On behalf of Samanalyse *Season 2, Week 2* Weekly analysis thread

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#41

Some of my thoughts in the form of responses to previous posts 😊

@Malika: To be honest, I stopped watching PNMBD when it went online and I didn't really follow the story with the entry of the kid. What gives me nostalgia for that show here is that same arc of a couple who didn't have the maturity to sustain their relationship the first time around, meeting all these years later, being so successful in the eyes of the world, but completely losing it in front of each other. That sense of history is what makes the interactions between Dev and Sona post-leap, really interesting.

You make a really good point about the whole issue of Sona hiding Soha from Dev. No reason to do that holds water as much as Sona's own desire not share her with Dev. I totally get why she feels that way, and all I want from her is to be aware of, and own that desire instead of trying to pass it off as a sacrifice for Soha/Dev (that would be Ishwari's style). I want her to accept that it was wrong but stand by that decision anyway because she took it for herself. Let Dev know how much he hurt her, and how little trust she had that her daughter wouldn't be completely lost to her if she told Dev. And eventually, through Dev and Soha's interactions, let Sona realise that she needs to trust and let people in more to form real and lasting relationships. She can't always have the emotional and moral upper hand.

@Deepa: That comment from Dev about Ishwari's stories was really interesting. I read it as a combination of sarcastic and wistful. He has now learnt that her "stories" are not true, and that her sweet words don't amount to much in the face of her manipulative actions. But at the same time, I think there was a secret longing there to return to those days when he also believed those stories and life was as beautiful and pure as them.

@Shaavi: Sorry for your loss, and thank you so much for using your personal example to highlight the importance of closure. I think that is precisely what Sona and Dev are lacking. Consciously saying goodbye to something, and letting go, allows you to begin forgiving yourself, which neither Dev nor Sona can do at the moment. More than hating each other, they hate themselves, and have been punishing themselves for the last seven years, for the simple crime of falling in love. Right now I would go so far as to say their actions towards each other are a defense mechanism... to push the other person away so the same mistakes aren't allowed to happen again.

This is where @gmgi's remark makes so much sense... if they weren't angry, they would just be in love, but they are so scared of the latter that the anger becomes their first and last line of defense.

Edited by Samanalyse - 8 years ago

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LiveLife321

@LiveLife321

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: _Payalj_

Sona's idiocy in today's episode had me in splits. Totally Natural, foolish and impulsive behaviour. Aftershocks to follow in coming episodes.

At least she proved why she is Dev's soul mate😆

On a serious note, these two are "Mad"e for each other in true sense.😆

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#43

Thanks for all the contributions. Makes for a good read

I would like to build up on what some of you have said about pent up emotions and hurt. If Dev had called Love a fiction before his confession to Sonakshi, I would have not taken much note. However after falling in love with the feeling of being in love, to now calling it fiction... man you are hurting inside.

We all have a role to play in our micro and the macro ecosystems. When mamaji had endorsed Dev for rightly missing his wife who was packed off to her mayka, he played a very important role there. He validated the feelings of an adult family member that it's alright to miss your life partner. Similarly, when the Boses had clued into to their adult daughter's affection for her boss, they helped her recognise her own feelings. This is what family and friends are for. It doesn't matter if someone is 7 or 28 or 33 or 35 or 80... we all have a responsibility to reach out to our family when we see them in agony or in a state of heightened emotions.

Yesterday, I had to go back and watch the last week's episodes to be sure I wasn't imagining that the Boses & Dixits did see what Dev & Sona did (to each other) at the award function. After all that, the only family members who spoke to Dev & Sona were Golu and Soha respectively. Huh... what? Mamaji snuggled in the bed... Ishwari must be licking her wounds somewhere. Bijoy atleast sent (an ineffective) Gunni because he for once knows his daughter still has those feelings that haven't had a way out (although I think it's more to do with his indignation towards the Dixits and his belief that they are capable of harm). Asha didn't check on her daughter either.

Looking at Dev & Sonakshi in the last 6 episodes, like you all said, they haven't had a chance to grieve the loss of their first love. Dev may have decided to shut himself and Sonakshi may have downed herself in work and parenting. However, as family, I wish the Dixits and Boses had supported Devakshi in letting them vent. Because what they now have is a pair that has a child and are going down a very slippery slope of self destruction. The child custody battle scares me. Yesterday it seemed like the only person who understood what was going on was Shurti.

