Episode 210 Discussion: 4th March 2013

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752783

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#71

One thing remains consistant in Madhu's character is she never fails to answer back to someone when she truly believes their wrong. They she splashed water on double thumb's face. Maybe he wouldnt have followed if she had told him off in a smart way the she told off Sikky when he came to lech on her. But I believe he deserved it. Anyway!!1

Edited by Gurtiluv - 12 years ago

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Ananya05

@Ananya05

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#72

Originally posted by: MarathiMulgi

Ananya, Shri,

Is it fear or common sense that she is lacking here? The common sense to judge when to engage and when to retreat?

MM,

I believe common sense in such matters comes from fear which makes you question the repurcussions of your actions,and which Madhu lacks. Its hard for me to recollect a incident in MBverse where I have seen a terrified Madhu.

Edited by Ananya05 - 12 years ago

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752783

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#73

Originally posted by: Ananya05

Sona,
I agree with you.
@bold1: They are pushing RK beyond the point of a confused character. There should be a limit to it yaar. Like RK is caught in the web he spun around Madhu, I feel CVs are caught in the web they spun around RKs character. Do they have any clarity as to how they want to portray him? 🤢 I understand a new entry might be a plot requirement blah blah blah. I am neutral on it so far. But I would have liked it better if RKs realization and guilt would have come from within. Not as a consequence of some extraneous factors.

@bold2: Disgusting. 🤢

this tack wasnt very well planned it evident. Both DD and VD shared, in the live chat, that the creatives had told them just a few weeks back they were planning on taking this twist and both were shocked. There focusing on trps and not coherency in character and story developement. I honestly dont what two make out of RK at this point. Im killing myself trying to make sense of his character. On top of that they keep on showing women's rights issues on the side when they realize the main plot of the story is so against women's rights? Do they realize???

Edited by Gurtiluv - 12 years ago

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Shridevi Gaddam

@0-SD-0

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#74

Originally posted by: Ananya05

MM,

I believe common sense in such matters comes from fear which makes you question the repurcussions of your actions,and which Madhu lacks. Its hard for me to recollect a incident in MBverse where I have seen a terrified Madhu.

Ananya,

And that's why I showed the common sense of the jungle for the most fierce wild cat, which is the lioness. Even lionesses fearing lions live in herds (called pride). What can be more adept teaching than that live jungle example.

You know, in the jungle, even these wild cats fight for only few seconds or minutes. They indulge in scaring off techniques without actually getting physical. You know why ? because their fights can be brutal, with them being injured so bad with their limbs getting torn. And you know, how they are dependent only on their limbs for their survival !! for hunting, survival...

Man!!! The Jungle has more wisdom than all this mankind in the garb of language and brain can teach us.

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Shridevi Gaddam

@0-SD-0

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#75

Originally posted by: Gurtiluv

this tack wasnt very well planned it evident. Both DD and VD shared, in the live chat, that the creatives had told them just a few weeks back they were planning on taking this twist and both were shocked. There focusing on trps and not coherency in character and story developement. I honestly dont what two make out of RK at this point. Im killing myself trying to make sense of his character. On top of that they keep on showing women's rights issues on the side when they realize the main plot of the story is so against women's rights? Do they realize???

@bold

I disagree.

Being an independent woman myself, I am quite convinced that Madhu rubbed RK the wrong

way.

Women's rights...for cheating in marriages, one has recourse only through divorce/marriage courts. There is no law which will protect you for not being reciprocated in love and then being abandoned...but if Madhu is go to court, she still has the chance to be RK's wife until matter gets settled by court since RK will have to prove the grounds for his marriage annulment (the un-wedding).

If women were really worried about Madhu, all of them(in the forum) should have raised that Madhu should go to court...or may be as Madhu thinks...they are just seperated and not yet divorced. Still as many of us expressed, we are not clear what is their marital status now. Are they still married or divorced. One becomes EX only after divorce. The court doesn't grant divorce in a day. Even for mutual consent, a minimum period of 6 months is required.

