The only thought that is disturbing me.. - Page 5

Originally posted by: saumiee

Oh absolutely not! It is nice that this thread is open to all the sides of a coin, makes up for an interesting discussion.

😃

The speech started of as Ishwari's own experience and the sense of fulfillment that motherhood gives. Very true.. and I could emotionally connect to the dialogues to some extent but it soon drifted of to generalizing everything about each and every mother. I specially did not like the Vanvaas analogy, her saying, maa piche reh jati hai, asal zindagi me kaushalya vanwaas jati hai.

I felt she was trying to convey that when a child is punished /suffers the mothers suffers as well .When Lord Rama was asked to go to Vanwaas , a mother suffered by staying away from her son.In a way she was saying how for a mother her children are her universe .

She never meant Dev left her .

..You know this is the reality of many sects in the society, but this coming from Ishwari whose son has given up even his life once to make Ishwari happy.. And the boy did not even complain of it. .He makes sure Ishwari's blessings are always with him..did not make sense to me.

He is made to take guilt trips again and again and this speech, on his birthday need not include the fact that children abandon their moms, when clearly Dev is not of that category, inspite of mom's world being their children and lastly adding the line 'Mera dev aisa nahi hai" was just emotional manipulation further.

She started her speech by sharing her story but later made some generalized statement about how some sons treat their parents and at the last she was proud that her son is different .Like you said Dev has given up his happiness for his mother and she acknowledged it .That's my interpretation .

This is how I saw it, the emotional manipulation may not be intentionally done...but it was done. Plus the Mama's boy line was an indication that she doesn't really care if people look down upon her and Dev's bond and she is proud of it and it is beyond understanding for Sonakshi. And also that they are unique.

Sonakshi was not right either when she made that comment .When Dev was apologizing , there was no need to bring that up .She sounded bitter and she could have avoided this taunting at least on his birthday

For Ishwari , her relationship with Dev is natural and she does not realize her insecurities .It looked more like a hurt mother speaking rather than a taunt .

Yyy, you said Ishwari is not a bad mother just insecure. I say Ishwari is a good mother if you take out the insecurities. Whatever she has done knowingly or unknowingly, in the name of her insecurities, does not fall in the category of a good mother.

Bijoy was a little too much, I won't deny, by openly insulting the dixits like this but I felt this was much needed for Dev to wake up a little to handle the situation immediately and bring in practice what he corrected in his mind. Bijoy has always been impulsive and later all this was brushed aside as a joke. And Bijoy was hurt that his wife was hurt. I liked how, even if his way was wrong, he did not take it silently.

That's the problem i have with Bijoy. His approach is totally wrong even if his intentions are right and what makes it worse is his double standards .He has different set of rules for his family and others .He encourages his daughter to change his SIL but cannot handle if his daughter wants to change for her husband .He cannot stop praising his daughter but cannot appreciate his son's genuine effort .

In this whole situation , Dev came across as a sensible person to me than Bijoy .He could have got offended with Bijoy and could have just brushed it off as a joke instead of apologizing but he realized his mistake .Dev handled the situation better than Bijoy here (for me)

I would support Bijoy if tomorrow he supports others if they follow the same approach to correct his daughter's mistake.😳

This speech would have a different impact had it been from Asha or even from Dev for ish, because for him his mother is the best.

Now even a genuine gesture from Dev towards Ish will not be accepted easily and will be considered as something against Sona.

I am sure if the speech was from Asha then people would have accepted it with open mind 😳

Ishwari's speech had no impact on me as a viewer, it did not have real emotions just words.

Originally posted by: tia.o

<font size="3" color="#990033">Considering how many mothers took offence to that speech, just shows how fake and regressive that speech was.</font>

<font size="3" color="#990033">Really? The person who gave birth don't understand what being a mother means? Then why give example of Yasoda and Krishna?</font>

<font size="3" color="#990033">And Ishwari has four kids, but the rest of the three might as well be invisible, imaginary children based on the attention she gives them.</font>

<font size="3" color="#990033">This is not motherhood, it's fixation.</font>

<font size="3" color="#990033">I can bet you Ishwari is going to use it on Sona during infertility track.</font>

Originally posted by: yyy

Saumiee please don't feel bad as I am gonna share a different opinion here . I would like to say it was a mother talking about her experience on motherhood .She said being the mother is the ultimate satisfaction for every women but she was talking from her experience and she did not mock women who can never be a mother.She was talking about herself here .She spoke about her experience of becoming a mother for the first time and the changes that brought in her life .She said once a women becomes a mother her first priority will be her kids .Isnt it true ? Few days back Sona dadi said the same about Asha as well .She said how a mother when tensed will not think of anything but her children .She is mother first then a Bahu

She is not a bad mother .She is insecure about Dev's love and that has led her to making some mistakes in life.She was the one begging Sona to marry Dev .She wanted to give Dev what he wanted and for that she could go to any extend even forget her self respect .Only a mother can do that .Lets not forget that she is Dev's mother not Sona's so expecting her to treat Sona as her daughter is not possible at this stage .The bond between a DIL and Mil will grow with time ,it cannot happen the day her son marries .

