Guide to Parenting by Shilpa Sharma MESSAGE pg37 - Page 19

Originally posted by: Senny

Hey Sabah,

Hey Butterfly, I guess I planted the perfect wildflower to attract you to this little wilderness of mine! We have missed your precious input!

Coming to step 8,anger management, whew thats something really important. I don't know but I always felt that M is a little short tempered which i found quite normal and realistic. I thought possibly we might get to see this side and how N would calm him down just like his mum does.

No matter how much I try and see N and mum as different, I always feel there is this strong connection between them. N and mum are very similar nature wise thus I felt that we might get to see such scenes for MN, alas up till now we haven't but I still can't stop hoping for that Sabah,Truly, Faith and Love are stronger than hope, not to undermine hope but I believe it is our faith that our love will win in the end.
Wow the two solution you have shared with us Sabah are spot on. I find anger as an evil 😡(see the red logo is scary itself ). Anger for many people may be justified at times but I guess it would still be an evil in my opinion as in anger we end up saying things we don't mean and later on we have nothing to do but regret.😭 Its not always possible to correct our mistakes. Thus as prevention is better than cure. Its better not to be angry and calmly resolve matters. But some people by nature do, the best solution for this would be the best possible way to deal with it as you pointed out for us Sabah.I agree. In dealing with anger, the best solution is water. I have always found the fight fire with fire thing quite ludicrous. However I am beginning to see its wisdom in a world which contains so much injustice, cruelty and pain and all that is given in response is a numb 'well at least that isn't me!' In such cases to not feel indignation is blameworthy. However that indignation should not result in violence BUT rather fuel the flames of passionate action!

G. Neville said "Be calm in arguing for fierceness makes error a fault and truth a discourtesy."

Fighting fire with fire and fire with water, is what we may have heard generally but Sabah, the way you have described these scenes, it is one of the best ways of showing how to apply this solution/principle in reality. I have always been amazed to see how Mayank's mum so easily changes his mood.😃Certain people have a calming affect upon us, like that new born baby smell.

I really didn't get that hindi part in the show, thank you Sabah that was very well explained there. I do get it know, I read in Reader's Digest, the Asian version, there was a quote about the opposite of love, its not hate it is indifference.All credit to Jess, she translated the verses for me, my feeble attempt has been edited out!

Thus when MN fought over the project thing, they claimed to hate each other, possibly they did, at least for the initial days but hating somebody so much means that you still care. Thus MN even in the peak days of their fight still cared and bothered about each other, even if it was just thinking about each other and getting all angry and upset.Hate is varied as love. I agree though there is almost always an underlying cause to hate, whether love, jealousy or something other. Here is was disappointment of expectations, in my opinion. They saw potential soul mates, people they could maybe depend upon. Both had to grow up fast, missing out upon some beauty of this world, but finding the beauty of friendship filling all holes, only to be rent asunder once again.

Sabah I tried to be in line, you had put down everything so beautifully, i just came to share something i felt. I hope i haven't digressed so much Sabah.Butterfly, I would never try to tame your wings, flutter to your heart's content!

God bless you always and always.God bless us all!

Originally posted by: a little faith

Originally posted by: a little faith

Awwwwww Sabah but at times this butterfly just flutters more than she should. I never want to make the the beautiful and smooth motion into something discordant.There is harmony even in your cacophony!

I agree faith and love do win in the end but hope, i guess it is an emotion which is nothing without faith. Hope and faith are intertwined in such a way that it is hard for me to see the clear difference. Lets try Sabah, faith is when we have a positive conviction about something i guess and hope is where we positively belief, yet again, i am making a web over here which is getting inevitably convoluted. Then there is trust as well, faith, hope, trust all possibly do meet at one point.😆😆😆I am happy to see that life's intricacies have caught you too. Isn't that part of the joy; discovering the connections? I guess this is what Shilpa Aunty wanted perfectionist Mayank to realise, that if you already know everything then what more has life got to give you? Ah! the myriad of possibilities. I agree with you, faith is full certainty in something. Hope is that feeling that overrides the uncertainty of things to come. That is why i always place my faith in faith and love, for hope leaves open the door to despair. Trust is that no matter what the outcome of our faith and love, our putting full conviction in them was not wrong.
😆
I agree water is the best weapon but not for everyone, all humans are different, they can be moulded a little here and there, but everyone temperament differs so the weapon possibly depends on how a person is but I have deemed water to be the best weapon at least for a person like myself Sabah. I guess even for M it is better. I agree, but then as you mentioned we must make allowances for different temperaments.

