*From To Sathish* - Thread 3 - Page 112

Hi friends,

A few days ago,Gauri lankesh a well known and highly respected journalist was shot dead outside her house.

I am posting this article here for i want to share with you all the late gauri lankesh's ex-husbands thoughts about her and their life.

After,you have finished reading it,you will surely feel what i felt and realise why i shared it with all of you.




My friend and first love, Gauri Lankesh was the epitome of amazing grace


By Chidanand Rajghatta, excerpts from a tribute

If Gauri Lankesh read all the tributes and accolades for her, particularly those that refer to soul and afterlife and heaven, she'd have cracked a good laugh. Maybe not a laugh, but at least a chuckle. We had decided in our teens that heaven and hell and afterlife were a lot of b.s. There was enough heaven and hell on earth, and we should just leave god alone - he has enough on his hands - instead of begging him for favors.

But part of our compact was we would not be hurtful to others - including family -- even if we disagreed with their beliefs and practices. We didn't always succeed - ah, the impetuosity of youth! -- but it was a good principle that served us well later. Which is how even when we divorced 27 years ago, after five years of courtship and five years of marriage, we remained great friends. Part of the compact. Don't be hurtful. Even to each other.

We met at a school that was the birthplace of the Rationalist Movement of India - National College. Our principal, Dr H.Narasimaiah, and the Sri Lankan rationalist, Dr Abraham Kovoor, were pioneers of the movement, and right from our teens we took to the thrill of questioning and debunking a variety of godmen/godwomen, charlatans, frauds, superstitions etc.

More on this another time, but I'm putting this out here early to provide some context to Gauri's murder. Rationalists and agnostics are in the cross hairs of uber-religious bigots.

One of the first books we read together -- before getting into the weeds (I mean metaphorically) of religion, politics, and life itself -- was Will Durant's Story of Philosophy. Neither of us was proficient in our mother tongue Kannada (at that time), so we regretfully forsook our own bounteous literature for everything from Wodehouse to Graham Greene, devouring anything that Premier Book Shop's Mr Shanbhag could produce for us - at a matchless 20 per cent discount (others got 15 per cent). She returned to Kannada years later, but more on that soon.

Meanwhile, we "skinned our hearts and skinned our knees, learned of love the ABCs." Terry Jack's sappy, saccharine "Seasons in the Sun" had been released a few years earlier, and we hummed it between Dylan and Beatles. I'd return to Indian music years later; she was tone deaf. We read and laughed at Eric Segal's Love Story, saw the movies Abba, Saturday Night Fever, and Gandhi on our first dates, and went to the boonies on moonless nights to see billions and billions of stars and galaxies after reading and watching Carl Sagan.

Feisty wouldn't even begin to describe her. She hated the fact that I smoked in college. Years later, when I had given it up for a long time, she had begun to smoke. One time, she visited me in U.S (crazy innit? ex-wife visiting me? But we were better friends!) I insisted that she not smoke in the apartment because it was carpeted and the stink wouldn't go away. It was winter.


"What do you want me to do?"
"If you have to smoke at all, go to the rooftop and smoke."
"But it's cold and snowing!"
"Shrug"
"You tightass!...I started to smoke because of you!"
"Awww...sorry old girl. I'm asking you to stop now."
"Yeah, right. You've become too *&^%$#@ American!"
"American has nothing to do with it. Being healthy."
"Bollocks. I'll outlive you!"

Liar.

Many friends were bemused by our unbroken friendship. Separations and divorces are often messy, bitter, and spiteful in India, or anywhere for that matter. We had our volcanic moments, but we transcended that quickly, bound by higher ideals. On our day in court, as we stood next to each other, our hands reached out. Fingers interlaced. If you want to go your own ways, better disengage, the lawyer hissed.

After it was done and dusted ("by mutual consent"), we went out for lunch at the Taj down MG Road. The restaurant was called Southern Comfort. We laughed at the irony and said goodbye as I moved first to Delhi, them Mumbai, then Washington DC. She visited me in each place to argue about Life, the Universe, and Everything (we read Douglas Adams in school).

My parents loved her despite her rebellious nature, and remarkably for traditional, orthodox Indian parents, kept in touch with her - and she with them -- even after we split. One time, when I told her about a budding dalliance, she drew herself to her full height (all of five feet and HALF INCH - she never failed to emphasize the half inch) and said: "Ha! You can never take away the honor of being the first daughter-in-law of the family." When my mother passed away this past February, Gauri Lankesh was there, literally "live casting" for me the final rites as I flew home.

My ties with her family were as unusual. Through our separation and splitsville, I continued to meet her dad P.Lankesh, a writer, playwright, film-maker and an inspiration for a generation of rebel writers and journalists, and her sister Kavitha - "baby" to us-now a fine film-maker in her own right. Early in our college dalliance, after Lankesh's due diligence determined that I passed the literary litmus test, I became part of the family - including the extended family of writers, poets, artists, teachers, and what I'd kid as the "buddhijeevi" (intellectual) crowd.

Starting early 80s, we met every Sunday evening for a game of cards, where the stakes were modest but the conversation was rich. Poetry, proverbs, epigrams, aphorisms, bon mots in English and Kannada flowed ebulliently at the table. If someone slowed down the game, someone else would intone "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..." Another person: "...creeps at this petty pace from day to day." Third one: "...to the last syllable of recorded time!" It became bad form to speak in anything other than through literary allusions - in any language. A daring pick always invited "Vinashakaale Vipareetha Buddhi."

They were brilliant, effervescent men, and Gauri (who joined us occasionally and was the only woman at the table) and I marinated in their learning. Appa, as I called Lankesh, taught Eng.lit in Bangalore University, but had decamped to Kannada when we met, having just directed his first movie (I think it was either Anuroopa or Pallavi, and it won the national award). Like many great Kannada writers (Bendre, Kuvempu etc) he started out wanting to write in English before finding his metier in his roots. His play "Sankranti' was prescribed reading for undergrads, but we discussed everyone from Kalidasa to Ibsen, Chekhov, and Brecht.

All this continued through courtship, marriage, separation, and divorce, and even after I moved to U.S. Every time I went home, over a drink or two, pop-in-law and I, refereed by his daughter, would argue about politics, religion, literature, movies, U.S-India ties, farming distress, health, the world. Father and daughter would tease me about abandoning the good fight, while I'd insist that it was temporary, and a little time and distance is good for perspective. Lankesh had a low threshold for idiocy (there was a high turnover at the cards table in the initial years with those unable to handle his temperament scramming quickly) but his continued affection for me earned brownie points from Gauri. When he passed away in 2000, she truly became her father's daughter, taking over the newspaper he founded and continuing the good fight.

To this day, I unfailingly drop into to the Sunday cards table (long after Lankesh passed away, Doc Gowda, the writer-physician, is the current torchbearer). At every other visit or so, as the years took their toll of the older generation, I'd see someone missing at the table. "Yelli Sharma? (Where's Sharma?)" I'd ask, as they made place for me at the cards table, referring to the wonderful poet Ramachandra Sharma. "Oh! He's gone up to join Lankesh at another table," someone would respond, without batting an eyelid or breaking the game. "And Mysoremath is on his way to join them. He's in hospital."

I'm relating all this to give a sense of the intellectual atmosphere Gauri grew up in - practical, rational, and largely agnostic. Death was just incidental. Respect, affection, and admiration for the good people did and what they stood for was important. Her - our - favorite word and topic of conversation in recent years was "horaata" - a Kannada word roughly meaning a movement/agitation/revolution. "Haegide horaata?" I'd ask during our occasional phone calls. She'd launch into a litany of struggles she was in at the moment.

