FF:Aankhein(MP/NA) Complete, Pages 1, 2 and 3 - Page 2

Final Part II

*This part goes out to JC, who is turning or already has according to Greenwich mean time...turned a year older... Happy Birthday my sweetheart...

The consequent days passed in a bit of a blur for both Neev and Ayesha. Their relationship grew; despite the initial awkwardness, they both strived for a deeper, stronger relationship and now, Neev would not let Ayesha be. Though Ayesha chided him, got frustrated with him, she was glad that he spoke; he smiled and made her too. She was glad to not have to keep everything to herself, to think constantly about how she behaved, how to keep him at bay. She wanted to be closer to him, to hear him speak to her about his day, to continue to let him put his arms around her as he came home from work, to let him make love to her.

'Neev'' Ayesha followed behind Neev holding out an umbrella as he raced out of the door in the morning for work, 'Rukho'chaata tou lete jao (At least take an umbrella)'' She crashed into Neev's back and as he turned slowly, dropping his bag, a slow, mischievous smile formed on his lips. He held out his hand for the umbrella and as Ayesha placed it in his hand, he reached forward to grab he wrist and pulled her out of the doorway. 'Neev' she squealed but he didn't let go, instead he dragged her along behind him across the chawl. Ayesha tried to resist but on noticing the strange looks of her neighbours, she followed him willingly, in fact had to practically sprint after him.

Neev climbed quickly up the stairs with Ayesha behind him towards the chawl terrace. It was a large open space and usually it would be laden with women drying their clothes but today it was empty for the women were safely in the homes, awaiting the rain to pass. The rain, just for Neev and Ayesha continued to pour and drench them from head to toe. Once they reached upstairs, Ayesha yanked her wrist free and stared at Neev in disbelief, 'Pagal ho gaye ho?' she shouted across to him as he walked into the middle of the terrace and spread out his arms, welcoming the rain into his embrace. Ayesha shook her head at nobody in particular and stood shivering, 'Neev! Main jaa rahi hoon!' she called again and turned to descended the stairs.

Neev opened his closed eyes and squinted to look at Ayesha's retreating back against the rain, he smiled for a moment and then chased behind her. 'Hey, hey, hey...' he whispered in her ear, pulling her shoulders back towards him. 'Neev...Chodo...( Neev...let me go...)' Ayesha said half-heartedly, shrugging her shoulders to get free but Neev continued to hold her, even closer, letting an arm snake around her waist. Brushing aside the hair matted across her back and shoulders kissed her there. He heard a faith murmur from her, something he assumed to be 'Koi aa jaye ga...(Someone will come...)' and her shoulder tensed up slightly. As Neev continued trailing kisses across her skin, her voice grew louder and she tried to move away, 'Neev...please...koi dekh lega...( Someone will se us...)' she pleaded, she wasn't sure who could see them but she didn't want to risk it. Neev ignored her, saying, "Tumhe kabse kisi ki parva hone lagi? (Since when did you care about others?)" And turned her around to face him; he gently stroked her cheeks and cupped her face in his hands. He would have kissed her but as she placed her hands on his and plied them away, he complied with her wishes and stepped back, running a hand through his hair and smiling slightly.

Ayesha watched Neev back away with mild disappointment in his eyes and she marvelled at the man in front of her, he was still smiling. She had almost turned to leave when a thought had struck her and looked back towards Neev. With a tilt of his head, Neev questioned her but she bestowed upon him a small smile and shook her head. She stood in front of Neev, looking up at his face for a moment, watching the droplets of water bounce off his face in fascination and then unexpectedly, she tiptoed and pressed, with the softest of touches, her lips against his. Neev's hands travelled down her arms to pull her closer and then moved upwards to settle against her cheeks.

'Neev bhaiyya...Neev bhaiyya...' Someone yelled as they ascended the stairs, 'Aap ke liye phone hain... (There's a phone for you...)' and both pulled apart quickly. 'Kaun hain... (Who is it?)' Neev asked right away and then remember who it would be, 'Shit! Priya...' he said and walked quickly down the stairs to receive the call, leaving Ayesha standing on the roof top in the rain.