Dev, dev, dev, dev, dev - For your tempestuous behaviour yesterday, you will get a beating from everyone. Why should I spare you? You have obviously forgotten your manners and can't figure out how to block Sonakshi's thoughts. Take my advice, go and see your personal trainer. Get an intense workout regime in place for couple of hours a day. There is no point kickboxing on hotel doors. That is best done in a well equipped gym - the hotel you are spending your nights in will have one. And that expression when sonakshi opened the door was priceless. Did she remind you of your ex-wife on your honeymoon dinner date in a North Indian hill station resort by any chance? Your face expressions reminded us of a certain Dev Dixit. You need some counselling fella.

Sonakshi - I put myself in your (and Shurti's, more later on her) shoes. My 6 year old is in the room and I know my ex is in a room across the hall. I have had a rather volatile evening myself. And my ex's partner for the night is creating commotion in the hotel lobby. I already tried changing rooms with no avail. Sona, you were right in going out to check on what happened there... You sensibly offered her a call to the reception. You could have offered her a drink or your cellphone or a ride back home. I think the wounded lover in you took over... Quite expected. That lover's feelings haven't had a way out. Your best buddy, your dada is AWOL. What happened was unfair to shurti and unexpected from you. Gunni's attempts were futile. This needed Asha or dada. Not Gunni. You too need some counselling sweety.

Shruti - wow! I honestly didn't think you are smart at all. To be all over this rich businessman and to express your 'love' so soon (you don't study your potential boyfriends do you? Dev Dixit doesn't do love - this must be a well known fact by now). But, you decoded these two in a mere 5 minute rendezvous. Something so many of us viewers haven't gotten our head around. Devakshi are mad and its best to leave them to their own devices. When I put myself in your shoes, I could only think of a dignified exit. Call the reception, get your stuff from the room and get a cab back home. If you need to get back at Dev Dixit, go home and think of a way. Dont let his ex-wife trip you into saying big words like abhadra (by the way, y'day I made a connection between obodro and abhadra!)

Some titbits:

Dev telling Golu a story (Dev you miss your ma, don't you!) on the phone was a nice throwback to when Sonakshi helped him fall asleep in season 1. Also, both Dev & Sona nurturing and telling a bed time story in parallel couple of meters away from each other... I had a small lump in my throat

Dev pinning Shruti on that wall and the funny music in the background made me laugh. Dev, you even repeat your lines from when you used to romance Sonakshi. Funny guy! (You are not forgiven for your behaviour with Shruti)

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#44

@DQ: Wonderful analysis! 👏

After reading your post, I am beginning to realise how significant the theme of nurture is in this story. As you rightly pointed out, neither Sona nor Dev received the kind of nurture they needed either during or after their relationship. This is partly thanks to the precedent they set as the model children of their respective families, who would give and give and never tire, but mostly because of some very selfish and short-sighted relatives, who demanded so much of them that they barely had anything left for each other, let alone for themselves.

This has been the case from the very beginning. Both of them were the sole earners in their respective households, both of them the favourite of the dominant parent, and both were very interested in keeping it that way, which is why their relationships had so many issues as soon as it hit the point of revelation. Dev didn't want to reveal it just yet, but Sona was eager to move to the next step. What was significant here was her refusal to tell her parents until he told Ishwari. This confused me at the time, but then I began to understand after the break-up, how much she set store by satisfying her parents with her choices. A Dev who was still not confident about their relationship was not a Dev Sona was willing to introduce to her parents as her desired life-partner. When Asha found out by accident, she reinforced this idea in Sona which resulted in her putting more pressure on Dev .

Dev, on the other hand, wanted to keep his two worlds separate for as long as possible because he knew that once it was out in the open, the questions would start pouring in, and he would have to share Sona with everyone else. When only they knew, their moments were for them alone, and though he eventually wanted to move forward (in some abstract perfect moment in the future), he was scared of upsetting the balance of the household for which he was responsible. And here is where they both had their first clash, precisely when their families came into the picture.

And this cycle just kept repeating, where the demands of their families kept them from allowing their emotions to be expressed. For me the saddest example of this was when Elena and Vicky showed up married. As soon as Sona found out, Asha called her and told her to make sure Elena was happy in that house, that she wouldn't be able to forgive herself otherwise. Sona wasn't allowed even a few hours to just be angry at her sister, who had broken her trust and done this incredibly stupid, infuriating thing. She immediately had to be the responsible sister who looked after her wayward cousin. When Sona was expected to bear the consequences of her decision to marry Dev, why not Elena? Of course, Ishwari had the same double standard for Vicky and her daughters: Dev is earning well, so why should anyone else have to work?