Fighting with water has another advantage is that it just extinguishes the negative emotions and brings a serene atmosphere back but if we bring in fire against fire, the matter just gets exacerbated.True, but in some shallow cases, the fire just needs to burn out. Adding more fire to a burning sun won't make much difference, but adding an extra spark to a firework sometimes bring sudden explosion follwed by beautiful enlightenment.

Wow that was very well quoted Sabah, I agree the baby's smell, even the flowers, the sand, the wet one, they all have such a soothing effect Sabah.😳Meenakshi, was talking about babies today so the image has been in my head. Whenever people mention babies, I just reminded of that heaven sent smell.

Very well done there Jess then.👏👏👏Truly, very talented girl!
👏
I agree MN relation and the ups and downs it went through had to do with disappointments, it was not just M who was disappointed but even she was, she might be at fault but had many times genuinely apologised, she was disappointed as she thought that he was her friend and great friends, no matter what we do, in the end they forgive us and openly accept us. 😭

She was dissapointed with his harsh behaviour, with his accusations especially after the talent parade dance, she was disappointed with the way he insulted her. This led towards her negative reactions which continued till long.Yes, but the silver lining! We learn through hearts more acutely than contentment. Yes I agree it is silly, we are ourselves to be blamed if we only 'hear' 'understand' our own follies when we are tested. In happiness we just seem to breeze through life. I love the whole Darcy / Elizabeth treatment, that neither MN knew themselves until they were reflected in the other. The whole pride and prejudice aspect.

Yes, they lost time in respect to moments of love BUT what price self development?

See i have swayed 😆.Yes but with grace! 👏

Love you loads,

Senny.

I beseech God for consistency.

Step Eight - Tides.

As constant as the rising and setting of the sun; as forceful as the tidal pull of the moon; as expected as the awaited changing of seasons, mothers must consistently encompass a grand harmony over our child's chaotic earth.

{Lesson Eight By Mayank. Our ancestors used to say that 'Your parents are like the Sun and the Moon' you cannot afford to neglect them, for their very presence affects the push and pull of the tides upon the shores of your heart.}

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e-NJpU8Sa4[/YOUTUBE]

In today's rat race of society with parent's and children's timetables colliding, the jostling of priorities as time slips through the gulfs. We live out our lives like strangers in motels. Shilpa Aunty despite being a single working parent is a permanent fixture in Mayank's life. Like the Sun, Moon and Seasons, she is always present for his awakening and sleeping; his going and returning; his consistency and his changing.

The pull of the tides into the cruel and vast sea.

I love the ironic movements that move through both these scenes. The actual opposing the literal. In Mayank's going away scene first Shilpa Aunty and Nupur being the 'actual' whereas in the returning scene Mayank unwittingly becomes the 'actual' opposing the incongruous literal.

'Kabse ye alarm bhajra ha hai." However not for the one who set it.

'Fursat mil jaigi.' As if that free time won't feel like a burden without Mayank.

'Sab kuch apni jagga hai' Including Shilpa Aunty!

She implies that without her presence her mother's work has already been fulfilled. However only by her taking her seat at the table she finds her correct place for her son's loving note.

"Mujhe toh lagta hai ke is ladke ko mujhe bhi zarurat bhi nahin hai." She knows as well as Mayank, as I have said before, they depend upon each other like that perfectly balanced seesaw; without the other not only would they lack purpose in their life but they would be broken.

"Kab bhi toh kuch kam ghalat kiya karo!...Hey bhagwan iske mahdat ki jiye!"

As the sun, the moon, and seasons know that life's perfection depends upon them maintaining their duty but life's beauty depends upon their unpredictable phenomenon such as 'the Butterfly Effect' or 'the Coriolis Effect'; then the piece de resistance in the pinnacle of the movement "Yeh Iccha bhi puri ho jaigi!...Jab Nupur meri saath jaigi, tab sab kuch perfect ho sachta hai, kya?"

"Ke jo problem meri saath jaari hai, uska solution mein pehle se dhondkar rakh ko"

He was the lone solution in need of 'his' problem.

Ending with that last ironic twist "Wo apni sapno ki duniyo mein ab tak koi ho gi" Underestimating her again, for he implies she is lost in her thoughts when in fact she is lost in her dreams.

My heart too sinks at the thought of leaving behind the light of Shilpa Aunty but as a farewell comfort we are honoured with that gracefulness of Arjun and Vaishnavi, as Mayank harmoniously feeds her that sliced apple.

The push of tides towards home.

