Is Gunjan's behaviour Normal? - Page 4

Originally posted by: utfracks

@Mads- I do understand Gunjan, cause I'm more or less like her. But what I don't understand is, if she's in a position to understand what Ash goes through and has helped her come out of it, (She obviously didn't try to be like Ash's parents to help her get out of it, right?) she can ofcourse understand Mayank's pain. Ofcourse her pain isn't any less, but Mads, really, CVs haven't thought so deep. Maybe yes, Gunjan hasn't gotten over the loss, but neither is she unaware of what's going on around her. I'm not saying she's doing it purposely, but then again, I'm also not saying that she's not aware of what she's doing. She is ofcourse aware of what she's doing. And the biggest example for that is Ash. She knows what Ash has gone through, and helped her through it. Maybe she could do the same thing for Mayank. Talk to him, help him through it. I feel, more than the need to keep Nupur alive, she needs to keep Gunjan alive, cause she should understand that Nupur would NEVER want her to kill that Gunjan, for whom she's been for every single time. And if she feels Nupur is still alive, ofcourse she would know that Nupur would NEVER want her to kill the Gunjan inside her. I think if she keeps Gunjan alive, only then will she feel Nupur is still alive and is still with her. Maybe I don't understand Gunjan as well as you all do, but then again, this is what everyone would do.

I m not claiming to understand gunjan completely .. because its jus a perspective of her that I understand and I relate to..the part of me thats like her .. u are saying, u are more or less like her .. thats why mayb u expected certain things from her, because u felt thats the way u wud hav reacted given a certain situation..and when that didnt happen, u are pissed at gunjan .. because u feel HOW can she do this, when this is the way she shud hav reacted n all .. and yes, it has happened to me loads of times too .. but only because I relate a lot to gunjan .. so its not HER as such, but our different perspectives of her I wud say ..

as for her helping ash get over it, its like I said in my previous post .. its easy fr her to lose gunjan-nupur's sis gunjan .. and jus be gunjan bhushan - the counsellar..when she is hearing or listening others' pain .. because then she understands their pain, distinct from her own, which makes her forget her own pain for a time being..and then she is jus being a woman or a counsellar understanding others' pain .. IF mayank hadnt been related to her, then prob she wud hav made him get over his wife's loss in jus the way that u hav said before...

the fact that mayank is her di's husband .. is the strongest living reminder of her di for her .. so its more for her own sake than for mayank that she is trying to keep her di alive .. and when she is consoling him, its because they both hav lost the most imp persons in their life ..

and its not the need to kill the gunjan inside her .. its jus that the fact that she is trying to keep her di alive, thats how she is minimizing or killing the gunjan inside her .. its not an either-or situation..its both .. and she blames sam, because for her, the only things that matter are that she'd told him to drive slowly and he hadnt .. and thats how the car crashed..next thing she knew, nups was dead .. going back to sam means forgetting the fact tht he was unknowingly responsible for her di's death .. and forgiving sam means forgetting again the fast tht he was indirectly responsible for her di's death ..

it all comes back to her di for her ..

@Mads- So maybe what I have made out of Gunjan, is not actually the Gunjan the CVs wanted to portray. For me Gunjan has been sensitive, yet strong. Who lives inside a shell, but when time comes, knows how to come out of it as well. I was expecting the similar behavior from her side during this situation also. I was expecting the responsible Gunjan to act this time. Okay for her she told Samrat to stop driving fast and he didn't listen. But even Mayank didn't. It sets scores equal. Then if that's the case, both Mayank and Samrat are equally at fault. Even Nupur wanted them to drive fast. It's all about the perception Mads. I feel by showing Gunjan in this way, they have destroyed her character completely. Because Gunjan would have never reacted in such a way. The gunjan I know would have reacted in an absolutely different way. But then maybe, it's because I relate more to Nupur than to Gunjan. But this behavior of Gunjan only seems to be disappointing me more. And the only person I feel absolutely terrible for is Samrat in the entire fiasco.

Anyway, like I said, it's good to have healthy debates. Glad that this didn't lead to any bashing whatsoever.

Well, I shall remain firm on the point that what Gunjan is doing is wrong. To each, his own.


I gotta rush now. These damn admissions thing is annoying the hell outta me!

Originally posted by: utfracks

@Mads- I do understand Gunjan, cause I'm more or less like her. But what I don't understand is, if she's in a position to understand what Ash goes through and has helped her come out of it, (She obviously didn't try to be like Ash's parents to help her get out of it, right?) she can ofcourse understand Mayank's pain. Ofcourse her pain isn't any less, but Mads, really, CVs haven't thought so deep. Maybe yes, Gunjan hasn't gotten over the loss, but neither is she unaware of what's going on around her. I'm not saying she's doing it purposely, but then again, I'm also not saying that she's not aware of what she's doing. She is ofcourse aware of what she's doing. And the biggest example for that is Ash. She knows what Ash has gone through, and helped her through it. Maybe she could do the same thing for Mayank. Talk to him, help him through it. I feel, more than the need to keep Nupur alive, she needs to keep Gunjan alive, cause she should understand that Nupur would NEVER want her to kill that Gunjan, for whom she's been for every single time. And if she feels Nupur is still alive, ofcourse she would know that Nupur would NEVER want her to kill the Gunjan inside her. I think if she keeps Gunjan alive, only then will she feel Nupur is still alive and is still with her. Maybe I don't understand Gunjan as well as you all do, but then again, this is what everyone would do.