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Ayesha waited for a few moments, wondering if Neev would return and explain who this Priya was but he didn't and she then gradually made her way back downstairs too. She walked through the door way to find Neev pacing around the small room, drying his hair and trying to do up his tie. Sighing, Ayesha walked up to him and took the towel from his hands and began to pat his hair dry. He smiled at her gratefully and continued on his mission to get dressed properly. Ayesha stood there, holding the towel, feeling an odd burst of happiness watching Neev but her smile soon disappeared as Neev rushed out of the door, without a second look.

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Neev reached the office in record time to find Priya waiting outside, angrily clutching at an umbrella. She turned her face petulantly when she saw him approach her, 'Hey...' he greeted her but she stared pointedly at his watch, 'Yaar...maaf kar de...biwi ke saath tha...samja kar (Forgive me mate...I was with my wife ...try to understand...)' he grinned at her. Priya attempted to grin back but she felt an odd sort of twinge in her heart as Neev said that; Neev saw her almost as one of the guys and he would never know that she wished that he didn't. She didn't know what drew her to Neev, he seemed to have this sadness around him that she wanted to instantly remove and when she had just spoken to him one day, unable to bear his long face, she wasn't expecting it to turn into this. She had liked him from the very first, he had that kind of face, someone that puts you at ease instantly but then the more they spoke, the more she wanted to spend time with him and when the business proposal come up, it seemed the perfect excuse.

But then she found out he was married, he mentioned it out of the blue one day to one of the guys in the office and she couldn't even remember why but he never spoke much about her or their marriage. She took the news well, even convinced herself what she was feeling was nothing and things continued as normal. She didn't know what was happening with Neev but since then she had noticed a marked difference in his behaviour, he smiled more often, he spoke of his wife more often and he worked harder than ever. It made her glad to see him transform but a part of her wondered if his previous sadness was something to do with his marriage and if so, could she have been the one to make him happier?

'Accha...jis ke liye tum yeh sab kar rahe ho na...us ke liye tou time pe aaya karo...maine Bank ko phone kar diya hain... they're still waiting for us. (Fine...at least come on time for the person you're doing all this for...I called the bank...they're still waiting for us...)' Priya said; she tried to keep her voice impassive but she sounded strange even to herself and she frowned a little.

Neev held his ears and Priya couldn't help laughing, he then hooked an arm around her neck and ruffled her hair, 'Chalo... (C'mon)' he said pulling her along and she looked up at him then, wondering what this was she was feeling for Neev. 'Aur suno...aaj sham ko tumhe ghar aana hain... (And listen...tonight...you have to come to my house)' Neev started again but Priya was too confused herself to listen properly and she shook her head dismissively.

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'Hey...' Neev said kissing the side of Ayesha's hair, she took a deep breath and smiled to herself and then said seriously, 'Neev...khana bana rahi hoon...jal jayege... (Neev...I'm making food...it's get burnt...)' Neev stepped back shaking his head and then pulled at her hand, 'Koi zaroorat nahin...yeh sab chodo aur chalo...kuch dikhana hain...(Doesn't matter...leave it...I gotta show you soemthing...)'

'Neev...bauhat kaam hain... (Neev...there's lots of work to do...)' Ayesha protested but he was adamant, looking at her incredulously, 'Tou saara din kya kiya...mera intazaar? (Then what did you do all day? Wait for me?)' Neev smirked but stopped when Ayesha shot him a stern look. Neev carefully manoeuvred past Ayesha and switched off the cooker and then placed a hand over her eyes despite much objection and lead her upstairs onto the terrace again.

Ayesha wiggled impatiently under Neev's hold and he was forced to let her go but she was stunned into silence when she spied in the middle of the roof top, a small table with a single candle in the middle. She wondered what was in the bottle in the long metal stand and there were a few glasses on the table too.