Like you said, there were rare occasions where people actually nurtured Sona and Dev themselves, and those are what helped them have even the relationship that they did. Without Mamahi, Ishwari would never have opened her eyes to Dev's potential self-destruction and without Asha, they would never have reconciled after the Ritwick fiasco and gotten married, but it wasn't enough to combat all the responsibilities they took on their shoulders and that others heaped on top. There was a lot of potential for Dev and Sona to be the emotional outlets for each other -- for Dev it was mostly sadness, and for Sona anger -- and even their last night together in Shimla was a testament to that, but alas, that potential was not enough to withstand the onslaught of demands and their compulsion to fulfill them.

EDIT: Now they are nurturing a new generation, and despite everything Dev says, he is clearly happiest in a that role. The women are a distraction, just like the alcohol, but only Golu makes him really smile. Sona too, finds her peace in that nurturing role, and interestingly, has raised a child who is ready to nurture her in turn, as evidenced by Suhana's scolding yesterday not to let anyone steal her happiness.

Edited by Samanalyse - 8 years ago

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#45

"aise khayal rakhate hain apna" - remember what she said to Deewana dev 💔

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Shaun

@Jade0001

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#46

Dev and Sonakshi has an inability to let go of their emotions and both cannot really be blamed for that normally Sona would speak to her family whether it was her parents or Elena and Saurav but her situation was such that the name Dev would cause a earthquake in her home so it was best to suppress her emotions and concentrate on becoming successful .

while Dev too has absolutely no one he could talk about his true feelings the person he could be himself with has left so both did the unnatural damage to themselves by suppressing their emotions .

coming face to face with each other brought on the anger and pain for both but at the same time for Sona it also brought on feelings of jealousy advising Shruti I felt she used her to hit back at Dev while already feelings restless with Sona's proximity decides to lash out but the minute his gaze meets her he softens and that made me think when he was talking to Shruti about herself he was actually talking about Sona

Dev and Sona needs to start healing but they can't without any confrontation or without allowing the hurt to come out in grieve

they will now start hurling accusations and more hurt to each other they certainly heading into despair

I'm just hoping that Soha does not get in the middle of all this fights

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thedramaqueen

@thedramaqueen

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#47

Originally posted by: Samanalyse
@DQ: Wonderful analysis! 👏

EDIT: Now they are nurturing a new generation, and despite everything Dev says, he is clearly happiest in a that role. The women are a distraction, just like the alcohol, but only Golu makes him really smile. Sona too, finds her peace in that nurturing role, and interestingly, has raised a child who is ready to nurture her in turn, as evidenced by Suhana's scolding yesterday not to let anyone steal her happiness.

Thanks Sam. I wanted to write a little bit about the next gen Dixit-bose kids and their upbringing.

Golu

Elena and Vicky need to grow up. They may have been near-unemployed-almost-college-going young adults when they got married, but now they are parents. If they didn't want a kid and were tricked into having one, they should either have aborted the baby, put it up for adoption or need to be honest and find a nanny for the kid. None of the elders in that house seem to be nurturing Golu except Dev. As far as GKB is concerned Golu seems like a means to an end -the end being Dev's fortune. As a busy working mother of a 7 year old, I struggled to ignore Elena and vicky's attitude towards their child. Usually working parents would take time out, do a bed time routine and then go back to work. Elena promised Dev bhai that she will take care of Golu's academics and then lets him wander around the house way past his bedtime.

However, Thank God for Golu. Not only is he keeping the child in Dev alive, he is also nurturing his BigCha. To me he seems like the recipient of all the'love' that Dev has (Dixit sisters, where are you?). These episodes cant roll fast enough. I am wondering how will Golu feel when he finds out his BigCha has a tiny miny Soha of his own? Golu does seem like he is more of a Dixit - very vocal with his demands. I suppose in that house you get what you ask for.

Soha

We have all picked on how mature she is in her thought process and very much a living reminder of her dad in her mother's life. Sona's insecurities resurfaced when she asked who soha wanted to take a photo with. That selfie moment took me right back to the selfie Soha's parents took in the car when they were dating. Sona is nurturing Soha. I am however not so sure she is giving her the right tools to deal with all the information and the complicated family structure Soha will have to face one day.

Devakshi

Like you said Sam, Dev & Sonakshi have an inherent nurturing character.