Gauri's presence at the cards table became rare as she threw herself into the fight against right-wing bigots, zealots, and extremists. We argued about that too at the cards table because some friends thought she had gone the other extreme. There was no doubt she was left of center, even extreme left of center. But heart was in the right place, and there was no place in her world for violence. Only cowards took to violence.

Some eight years back, after I had built a new home in Bangalore in the fond hope that I'd return to India some day, she determined that I needed a housekeeper to manage the place. "I am sending someone over," she declared over the phone. "She's a widow with two young daughters. Make sure you take care of them and put them through school." It was an order. I complied.

Ramakka, her gift to us, is still with us; her daughters Asha and Usha both finished from school, earned degrees, and now work - Asha in Syndicate Bank and Usha at an NGO. There are hundreds of Ashas and Ushas because of Gauri Lankesh.


Just a few weeks ago, when Mary, the kids and I were in India, Gauri called to announce she was coming over. She always came to see the kids, bearing gifts, none more precious than the love and warmth she brought with her. Days passed, and she did not turn up. Busy, busy, busy, she said...you know how hard it is handling the paper and fighting the chaddis (she called the right wing nutters "chaddis").


One day, she called to announce that she's coming with her son. "Who have you adopted now?" I asked. "Kanhaiya Kumar," she chuckled. "You mean the JNU bloke?" "Yes, you'll love meeting him." Little later she called to say his flight was late and she can't make it. That was the last time I heard her voice. Bubbly and bursting with energy and passion for causes big and small.




As my plane now wings towards India to a place without Gauri, my mind is a cauldron of fragmented memories. One phrase keeps repeating and resonating in my mind: Amazing Grace. Forget all other labels: leftist, radical, anti-Hindutva, secular etc. For me, there is just this: She is the epitome of Amazing Grace.


http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/bengaluru/my-friend-and-first-love-gauri-lankesh-was-the-epitome-of-amazing-grace/articleshow/60401693.cms

Jannal oram 74

We won't always know whose lives we touched and made better for our having cared, because actions can sometimes have unforeseen ramifications. What's important is that you do care and you act.Charlotte Lunsford

Earlier in the evening,Jeeva had reached home by 6.15 p.m and had found both Mani and kamakshi her parents,sitting before the idiot box sipping coffee and that was a given for that is what they did from 5.30 to 7.00 p.m.But apart from sipping coffee,they would also both discuss what dinner was going to be and by that time jeeva would have returned from work and all three would sit at the table,chatting,discussing and cutting vegetables.

But,today,even as she entered the door,the aroma of her mum's onion bajji's filled the air and throwing her handbag on to the dining table,she swiftly ran towards them and plonked herself between both of them.

She gently smacked a kiss on her dad and then gave a mighty hug to her mum and Kamakshi yelled ' donkey,i am not as strong as you.so don't hug me so tightly like they do in those wrestling matches.'

Jeeva picked up a onion bajji and placing it near her nose,inhaled and looked at her mum ' kamakshi,forget everything else,but at least for the sake of the awesome bajjis you make, mani should have given you dowry.'

Kamakshi making a face,sarcastically ' dowry,jeeva,your dad promised me a set of diamond ear rings the minute you were born and after all these years,he has yet to make good on the promise.So,please don't talk about dowry and other impossible things.'

Manigandan put down the coffee and jeeva grabbed it and took a sip and kamakshi ' dee,let him have that.I will make a fresh cup of coffee for you.'

Mani nudged jeeva with his right elbow ' ammadi,chellam,can you ask your mother as to what happened to the gold chain,bracelet and the two rings that her parents forced me to wear' and jeeva looking at kamakshi ' ammadi,thaikulame,your husband just asked you a question and both of us are waiting for an answer.'

Kamakshi hurriedly got up ' i will go get that coffee for you.' But jeeva grabbed her and made her mum sit on her lap ' Nee firstu,questionukku answer pannitu po.'

Kamakshi's face made al kinds of expressions and both her husband and daughter knew that this happened only when she was feeling guilty and when she tried to escape from a difficult question.'

Mani feeling sorry for his wife ' jeeva,i will tell you.The lady who just complained about broken promises about diamonds and ear rings,took all that gold chain,bracelet and rings that were gifted to me and made a set of bangles for herself and now she sits here and accuses me of breaking promises.'

Jeeva acting as if she was shocked,hugged her mum ' adi paavi.You are much worse than a politician' and then ' don't worry both of you for i will buy you all that for my wedding.'

Kamakshi got up to make a cup of coffee for jeeva and also fry some more bajjis,when jeeva announced that she had invited Raman home for dinner and that he was bringing along a couple of his friends too.

Both mani and kamakshi's face's reflected their joy the minute their daughter mentioned the name raman and they looked at each other and jeeva reading their thoughts ' Exactly,that is what raman felt when i asked him over for dinner.But he said that he would not be able to make it tonight for he has some unexpected but very important visitors to meet.But i said it is okay and to bring them along with him and they will be here by 8.15 or 8.30 pm.'

Jeeva casually looking at her watch and then at her mother ' so,madam,that gives us two hours to think,plan and prepare something simple and tasty for the guests tonight.What do you think oldies?'

Kamakshi's head was buzzing with vegetables that was in the house and what menu to whip up with them and then she looked at mani and jeeva ' vetgetable mixed rice,poondu rasam,raita and oru brinjal curry.What do you guys think?'

Jeeva and mani both looked at her ' wow! awesome.' and jeeva getting up ' i will have a quick shower and then while having my coffee,i will help you cut the vegetables.ok' and hurried to her bedroom,leaving kamakshi and mani happy that they were going to see their future son-in-law again.

Mani looking at kamakshi ' sweetheart, i will start with the onions as usual and which is the only way in which i help you with the cooking' and kamakshi gently brushing her lips against his ' it is why i love you so much.Because,you don't want to see tears in my eyes even when i am cutting vegetables.That is the first thing you told me when we began our married life and i will never forget that,never.'

Then,remembering something ' listen,after you finish with your coffee and bajjis,just go near the gate and pluck a few twigs of fresh curry leaves for the brinjal curry and rasam.I will go see about the dinner now.'

Mani remembered this order placed by his wife for fresh curry leaves from the tree that grew near their gate and cursing his failing memory,slowly got to his arthritis ridden knees and hips and like a child walked towards the front of the house and just as he was picking the curry leaves,he caught a glimpse of a couple nearly his age who were standing in front of his house and trying to make sure if it was the right place.

Curry leaves in one hand and gripping the gate with the other,Mani slowly came out to the road and with a smile asked the couple ' hello,can i help you for you seem to be having difficulty in locating an address.'

The couple both looked at each other and strangely exchanged smiles and then the lady ' is this jeeva's house?' and mani nodded ' yes,this is jeeva's house.Please come in while i inform her that she has visitors.'

Holding the curry leaves in his right hand,mani reached to the gate with his left hand to support himself and misjudged and nearly slipped and fell,but the man moved quickly and held him and got him to his feet and mani
' thank you sir,thank you very much' and looking at them with a sad smile ' getting old is not the problem but falling sick and suffering with old age related ailments is the biggest problem.'

Slowly mani made his way and then raising his voice gently ' jeeva,jeeva.There is a couple here who have come to see you' and then turning to the couple ' please come and sit down.Would you like some coffee and some hot bajji's.My wife is an excellent cook and the aroma of her bajji's flies all around saidapet and everyone seems to be aware of it for they mention it the next morning' and saying that began to smile and the old couple too joined him.

Jeeva came out and before even recognising the visitors,gave a stern look at her dad ' mr.manigandan,i have told you a million times not to step out after it goes dark for there is a chance that you might fall and injure yourself.What will happen if you should break your leg or hip?' and then turning to the visitors ' vanakkam,i am jeeva,Neenga?

