay and that his work and clients were important than the reception and requested Raman to at least attend the wedding the next day morning and raman told them that was more of a doable thing and he agreed purely to spend more time with his parents than attend a wedding of people he hardly any knowledge or clue about.

His distant relation and who was also the owner of the out house that he was residing in provided breakfast for all three of them and left them alone to eat in peace and valliammai seeing her son with one eye on the plate and one eye on the clock asked raman what was the big hurry about and he winked and told her that it was all for love.

Both his dad an mum looked at raman who smiled ' aiyo,i was just kidding.In case you don't remember,the place where jeeva works is very close to the high court and that is how we met,while travelling in the same bus.But now for the past few weeks,we have been travelling in my car and so i meet her everyday at about 8.30 am and drop her off near the high court and from where she walks it up to her work place.'

Shaktivel looked at raman ' what is this place called where jeeva is working?' and raman answered ' k.k.Enterprises'.

Raman opened the gate and thanked subbaiya,a middle aged man who went around cleaning all the cars in the neigbourhood and made a killing from it and getting into his santro turned the key and started the engine.

Shaktivel went around inspecting the car and then leaning towards raman ' Thambi,the vehicle is showing its age and maybe you should think of getting a new car,maybe a more bigger and luxurious model.'

Raman nodded with a smile ' okay dad.But maybe after the marriage for the car is more than enough for me and my work' and valliammai with a naughty smile ' thats correct,more than enough for the work you are doing.'

Raman looked at his mother ' amma,vayasaachu,is this how you talk to your adult and grown up son.chee,chee'

Valliammai ' chellam,even if you are sixty and i am ninety and if i am around i will treat you like my new born baby and tease you and play with you.'

Coming closer,she pulled his face towards her and planted a loving kiss on his forehead and both his cheeks and then remembering something ' raman,i have to take drishti for you for god knows how many people will be casting bad eyes on you.saniyanunga.'

Looking at both of them ' appa,amma, as long as i have your best wishes and love to protect me,nothing can touch me and i also have jeeva's love along with that of yours and so i am safe.podhuma.'

Waving to them,he slowly reversed and then straightening the steering slowly made his way out of the lanes and entered the main road and came to a halt just ahead of the bus stop and opening the door,turned to jollu kottufy at his sweetheart and jeeva entered the car and filled it with the aroma of flowers,her subtle perfume and even more intoxicating subtle fragrance of her body.

Raman sniffed her like a dog and jeeva ' sir,advocate sir,i am not carrying or wearing any bomb,so you can stop your sniffing test' and raman ' i can spend my whole day just looking at you and sniffing you.'

They both held hands and despite and an overwhelming urge to kiss and bury their tongues in each other's mouths,they resisted and spent a whole minute looking at each other,drinking each other as if they were meeting after a very long time.

Raman steered the car and entered the bumper to bumper traffic and jeeva sensing something ' baby,what is on your mind for i sense some kind of agitation in you.talk to me and share it for it might feel less of a burden after that.'

Raman ' no,jeeva it is not about me but about my dad and mum and generally about people and all our lives and all the secrets we live with stored and locked away deep in our souls.never forgotten,never forgiven,nursed forever as an open wound.'

Jeeva turned away from raman and stared out of her window ' easier said than done for i know the feeling.'

Raman took her hand and squeezed it softly and looking at her eyes ' i love you baby.'

Jeeva with a blush filling her cheeks,looked up at him ' I know raman.I love you too.Anyway you were saying something and i hope you can add to it and be more specific for i don't have a legal mind like you do.'


Raman ' love story. A beautiful story and one that has endured for a long,long time and still does.'

Driving slowly,he told her about what had taken place between him and his dad and jeeva with eyes wide open ' what,so your mum heard everything? then that means she has some clue or an idea about your dad and his past.'

Raman thought about it ' just when i thought my dad was great,my mum competes and tries to prove that she is even greater by her silence and understanding.'

Jeeva sadly ' I think we are both blessed with such wonderful angels as our parents.I hope we can do good and do better with them and spare them more misery than they have already endured.'

Turning to raman ' i really wish we can get married right away and give the happiness that they are seeking.But i have to be practical and have to think of the larger picture too.'

Raman turned slightly to her and looked at her from his soul ' i am waiting and i will wait for however long it will take and i am right next to you and i am not going anywhere.okay sweetie.'