The elbowing between Mayank's honesty and Shilpa Aunty's incredulity. As constant as the setting of the constellations, she is there to welcome him but notes than indeed the season has changed. The missing assonance in his euphony replaced by the dissonance, cognitive as it may be, does not go unnoticed by Shilpa Aunty.

That mouth opened in disbelief, (as they say, 'cuteness personified!'), not only at the rendition of narratives but that they justifiably 'make sense' to Mayank; the blatant actual staring both him and Shilpa Aunty at eye level opposed to the ludicrousness of Mayank's willful literalness; he sits upon his bed, wrapped up warm for a long cold winter whilst Spring's rain beats down around him!

"waise mein, baal ke khal toh nikalna chahti, lekin..." Shilpa Aunty's gracefulness permeates the pun and flows through into irony; the ebb and flow of actual and literal continues on in her tones. Mayank aptly looks as vulnerable as those rocks on those shores which the tides crash down upon.

Then my top Shilpa Aunty moment! "Bas, bas, bas! mere young kaan, itnay adult details nahin sun sakhte!" 🤣

Despite the sudden, but most desired changing of seasons, we find that the pith of the earth remains the same, "Bhalo ko mat chuo!"

Originally posted by: tehmina3

Heyyy sabah.....Hey to you too, Tehmina

congrtzz on ur 8th step...wow hun, u have come reallly far, soo proud of you...hahahaHey, remember no praise! Yes, we have come far and yet still far to go....😃

I loved ur 8th step...remember wht i said in da PM....words problem...LOLBut not a sincere heart problem, in my opinion the first is manageable and the second terminal!
that bcame a prob for me again.LLOLLL..

BTwww...You have written it nicely..and as usual I can't say much more than that...koz u hav said it all!!!It this the dictionary definition of 'exaggeration' 😆😆😆

hey, when I was watching the vid...I was thinking about the same dialougue...and how hilariouss it was...Shilpa Aunty is sooo dramaticc and cute :)...."Mere young khaan itne adult details nhi sun sakte" LOL...but by saying that she meant that she trusts him and she knows he hasn't done anything aisa waisa...lolOh! Honey, lovely insight. True. Shilpa Aunty can fearlessly inflict Mayank upon the world, because of the upbrining and principals she imparted to him. Most people should be 'put in the corner' by their parents, until they understand the difference between right and wrong, gentleman and scoundrel....better go stand in the corner then...😳

well, I loved your eight step...you're Sabah.Sorry I had to edit out 'that' adjective! Not appropriate language! Here are two you may use in future, silly or absurd

Good bye for now....hear from you soon I hope!😃 Sabah
Luv, Meeno <3

"I love the ironic movements that move through both these scenes. The actual opposing the literal. In Mayank's going away scene first Shilpa Aunty and Nupur being the 'actual' whereas in the returning scene Mayank unwittingly becomes the 'actual' opposing the incongruous literal. "

Sabah I would need a little help with the interpretation of this phrase. What I have understood is that what happened in reality was opposite to what they thought? I guess I can touch on this again after you give me a lesson on this again.😳

Sabah your heart sank at him leaving the light which Shilpa Aunty shed on him😭 but then Sabah I was glad that M moved on as he should know the world around which has more to it than just his mother and studies. I am so glad that he did and N was one of the reasons he got to explore it. I am sure he might have later on without N as well but it would have not been earlier. 😃

He was being temporarily deprived of one light that is of Shilpa aunty but then he was going to be interacting with another beautiful light that is the one radiating from Nupur. That light indeed was quite radiant to attract him to her so much!😳

Now the next aspect, the push of tides towards home. This was one of the most beautifully enacted scenes, that was very well said, she right away got to know about the changed season👏.

Indeed the contrast in the thought processes of Shilpa aunty and Mayank was delineated beautifully! Shilpa aunty being his mother was way ahead than him and I guess even M was almost there but was just not ready to accept and this denial left him behind. Shilpa aunty just by looking at his face once and by hearing few stories understood everything and even knew what was in his son's heart. 😳Poor M just stood defenseless, as he couldn't fight with the truth and thus he was in the same position as you said like the helpless rocks which have to surrender to the waves.

Hehe I agree one thing remained the same, his most favourite line. 😆

God bless,😳

Senny.

P.S: Sorry for the little distorted presentation.

Originally posted by: a little faith

Butterfly,

I am stuck in my own intricate spider's web of a world too. If I delude myself of its permanency, it doesn't make it any less fragile. However it is my home for now, so I mend and repair as necessary, sway with the wind, and watch in awe as butterflies pass by...

The Pride and Prejudice effect...😆😆😆 I am writing about effects for the next step, so this is tie wonderfully well... so until then....

Love Sabah