Just then raman came running into the house through the gate and Shaktivel folding his hands ' vanakkam,i am shaktivel and this is my wife Valliammai and this is our only son,raman'

Mani and Jeeva were frozen for a second and then kamakshi came out ' yaaru jeeva,visitors for you at this hour.Officele iruntha.'

Jeeva with a bright smile and with a naughty twinkle in her eyes ' sir,vanakkam.I am jeeva and these are my children mani and kamakshi.Please come in.'

Both Mani and kamskshi nearly died in fear and embarrassment and then watched in silence as valliamma took jeeva's hands and kissing them tenderly,took out the gold chain that lay around her neck and placed it around jeeva's neck.

"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.

Jannal oram 75


A marriage is not just a tie between two people who love each other. It also marks the advent of another new relationship the one you have with your in-laws. It is often said that once you get married you are also marrying your partner's family. This may be truer for some than for others but interacting with your spouse's family and developing some sort of a relationship with them is inevitable.

In-laws may be considered a group of people who act as the bane of many marriages. While this is not an accurate definition from a dictionary, the sentiment surely resonates for a large number of married folk. Divorce lawyers around the world have performed the last rites on countless marriages due to interference from in-laws.

Some use humor to cope and while jokes, mostly aimed at mothers-in-laws, may provide some comic relief, they do downplay the seriousness of the role of in-laws in the breakdown of relationships. In-law interference can be extremely damaging to a couple and if not dealt with in a correct manner, it can lead to families being torn apart.

Your in-laws are a group of people who have a unique personal and intimate relationship with your spouse which existed long before your involvement with him or her. However, some men and women find it very difficult to leave the influence of their own families, especially their mothers, and this may create some tension in the marriage. It is not uncommon for a son to be tied to his mother's apron strings long after marriage which can easily become a source of nuisance for his wife.



IN-LAWS or OUT LAWS


Sangamam,yes it is like the meeting of two mighty rivers or two mighty seas and both push and pull and eventually mix and settle into an uneasy but working mixture of existence.

If these worries were present in the minds of all the six adults present there in the house of Jeeva,then none exhibited it and probably hid it well.But,if none did exhibit it,then it was simply because all of them were secure,happy and independent people and all had their minds and opinions and above all,they knew what was right,what was wrong and what the highest priority of the moment and that was the wedding of jeeva and raman.

Jeeva and her parents welcome raman and his parents into their house and soon they all settled around the hall and waited for the other to begin or start the conversation and it did not surprise either raman or her own parents when jeeva excitedly ' sir,you have a great voice and your tamil is simply out of this world.I have never heard anybody speak that good tamil for a long,long time but for nadigar thilagam shivaji ganesan.'

Shaktivel's face revealed openly that he was not comfortable with flattery for it was obvious that he was a rather quiet and bordering on an introvert and with a shy smile ' thank you.But all the credit and compliments should be directed to my late parents and my tamil teacher in school,Mrs.Parvati sundaresan' and Valliamma excitedly ' he also speaks excellent english and french.'

Raman's expression conveyed of "OMG" took a few seconds to sink into jeeva's normal human thinking and it turned into realisation as she now understood raman's expression which hinted as to his parents wondering what she was doing that afternoon in the chambers with their son and more importantly listening to a father and son's conversation.

But,if these thoughts did run in both of raman's parents minds,they did an excellent job of not showing it or reacting to it and slowly the conversation began with valliamma looking at jeeva ' you are such a nice person and we are glad he has finally decided to settle down.'

Kamakshi's eyes brimmed with tears and she looked at mani and both understood the respect and the courtesy shown by raman's mother in her carefully and thoughtfully chosen words,wherein she had described their daughter as a lovely person rather than saying that she was beautiful or good looking and Mani looking at shaktivel and valliamma ' jeeva is truly a lovely person but your son raman is very special and we love him as much as we love jeeva' and kamakshi looking at jeeva ' raman is special and more special than jeeva and i mean it.'

If raman,mani and kamakshi expeected jeeva to show a little bit of anger or jealousy,then they were disappointed for jeeva pulling up a chair and sitting closer to raman's parents and looking at both of them ' my parents are right for even i think,raman is perfect.so perfect that i sometimes wonder if he is really a human being at all.'

Throwing a naughty look at raman's parents,jeeva asked them ' okay,please tell me who raman takes after,father or mother?' and shaktivel calmly ' neither,for in our eyes,our son is not just our child but an angel and i think he takes after the very god that blessed us by gifting him to us.'

Raman groaned ' aiyo,enna koduma saravana.appa,amma shall we eat for i am really hungry and i have a hard and full days of work tomorrow.So,please lets start attacking the food for otherwise this person who you think of will turn into a monster.'

Raman's mum,valliamma laughing ' food and sleep are the only things that raman cannor manage properly and will climb the walls in frustration and make others go mad with his antics' and shaktivel adding to it ' but that was only during his schooldays when he was with us for after that he came of to chennai and lived in a hostel and later shared a flat with his colleagues govind,shekar and a few others.'

Then suddenly,the conversation took a serious turn when valliamma looked at mani and kamakshi ' have both of you thought about the wedding and when it can be held? and both of them looked at jeeva who in turn looked at raman,who calmly said ' amma,there is still time for all that and we will come to that discussion some other time.'

Shaktivel looking at raman ' Iyaa,you are getting older and we are not getting any younger and so maybe we should use this opportunity to maybe touch on the topic of wedding when we are all here and more importantly both of you are here too.'

Raman's parents had just met jeeva but raman was well versed and could read every reaction,movement that her face and body made and waited for her to say something but her dad mani spoke instead ' correct sir,it is time that both of them set a date or at least discuss the possibility of a date in the near future.'

Jeeva's face saddened and she looked sideways with the corner of her right eye at raman who smiled and softly addressed everybody ' Please forgive us both but we need time,a little more time to talk about this and so i request that we postpone this topic for some othertime.I am sorry but this is our lives and so it should also be our decision to make.I hope that all four you can understand this.'

Valliamma looked at raman but shaktivel gently shook his head and he looked at raman and jeeva ' thambi solrathu correct.This is a decision about your lives and your future and so it rightfully it should be yours to make.'

Then looking at mani and kamakshi ' that decided,shall we eat for like my son said,i am also feeling very hungry and it is more due to all the fantastic smells coming from the kitchen'

The slightly uneasy mood broken,kamakshi got up and looking at shaktivel and valliamma ' give me two minutes and i will set the table and we can eat.'

Amidst this,jeeva looked at raman and silently mouthed ' thank you ' and raman mouthed ' I love you baby' and both stared and smiled and fell in love all over again and unknown to them both their parents saw their children exchanging looks and smiles and shyly exchanged their own smiles.

Jannal oram 76

"If you promise to love, trust, respect, support and stand by someone no matter what, do not just speak those words when times are good. Live those words when challenges arise. The stronger the love and commitment, the more unbreakable the bond. United hearts will never be easily divided. Carlos Wallace

Life is a strange voyage and we are all strangers to each other no matter what we say or do.Each and every one of us who can think,act on the thought and do it differently although in a subtle fashion.Sometimes,we want what we want simply because it gives us happiness,peace and a sense of fulfillment.


It was nearly 11.00 pm when raman and his parents said their goodbyes,good nights and began the walk back to their house.

Mani looked at his daughter and hesitated for a few moments and jeeva seeing him knew what was going on and grabbing her mother,kamakshi's hand brought her with her and all three sat down in the small hall which had been overflowing just a few minutes ago.