People are always telling me to smile, like smiling is going to just take away all the hurt and pain. Well I've tried that I've tried hiding my sorrows and covering the sadness in smiles and what I've learned is that when it hurts this much inside your heart always has a way of showing it no matter how many masks you wear.

Jannal oram 81

Raman brought the car to a gentle halt and putting the gear into neutral,turned to jeeva who already had been staring at him and with a smile,Raman asked her ' enna,why this staring.ma'am?' and jeeva with a smile shook her head ' Do you realise how lucky we are to experience this love that has bloomed,blossomed between us and do you realise how precious this love and feelings are.'

Taking ramans hands,jeeva looked at them and then at raman ' i am a woman just shy of 30 and the only other women i know of are my mum and sister suja and yes,the staff members and i am largely cut off from my own friends and hardly interact with women of my age and so i am not sure what to feel,how to feel and if it is right to feel.But,honestly,i feel so much for you and it hardly matters whether you are near me or not for i have you inside me all the time,constantly and all i crave is for your love.To be loved by you and to be safe in your arms.'

Raman stared,lost in her words and slightly emotional ' jeeva,everyday i pray to god and thank him for sending you to me.I have always thought,that i was the luckiest son and that i had the greatest parents that any child could dream of and now a cushy job and a safe and comfortable life and a comfortable career and yet all this means nothing and also at the same time means everything for you have changed my entire life and given new meaning to me and my needs.It all makes sense now with you in my life and your words reflect exactly what i think.'

Jeeva's eyes suddenly filled with tears ' raman,sometimes i get very scared,so scared when i think about losing you and not having you by my side.I get so lost and confused and my hands start trembling and i nearly become a nervous wreck.But then i think of you or talk to you and i become all right once again.'

Raman gently wiped away the tears that glittered like diamonds in her almond shaped eyes ' jeeva,i am not going anywhere and it is perfectly okay to feel all that you are feeling and i feel it too,but then you know me,a man who is always in control and just a replica like his father,the great mr.shaktivel.'

Jeeva sniffing ' so sad raman.poor man for god knows how much pain he must have experienced and how much effort it must have taken to forget the past and step into the future with your mother and make a good life.But then,bravo to your mum too,for she must have at some point sensed and understood the situation and yet coped with it bravely and made a great life with your dad and now,because of those two great,strong souls,i have my own baby,you sweetheart for myself.'

Forgetting it was broad daylight,raman pulled her roughly towards him and covered her mouth with his and kissed her strongly and roughly and after a few moments,jeeva pulled back breathlessly ' god,where did this tiger spring out from,oof mister.now that was a kiss to take my breath away.'

Looking at him ' so there is another shade to the soft and gently lover of mine ' and then hurriedly she looked at him and then turned away shyly and raman seeing this pulled her shoulder and facing her ' what is jeeva? you were about to say something,go on,just say it.'

Jeeva shyly,looked up ' can we take a selfie together.just to keep me going when you are not around' and raman nodded and she put the camera in a selfie mode and raman brought his face closer to her and she clicked and clicked as he planted his lips on her cheeks and then on her ears and she clicked dozens of pics and turning to him ' thank you raman' and raman ' no baby,no thanks,no excuses between us for we are not two but one.'

He watched her go,watched her walk and his soul left his body and went away with her following her footsteps,mingling with her shadow and closing his eyes,he whispered ' thank you god.thank you for bringing her to me and please give me the strength to look after her,love her and protect her for everyday of her life.'

Releasing the handbrake,he shifted to first gear and headed towards the High court that loomed red and domed on his right and the world felt better and great and it was a brand new day and the sun was out,pleasant and bright.

Parking his car,he got out and walked,flew,floated towards his chambers where he was supposed to meet Govind and discuss the ashok and pramila's case and also to tell him what exactly had happened in their lives and who had played a dark and deadly game and he had the photos that former dig mr.devarajan had given him.

Feeling on top of the world,raman strode in long steps and just as he opened the door,he heard the sobs and saw govind sitting with his head buried in his hands,crying his guts out.

Raman shut the door and hurried to govind and kneeling in front of him ' govind,dei govind.ennada.what is wrong?'

Jannal oram 82


Govind looked up into raman's eyes and began to cry and hearing his sobs,seeing his best friend cry so pitifully,raman's heart felt it was tearing itself and gently holding both of govinds shoulders,raman gently shook him ' govind,talk to me please.what happened da?'