Since...we don't want all of that, we are enjoying the drama as is...only today I am unable to believe that Madhu was not able to handle a creep or may be I just blew it up out of proportions and that Madhu may actually handle the guy tomorrow.

So I think I am done for the day on this debate then. 😆 Peace. I will wait and watch what Madhu does tomorrow.

Edited by 0-SD-0 - 12 years ago

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kt25

@kt25

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#76

@Shri and @Zoya - Loved both of your post and just don't have room to quote both of your posts. So, I am going to quote the parts that I liked in both of your posts.

Zoya >> Men will always be like this...Prolly they are made-up this way... Like it or not...We women have to accept it and behave accordingly.. Hum kitna bhi naari morche kyun na lagaa le, nothing can be done... It's a bitter truth...

Well said Zoya. Let me share with you guys what one of my cousin's had to endure everyday when she had to use public transportation to get to her college. Lucky for me, I stayed in a dorm and used to go home only for semester holidays. But she had such horror stories to share. Everyday in a crowded bus, guys would be pinching her hips, rub over her inappropriately and so on and so forth. When we used to chat, I used to ask her why does she have to put up with that creepy behavior and she would say that first off she doesn't want to be late to college creating a scene, second off she doesn't let them get away and would usually stamp on their feet or elbow them just as discreetly they misbehave to her. If she would have resorted to slapping every guy who was misbehaving she never would have been able to travel by a bus. The other thing is that my uncle and her dad if he ever got to know then would never allow her to go alone or do things on her own and be independent. She is a sensible girl and stuck to what her common sense dictated her to do at that moment. The other thing that she mentioned was she had to travel by that same bus every day and did not want to become that girl who is noted for creating scenes. She said that she tried her best to leave early from home where she would get a seat and does not have to keep standing where they did all kinds of mischief with the girls who did not get seats to sit and were standing.

So, coming to Madhu, what she thought as an act of bravery by slapping RK resulted in nothing but heartache and public humiliation. Of course, RK deserved the slap but at the end of the day he is a superstar and still is. Everybody seems to have forgotten about the slaps and they seemed to have moved on except that RK is the one who had his ego hit hard and would not let it go until he avenged his public humiliation. On the contrary, Madhu ended up with the title of "Chodi Hui" and is recently a victim of cheap slander by a pervert who once again had his ego hurt when she splashed water on his face. Sometimes, it is much better and easier to walk away from a situation than dealing with it only to find out later that it had actually made matters worse. My cousin's situation was a perfect example where she did not want to make matters worse by publicly humiliating the guys(s) who were misbehaving with her as she knows enough not to mess with them as they travel in groups and instead came up with a plan to counter their action.

@Shri - Despite Trishna having her own flaws, we have to give it to her that she has lot more presence of mind than Madhu and I agree with your statements about Trishna being much more sensible. Remember, we were all accusing her for not telling anyone of Balraj when she had met with him and signed the contract with him. Of course, her motives were selfish but what she didn't do was to put Balraj on stand and question him. She knew that he is trouble and wanted to safely get out of there without giving him any hints that she knows him. That required quick thinking from her end and she escaped unscathed. Now, if it were Madhu in her place, she would have showed her bravery by dragging his past and insulted him only to get herself in a big mess. I am not justifying Trishna's acts but I have to give it to her that she is quick witted and has good presence of mind to gauge the situation and act accordingly unlike Madhu who knows nothing but tit for tat. Sometimes, it's better to lay low and plan your action as opposed to acting impulsively.

Edited by kt25 - 12 years ago

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752783

Hibernated

Posted: 12 years ago

#77

I wont go into detail on the women's rights thing? But how did Madhu rub RK off the wrong way? He knew very well by the end of his revenge that he she was an honest, straightforward, idealistic, girl who always believed in what she felt was right? She might have slapped RK but he was wrong at the the time. She did many things for him in return?