'Ayesha...aaj main tumhe sirf yeh hi deh sakta hoon... (Ayesha...today I can only give you this...)' Neev said, motioning towards the modest table, 'Lekin, aaj ke baad...main duniya ki har khushi dena chahata hoon... (But after today...I want you to have a world full of happiness...)' he continued earnestly, grabbing hold of her hand in his and kissing the back of it. Carefully he explained to her about forming his own company, his plans to quit his job and so on; today he and Priya had finalised the bank loan and rented office space, they had even recruited some of the off staff they worked with. Ayesha chocked back a lump forming in her throat and merely nodded. He had already made her happier than she had thought she could ever be and she cursed herself when she thought about all the time that she had wasted and all the hurt she had put them both through. Ayesha placed a hand to Neev cheek and was about to say something when she heard a rustling behind her; she turned to find a young woman standing at the top of the steel steps. Ayesha's brows knitted in confusion, the woman's face was familiar but she couldn't place it and she also felt a tad annoyed at the intrusion. She looked up to find Neev also spot the woman for he was smiling broadly and waving his hand for her to come join them.

Usually Priya did not shy away in a new environment but this was something different; though Neev had invited her, the moment she walked up to the terrace, she felt as though she was interrupting a very private thing between the couple. She felt her stomach lurch as she watched them but she smiled through it.

Neev waited for Priya to come forward but he could see she was hesitant, he laughed at that, when had he ever seen her shy? When she didn't move, he let go of Ayesha's hand and walked towards her. Ayesha looked bewildered at the situation and hoped someone would explain soon, her own mind was already forming many illogical conclusions. Soon both Neev and the woman were in front of her and though she wanted to, she couldn't force herself to react, instead she stood there dumbly as Neev introduced them.

'And this...' Neev spoke to Priya, 'is Ayesha...suna tou bauhat hain...ab dekh liya... (You've heard alot about her...now you can see her...)' Ayesha was mildly uncomfortable in front of Priya but she was mostly just relieved that the girl she had seen Neev get into the rikshaw with, the girl she tried not to think about was just a business associate, she could handle that. 'Tumhi batao... (Now, you tell me...)' Neev said slowly looking at Ayesha, 'Derr na ho jaye...tou kya ho jaye...(How can I avoid being late...)' 'Neev...' Ayesha chided but he laughed and Priya also forced a small smile.

There was a silence after that, which begged to be filled but Neev was oblivious and Ayesha didn't know what to say; it was up to Priya, 'Ayesha...tumhe Neev ne bataya...woh company tumhare naam se shuru karna chahta hain? (Ayesha...has Neev told you he wants to start the company in your name?)' She ventured but Ayesha looked unaware of any such thing and turned to Neev for confirmation. He looked sheepishly back at her and confessed that was his intention, 'Priya...tereko koi aitraaz nahin... (Priya...you don't mind?)' Ayesha asked suddenly though she was secretly delighted to hear that but Priya merely waved it off, 'Aitraaz kyun hoga... (Why should I mind?)' 'Nahin...shayad tere ghar mein koi aisa ho jiske peeche tum bhi... (No...I mean...there might be someone/something you wanted to name the company after...)' Ayesha explained and was met with the silent stare of both Neev and Priya, who shifted uncomfortably on the spot, 'Mere ghar mein sirf mein akeli hoon Ayesha... (I live alone Ayesha...I have nobody...)' Priya said rather sadly and just for a moment, Ayesha felt any bad feelings she was having about the woman evaporate. 'Hey...' Neev said soothingly, pulling Priya to him in a hug, 'Main hoon na...(You have me...)' he offered and Priya smile gratefully up at him, wanting to stay like that for some moments longer but then she saw the expression on Ayesha's face and moved quickly away from him.

Priya didn't stay too long after; she waited merely for the celebratory drink and then left the couple to be alone, she could sense that they had a lot to talk about and though Neev protested to her leaving, she knew that Ayesha was as uncomfortable as her. She found it strange that someone like Neev had ended up with Ayesha, especially the way she spoke, and she wondered what made Neev fall in love with her. She was beautiful to be sure but she didn't know anything else or perhaps she didn't want to.

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Ayesha walked back with Neev to their home pensively; she was still trying to process all the information that had been relayed to her today. Neev had been planning so much for their future and here she was about to ruin everything...it made her sad to think about it and as Neev squeezed her shoulders closer to him, she relaxed into his touch but she still wondered about Priya; the unfortunate girl was so similar in circumstance to her, she had no one...except Neev. That thought both made her proud but unnerved her also, there was something in Priya's eyes when she looked at Neev that Ayesha didn't like, what was it? Admiration or something Ayesha didn't want to think about...something much worse. Ayesha had lots of questions about Priya but she wondered how she would ask Neev, she didn't want to sound insecure but it would plague her mind unless she found out.