@bold - Many people here have raised this point - how can Gunjan work as a counsellor, how can she counsel other people if she herself is still stuck in her own grief ... and now the converse ... if she can understand Ash, why can't she understand Mayank ...

My only explanation is .. look at all those associations and support groups that spring up for people who have suffered the same problems ... be it the loss of a child, the loss of a parent, support groups for people suffering the same disease ... sometimes seeing others' pain helps you get through your own, learn to cope with it ... or like in Gunjan's case, ignore it and put it on the back burner, because you simple don't want to deal with it.

So she can deal with Ash ... but when it comes to Mayank ... that's personal, his loss is hers as well ... so she CAN'T deal with it, not in the right way ... she loses her objectivity there completely ...

And seeing other people in situations worse than yours, does help to slowly deal with your loss ... i always love that quote
"I cried because I had no shoes ...
Till I met a man who had no feet ..."
... that is what gunjan is trying to do ... not successfully, i might add.

I'm not pretending or even hoping 😉 ... that the CV's have gone through all this deep thought ...but the track gives me the scope to explore all this and to think about it, ... especially after reading everyone's thoughts ... that's the whole purpose of discussion, isn't it ...

beautiful post zeejay...👏...u said so right...completely agree with each of ur word.and diya,sonali,aahana,mads,aarthi and all u guys...just beautiful replies...👏 👏 👏. i have always said that its gunjan who had gone thru the worst pain with nupur's death. but her nature has always been this only...remember when she got paralysed...everyone like mayank,suhani,uday who had organised a party for her at home are shocked to hear that news...they are not understanding how will they console her but rather its HER smile that acts as a will power for all of them. thats gunjan bhushan...and she has been like this since forever.if we see then acc. to me gunjan,after nupur's death has mainly suffered from two most impactful emotions....ie LOSS (bcoz of nupur's absence)and GUILT(for mayank's loneliness)...
To cover up the loss, she always tries to keep nupur as near 2 her as possible...by acting and behaving like her...by caring for others just like nupur did...by celebrating her bday...and most importantly by being a councellor. i tell u guys whenever on the forum there used to be topics like what do u expect mjht charcaters 2 become in future...i always used to say actor/councellor for nupur...COZ nupur's nature was always like that...supportive and affirmative...and thats SIMPLY what gunjan is trying to do,so that she can feel nupur to be alive and with her always.
the second emotion is of GUILT..the guilt that bcoz of samrat(the guy gunjan trusted and loved unconditionally) bcoz of him mayank lost all his happiness and hope of life.and this very guilt towards mayank is what justifies gunjan's hatred towards samrat...gunjan has abondoned him so that she can do justice to mayank who is suffering so much without nupur.

thus its easy to say that gunjan is wrong bcoz she is not looking at the logical fact that it wasnt sam who was responsible for accident but the brake failure was responsible.but in my view this is the most pityful part guys...bcoz gunjan bhushan was an EVER logical and practical girl...yes even she wud have been struck by the fact that it wasnt sam's fault completely but mayank and nupur's LOSS was TOO big to allow her forgive sam. and thats from where she began to live in denial...that is beleive only those things she wants to beleive and deny others...and thats why she urgently needs to someone who can open her eyes towards the actual truth...coz thats the only way she can HEAL!!! she needs to accept things and move on...and here seriously what i feel is that more than samrat mayank can play a role.YES it will be only sam who will console and support her...but she will not let him do that until she doesnt understand the fact that he wasnt the culprit but just the MEDIUM. and thats why i think cvs r showing mayank with both sam and gunjan.
as mads said...he was uneasy when he saw the quiet gunjan to be so chirpy and even he was uneasy when he saw the ever so happy sam broken completely...mayank is NOTICING this all...and he is registering that he needs to bring these two to normal..else they will not remain in a shape to be brought back ever.

@Diya- Well, maybe you are perceiving the entire thing differently, and so am I. At such times, it's really fun to read contradictory views. Gives you a lot to think about. But I can assure you, CVs have definitely not thought about this with so much depth. It's just us who are trying to rack our brains on it😆

So for you, that's Gunjan's way of solace, whereas for me, it should have been in the fact that she should have lived life the way her sister wanted her to live. Her sister would never want her to kill her ownself to keep her memories' alive,. That's where she's going completely wrong.

