Guide to Parenting by Shilpa Sharma MESSAGE pg37 - Page 5

I beseech God for his bounty and help.

Step Two - Empathy through 'Show and tell'

Pointing out a shortcoming of your child's character through practical experience.

{Lesson Two By Mayank. Empathy is part of those altruistic emotions which are not only important for good social interaction but essential for the healthy development of the human individual. To put it succinctly it is the unselfish concern of the welfare of another and responding with kindness.}

Day in day out, I see parents caught up in the rat race that is our society, working 40 hours a week and sleeping away the weekends in an effort to recuperate; to put food on the table and a roof over the heads of their children to ensure their health and safety. What about the health of their souls; those vital components that ensures their success in the wilderness of dunya? Is it any wonder that people are becoming more self involved and cruel when their basic needs were never met? The bottom line being that children need to be taught to empathise.

Let us now turn to a wonderful example of Shilpa Aunty and witness her saving her son from drowning in this cruel sea of coldness.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhieLnKbICg[/YOUTUBE]

I love the manner in which this scene comes full circle. Beginning and ending with those 'bread ke end pieces'. Harmless, insignificant and forsaken objects. They start life out as a means for Mayank to reverse the roles of parent and child and end their life transformed through the magical insight and outstanding intellect of Shilpa Aunty as a valuable tool to raise the rank of her son.

Mayank the parent, 'Yeh kya hai?' and Shilpa Aunty retorts 'Chashma lagalo, bread ke side pieces hai' Enlightening us to the source of Mayank's classic retorts.

Mayank never falls into the realm of insolence for his words though strict are infused with loving concern. Shilpa Aunty very naturally assumes the role of the child, making that cute sulking face, refusing in that adorable child like manner followed by 'parent' Mayank pouring that necessary accessory glass of juice to aid digestion of those troublesome end pieces, like a caring parent sympathising then subsequently producing that pointed finger of command to which Shilpa Aunty 'the child' obeys reluctantly whilst complaining that 'it would be easier to climb mount Everest!'

Then blink and you will miss it, the roles are returned to normality and she once again assumes the role of loving parent and in a 'by the way' tone raises the issue of Mayank's upcoming dance rehearsal, Mayank copies this carefree tone 'koi baari baat nahin hai' Then Shilpa Aunty changes the tempo, it is a big deal (side note, I love Mayank's smirk at the end of Aunty's line - 'tab tum itney the, ab itney ho gaye ho!')

Shilpa Aunty seeing colours forming in the black and white of Mayank's life holds onto them with all her might. She enthusiastically encourages him chase the rainbow. Again we are privileged to witness the gracefulness of Vaishnavi and Arjun as Shilpa Aunty feeds Mayank orange segments, with an ease as if she had done so his entire life.

Mayank continues without a dint in his nonchalant mask, Shilpa Aunty tries another angle. She is no fool; being a 'master' in chaos theory physics she can detect the smallest, subtlest change in the environment which heralds some kind of wonderful disaster.

'That girl!' They dance around her achievements or lack thereof until dan, dan, dan...

Mayank lets something of value slip; her name...'Nupur!' Notice Arjun's wonderful expression here, reinforcing his mistake. That girl has now gone from a nobody to a 'Nupur' somebody.

Mayank being Mayank he 'circles back to same point.' "Pata usne kal kya kiya, sare notes aise likheythe jaise..."

Shilpa Aunty being his mum needs only this much, to complete the story of 'Perfectionist Mayank and his poor put upon project partner.'

Then the lesson, using those tools to hand and through the tried and tested means of 'show and tell'. Empathy is "to be consoled is to console, to be loved is to love, and to be understood is to understand"

"tujhe samaj mein aata hai? Nahin na?"

In one graceful move she messes his hair and says 'Love you beta take care bye' and is out of the front door, reinforcing that despite his defects he will always have her support. Completely dumbstruck he doesn't even have time to retort 'balon ko mat chuo', pondering the imparted wisdom; he trusts her judgment completely and does not hesitate to put it into practice.

Then we get to witness the fruits of 2 minutes of parental labour.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4nSBUg5HRY[/YOUTUBE]

Nupur gets to witness Mayu for the first time; disbelieving her hearing and sight she pinches herself. She witnessed an 'effect' but could see no cause...

...the cause being the invaluable guidance of Shilpa Aunty.

Wonderful post again Sabah 😃

Reading your post I had this thought, about Shilpa Aunty - the wonderful parent...

She is a single mother, they do not have a financially secure life, they are dependent on her job. In effect, she is a part of the rat race for survival.

Originally posted by: Senny

Aww Sabah I absolutely loveddddd the way you wrote the whole scene. I just wanted it to continue. The best part about the analysis is the way you interpret and make us see things in a more clear light and emphasise on the right very right things.

When you admire a painting, do you praise the canvas? When you eat a splendid meal do you thank the fork? Of course not. I am just presenting the irrepressible beauty that suffuses Mayank and Shilpa Aunty scenes. So no more praising and thanking me.😳

Empathy is such a beautiful emotion, I guess the first step being able to feel and then forming a connection. Building connections is not so easy as it seems but neither is it hard, its all about giving oneself a sincere chance to feel and relate to another person.I use this quote a lot but I just love it, so quite shamelessly lets just call this recycling "The trick isn't to have the courage to risk your heart. The trick is to have a heart to risk."

I loved the way you showed this in this blissful relationship. The rainbow, M did have a black and white life before N, no doubt, but he was happy and for him, this was his rainbow and he didn't even want to look for any other colours, he was content in this little world with his loving mum.Exactly how I viewed it. His life wasn't empty. On the contrary it overflowed with his mum's love and therefore he could quite comfortably have waited until 2016!

But his interaction with N compelled him to look at different colours, its another thing if he enjoyed it or not, but just before this scene or two, he danced and you can see in the end, he has this victorious smile and he seems happy and excited too, he might show himself to be all composed though but he was also lost in that moment with her.Like the majority of us he has that mischievous side too. It just needs some encouragement. I bet even Deodhar Sir has it too, He seemed quite 'happy' to send volatile combination together to Ahmedabad😆

I loveee the part about Shilpa aunty wanting M to chase that rainbow and that part of from a nobody to Nupur somebody hehe,She is selfless without being obsequious, an absolutely wonderful role model.

M is one of the best sons, he not listens to his mum but firmly believes she is right and instantly follows her advice from his heart.He never came across as arrogant to me, just confident in his abilities and effort so therefore he can also be humble, a large ingredient to one of my favourite qualities of Mayank(and gunjan) - Haya.

amaxingggggggggg post, continue soon sabah, would loveeeeeeeeee to read ahead.I will try my utmost to be regular but sometimes real life drama gets in the way!