She still wasn't sure how they had met, decided to go into partnership together or pretty much anything, but those were questions for later. They entered the house and Ayesha made a beeline for the kitchen area, their celebration called for something sweet. Champagne was fine but Ayesha was not used to such customs and this is how they celebrated here.

Neev followed her inside and as she assembled the articles to make halwa, his eyes brightened up and then an idea struck him. He stood beside Ayesha and gazed down at her rather intently; it did not go unnoticed and Ayesha threw him a long sideways glance, 'Mereko aise mat dekho Neev... (Neev...don't look at me like that...)' she said with unexpected shyness. 'Kya kar rahi ho? (What are you doing?)' He asked, though knowing full well what it was, 'Halwa bana rahi hoon Neev...tum jaante ho...(I'm making halwa...you can see for yourself...)' she replied. 'Main kuch kahoon? (Can I say something?)' Neev requested sweetly, 'Khabhi rok saki hoon? (Have I ever been able to stop you?)' Ayesha said softly back, smiling a little as Neev pretended to be hurt, 'Jaldi bata Neev... (Tell me quickly Neev...)'

'Aaj halwa main banaoonga... (I'm going to make the halwa today...)' He offered gallantly, 'Lekin tujhe halwa banana nahi aata Neev... (But you don't know how to Neev...)'Ayesha said, straight faced. Neev moved behind her and put his arms through hers and wiggled his fingers, 'Tum sikao gi mujhe... (You'll teach me...)'he stated. Ayesha turned her face to him in question and then with an audible sigh, he placed his hands under hers. Neev rest his face in the crook of her neck and watched as Ayesha guided his hands with hers to pick up a spoon and drop ghee into a pan and then stir in the semolina. Soon he became distracted by the long process and pressed his mouth against Ayesha's skin and nipped gently, 'Neev...' she chided distractedly, 'Tera pehla halwa jal jaayega... (You're first halwa is going to get burnt)' she warned and Neev turned his attention back to it.

Once the halwa had finished cooking, Neev insisting on taking it out in a bowl himself and found a spoon to feed Ayesha it with. 'Neev....main kaa loongi khud... (I'll eat it myself...)' She shook her head at his childishness but he was adamant, 'Uh uh...batao...kaisa bana hain... (No...Tell me...how is it?)'

Ayesha tasted a bit and then smiled, 'Accha bana hain Neev... (It's good...)' she said, it was in fact really good. Neev smiled indulgently, 'Maine banaya hain...accha tou hoga... (Of course it would be...I made it...)' and Ayesha couldn't help but laugh at that, 'Tune banaya? (You made it?)' she asked and Neev nodded happily, 'Neev...' Ayesha said, taking the bowl from Neev's hands and taking a piece of halwa, she held it to his lips, 'Tujhe zindagi mein jo tum kaho woh sab mile...(I wish you get everything you want from life...)' she finished and fed Neev the halwa. He held her hand telling her, 'Tum saath ho...isse zyada tou bauhat kuch nahin chahiye...khabhi khabhi tum muskuraya karo, bas...accha, tumhari baton mein mera halwa thanda ho raha hain... (I have you...I want for little else...just make sure you smile once in a while and what more can I want...now you've made my halwa go cold with your chatter...)' he opened his mouth wide for her and she fed him again. How could Ayesha not smile at that? She did and very brightly too and when Neev asked her if she was happy, she replied with much honesty that she was.

Final Part III

That was them the happiest they had ever been, together and apart but things were different now. Neev worked long hours and sometimes even fell asleep at the office, Ayesha hated that. The first time Ayesha had been scared senseless, wondering where he was and eventually she found him, hunched over some files at his desk, dozing and warned him, if he ever did it again, she'd not speak to him but it occurred still and she would have to go and get him. He was working far too hard and she tried to explain that she didn't need much from him but he was a man possessed and he slogged away, trying to make his mark.