Jeeva looked at her dad ' Mr.manigandan,my sweetheart.This is your daughter jeeva,your eldest one,first born and surely there must be a reason why i came first before suja.But that aside,you know how much i love you,so spill out whatever that is causing you so much discomfort.'

Mani began to sob and jeeva sat for a moment and then gently held him in her arms ' appa, i really meant it when i introduced you both as my children and even though it sounded funny and a wee bit naughty,it came from my heart.so,now that we are alone,just the three of us here.I guess you can say what it is you are finding so difficult to say.'

Kamakshi got up and sat on the other side of her husband and tenderly wiped his eyes with the edge of her saree and looking at her daughter ' jeeva,your dad wants to know why the delay in fixing a day for your wedding and why raman too is echoing your thoughts.'

Jeeva with pride ' raman is my soul amma.obviously he will echo and also reflect my thoughts.we both might not share the beautiful love that you both have but at least we can strive to achieve at least a bit of what you have lived and loved.'

Mani looking up at jeeva,shook his head ' no,no,it is just not what your mother just said.It is much more than that and that is what scares me and apart from that i feel i am the one who is responsible for all this misery that you are going through.'

Jeeva totally confused 'what? what are you going on? what misery am i going through when i am in love with the perfect man? Mani,can you please be more clearer and specific in what your fears are?'

Kamakshi looked at jeeva ' adhu vanthu' and jeeva glared at her mother ' amma,please,we are all adults and dad has a mouth and i want to hear him say what he feels,for i am your daughter not some stranger an all of us have a right to say what they feel without any inhibitions.that is the way you brought me and suja up and that is the way we all live our lives.isn't it.so let appa speak.'

Mani wiping his eyes,looked at his eldest daughter ' baby,you know and feel every beat and thought that goes on both our minds and you are our child.So,don't you realise that we too feel every emotion and thought that goes on in your life.'

Turning to his wife kamakshi,who smiled lovingly at him,mani turned and face jeeva boldly ' ammadi,you might not know this but both of us knew when you were in love the first time and both of us stood by quietly and helplessly when your heart was broken.'

Jeeva's face reflected the shock,pain and realisation that her soul felt and they came and went in waves one after another and then she looked away trying desperately to compose herself and mani seeing the tears flowing down her cheeks,gently turned her face and it was now jeeva who laid her head and cried on her dads bosom and sobbing and with a choking voice,she mumbled ' all that is such old and stale news appa.why is that or how is it relevant now at this point after so many years.'

Mani lifted his child's face and looking into her eyes ' because i am not as strong as you think i am.you and your mother are much stronger than me.i don't think my heart will bear the pain should the same misfortune fall on your life again.I don't know the reason why you want to delay the wedding although i suspect it must be because of Suja and her love interest.'

Jeeva wiping her tears,looked at both of her parents ' Raman is not bharat who broke my heart and broke my will to live,love and laugh.Raman is eternal and even if i waver,he is the rock that will stand by me,like you have done all these years.'

Taking deep breaths,jeeva continued ' But yes,the answer is suja and her future.If her future,career and life is secured,then me and raman will think about our lives and not before that.'

Jeeva gently kissed her dad on his cheek ' mani,i have waited all these years and i can afford to wait a little while longer.so,i want to see this through and only then,after all that is over will i decide about my life.'


All three,father,mother and daughter sat calmly and all their thoughts were about raman and his father and mother.

"In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art. Jalaluddin Rumi


Love is an eternal motion of the soul
does the light of the sun shine down
or does the earth rise up to meet it
do the waves keep flowing to the shore
or does the earth,the shore spin towards the sea
does the rain fall on land
or does the land cry out in pain
and is the rain the reflection of that cry
and so it cries tears of pouring rain
is darkness an absence of light
or is light an absence of dark
is poetry just a game of words
or a play of thoughts
or a rearrangement like scrabble
ok,i will stop my babble

Maybe,the reason why i write such loving,dramatic,tender and soft scenes is because i never had the opportunity to love or be loved like that by my parents.And so,whatever love,tears,fears i have locked in my soul,i let loose them through my characters.


Siiighhh,i wish this beautiful planet had more love than what exists today.

Half the time i am in a daze after reading the newspaper and learning about rapes,false prophets,politicians fighting over dead legacies and corrupt govt officials.

Sometimes,i get confused and scared at the amount and level of greed and selfishness of people and i want to scream into their souls the eternal message

Ashes to ashes
dust to dust
we came naked with nothing
and we will go naked with nothing
and everything will be left behind
your sins,your wealth
your joy,your tears
everything
and yet these people,these,what should i call them,these strangers fill their chests with corrupt wealth and money and amass vast real estate properties.For what,really for what,when if you are buried,it is six by six and if your are cremated,adhu kooda illiye.Appuram ethukuda,ivallavu aasaigal.

A sunday wedding


September 3rd arose like any sunday and i fled Besant nagar to walk in peace in the more spacious marina beach area.But that sunday was a special one for my very close beach friend,Subburayan maama's grand daughter was getting married and the wedding was at Shri krishnaswamy kalyana mandapam,south boag road,T.nagar.

The word grand daughter might raise your eye brows when read and yes for subburayan maama is 90 years old and his pethi is going on 25 i think.

Subburayan maama and me hooked up when he i was in the highs of playing the lead role in Vijay tv's Maharani serial between 2009 and 2011 and as was the norm those days,many came up to me and spoke about the still fresh performances of mine in Aanandham and Arasi and the then current Maharani tv serial( though it,i mean the recognition has vastly diminished off late for it has been nearly 5 years since i turned my back on the small screen) and i grudgingly admit that i do miss the lime light and the instant recognition.

Anyway coming back to subburayan,he one day stopped me and complimented me and the other cast members of the serial and requested me to convey his regards and blessings to them.Just for information's sake,the tv serial Maharani was shot entirely in Trivandrum and i flew in and flew back the entire time of the project.


Soon,subburayan maama became my dear friend among the other maama's who already were and i guess now i too am a maama,in the more conventional sense than the derogatory way cops are called in our tamil state.

The oldies,maama's were split into two significant groups of which the main body i chellama call lok sabha can be found on the other side of the road,closer to the church and the smaller,my usual haunt and regular place is called Rajya sabha and i was the nomad,the accepted floater among both the groups.And yes,there were regular interactions,interjections and many interruptions among these large bodies of old bodies and i confess that i have always been very curious about life and odl age and how each and everyone arrives at that point,yes that point being,letting go and being at peace with the world.

Sadly,i have yet to find any answers from either of these groups and have largely found that being cheerful,being happy even though it is only Maya,an illusion does work sometimes.

Subburayan maama,is a force of nature and his singing instead of greeting is at once very charming and rather sweet.As is my norm,and as is my firm belief that a hug,a real gentle hug is an act of love and a transfer of pure energy,i always greet him with a gentle hug and then he breaks into some carnatic raga and i stand among others as they gather and greet him,wish him and carry on with their walks and lives.

But,most of my interactions with Mr.subburayan is at the Ratnagireeshwarar temple and we meet either when i am entering or when i am about to leave and either way,i wait for him to finish up and then i walk with him,rather slowly and enter his abode of more lovely souls like him.

I have been interacting with his son,grand children and his daughter-in-law for quite some years now and have known the grand daughter from the time she began to go to college and so here i was on september 3rd at the wedding hall.

I as a rule,don't wear pants and shirts and never ever attend the reception of a wedding and prefer to go in my kurta and pyjama to the morning wedding and give my blessings.


The wedding hall was over flowing with people and was being conducted in grand manner and the priest pompously was explaining every inch of the ritual that he was the MC of and the large samsung LED screens were really helpful in seeing everything that went on.