Govind wiping his eyes,looked into his dearest friend,a person who he had secretly and sometimes openly hero worshipped and like a child ' that poor lady hung herself and died raman' and raman shocked ' who,which lady are you talking about govind? is it one of your clients?'

Govind nodded pathetically ' that old lady nirmala for whose sake i appeared last evening in the divorce case filed by her husband.Yesterday,she stood as the judge delivered her judgement and then she sat outside in the bench for a very long time and i too sat with her and she spoke to me and even then i had no clue as to what she was planning to do.'

Raman wanted to say something,but thinking better of it,kept quiet for he knew that nothing he said would help govind to feel better and knowing his friends gentle and kind soul,raman just hugged him and held him close to himself.

' govind,this is life buddy.There is nothing we can do and please understand that by the time we end our careers and by the time our lives come to an end,we would have seen and experienced much worse than this.Che,paavam,what to do but cry for her soul to be at peace.'

Govind looked at raman ' my heart feels so heavy and as if it is drowning in some poison ram.God,i wish this case hadn't come to me for i don't have the strength to take all this pain.I am not you raman and i am not as strong and powerful as you are or always have been.Enough man,i am going to give up this bloody,cruel practice and do something else raman for i dont know how much more of this shit i can take and maybe i might just bloodly hang myself and put myself out of this misery and miserable life.'

Raman looked at govind ' say that again and i will slap you so hard that you fart and pee in your pants you bloody stupid coward.'

Grabbing govind by his shoulders,raman shook him hard ' who do you think you are? you think you are god and that you are in control and that you have all the answers to all the questions that are posed to you? What f**king ego you have? we are nothing,you and me.We are here just to do a job and try to help as much and as best as possible and we cannot break down for every poor soul that loses faith and then what will the others do.? what will i do without you as my stupid friend? who will i talk to and who will i drink beer with and who will share my sadness and failures if not you?selfish bas***d,how dare you say those scary and painful words.'

wiping his tears that had begun to flow from his own eyes,raman started smiling and govind with a shaky and squeaky voice ' enda,why are you laughing?' and raman looking out of the window that led to air and light in jeeva's direction,he turned to govind ' ille,i was laughing for i just remembered that a few minutes ago i was kissing jeeva and taking selfies with her and here i am crying and swearing at you.what a damned funny and comic life we lead man?Unbelievable,just out of a book it feels and seems.'

Govind looked at raman ' the cops called me for she had written three letters and one of them was for me and enclosed in it was a cheque for what she owed me as legal fees and the other letter was for her husband and the third one was for her two sons.The cops called me and i am supposed to go there for they are having difficulty in locating her husband or soon to be divorced ex-husband.'

Raman breathed heavily ' ok.get up and we will go to her flat and over see that everything is done properly and that she is sent on her final voyage in peace,dignity and with love.get up,pogalam vaa.'

Govind nervously ' dei ramu,i cannot bear to watch her in that state man.mudiyathu daa machaan.I saw her last evening man and poor lady,she looked at me and said,sir,i am nearly 68 and both my sons are abroad and now my husband and marriage of 50 years are over and i have no one to turn to and i am just thinking what there is to look forward but sadness and loneliness in my final remaining years of advanced old age.'


Raman pulled govind up ' i am there and i will be there and see you through the whole process.okay,now man up and let us go.and what was her name govind? and govind whispered sadly ' nirmala.'

Raman threw his arm around govind ' dei,live,fight and die fighting not only for yourself but for me and all the other nirmalas who need help and who need someone to talk to and lean on.Your life is not only yours to give up but it belongs to this universe and you owe it and are obliged to pay it back for all the love and kindness that it has blessed you with.Live for yourself and for your needs but just not for yourself but for also others,apoo thaan you can be really happy with yourself.Be the candle and the be the wick,melt yet shine for others for they are many who are in far worse situations than you and have sacrificed more,a lot more than you.Live for nirmala's spirit and fight for all the nirmala's you are going to appear in court as their advocate.Okay pal.'

Govind nodded and hugged raman ' thanks da,you are my hero da.then,now and forever.'


Flashback to chapter 66-page no 138 posted on aug 28th

Govind stood watching raman leave and as always felt much better and confident after talking to him for the quiet and calm raman had that effect on him and he knew that things would be okay,for raman always came up with a solution for all problems,however complicated they were.