Ayesha still wasn't sure what to make of Priya, the thought of Priya being constantly with Neev everyday nagged her. She was a beautiful girl and nice too and that was what made Ayesha dislike her even more, that she had given Ayesha no reason to hate her. But what could she say to Neev, not to work with Priya? That she made her nervous and anxious and worried? Not that Neev ever gave her any reason to be, when he wasn't at work he was with her but still, she was getting a bad feeling and she hated the paranoia and insecurity; she was scared to going back to before, and she didn't want to. At night, she slept closer to Neev, wrapping her arm around his chest possessively and revelling in the feeling, when in his semi-conscience state; he would play with her hair or run his fingers gently up her arms.

Neev continued blissfully unaware of any feelings Ayesha had against Priya and he wanted to include her in the family that he and Ayesha had created because she had none of her own but the time was never right, they were always working and he never got the opportunity. Priya was a good friend and he was grateful to have found this friendship and wanted Ayesha to be part of it too. His relationship with Ayesha just grew day by day; they fit so easily, all they had to do was try. He knew she hated it when he over exerted himself but if he was honest, he loved the way she would pull at his shirt, push him to his feet and wake him up.

One night, things were set to change once again for Neev and Ayesha; neither could have predicted it or prevented it. It changed the course of their lives and left a deep mark on both of them. There was a raging storm that night and the first effects of it were felt by Priya. The streets were deserted as she left the office and there was a light drizzle. She should have asked Neev to walk with her but he was working and she didn't want to bother him.

She walked down the street to catch a rikshaw or something but to her right, she saw a group of guys sitting leisurely on a bench under a closed dhabha stand, from the bottles in their hands, she could tell they were drinking too. Priya bowed her head and walked without making as much noise as possible, she didn't want to draw any attention to herself. She heard a low whistle but ignored it and picked up her pace. Turning quickly into a side street to take a different route, she relaxed a bit and continued to try down the road. She wished that there were more people on the streets but she knew the rain had forced them indoors. She wasn't along for long however and soon she felt a distinct rustling of clothes and crunching of feet behind her but when she looked, she found no one and hurried on. With each step she felt certain that someone was behind her, a chill ran up her spine at the thought and she almost ran now but the assailant was quick and Priya screamed loudly as she felt him grip her shoulder. Priya quickly took off her bag and threw it at him, backing away but he didn't seem interested in the purse, he wanted her.

He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her towards him, then roughly pushed to the ground, she tried her best to crawl away from him. He crashed down her with such force that the breath withdrew itself from her body. She struggled beneath him; he pushed his face in hers, his breath reeking of alcohol. She didn't know who it was and why this was happening to her but she continued to struggle under his hold and with as much force as she could muster she pushed her knee upwards and kneed his groin. He writhed in pain and for a moment was caught off guard and Priya; pushing him off her, inched quickly away from him, scrambling to her feet and running as fast as she could manage back to the office. She was soaking wet and trembling from the shock of her attack as she banged on the door, again and again.

Neev had listened to the steady patter of the rain gain momentum outside and considered getting home soon; if he didn't Ayesha would come to find him and he didn't want her out in the rain if it was getting this bad. He wished he had taken Priya home too and gave her cell phone a quick ring to see whether she had gotten home but she didn't pick up. He briefly wondered why but then the sudden banging on the office door startled him and he rushed to it. Yanking it open he found a terrified Priya tumble into his arms and pull herself against him, gasping; he held her up and quickly closed the door. 'Kya hua Priya? (What happened Priya...)' he asked panicked by her appearance, 'Kya hua? (What happened?)' He asked again, louder this time but she didn't reply instead she continued to shake as dry heaves escaped her.

Priya dug deeper into Neev's embrace and finally gave way to tears, she cried harder as Neev held her closer. He whispered in placating tones but she seemed inconsolable and he was left with no choice but let her calm down on her own. But she didn't and for what seemed like hours, they stood together, pressed against each other. Priya had stopped crying now but she was still shaking and Neev grew worried. He pulled back but Priya leaned forward, unwilling to leave the comfort of his body. Neev smiled at her however and held her face gently in her hands, 'Priya?' he asked once more but she shook her head and looked on the verge of tears so Neev sighed and pulled her to him again. She would tell him when she was ready.