Pushing aside my rather shy and cowardly nature in large,unknown crowds,i took a deep breath and entered the wedding hall and step by step made it to the front,all the while hoping desperately that i would be recognised even though a five day old stubble covered,sparsely my pale face and thankfully,subburayan's eldest son grabbed me and dragged me to his dad and who,true to his nature jumped up from his seat and we stood staring at each other and then gently i hugged him and funnily he turned to everybody and announced " My friend,my beach friend and he was very famous,you know" and well the blush on my cheeks were worse then a woman can ever muster and i sat next to him for a few minutes and then mumbling something or some excuses,i retreated to my pavilion,vantage position and sat in solitude.Not for long for people came up to collect my face as some trophy through their selfies and as is the trend pestered me with the usual ten or more questions about my career or the lack of it.

I grinned( please read a hideous snarl,smirk that a hyena would have been proud of) my answers rather kindly and graciously and kept sitting and kept getting up and well the morning wore on.

But,in the end,i stood,waited,climbed the stage and showered blessings to subburayan's pethi and posed again and again and in the end it was all worth it.

Jannal oram 77

There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it. - Dale Carnegie

Raman as he was walked without a weight on his soul or conscience but yet his heart skipped a couple of beats when his thoughts filled itself with what his parents had felt in jeeva's house and what they were feeling right now.Being Raman's parents,shaktivel and valliamma both to their credit held their thoughts and opinions to themselves and kept quiet even when raman locked the gate and opened the doors to his house and all of them entered into it.

Raman looked at both of them ' i am taking the sofa and both of you can sleep in the bedroom.' This was a given and understood because this was the arrangement whenever raman's parents came to visit him or came to chennai on some work.

Since raman was an early riser and since he left to work by 8.00 am,he slept on the couch for then he could use the only bathroom that was available in the house and also move around the house without waking his folk while they slumbered.

Raman went in to his room and picked up a fresh pair of clothes for the next day and then opening the cupboard took out a pillow and a quilt and came out to the hall and saw that both of his parents were sitting calmly like two buddha's and realised that the night would not end without talking to them.

Raman sat near his dad in one of the single sofa piece that made up the three piece set and looked at his mum who sat facing him on the other single piece and raman smiling ' dad,it appears as if me and mum are like contesting advocates while you look the judge sitting in between.'

Shaktivel smiled ' Ramu,i am very happy that you have met someone like Jeeva and the most incredible part is that both her parents are such gems.Truly,a great family and i feel privileged to have met them.And the food was simply awesome.'

If Valliamma felt any,even a tiny bit of jealousy,it did not show on her face and she too acknowledged her husbands thoughts ' ramu,your dads words although true just don't do justice as to how rare a miracle jeeva's family are.Such grace,such love and so much dignity that i was simply overwhelmed by all of them.'

Hearing his mother's voice choke a bit,Raman worriedly ' amma,what is it? why this sadness?'

Valliammai looked at both the men in her life ' i did not feel any jealousy when your dad complimented kamakshi's cooking.But i felt very jealous when i saw how well jeeva and her parents get along and how well they speak and communicate with each other.'

Shaktivel with an hint of irritation looked at his son ' thambi,don't listen to your mother for sometimes she can ramble on ' but raman got up and came and sat on the ground near his mothers sofa ' amma,i agree that jeeva and her parents are special and that are a very close knit family.But,that is them and we all cannot be like them.Moreover,we communicate even without having to say the words and we three are aware of each others thoughts.We too are beautiful,a great family but probably with different shades of the same.That's it and we are no way any less of a family than jeeva's.so please,stop comparing yourself with them.'

Shaktivel looked at raman ' iyaa, i am not as educated as you and we all know very well that you are far more intelligent and wiser than both of us.Yet,i felt that maybe the reason for not setting a date or at least a tentative timeline for the wedding is not because of you but because of jeeva.I mention jeeva specifically because,otherwise her dad mr.mani would not have also joined the discussion of setting a wedding date.'

Looking directly into his only son's eyes,shaktivel asked raman ' it the reason something which you can talk about and discuss with us or is it something personal that cannot be shared.'

Raman shaking his head and very causally ' dad,there is nothing personal when it comes to you both.I have nothing to hide and our love is an open book and let me also a little bit of info add so that no further questions about it hopefully will not be raised.'

Looking at both of them ' our love is clean,conservative and very orthodox and no lines have been crossed and will not be crossed until our wedding.'

Valliammai gently ruffling raman's thick wavy hair ' mister,please,idhu konjam too mucha ille.'

Raman understanding her thoughts ' okay,we have kissed many times and that is it,podhuma.Idhu kooda naan pannalenna,she will think i am weird.'

Shaktivel with pride ' valli,you heard my son's words.That is raman and there is no one like him.'

Valliamma whispered something in her sons ears and raman with a "OMG" expression looked at his dad ' appa,what is this mum is telling me? is it true.god.no wonder i am like this.'

Shaktivel nervously ' yei,valliamma,what did you tell my son?' and valliamma with a bit of anger in her sweet voice ' what do you mean my son and you keep repeating the same words,my son,my son.he is my son too and i told him the truth about our first night.'

Raman tapping his dad's knee ' dad,is it true that your fist night took place only a few weeks after your wedding.'

Shaktivel cringing and blushing ' ramu,it was a different generation and yet i only had your mums best interest in my heart and so we delayed it until she was comfortable with me and her new life in a new house.'

Raman looked at his mum ' amma,you are lucky to be married to such a gentleman and now i know why i am the way i am supposed to be and that is because of my hero here.'

Valliamma acting as if she was very hurt ' che,appavum payanum onnu sernthuteenga.naa paavam' and then hurriedly grabbing raman's shoulder ' ram,please can you ask jeeva to get some good recipes from her mother.Summa sollakoodathu,that bajjis although cold was so tasty and it was just like how my mother used to make.'

Shaktivel very seriously ' valli,you are a great cook too and it is a great feat what you have managed or rather me and my son have managed and that is having survived eating your food over the past three decades and have still managed to do well in our lives.'

Valliamma heard her husbands words and it took a few seconds for her to realise how sarcastically he had teased her and now her eyes filled with real tears and both men got up and threw their hands to comfort her and yet raman mumbled ' amma,you remember that one time when you tried to make mysore pak and it came out as some yellow brick and was so hard that dad chipped his tooth trying to chew on it' and both he and his dad started roaring in loud laughter and the house echoed the three simple and innocent souls love and lives.

Redemption 209


The known number of satellites that India has launched by itself and with the help of other nations comes to nearly a 100.India has been successfully launching satellites of many types since 1975. These satellites have been launched from various vehicles, including American, Russian and European rockets as well as Indian rockets. The organisation responsible for India's space program is ISRO, and it shoulders the bulk of the responsibility of designing, building, launching and operating these satellites.

Aryabhata was India's first satellite, named after an Indian astronomer of the same name launched by India on 19 April 1975 from Kapustin Yar, a Russian rocket launch and development site in Astrakhan Oblast using a Kosmos-3M launch vehicle. It was built by the Indian Space Research Organisation (ISRO) to gain experience in building and operating a satellite in space. The launch came from an agreement between India and the Soviet Union directed by UR Rao and signed in 1972. It allowed the USSR to use Indian ports for tracking ships and launching vessels in return for launching Indian satellites.

Rudran,was the top most active Chakravyuh member and this status meant that he had access to all kinds of Information on Terra firma and also in air and over water at his fingertips.All he needed was a laptop and a secure encrypted internet connection and in seconds,Rudran as well as all the other members within the chakravyuh group could see,read and know what is happening all over india and to a certain extent around our neighbouring countries.