He looked around and spotted Mr.venkatadri on the first floor already waiting near the entrance of the family court who waved happily and govind sighed sadly and looked up at the skies ' crap,here we go again' and waving back to his client with a false smile that he reserved for such clients and which did not reach shine in his eyes walked towards his client who stood in slim fit jeans with sticks as legs and a tight shirt that did nothing to hide his seventy year old paunch,that had grown and accumulated over the decades.

Govind looked around the court and saw all the sad faces who had come for divorces and child custody battles and looked at his client venktadri who was in the process of divorcing his wife nirmala after 50 years of marriage,that had borne them two sons,both married and settled in the modern world of america.

Ventadri had married nirmala when he was 20 and when she was 18 or so and now after 50 years and having achieved the grandfather status,he had filed for divorce and the reason was his new found 35 year old lover,priya or something and also mainly due to the blue pill,viagra that had given new energy to old men and their rusty love making skills and parts.

Venktadris wife,soon to be ex-wife, nirmala was a 10th std pass student,a docile and timid woman,who had spent her entire married life underneath her husbands dominance in life and in bed and had given him two sons and had known nothing but the kitchen and her pooja room.

And now in her late sixties,she stood all alone with no one by her side and a horny,viagra filled husband who wanted an younger woman in his bed and in his arm as he cruised through all the clubs and pubs and also hubs where men like him and in his age flaunted their conquests in sex and other crass needs.

On hindsight,venktadri was willing to give away,his house and put enough crores in the bank for his ex-wife to live on and all he wanted was his freedom to be with his new found sex-kitten who really was not a kitten but a cat who had been around the block and had seen everything and had done everything,facts her new lover,sugar daddy and soon to be hubby was not aware of or probably did not not want to know of for all he wanted was young ,slim and a sexy body for his needs and it did not matter that he was destroying his wife's pure soul and a marriage of 50 years.

But sadly,in the eyes and in the courts of law,nothing can be done about it and after having been separated for nearly a year,the judgement was going to be delivered today and govind was stuck with the wrong client for he wished he was on the side of right,next to nirmala who was going to be divorced at the age of 68 and would step out as miss.nirmala and not mrs.nirmala venktadri any more but without the youth or zest that the young nirmala had posesssed 50 years ago.

Govind's eyes filled with tears seeing this tragedy unfold before him and he thought ' god,is a marriage only about sex and is it not made up of something more precious and unseen like god and isn't that thing called love.'

Jannal oram 83


Raman opened the front passenger door and went around and got in and watched quietly as Govind settled into the seat and then asked him to wear the seat belt and asked him where to.

Govind ' Sholinganallur,OMR near the toll gate' and Raman ' but i thought you mentioned once that before the divorce,the Mrs.Nirmala was staying in a posh independent house in Mylapore.'

Govind in a very low voice ' once her husband decided to go ahead with the divorce proceedings,he moved out and began to stay in some posh service villa on ECR and Mrs.Nirmala thought that it would be beneath her dignity to stay in the very house that she had lived during the many years of marriage and found this one bedroom flat for herself and has been staying there for a few months now.'

Raman drove as fast as the traffic would allow him and they made quick progress until they reached the tidel park road and soon the traffic slowed to a crawl and he turned to govind ' forget the husband but what about the sons for she being a iyer,there are a lot of rituals and funeral rites to follow and so we have to make arrangements for the body to be kept in a freezer box until the sons arrive from United states.'

Govind's whole body racked in sobs and he began to cry like a small boy and raman took his left hand and gently squeezed his friends shoulder ' govind,it is okay da.I am here and i will handle everything okay.Just be calm.'


They turned left near the toll gate and took the road that headed towards global hospitals and then govind asked raman to take a right and raman slowly steered the vehicle and instantly both knew from the presence of a few police jeeps,a mortuary van and crowds that they had arrived at their destination which had been the late Nirmala's final destination.

It was a five floor apartment and both of them saw people peeping from every window,nook and corner and people from nearby buildings too had gathered to see the spectacle of death and raman thought to himself ' today nirmala,tomorrow one of you or many of you.'

Some of the people gathered slowly gave way as they saw the two advocates move through them and govind went forward and a sub-inspector who was talking to a few constables looked in their direction and moved towards them.

' vanakkam,who is govind among you two? i am SI Palanivel.'