Unbeknown to either Neev or Priya, there stood a figure outside the door looking in at them. There was nothing intimate in the way Neev held Priya but they weren't to know, all that registered that Neev was holding Priya and holding her extremely close to him. It was Ayesha, stunned motionless as every rational thought left her mind. What was happening? Her mind was spinning and she felt sick to her stomach; feeling as though she would throw up, she turned on her heel and rushed out towards the street. She retched, holding her stomach but nothing came and her chest ached from the effort and she clutched her heart against the pain. She was now standing under the rain, shivering and letting her tears flows. She had been stupid; stupid enough to think that her fate would be any different. No, it was different, Neev loved her, he did love her but the thought made her cry even more. Did he really though? What was he doing today then? Question upon question raced through her mind and spilt it in every direction making her feel as though she were having an out of body experience. Slowly, unaware of the rain beating down against her skin, she walked back home.

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Once Priya composed herself she told Neev what had happened and he now understood why she had been so frightened and unwilling to let go of him. He felt anger course through him but what could be done, Priya refused to let him go see if they were still out there but he still felt as though he could have prevented it, gone with her, something. Neev knew that he couldn't let her stay alone tonight and forced her to come with him despite Priya's reluctance, what would Ayesha think?

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When Neev and Priya did get home, it was eerily quiet and dark, somewhat unexpected as Ayesha rarely slept without him but perhaps today was one of those rare days. Neev guided Priya inside and closed the door; Priya looked uncertainly about her, she was kind of glad that Ayesha was asleep, she didn't know how they would explain this and she was certainly not up to talking about it again. In a way, she was also glad she had come with Neev, she was still reeling from the aftermath and it just felt safer being here with him, with anyone than her empty little house.

Ayesha wasn't sleeping however and Neev found her in the corner of their room, feeling increasingly panicked as Ayesha looked up at him with blood shot eyes. He crouched besides her and she started to cry, 'Neev...' she hiccupped and Neev pulled her into an embrace, 'Shhhhhh...Ayesha...main hoon (I'm here...)' he kissed her hair, smoothing it down. Neev pressed her to him and felt her heart thud rapidly against his chest, what was going on today? She was mumbling something incoherent and Neev strained to listen but suddenly she stopped as though she heard something and she looked up into the next room. Wiping her face, she stood up and walked into the other room to investigate the offending noise.

Ayesha stopped dead seeing Priya in their house as though the wind had been knocked out of her and she turned her accusing eye at Neev but he stared back unsure why she was acting like this. Priya tried to smile at her but it seemed to infuriate Ayesha and Priya didn't know what she had done. As if unable being in the same room as Priya would stifle her, she turned and went back into her room quickly, grabbing the foot of their bed for support.

'Yeh sab kya hain? (What's all this?)' Neev's voice came from behind her; he gently closed the door behind him, and came to her, placing a hand on her shoulder, he tried to pull her close. Ayesha shrugged the hand away and refused to face him, 'Woh yahan kya kar rahi hain? (What is she doing here?)' She asked him in a strained whisper, 'Priya?' 'Haan Priya...aur kaun... (Yes Priya...who else?!)'Ayesha's replied cuttingly, 'Dhere se bolo Ayesha...woh sun legi...aaj raat woh yahi rahegi... (Speak quietly Ayesha...she'll hear us...)'Neev told her evenly but she didn't let him finish, 'Kyun leke aaye use yahan Neev? (Why did you bring her here?)' She demanded, 'Usse kahan ke jaye... (Tell her to go!)'

Neev stood aghast, listening to Ayesha's words in surprise. He knew that Ayesha and Priya never really had a chance to bond like Prachi and Ayesha had but this was ridiculous, 'Ayesha...tum baat tou suno... (Ayesha...just try to listen...)' he tried to explain but once again Ayesha cut him off. Placing her hand to her temple she said, 'Mujhe kuch nahin suna Neev, kuch nahin suna mujhe...woh yahan nahin reh sakti bas... (I don't want to listen to anything Neev...nothing...she can't stay here...that's it!)'She almost shouted and Neev was beginning to grow exasperated but before he could say anything, he heard the front door unlock and open. 'Priya...' Neev yelled, 'Ruko... (wait!)' but she was already out of the door. Neev shook his head at Ayesha and followed Priya. He didn't know what had gotten into Ayesha and he didn't have time to explain but he knew that tonight his friend needed him and he needed to be with her.