Rudran did not have the time to arrange for a drone survey and with the sun still bright and high in the sky,a drone would have been spotted and the enemies would have been alerted.So,Rudran stopped his vehicle and opening his laptop quickly went into a highly protected and encrypted website and entering his login id,quickly entered his password which only took him to a voice and face scan and then it asked him for his fingerprint and rudran quickly attached the flash drive with its thumb print facility and a voice whispered " welcome rudran to Suryadev" and rudran smiled and thought what a corny name and why did they have to have a male voice when a nice soft female voice would have at least reduced the tension.

" Suryadev" although sounding funny was the secret part of the GSAT-19.The GSAT-19, as per the Indian Space Research Organisation is a multi-beam satellite that carries Ka and Ku band forward and return link transponders and geostationary radiation spectrometer (GRASP) to monitor and study the nature of charged particles and the influence of space radiation on satellites and their electronic components.

The satellite, which has a life span of 10 years, also features certain advanced spacecraft technologies including miniaturised heat pipe, a fibre optic gyro, micro electro-mechanical systems (MEMS) accelerometer, Ku-band TTC transponder, as well an indigenous lithium-ion battery.

It has to be noted by the readers,that GSAT-19 was the heaviest payload to date and weighing at 3,136 kgs,it required India's brand new and heaviest rocket - the Geosynchronous Satellite Launch Vehicle-Mark III (GSLV-Mk III) to blast off from the Sriharikota spaceport on june 5th,2017.

Forget all the technical aspects of the rocket that launched the heaviest satellite and just focus on " suryadev" for like its name denoting the sun,it too looked down all over india,every moment of every day without blinking.And all one had to do was ask it for help,the proper way and it would deliver results instantly with its many eyes that saw in light,in night and also in infra red.

Rudran called Major.Param,who gave him the location as Shikarpur,Uttar pradesh and then ' Rudy that is nearly 100 kms and then you have to go out into the rural area of Shikarpur and it will take you nearly 2 hours or more to reach your destination.Have you really given it a thought for you are going all alone and without any backup and you have yet to tell me your plan.'

Rudran thought for a second ' Param,Do i need additional support to take out this creep and the other creeps who might be thinking they are protecting him.No,i don't think so.Two to three hours is okay with me for i will reach there by late evening,eat something,take a small nap and then go in and finish the job and i will be back by late night and back to chennai bright and early for my wedding.'

Major.param sighed 'damn it,your wedding is tomorrow and i forgot all about it.Rudy,maybe this has to wait.It has waited all this time and maybe it can wait for a week or more.Please,hold on while i talk to the boss.'

Rudran chuckled ' the biggest boss himself has given me the the green light to go ahead and get this done and no param,it cannot wait any longer and i am going to see this through and finish it tonight.

Now,i want you to tell me what weapons i have on board in this vehicle' and param tapping some buttons ' rudy,in the glove box,there is a secret compartment and you will find a handgun with four cartridges and the weapon is your personal favourite,Heckler & Koch,HK VP9.Each cartridge has 15 rounds and that means 60 bullets and i doubt if you will need so many.There are three bullet proof vests along with 5 grenades and a rocket launcher that can be used to launch the grenades too.A night vision goggle that can read infrared too.'

Rudran ' i won't need more than one bullet for each scoundrel ,but i cannot shoot like me with my skills for i have to stage the place as if it was some rivalry or a robbery gone bad.So,i will need the 60 bullets for i will have to shoot all over the place and make it look like some amateur night.'

Major.param worriedly ' but the crime scene detectives will know it was one man for all the bullets will be traced back to one handgun.so they will know it was one lone wolf and for one man to kill so many,then he must be highly trained and it will point right at the govt.'

Rudran with slight irritation and as if he was talking to a five year old ' param,think,really think.You think the guns i will find in that bas***d's resort will be all licenced and legal.'

Major.param embarassed ' right,sorry.so,obviously,you are going to use their guns to also shoot up the place and stage the crime as you want it and then carry away the guns you used.'

Rudran hesitating ' they might eventually work out vaguely what might have happened but then it will be too late.well,i have to go now for i have logged into " suryadev " and i will see what info i can gather now and then i will do the same again in the night before i enter the premises.'

Major param hesitated for a second ' Rudran,i am going to hang back in the headquarters and am also going to be your eyes and ears while you go hunting,if that is okay with you mister bond.'

Rudran ' Bond,yup.The new guy daniel craig is okay and you can believe him when he is beating up enemies for the others were too soft and slow for my liking.But i got to go now and i will call back once i reach shikarpur.'

Major param with a smile in his voice ' the place you are going is ironically called shikarpur and you are the shikar which means hunter.'

Rudran thanked Major.param and ending the call looked at the images that was being beamed into his laptop from thousands of kms up in space.

Through the secret spy camera hidden in one of the transponders of GSAT-19,Rudran scanned the place and realised the place was vast,maybe nearly 50 acres.The cameras gave him beautiful images and Rudran saw that the property started from the main road and ran into the adjoining forest that lay behind it.The entire property was secure with a fifteen feet wall that ran all around the entire place and was further secured with barbed fencing on top of the wall that was obviously an electric fence.

Rudran scanned the entire place in a matter of five minutes and memorised every inch of place and came back to the two entrances one in the front that was secured by a massive gate and also had some police presence in the front and the only other entrance was in the rear of the property that had a small road that ran through the forest and into a nearby village and from there joined the national highway.

Logging out of the encrypted website,rudran googled the map of the route he was going to take and stared for a few brief seconds at the screen and his brain absorbed every inch of the map and soon,every nook,cranny,street and landmark was stored,programmed for future use and it would remain there as electric signals in the deepest and darkest recesses for until his life existed and would be at his beck and call at a milliseconds notice.


The route that rudran had fixed to shikarpur would first lead him from Tihar jail area on the cariappa marg to higway 48,Dhaula kuan enclave where he would turn left and head on the sardar patel marg and then turn right on the overhead bridge,like our very own chennai's kathipaara junction and then continue on highway 48 and join highway 44 that would take him Ghaziabad and travel further on highway 34 to Bulandshahr and take state highway that would lead him to Shikarpur,where just 20 kms or so away on the Purana dibai road,lay his final destination.

Rudran turned the key in the ignition and the four cylinder engine roared into life and soon idled into a steady growl as if it too sensed the anger that waited for release in rudran's soul.

Rudran shifted to first and quickly accelerated to 80 and shifting to the fifth gear made rapid progress and luckily for him,it was still afternoon and he missed the dreaded peak hour traffic and soon left new delhi and its cess pool of politics and politicians behind and whispered ' som lal,eat,drink and make merry for this is last light of your life and tomorrow the sun will rise on your dead body.This is a promise and i Rudran always keep my promises.'

Redemption 210

The distance from Tihar jail to Bulandshahr via highway 34 was nearly 100 kms and from there it was another 23 kms or so to Shikarpur and Rudran decided that he would stop at Bulandshahr and eat something and see the sights before carrying on to shikarpur after dark.

The reason was Rudran did not want anyone to notice his arrival which would raise suspicions around the area and darkness and the shadows it brought were the best ambience and elements for his kind of work.There was no need for any reconnaissance of the area for with the help of google maps and suryadev,the spy camera,Rudran had a mental map of where he was going to park his vehicle and where he was going to merge and disappear into the darkness and enter the forest that lay behind the estate of the the minister's son,Som lal.

It was nearly 5.00 pm,when Rudran reached the city of Bulandshahr and taking the bypass road ,he avoided the city and entered the road that led to his destination that was shikarpur and locating a decent looking Punjabi dhaba on his left he switched on his indicator and entering the dhabas car parking area,stopped and got out of his Mahindra scorpio and after a few stretches for his upper body and legs and locking the car walked the twenty feet distance to the dhaba.