Govind shook hands with the sub inspector palanivel and introduced raman to him and the sub inspector looked at both of them ' we think she hung herself late,last evening,sometime between 7.00 pm and 9.00 pm and she seems to have left the front door unlocked.'

Turning and pointing to another older woman,sub inspector palanivel ' that lady is the one who delivers milk and then comes back and deliver flowers to some of the apartments and it was when she returned to give the flowers that she found the milk still lying outside the door and wondering and worrying that something was wrong she pushed open the door and called out to the lady and not getting a response finally went to the bedroom and found the lady hanging from the ceiling.'

The old lady who the SI was talking about slowly came forward with tears in her eyes and said vanakkam to all three of them.

Sub inspector palanivel told them that her name was Kanagam and the old lady obviously overcome with grief began to cry and govind gently hugged her and consoled her.

At this point,a very distinguished and elderly gentleman came up to them and introduced himself as the secretary of the buildings in that compound and looking at the sub inspector ' sir,please make arrangements to remove the body as quickly as possible.This is a high class residential area and we don't want to prolong this unfortunate incident any longer.'

Raman turned as listened with shock and disgust as a few people began to mumble ' che flatoda price kammiayidumo.' And another couple ' what shit,couldnt she have died in a hospital or something for now we have to open our front door and face this ugly and scary incident everyday.'

Raman looked at govind and both hung their heads in sadness and utterly repulsed by this crude and cruel behaviour of so the so called high class residents.'

Sub inspector palanivel suddenly turned and informed both of them that the inspector had arrived and ran towards the higher officer and saluting him led him towards the flat.But the inspector spotting raman nearly ran towards him ' raman sir,what are you doing here sir? and both shook hands and raman with a warm smile ' good morning inspector vijay kumar,i have come to help my friend and fellow advocate mr.govind here for he was the one who was appearing for her in court.'

Govind shook hands with the Inspector who asked him to accompany him to the flat to identify the body of the deceased nirmala but he backed out in fear and in grief and so raman went along with the police team and identified the body of the still hanging Mrs.nirmal and who was now stiff in rigor mortis.

The head constable respectfully handed the three letters that had been written by the late mrs.nirmala and after quickly scanning them,inspector vijay asked the Sub inspector if he had called any of the numbers that had been listed in the letters and he replied that but for the advocate govind,there had been no response from either the husband or the two sons.

Inspector vijay looked at raman ' sir,how do you want to proceed with this ?'

Raman thought for a second and looking at the inspector ' the best thing to do as of now is place the body in a ice box and try to contact and get in touch with the sons or the ex-husband and if that does not work out then we will give her a proper burial according to her brahmin caste and i will handle everything.'

The inspector looked at the letter that the late mrs.nirmala had written and with a sad smile handed it to raman who took it and read it and in it were instructions as to how her body should be disposed.the late mrs.nirmala had requested govind to give her a simple Arya samaj funeral and she had very strongly requested that he do the final rites and did not want any of her family members to attend it for they had abandoned her while she lived and now she was abandoning them in death.'

Raman suddenly overcome with grief was a bit late to stop the tears from flowing and falling on the letter that he held and he quickly moved it sideways and turned away to hide his grief and nodding to the inspector and his team,made his way down the steps to the ground floor and finding govind explained the situation to him.

Govind who had been struggling to maintain composure and who had been trying his best to control his tears broke down seeing raman and hearing the last request of the late Nirmala and collapsed to the ground.

Kanagam the lady who delivered milk and flowers to all the flats in the area,sat next to govind ' iyya,this is all life is and this is all a woman's life is.Her importance and value diminishes once her breasts sag and once stretch marks appear like cobwebs on her stomach where she carried her husbands seed and her children.She is like the temple cow,valuable until milk flows from the udders and then discarded and probably sent to the beef market.Is there any difference between that cow and this cow?'

Gently wiping govind's tears ' she is lucky that she has some of us to cry for her in her final moments because there are so many who go as orphan bodies with no name and no one to cry as their bodies are burnt and as their souls rise lost and lonely forever.'

Govind looked sadly at kanagam who said ' Iyaa,raasa,i was just 17 when my drunken husband threw me out of the house with one child in my arms and another in my womb and although it was difficult i fought bravely and worked hard and made a life for myself.My two children are married and i have given them their shares but still kept a share for myself and even today i don't depend on anyone but myself and i will die like this,fighting with my last breath.Sadly,this poor lady lived in the shadows of her husband and her children and now at this old age she has no clue as what to do or how to make a life out of the remaining time she had left.Maybe,it was fort he best that she killed herself rather than suffer everyday thinking about her past.'