P.S if they went to court the court what become it would be one very confusing case since this was a contract marriage. It said in the contract that this marriage would end whenver RK would like it to. But if Madhu was proved to be RK's legitimate wife she can demand for half his property. Im sure money doesnt matter to Madhu so she wont do it. So why would we demand Madhu go to court? It is not about reciprocated in love in about faking love and treating Madhu as if she were is toy. To drop back in the chawl when ever he was finished playing with her. Yes this was suppose to be about revenge. But it was a huge contradiction in RK's character that he would play with her feelings the same way other's played with his.

But I respect your opinion peace!!!

P.S IIDONA once made very good post regarding the relationship and why it was abusive.

the rest by iidona

These the italicized sentence is not own but, a direct quote from Leslie Morgan Steiner's TED talk on "Crazy Love", commonly known as relationship abuse. I just replaced the names with RK & Madhu's. Here is what she originally said:

[I thought of myself as] a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man and I was the only person in the world who could help Connor[the abuser] face his demons.

Feel free to disagree. However, do not resort to personal bashing/ cyber bullying. I hope this discussion will not amount to a fandom existential crisis.

Here is why I compared Madhu & Rishabh's relationship to classic abuse. Because, the elements are all present.

Seduce her/ Charm her: We cannot deny it. He changed, even if it was all an act. He gave up drinking, partying, he believed in God. He was nicer to people around him. He made her feel like the center of his universe. He was nothing without his Madhubala. And, she truly believed the act. She considered herself the dominant partner in the relationship. She had control over the little things. For instance, RK's diet or his outfit of the day. She was changing him for the better.
Isolate her: RK did not come out of the blue & ask Madhu to come away with me. It was a well executed maneuver. He presented his insecurities about the nature of love. Rishabh declared his affection for Madhubala as if she was at fault for making him fall for her. He guilted her into agreeing to follow him into their own little world where she would be segregated from the ones who loved her. It did not have to be physical isolation, the thought was enough to haunt Madhu. RK was leaving it all for her. She was the reason for him renouncing the glamour, there was no way she could refuse. We all believed it, didn't we? We thought he had become a better person for good.
Threaten her: The love test is the biggest example of this. If you don't do as I say, you don't love me. RK had complete control over what she wore, where she went, etc. The list goes on. He threatened her with consequences every step of the way. You don't love me, being the most common one.
Attack: The altar was the final step to ending his master plan. Leaving deep scars on her soul, he was ruthless.

Granted the events happened out of order, there is nothing missing here. This is abuse, like it or not. I do not want her to end up with Rishabh even though I can bet money on the fact that she will. If one makes the mistake of discarding this as something that does not happen in real life, one is mistaken. I watched on TV a woman trying to rationalize the fact that she was marrying her sister's convicted murderer because she was in LOVE. This is real! And, I am bothered, at the very least, to see the grandiose surrounding Rishbala reunion. Madhubala is a violent, unhealthy relationship.

Edited by Gurtiluv - 12 years ago

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Ananya05

@Ananya05

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#78

Originally posted by: 0-SD-0

Ananya,

And that's why I showed the common sense of the jungle for the most fierce wild cat, which is the lioness. Even lionesses fearing lions live in herds (called pride). What can be more adept teaching than that live jungle example.

You know, in the jungle, even these wild cats fight for only few seconds or minutes. They indulge in scaring off techniques without actually getting physical. You know why ? because their fights can be brutal, with them being injured so bad with their limbs getting torn. And you know, how they are dependent only on their limbs for their survival !! for hunting, survival...

Man!!! The Jungle has more wisdom than all this mankind in the garb of language and brain can teach us.

Shri,

Thank you for throwing light on the common sense prevalent even in wild cat fights.