It was a quaint place with a homely feel to its ambience and there were small gazebo like structures all around the main hotel and probably for families and privacy thought rudran to himself.

Since,he needed a little privacy for himself to make a few phone calls,he chose an empty place that was near to his vehicle and which also faced the road,so he could keep watch on who was coming or going.

In North india,punjabi dhabas are run by the families and invariably,one or more male members would have worked either in the army and served india honorably and Rudran saw a middle aged sikh gentleman walking quickly towards him and saluted Rudran.

Rudran nodded and greeted in the sikh way " Sat Sri Akaal" and the owner beamed a huge smile of warmth ' saab,you high senior officer.your eating here my honor.'

Rudran's eyes reflected the mans warmth and he ordered his favourite food that was rotis and butter chicken and a bottle of mineral water.

The man hesitantly looked at rudran,who asked him what was on his mind and the dhaba owner ' saab,you waiting for 25 to 30 minutes for i make fresh dishes specially for you.okay saab.'

Rudran nodded okay and the sikh gentleman ran as if he had suddenly become usain bolt,the olympic sprinter and was soon heard yelling orders in the kitchen.

Rudran took out his mobile and called Renuka who picked up his call on the first ring ' rudy,where are you and what is happening and when are you coming back?'

Rudran ' renu,i am still in delhi.Not exactly delhi but not very far on an important work and most probably i should be back late in the night or i will catch a red eye flight and reach early tomorrow morning.'

Rather than question him about the timing and the wedding that was planned for the next day,renu startlingly asked him ' important work.in your lingo that usually means something dangerous and violent.Please tell me it is not so.'

Rudran was slightly taken aback that renu could read so much about him through their conversation and answered ' better you don't know anything about it for i will soon be done with it and will be back.Just a small inconvinience that should have been taken care of long ago and am just closing that chapter forever.No worries.'

They spoke for a few minutes and then rudran requested her to convey his thanks and wishes to her dad and ended the call.

He then called Dhana in madurai who also answered the call on the very first ring ' hi rudran.I suppose you are still in delhi' and rudran answered yes and informed him that he had a small job to finish and would be back in chennai late that night.

' Dhana,these identical looking men have entered our country and it will take a few days for my dept to track them down and that is also a bit iffy for they must have dispersed all over india and waiting to spring their surprise on us and our allies.So maybe it is wiser on both our parts to wait and evaluate their strength before facing them.'

Dhanashekara pandyan remained silent ' i was thinking the same but something worrying is gnawing at my senses as if we will be too late to do anything and that we will always be one step behind our enemies.'

Rudran sighed ' dhana,that has always been the way things and battle work out.Action and reaction.But maybe we should be more proactive rather than wait and respond to our enemies actions.But then,we have no clue as to who or what are plotting or rising against us but for those scum Raja durai and Murky.And we both know that we have difficulties in tracking and tracning their whereabouts itself and where does the question of knowing other enemies when they are pracically invisible to us.'

Suddenly Dhana asked rudran ' you are somewhere on some highway near some dhaba' and rudran wondered for a second how dhana in madurai had been able to hit the nail on the head with his question and then realised that the heavy traffic on the roads and their loud horns and the noises of utensils and orders in the dhaba must have alerted dhana as to where he was.

' yes dhana.I am outside delhi in uttar pradesh on some work and it will be over soon and i will see you soon in madurai.'

After speaking for a few more minutes,rudran ended the call and the wonderful aromas of freshly cooked wheat rotis and steaming butter chicken entered his nostrils and taking them in,he saw the sikh gentleman with his wide smile coming towards him with a large tray laded with food.

Rudran hadn't eaten anything from the previous night and was not sure when he was going to eat the next meal and with that thought dived into the food that was so lovingly placed before him and completely demolished every bit and then looked up as the dhaba owner placed a small clay pot near his reach and said ' saab,ghar me maa banaaya.kheer saab.bahut achaa hain saab.please le lo sir.'

Rudran's thoughts ran to his mother and his lost brother bhairav for he remembered that kheer and Basundhi were his dead brothers favourites and tears filled his eyes and with a warm smile,rudran stood up and suddenly hugged the owner who hugged him back and left rudran to eat in peace.

Deep in his mind,deep in the folds of his amazing brain,Bhairav whispered ' rudy,why do you keep thinking i am dead when i am alive in your soul and memory? don't we talk at every given opportunity? don't we meet every night in dreams and nightmares? so please stop considering me dead and just dig into the pot of kheer for i cannot wait to taste it and savor it.'

Rudran shaking his head ' bhairav,i am the one who is eating it,not you.I am the one who is here and not you.so where are you if not dead and the answer is nowhere but just a memory.'

Bhairav laughed ' rudy,i might be just in your memory but i am here and will always be here for you.we are one and inseparable and nothing in this universe can break that bond as long as one of us is alive.'

Rudran sat watching the highway that led to shikarpur and the chill of the night began early in the twilight as light turned to dark.He looked at his rolex and it showed 7.00 pm and rudran rose for it was time that his boss,the prime minister had his redemption.And this time there would be no loose ends and it would be complete and total redemption.

The dhaba owner waved to rduran for though the bill had been just 500 rs,he had left another 500 rs as a tip or rather as a gesture of thanks and love for the kheer that the owners mother had made for him.

Rudran waved back and accelerated towards shikarpur and the bright halogen lights pierced the darkness of the highway with its twin beams of light and he roared ' here come the twins.Bhairav and rudran.'

The light will meet the dark and the games begin as the best laid plans of men and mice go astray.


The boy who went into the dark and came back with light

Redemption 211

The state highway No.18 takes a left as it touches the outskirts of Shikarpur and leaves Purana dibai road to take people straight on into the direction of the main town of shikarpur and it makes a proper u-turn and bends back and rejoins the purana dibai road and together they head towards Saraswati vihar that lies outside shikarpur.

Shikarpur means Shikar-hunting and Pur-"a lot" as per the Bible and Persian language. It is also known as Jaat Land. There is no clear evidence that who laid the foundation of Shikarpur, however it was administered and developed by a saint named Sayyed Abdullah in Lodhi period as it is believed that he was appointed by Ibrahim Lodhi as an administrator of Shikarpur.Shikarpur as the name suggests was famous for hunting from Lodhi Era and it is known for its glorious culture and religious harmony. The inhabitants of Shikarpur are mainly associated with Agriculture, dairy farming, engraving, pottery and weaving from ancient times. Now, it is becoming the producer of high quality doctors, lawyers and professors who are working inside and outside India.

Shikarpur is a beautiful example of Hinduism and Indo-Iranian culture.It is also a center of religious pilgrimage and approximately 80,000 people visit Shikarpur for different pilgrimage occasions.Shikarpur has rich heritage like Ganga temple, Mahadev temple, Maa kali temple, Mahadev temple Barasau, the tomb of Dada Abdullah (Dada Saheb), shrine of Abbas, Karbala Mosque, Imam Bara, Bazare-Shikarpur and Bara Dari(Called Bara Khamba).As with the spoken languages, the ethnic group composition also remains a point of debate, mainly regarding the largest and second largest ethnic groups, the Hindus and Muslims. The 70% of population of Shikarpur is Hindu, Sunni Muslims constituting 20% of the population and Shia Muslims constituting 10% of the population. The Hinduism and Twelve Shia Islam is the most popular religion among the inhabitants of Shikarpur.


The small forest that lay covering the estate of Som lal,son of the aviation minister,did its job of protecting pretty well and also isolating the place from the town itself on three sides but for the main entrance that lay on the main purana dibai road.