The words of Kanagam were like sharp arrows and each hit home with its meaning and proof and raman looked up sadly into the sky while his lips mumbled ' jeeva,i love you jeeva and i will live and die protecting you and i will do my best to never make you unhappy.'

The morning sun illuminated the earth below and then suddenly feeling sad and disgusted with the ways of humans hid itself behind a thick curtain of clouds and stayed there refusing to come out until the body had been removed.

Inspector vijay came up to raman and govind ' raman sir,i will see to it that a post mortem is avoided and that the body is handed over by afternoon and i will call up any cremation ground you desire and see to it that the cremation process is done smoothly and without any problems.'

Raman shook inspector vijay's hands with gratitude and accepted his offer and was told that the body was being taken to the govt general hospital opposite central railway station.

Paathaa Pasumaram Padukkavechchaa Nedumaram
Sethaa Veragukkaagumaa Njaanath Thangame
Theeyilittaa Kariyum Minjumaa Gnyaanath Thangame
Theeyilittaa Kariyum Minjumaa


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fu0546rs1g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZP4DkP2Dr8

Jannal oram 84

"All I'd ever wanted was to forget. but even when I thought I had, pieces had kept emerging, like bits of wood floating up to the surface that only hint at the shipwreck below. Sarah Dessen,


Raman and govind were just getting out of the car,when Jeeva called him and asked him how his day was going and Raman informed her briefly of what the situation was and apologized to her for he would not be able to meet her that day.

Jeeva told him it was okay and requested raman to convey her condolences and wishes to Govind and then in the same breath 'ram,do you want me to come and be with you' and raman ' you are always with me Jeeva,in my every breath,in my every thought.But thanks baby,i will manage and hopefully we will meet up tomorrow morning.Bye baby.'

Just as he ended the call,a head constable attached to the hospital came up to both him and govind ' sir,are you mr.raman? and raman nodded ' yes, i am.'

The constable told him that Inspector vijay kumar had called them and requested that the post mortem process be finished as fast as possible and that the body be handed over to them.

The constable slightly nervously ' sir,suicide case,so at least a casual check of the body has to be done for any signs of foul play other than a suicide.'

Raman looked at govind who nodded and raman turning to the head constable ' please do your duty and my humble request is just finish it as fast as possible.'

Just as the head constable was about to leave them,raman asked him to hold on and taking out his wallet,removed three 2,000 rs notes and gave it to the head constable who looked at raman ' sir,no sir.if this is known to inspector vijay,then i will be in real trouble.'

Raman grabbd his hand ' look boss,i am not going to tell anybody and i also know how things work here and everywhere.so please understand that this is not a bribe but a token of our appreciation.that's all.'

The head constable ' okay sir,if that is the case,then all okay sir.please wait sir and i will personally see that everything is done properly and quickly and will come and see when the body is ready to be handed over.'

Raman thanked him and then called a number and requested for a private mortuary van to come to the govt hospital to take the body for its final process.

Govind sat and watched in mute fascination as raman quietly went about arranging everything needed for the funeral and then made another call and this was to inspector vijay and requested him to arrange for a timing in the Mylapore cremation grounds for later in the evening between 4 and 5 p.m.

Thanking him,raman looked at govind ' dei,get up for we are going to go have a coffee.Or do you want me to go and get one for you.'

Govind shook his head and they made their way to a small canteen nearby and ordered two coffees and began to slowly sip the hot and heady freshly brewed filter coffee.

Govind looked at raman and raman ' what,why are you staring at me? speak up man.'

Govind looked away,looked at his coffee and then slowly dragged his eyes back to face raman ' i hope you are around when i kick the bucket for i will go in peace knowing that at least one true and honest soul was there to say goodbye to me and that he was my friend and hero.'

Raman was about to say something nasty and sarcastic but held himself and controlling his reply and rebuke,looked kindly at govind ' Bro,it is part of our nature and is the natural process to think and reflect about life in times of grief and sorrow.Honestly,it is only in times of great pain that life can be viewed in its proper colors and perspective.Happiness and love are all good but somehow cast an illusion,a veil that cannot be seen through.so,it is right and perfectly understandable how you are feeling and what you are going through.'