Originally posted by: utfracks

@Mads- So maybe what I have made out of Gunjan, is not actually the Gunjan the CVs wanted to portray. For me Gunjan has been sensitive, yet strong. Who lives inside a shell, but when time comes, knows how to come out of it as well. I was expecting the similar behavior from her side during this situation also. I was expecting the responsible Gunjan to act this time. Okay for her she told Samrat to stop driving fast and he didn't listen. But even Mayank didn't. It sets scores equal. Then if that's the case, both Mayank and Samrat are equally at fault. Even Nupur wanted them to drive fast. It's all about the perception Mads. I feel by showing Gunjan in this way, they have destroyed her character completely. Because Gunjan would have never reacted in such a way. The gunjan I know would have reacted in an absolutely different way. But then maybe, it's because I relate more to Nupur than to Gunjan. But this behavior of Gunjan only seems to be disappointing me more. And the only person I feel absolutely terrible for is Samrat in the entire fiasco.

Anyway, like I said, it's good to have healthy debates. Glad that this didn't lead to any bashing whatsoever.

Well, I shall remain firm on the point that what Gunjan is doing is wrong. To each, his own.


I gotta rush now. These damn admissions thing is annoying the hell outta me!

or mayb the gunjan u kno is jus a pesrpective of hers that u kno .. none of us can completely understand what those three are going thru because v havent seen death as they have .. ofcourse, this is keeping aside the fact that they are TV characters and written and scripted to act this way by the creatives, if u consider the behaviour of three human beings who hav lost a person dear to them..each one wud react how their nature is..and v cannot really predict anything until v hav gone thru EXACTLY similar situation in life..which *touchwood* neither of us shud go .. for u to claim "gunjan wud hav never reacted this way" is something I'd thought abt before..but then I thought she has seen death..no matter how strong a human being is..death is the force that snatches away all ur strength .. esp if its the death of sumone as close to u as nups was to gunjan ..

either way, like u said..its abt perceptions ..

and ofcourse she is doing wrong..but u are writing HER off, whereas v arent ..

good luck wit ur admissions .. 😳

@Mads- Lol, I know I should be going. This is deffo the last reply.

I have seen death, and so I'm talking. I reacted in a different way though. But like you said, a different human being would react differently.
Well I apologize if my blaming Gunjan has hurt anybody. It's just a tendency each one has. You wouldn't understand how dearly I loved the character of Nupur, so yes, I am sort of venting out, by taking out my frustration on Gunjan. But then, it's also what I feel is right.

Originally posted by: utfracks

@Diya- Well, maybe you are perceiving the entire thing differently, and so am I. At such times, it's really fun to read contradictory views. Gives you a lot to think about. But I can assure you, CVs have definitely not thought about this with so much depth. It's just us who are trying to rack our brains on it😆

So for you, that's Gunjan's way of solace, whereas for me, it should have been in the fact that she should have lived life the way her sister wanted her to live. Her sister would never want her to kill her ownself to keep her memories' alive,. That's where she's going completely wrong.

actually, utfracks ... we're saying exactly the same thing 😛 ... what Gunjan IS doing ... and what she SHOULD be doing (or what you expected her to do) ... these are two completely different things ... and that's where the whole problem arises!!!! Because i agree with you that she's going wrong ... that's the whole point!!! She is reacting badly ... very badly ... to the death of someone who was sister, mother-figure and her closest friend ... I'm finding an explanation for her behaviour, but I'm not saying it's correct at all ... She's trying her best, but she is not succeeding, because the way she's trying is all wrong.
We're just looking at it from two different viewpoints!

Anyway, good to have a healthy discussion for once on this forum ... 😉

Originally posted by: utfracks

@Mads- Lol, I know I should be going. This is deffo the last reply.

I have seen death, and so I'm talking. I reacted in a different way though. But like you said, a different human being would react differently.
Well I apologize if my blaming Gunjan has hurt anybody. It's just a tendency each one has. You wouldn't understand how dearly I loved the character of Nupur, so yes, I am sort of venting out, by taking out my frustration on Gunjan. But then, it's also what I feel is right.

@ bold : u are the first one to admit this openly and for this thing I truely respect u rachna! 😳 yes, I can understand what u are going thru .. because quoting myself again I HAVE gone thru the same when I thought gunjan wud die .. altho I wud hav reacted differently, again, like I said..different human beings react differently ..

when v relate to sumone so absolutely v sometimes forget that we both are not the same person..that v both are different human beings, and relating to sumone only means that ther are some things of her/him that are similar to us..but apart from that v both are different individuals .. the way u wud hav reacted wudnt match completely wit gunjan's..because she is a different individual .. altho, if they wud hav matched, then u wud hav thought ki thers one more step wherein u can relate to her .. thats how v are .. when it comes to something tht v feel "right" abt the character is because v relate to tht character because v kno thats exactly how v wud hav reacted or how v hav reacted..and if v feel something "wrong" abt the character is because v kno v wud hav never reacted tht way .. and then when v feel its "wrong" ther are two options - either wait patiently for an explanation .. or jus write off the character and move on from the show ..

I m doing the first right now ..

@Mads- And I'm doing the second. So I guess, difference in preception and opinion.