Rudran drove around slowly and casually around the town to familiarize himself with the town and its various exit points in case he needed to make a quick getaway and realised that the road that led into the forest was very narrow and would make a quick exit impossible if someone parked their vehicle next to his making his getaway virtually impossible.

This meant,that he would have to firstly park his car in a safe place and then make it on foot and enter the forest and walk nearly ten to fifteen kms to reach the estate of the villain he was hunting.This meant extra time although for rudran it would only mean a stretching exercise and more time to warm up completely before he launched himself over the 15 foot wall that had electric fencing above it as another additional deterrent.

The 15 ft wall and electric fencing was nothing and were not going to pose a problem for the vehicle he was driving had five thick rubber floor mats that he would be placing on the electric wires and even though the shock factor would remain,it would be very negligible.

Rudran had first thought of taking out the substation that fed power to the estate but then he was sure the estate had its own back up generators and would also put the security on high alert.

Since Som lal was the son of Devi lal,a cabinet minister,it automatically meant police protection and this was something rudran worried about for he did not want to in any way hurt a fellow policeman who was just doing his duty and while at the beck and call of these politicians.

Parking his scorpio,Rudran looked at the time and his watch displayed 8.15 p.m.He quickly called major.param and informed him that he was in position and was about to begin his assignment and then calmly ' major.just in case anything unfortunate should happen,please remove my vehicle from this spot immediately for all unknown and parked vehicles will come under scrutiny and especially since my vehicle is carrying delhi plates.'

Rudran waited for another twenty minutes and then as the city began its downward spiral into slumber and settle into nightlife,he got out of the vehicle and slipped into his black leather jacket and removing the two handguns from the secret hiding place behind the glove compartment,placed them in the pockets of the jackets and also took five cartridges that each held 18 9mm bullets and two silencers.

The two grenades looked very tempting but rudran decided against it although the voice whispered that it would be great fun to blow the sexual predators to bits and pieces.

Rudran listened to the voice and whispered ' bhairav,stop.Have you thought of the consequences to the army and my dept if they find that the grenade came from our stock and that it was part of our army weapons.'

Rudran did not know why,but at certain times,the voice and memory of bhairav was very strong and it felt as if he was there next to him and in him and he usually put it down to the love and the incredible bond that they had shared and still shared.

Maybe,he though to himself that it would be better to submit to dr.otto hauptman of the mossad and once and for all clear himself of any problems that the experienced doctor had thought he might possess.

Pushing aside all the thoughts,he finally reached into the glove compartment and brought out the most important weapon that he was going to use a lot before the night's work was done and that had been a faithful friend for many a year now and a name that had a tremendous amount of death behind it.The KA-BAR knife.


Flashback-CHAPTER 17 PAGE 52 POSTED ON NOV 16,2015

Rudran used his key and entered the house and one of the three men who had followed him from delhi made a call and whispered " boss,he is back home.No,i think his mother developed some heart problem and she has been shifted to the hospital and that old man who is called babu has gone along with her.He is here all alone.Okay,we will wait for the others to join.All right."

Rudran had opened the door to his house and entered but he had stayed inside for just a few minutes.In that time he grabbed a small shoulder bag and had removed the formal clothes he was wearing and had slipped into black jeans and a black tee which covered his arms too.He attached the holster into his leather belt and let the tee fall over it and then wore a thin leather jacket,more to conceal the handgun than for protection from the weather which was pleasant when compared to the freezing temperatures of delhi in december.

He slipped his carbon stainless steel ka bar knife into its holster and attached it to the belt in the small of his back.Finally he slipped on the rib-knit three-hole balaclava which covered his face but for the eyes and mouth which his Israeli trainer had gifted him along with the ka-bar knife and switched off all the lights but for the one in his bedroom.

Slipping into the darkness of his house he crouched and slowly peeped from the window and his eagle eyes missed nothing.His mind worked overtime as a GPS locator and fixed the three who had been following him.His eyes then took in the location of the private security men who had been hired to follow them and fixed their locations too.

He closed his eyes for a second and ran the whole scenario and movements in his mind and what he was going to do.

The voice from the womb whispered " rudra,careful da.stay behind me.always stay behind me."

Lying prone on the floor he crawled towards the rear entrance and swiftly opening it exited the house and then using his mobile remotely activated the house alarm which was now armed and ready.

He scaled the eight foot wall like a leopard and jumped lightly into the neighbours compound and raced through five house compounds and still hugging the darkness raced across the road and entered the opposite of his house and then raced through the houses and took position in the house facing his house.thankfully the occupants of the house were old and had gone to sleep.

His Rolex Submariner Black Dial Stainless Steel Automatic danced and the limbs aligned themselves at 11 and 12 and the time stood at 11.00 p.m and Rudran moved.

His body measured nearly 6ft and 1 inch and it weighed a perfect 85 kilos and there was not an ounce of spare flesh on his body.He moved with all the training his peers had instilled in him.He moved with the grace of a leopard that genetics had blessed him with.But then he moved with the anger that he had carried from childhood and for a second he closed his eyes and somewhere deep in his brain a memory flickered and flared and he thought he sensed a connection that had been forged in the beginning.Against this cold,determined and perfect natural born killer designed and then further honed by training what could make a stand or withstand the onslaught,surely not some overweight bullies from delhi.


Rudran moved and came out of the darkness and in twenty seconds all three lay dead on the floor.He stopped just to pick up their mobiles and then vanished into the darkness and sped across compounds and soon was back in his house.


Rudran had come out of the darkness and had shoved the knife into the back portion of the neck of the one closest to him and removing the knife had immediately shoved it into the rib cage puncturing the lung which was not needed for the mad had already died from the stab to his neck.the other two had swiftly turned but rudran held the knife out and swept it across the neck of the closest one disabling him and he had collapsed to the ground holding his bleeding throat and rudran had reversed and had stabbed the last one in his stomach and one slash across the throat and had then turned to the one lying in the floor holding his throat and had shoved it into the left of his rib cage piercing his heart and had slipped back into the darkness.




KA-BAR

On December 9, 1942, after the start of World War II, KA-BAR submitted a knife to the United States Marine Corps in hopes that it would become general issue to that branch of the military. Working with the Marine Quartermaster Department the original design was revised and production began of an improved fighting and utility knife for the Marines.

As the War escalated, the USMC KA-BAR knives became so well recognized for their quality and so abundant in number that "Kabar" became the name by which many referred to this knife pattern, regardless of whether the knife was manufactured at the actual KA-BAR facility.

The USMC KA-BAR was adopted by not only the Marines, but also the Army, Navy, Coast Guard and Underwater Demolition Teams. Years after World War II, many KA-BAR knives were unofficially reactivated in the Korean, Vietnam, Desert Storm, and Iraqi Freedom conflicts.

Today, the original USMC Fighting and Utility Knife remains the first choice for many men and women of service who carry it as their personal knife option. It is also a favorite of adventurers, survivalists, outdoor sportsmen and, of course, knife collectors who know that this knife deserves a place in their collection.

The owner of the KA-BAR trademark, the Union Cutlery Co. of Olean, New York, began using the name on its knives and in its advertising in 1923 after receiving a testimonial letter from a fur trapper, who used the knife to kill a wounded bear that attacked him after his rifle jammed.According to company records, the letter was only partially legible, with "ka bar" readable as fragments of the phrase "kill a bear". In 1923, the company adopted the name Ka-Bar from the "bear story" as their trademark. Beginning in 1923, the KA-BAR trademark was used as a ricasso stamp by Union Cutlery Co. on its line of automatic switchblade pocket knives, including the KA-BAR Grizzly, KA-BAR Baby Grizzly, and KA-BAR Model 6110 Lever Release knives.