Dev came across as a materialistic provider. However, if you observe him, he used to give what he saw was needed. And like you pointed out Sam, he had ishwari as a role model. I also think Neha was an excellent role model. She gave it all while nurturing Nikki, riya AND Ishwari and Dev. Dev would buy Neha an AC, Riya would get her training at bhaiya's company, Nikki would get her night out and Dr bose would get a lift back home. He 'filled' the gaps where he identified them. And he continues to do so with Golu.

Sona was different that way. She wouldn't wait to be told or wait for obvious gaps. She read people's thoughts. She helped Mr Dixit get off of the pills. She helped Mr Dixit's mother deal with her old baggage when she wanted to throw away her kids' memorabilia. Similarly she empowered Neha make a decision with regards to taking English classes or not.

And this is where I think Soha needs both her dad and mom. Soha is having to grow up too fast and Dev might have helped slow that down by making some of the obvious things that a kid sometimes yearns for.

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timbarucha83

@timbarucha83

Navigator

Posted: 8 years ago

#48

Hi After reading all the beautiful post. Now I want to pen down my thoughts which are mainly related to Dev and sona's behavior. How they think and act.

Now coming to yesterday's episode one thing is pretty clear that Dev and sona madly in love love with each other which is under there anger and hatred and I feel more then hatred it is disappointment They both have exception from each other and they didn't come true.

First off all as this is mention in the some of the previous posts dev and sona entire life is dedicated to fulfill there parents expectation. In case of dev it is Ishu's and his families expeditions and for sona to fulfill the families financial need and to give the justices to bijoy's expectations and pride. Bijoy and Ishu was not happy with there relation because some where they have a fear about there child. You will be get surprise that why I am adding Bijoy's name with Ishu. Honestly I fell Bijoy has the fear for sona also. This fear gives the birth when before the breakup first time he interacted with ishu and she mention

her disaggrement. And it get increased when dev breakup with sona because of Ishawari. Some how I fell only dev and sona have the power on each other by which when they were alone with each other they were in there true form. For the rest of the world they acted according to other's expectation. That why when they were alone they were always happy. There parents see there changed behavior when they are each other by which they have never expected. meas when soan decide to learn how to cook the food. Baba bose doesn't like it. because he has never imaged his daughter in this way. same applies in sona and ritikes engagement. and same theory is applied to Ishu. Both the parents are always vocal about there exception from both of them. Ishu in the form of guit trip related to past and Baba bose with his continues talk that how dada is useless and how sona is perfect and his pride. This entire thing always added a burden on both on them so they never think about them self and not for each other. This thought come in my mind when I saw the episode of slap gate where deva and sona was in the car and there conversation related to Ishu's expectation and Baba bose's questions. Both the parents had decided the how there child's future should be and when they see some thing different they get scared.

Many of the members' are not happy how sona reacted in yesterday's episode many of them feel she is immature if she have moved on how she can act in such way. But I notice one thing. That when dev and sona are with each other they in there most purest form where they act how they want to act. They show there felling in the way they want to show. This the power they have on each other. In other word they go in each other's skin.(By the way I like this words very much. I have read in one of the posts.) That why there parents have always have the problem with there relation.

I hope one day they will throw this burden away and live for each other and thinking for them self. Dev some what is able to do after Ishu's betrayal . I am waiting for sona when she will make her own decision about her without considering the Baba's expect ion.

Edited by timbarucha83 - 8 years ago

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gmgi

@gmgi

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#49

Today I felt for Ishwari. It must be hurting so terribly because her fall was from the zenith, from her pedestal and it must have been brutal. As much as she hates and blames Sona for all the discord between her and her son she was still hoping for a miracle. Some emotions from her son. Dev is now an expert in hiding his emotions from his mother. She searches for her Dev who used to wear his heart on his sleeve. After she knew that, Dev have met Sonakshi she hoped the latter might trigger some emotions in him. She was waiting to be there for him if he needs comfort. But alas her son have put shutters all around his heart. It is still bleeding but he is determined to not show it to the two most important women in his life who hurt him.

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Samanalyse

@Samanalyse

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 8 years ago

#50

You know what really sealed the deal for me feeling for Ishwari today? She offered Dev food and he flatly refused. To borrow DQ's useful terminology, Ishwari's language of love was always food, and Dev acknowledged and appreciated that love by eating what she had prepared no matter what. Recall all the times when he has tried to resist, but finally come around in the end and wolfed down her offering, whether he wanted to or not. To refuse Ishwari's offering of food is to refuse her love. Today, Dev did just that.