Govind ' raman,we have known each other for so many years now and you know what, you are still are the only person i can really talk to from my heart and soul.no bullshit and no matter what the problem is i am able to rely on you for clarity and for a shoulder to rest on.Thank you da for you are not only my friend but a blessing in disguise.'

Raman finished the coffee and crumpling the cup carefully threw it in the dustbin and looked at govind ' such royal praises just for doing my duty that i owe to you.Now,i wonder what or how you are going to react when i tell you some startling and interesting details that will solve both our cases of mr. and mrs ashok mehta.'

Govind angrily ' that woman is a bloody sadist.God help us that there are not many like her around.'

Raman throwing his arm around govind ' okay.i guess you are right and accept that pramila mehta is a bit too vicious for our liking.But here is a question for you and i want the only answer and the honest answer.remember i know you pretty well and so you know that you cannot bullshit me with a lie.'

Govind mustering his courage ' enna,what are you going to ask me? go ahead,i am not one to back away from a proper debate or challenge.'

Raman looked at govind ' how much does your wife love you? and govind ' a lot.we have a great marriage as marriages go and we respect each other and trust each other and there are no secrets between us.'

' okay govind.now just imagine that you had a drink or two or maybe more and that you find a woman who keeps flirting with you and losing control you have a quickie with her and it is over.Now,just imagine your wife finds out about it or sees some photos that somebody has clicked of your quickie.how do you suppose your wife will react to it and to you.'

The color drained from govind's face and shock and absolute fear filled his eyes and trembling he looked at raman ' dei,please don't even think in such ways for i cannot imagine how heart broken she will be and she will surely poison me or drop a rock on my head with a smile.'

Raman ' okay,correct and honest answer.now an even more brutal and uncomfortable question and that is what will your reaction be if you find out that your wife has been carrying on with someone behind your back.How will your react?'

Govind frozen,squeaked ' i will go mad.i will die and i would feel so miserable that i would probably go to the fifteenth floor of my building and jump to my death.'

Raman ' appo,what is wrong in mrs.pramila mehta's reaction when she saw the pics of her husband in bed with another woman.'

Govind looked at raman and slowly he realised that he had judged his client too harshly and that every person reacts in their own way to their own sorrows.

Raman with a smile,pinched govind's cheek in affection ' now for the creamy topping and information that is going to lift you out of your sadness.'

Raman carefully explained everything he and devarajan had discussed and laid out the sick plot of the couple Neera and krishnan and their modus operandi to prey on weak members who were happily married.


Flashback to chapter 67 posted on aug 19 page 138


Devarajan stood up and poured coffee into two cups and placed one near ram and then sat down and placing his cup to his right side,picked up a folder and slid it across the table to raman.

Raman looked at devarajan whose face did not reveal any emotion and gently placing the cup to his left,opened the folder and went through the many photos that were in it.Some were tight closeups,but most were long shots and in almost all of them,mrs.Pramila ashok was with another man and in some,they were in the car kissing passionately.

Raman looked at devarajan who smiled ' all those photos were taken in the time of your last visit and until yesterday' and raman's face brightened ' sir,i think this should do for me to negotiate a peaceful settlement between both of them.'

Devarajan held up his hand ' not so fast ram for there is another folder too' and slid another folder across the table and raman opened it and saw it contained photos of the mystery man who was obviously involved with Mrs.pramila ashok.But in the new folder,he was kissing many other women and the total came to five different women.

Raman looked at devarajan ' sir,who is this guy? a romeo,stud?' and devarajan ' look closely at all the women he is with ram,before jumping to conclusions.'

Raman nodding,went through all the photos slowly,scanning all the faces and looked up at devarajan ' sir,all the women appear to be older than this man in the photo.So,is he some kind of male gigolo,a male prostitute?'

Devarajan smiled and then slid another slim folder across the table and ramans eyebrows reached his hairline and he went ' wow! the man does get around' and opening the folder saw the same man with another beautiful woman who was more or less his age and both looked like they were close and seemed to know each other very well.And then he recognised the woman for she was the one with whom his client ashok was accused of having an affair with and he looked at devarajan with confusion.

' ram.that woman is his wife neera and the man is krishnan' and raman looking up sharply at devarajan ' is this woman neera also another conquest of our mysterious stud

Devarajan ' Nothing mysterious ram for they are a jodi,a team and this is their modus operandi.'