I would say, I am far far away from Madhu in this aspect. When I was new to this country, I was naturally very apprehensive about my surroundings. I was in a small University town, one of the safest place in the Eastern US. Yet, I was very stringent about adhering to time discipline. I never used to keep out after 7 pm for the first few months under any circumstances, that is until I was gathering other wild cats around me to form a pride. 😆 😆

Edited by Ananya05 - 12 years ago

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kodai

@kodai

Beginner

Posted: 12 years ago

#79

It's pretty late and ended up reading from last page.

Gurtiluv,

Much as I disliked this whole revenge track, and don't want to react too much to it, I don't think their relationship can be termed abusive even with a very strict definition of the term.

Here's why -

Seduce her/ Charm her:

He did that - by really doing good things for her and family ( Mailik's hospital care, getting Mailik out of jail). I don't think Madhu ever thought she was the dominant partner, he was pretty arrogant, short-tempered throughout. And Madhu gave as good as she got. So both were dominant alternately.

2. Isolate her:

He never isolated her when they were together, she always had her family, Bittuji, Radhaji with her. In fact he was the isolated one. When he did the final revenge, he made sure she was back with her support system.

3. Threaten her - I don't think he threatened her at all. I think the love test etc, was another way to make sure the love she had was only for him and not the things he stands for. I

4. Attack - He was ruthless, I agree. He ended the relationship ruthlessly - but that does not make the relationship itself abusive. He made enough beautiful memories for her- I think most people in abusive relationships look back on it with fear whereas Madhu feels sad that he destroyed something so beautiful.

That's why the whole revenge was so successful, he did it by giving her so much love and made himself so precious to her.

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Charu

@Krinya

Trailblazer

+ 8

Posted: 12 years ago

#80

Originally posted by: MarathiMulgi

Charu,

Frankly speaking, for a guy to lech on a woman, her marital status is immaterial. Period.

In this case, RK being a celebrity, puts Madhu unwittingly in the spotlight and may give people wrong ideas about her much sooner than what could have happened to any other ordinary woman who has been ditched by her husband. That's all I mean.

It is very unfortunate that universally woman is left to suffer the consequences of her husband's wrong deeds.

MM , completely agree... the problem is more serious..more to do with social stigma attached to these issues...at the end of the day, only women r to be blamed for their condition and who can change this mindset?

if while walking on a road , a man molest a woman, it's said that she must be wearing provocative clothes

they automatically put a stamp of "available" if the woman is a divorcee, a widow, a single working woman , or in general a woman who's away from a shadow of a man..

if a man throws acid on a woman's face then it's assumed that she must have refused him/insulted him/took panga with him hence hurting his ego

if a woman is raped it's said that she shouldn't have protested to save herself from further physical injury (that's what someone said about the Delhi rape victim🤢)

if a woman slaps a man, she hurted his ego and invited all the troubles upon herself while if a man slaps a woman, a woman should take it quietly bec. a wife has to adjust more or a girl should be concerned for her safety 🤢

if she's divorced then it's assumed that it must be her mistake only...a widowdivorcee getting married again is frowned upon while a man never faces any such difficulty

more general, a girl is taunted for her looks, for not being able to conceive (for whatever reasons) , for giving birth to daughters , so on and so forth..where is the role of a man here? 🤢

i never heard , infact i dun know ke aadmi ki badnaami kab hoti hai 🤢 it's always ladki ki badnaami which is cared for..if she's seen with a guy, badnaami ho gayi, how will she get married?? if she left her husband, ladki ki badnaami ho gayi... when RK circulated his and Madhu's MMS, did anyone say how will RK get married, uski badnaami ho gayi? what all did Madhu face bec. of 1 MMS? A mother , always cautions her daughter but did they ever teach their sons that they should respect women?? i was shocked to know how teenagers , i.e. school going boys talk so cheaply about girls !! did their mothers ever taught them or guided them how wrong it is?? they might not know !!

Sorry for going off the topic here but my point was that they should deal with these issues in a sensitive manner so that the right message comes across...

Edited by _charu_ - 12 years ago

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Episode 210 Discussion: 4th March 2013 - Page 8

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