When she said about mama's boy she meant only a mother will know the dynamics between mother and child .Its like saying "Jab tum Maa banogi tum samjogi" .We have seen Asha using the same dialogue .Some maybe feel it was a taunt but for me it was just a way to convey her message that calling him mama's boy hurts her .Each it's own so won't force my opinion on anyone .

Coming to the taunt , I have the same rule for Ishwari ,RRand Bijoy .If Ishwari/RR was wrong in openly taunting Sona then so was Bijoy .Yes Dev made a mistake but being a elder person he could have handled the situation maturely .Taunting him when Ria's family memebers were present was not needed .Making a tamasha was uncalled for .Yes you are hurt but let's not forget that there will be a time when his daughter can make mistake (had made mistakes too ) but as a father you will not appreciate if they taunt your daughter openly .I know I am the minority here as many would disagree .

Originally posted by: mena_k

Is she a good mother ?
A mother who only remembers her Son and forgets about other three daughters, would you call that being a good mother.
If Bijoy was not being mature, what did Ishwari do, make a tamasha in front of everyone, even in front of Riya's potential in-laws, about how much Sona's comment hurt her, couldn't she had been mature enough and sort out issues with Sona privately considering this was her home. Why taunt in front of the entire family and guests. Sona as we all know would have listened to her POV.
Was getting pregnant and giving birth to other 3 kids were accident to her which she wants to forget all the time as bad memory and remember the only happiness of becoming mother to Dev and his birth.

There is a big difference between both the scenario .Bijoy was openly making tamasha and Ishwari did not bring Sona's name nor taunted her as Bahu who calls my son as "Mama's boy".Only Sonakshi and Dev could understand the subtle hint given by Ishwari .

After re watching the speech i felt it was a more of a mother's vent and how a mother feels when her son gets married and changes which happen in a mother's life .Today was Dev's birthday and her speech was for him .It would be have been good if she had included her daughters but i won't completely blame her or trash her speech as non sense.

Now that we are comparing Ishwari and Bijoy .How is Bijoy a great father who differentiates between his son and his daughter .The one who constantly critizes his son and takes out all his frustration on him .Is he a good father ?Is this acceptable because he is partial towards women (girl)?

I never supported partiality towards any of the children be it Ishwari or Bijoy .

Bijoy was not absolutely wrong, when both mother and son were hell bent on proving what they did was right and lied to Sona not once but repeatedly. If they thought what they did was right, why lie.

Dev had already realized his mistake and the so called taunting from Bijoy did not help even a bit .Dev could have easily brushed it off as a joke .Who is saying Dev was right but i wont support Bijoy either .

If Bijoy is right then so is RR for taunting Sonakshi when Sonakshi interfered in Neha's matter which led to further complications like mental harasment and Ranveer's outburst for confusing them .Can we say RR is right as Sona did not talk to Neha before meeting her in laws .Please don't say it effected her life so she has all rights to interfere in Neha's personal matters .

Can we say RR and Neha were right when they taunted Sona for revealing Neha's martial issue to her parents without consulting her .Did Neha ask Dev or Sonakshi to cancel her HM , it was their decision (Before you say its only Dev then let add by supporting Dev she became part of his decision)

Originally posted by: mena_k

Right now, I am only waiting for Dev's second marriage. BTW would it be without getting divorce from Sona, since he is so much in Love with her and can't live without her.

Originally posted by: baijubavra

oMG ! I am thinking that these two jerks will convince Sona to have the divorce on paper while Dev will maintain his relationship with her while he impregnates the other wife.

May be the first promos where he goes and sees her with a pen are from that situation.

😭

Dev thinks that it is his duty to give children to his mom, he can't live without Sona and Sona can do anything for Dev. Omg if this happens , I am going to die puking!

Originally posted by: thedramaqueen

This has been my worst FEAR ever since they kept delaying get the suhatraat. However fellow forum members assured me I was over thinking so I put my mind to rest

You see Dev spending nights with another woman while sona tadpofies has so much mileage. Dard loving viewers like me will lap it up. So what if it shows regressive thinking. So what if they don't show modern fertility solutions like surrogacy. That won't sell. What scared me more was Dev even made reference to that movie once -chori chori chukpe chupke