The minute devarajan said the words modus operandi,everything fell into place and raman's mind began to piece the puzzle together and he looked up at his master with en expression of sadness and anger.

Devarajan leaned forward and looked directly into raman's eyes ' Both neera and krishnan worked in your client ashok mehtas company and the woman,ashok is supposed to have slept with is this very neera,krishnans wife and who managed to take photos of ashok and his wife in bed and sadly ashok mehta was sloshed and not in control and was tempted into sex by neera who is his personal secretary.Neera quit her job and is now employed elsewhere but krishnan the bandicoot is still working in your clients company and yet at the same time making his moves on pramila ashok.'


Raman closed the folder and devarajan could see he was like a seething volcano ready to explode and then raman sadly as he remembered ashok mehta crying to him that he still loved his wife and wanted to save his marriage,looked at devarajan ' So,all this drama was just for money.This whole idea was orchestrated by this married couple for the sake of money.god,what is this world coming to.'

Devarajan ' ram,it is money and lots of it for your client ashok mehtas property is worth 100 to 120 crores and that is just a rough estimation.'

Raman sighed ' so,both ashok and pramila were played and made to dance like puppets on the whims of neera and her husband krishnan.

Devarajan nodded ' sad but true and just stop and think as to how many people have been duped and how many marriages have been wrecked by these two and other like them.

Raman's eyes twinkled ' okay,two can play the game' and devarajan nodded ' yes,my boy.It is payback time and you decide how you want to end this game neera and krishnan have started.'




When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors.
I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else.
I find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country of no return.
Disbelief becomes my close companion, and anger follows in its wake.
I answer the heroic question 'Death, where is thy sting? ' with ' it is here in my heart and mind and memories.'

When I Think Of Death - Maya Angelou

https://karkanirka.org/2017/09/23/kalithokai-37/

You are so righteous Rombha nalla vanda nee Kalithokai 37

HI everyone,

This article was written by my dear oldie but youngish pal rajan who is just a tender 75 years old.I am sharing this with you for it meant something to me and i hope it means something to you.


Live for 100 years!


by R.V.Rajan



'Live for 100 years' is a blessing commonly bestowed on youngsters by elders. The expression is also used by people whenever they receive an unexpected call or meet someone suddenly.


"You will live for hundred years- I was just thinking about you and you called.! Almost every other day, all my life, I have been getting such a response from some one or the other when I contact them on the phone; or visit them without appointment. It looks like I have telepathic ability which is constantly at work. While I used to be happy receiving such blessings when I was young, these days I resent it. I tell my well wishers not to curse me with long life but to wish me a healthy life as long as I live. I have a reason for a change in my attitude.


It is a known fact that because of advanced medical facilities enabling early diagnosis and treatment of diseases, the average life expectancy of people has gone up. From the obituary pages of newspapers you will notice that the average age of people dying of natural causes is over 80. And there are many who are over 90 years.

Many senior citizens today have begun to have a healthy second innings post retirement from a career job and are following their passions and live longer. However, it is impossible for them to stop the natural ageing process leading to old age related health issues. In spite of their efforts to keep themselves fit and busy with activities we find many old people are afflicted with dreaded ailments like Dementia, Alzheimer, Parkinsons, etc. Such diseases not only reduces them to a pitiable state but also imposes tremendous strain on the care givers in the family. I am a witness to many such instances of elders over 80 years among my close friends and relatives giving tough times to their family members. Such care givers, in spite of the love they have for the elders in the family, cannot but pray for the early exit of their dear ones. It is heart wrenching indeed.


The well to do in our society can afford to appoint full time professional caregivers or admit their elders into old age homes or hospices providing good care facilities at a cost. However, it's the middle class people staying in cramped apartments without the financial resources who suffer the most. Life becomes hell for such families.

I have always felt that those old people who die of sudden cardiac arrest or those who go to sleep but don't wake up in the morning are truly blessed people. One day they are alive and active and the next day they are gone without imposing any burden on their families.


During my active working days I used to Pray; 'God! Give me lots of problems and the courage to face them... make my life interesting'. These days I pray; ' God! Please take me with my shoes on... when I am still active and useful to society'. I don't want to be a burden on my family with protracted illness of any kind.

Will God listen to my prayers? Only He knows.



This article appeared in the Adyar Times Issue dated 10-16thSeptember,2017 under my column 'Rajans Random reflections'.