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Ayesha had watched horrified as Neev walked out of the door and she almost, almost ran behind him. 'Neev...' she had called but he didn't come back. That night was the longest in her life; wondering when Neev would return, whether he would at all. What had suddenly happened to her life, had it not been so perfect with Neev up until now? This girl had ruined everything and now Neev was gone.

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Priya didn't want Neev to drop her home or stay with her but he wouldn't listen and she worried about what Ayesha would think. Why didn't Ayesha like her? She still couldn't understand that; from the titbits of conversation she had overheard, she got the distinct feeling that Ayesha really didn't like her. But when she tried to exit quickly and quietly, Neev had heard her.

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When Neev did return from Priya's, it was roughly around 5 am the next day. He waited until she fell asleep and then went back home to deal with his own problems. There was something wrong and he didn't know what or how to fix it. He needed Ayesha to speak to him, to tell him what that was.

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'Wapas hi kyun aaye Neev... (Why did you come back at all Neev?)' Ayesha said cruelly as Neev entered and he just couldn't do it, to face this now, to argue. 'Look, I'm sorry...' He said, it was a start at least, he shouldn't have left her alone either but she shook her head, 'Bauhat der ho gayi Neev... (It's too late Neev...)' she whispered and then walked into her room, closing the door on him.

OH MY GOD..WOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!
rimaa sachi..u do some kind of magical thing to all ur FF'S!
haaaai bohuth hi sona part si!😉
love all 4 characters..michi a bit more..hhehehe☺️☺️
its so funny the last part for some reason reminded me of Fanaa..wierd thing is im watching fanaa right now!😆
Rimaa jaani..this was toooooo GOOD!
KEEP UPDATING..ab toh tere exams bhi khatam..ur gunna hear so much of this "update jaldi" from me..tera peechha nain chhodon gi main😆
Love u sweety❤️
jessu<3

p.s. oh and paneeer ew!😆

Final Part IV

The days that passed were agonising for both Neev and Ayesha. Neev at least could divert his attention to his project but Ayesha spent her days thinking about them and why she had to remain stronger than ever, because she never wanted to be her mother. Neev had already started working longer and even on weekends and he was forced to by each painful moment that passed in that house and between them. Neev had wondered what had gone wrong, he had done everything right, and he thought it would be better but everything seemed to have regressed and they were worse than ever. Even being in the same room as her made him angry and yet he refused to leave, he couldn't; he was in a marriage and he wanted it to work but he had tried the first time and now he wanted her to do something, show that she still wanted him in her life, that she even loved him and each day he hoped that she would but she didn't. She never spoke and it infuriated him, drove him insane but it was up to her now, he had put himself out there, again and again but no more, he couldn't do it.


God only knew that Ayesha wanted to; she wanted to scream at Neev, to tell him that she loved him and that she wanted him to love only her back. Every fibre in her being wanted to cling to Neev and stop him, stop him from going away but only pride stopped her. If he was going to leave her, she should have the courage to deal with. Ayesha had already fallen so deep, she knew that it would destroy her if she remained with him, the jealousy, the insecurity and distrust but if she wasn't with him, how would she survive. She had been so involved in herself that she couldn't even see that Neev didn't want to leave her but she was sabotaging herself, she was pushing him further and further away from her.

Even if he left, Neev didn't know where to go, he could never go back to the house he had left behind or the parents that had refused to accept his marriage nor had he kept in contact with any of his friends. He had Prachi and Premlata but how could he impose on them. They were handling their own grief and Neev felt a pang of guilt for not having recently check up on them either, he had been so caught up in his own life. Inder had left them everything but the company was quickly divided amongst the share holders and Neev was unable to do anything.

Ayesha could feel that Neev's patience was about to break, that he would erupt yet again and this time she wouldn't stop him, she just couldn't. The opportunity came not long after her resolution; though she hardly knew what to make of it. It seemed that destiny was hell bent of tangling her life up further than it already had with Neev's. She felt the pangs of nausea rise in her throat as she gripped the sink tightly under her hands and she knew then, she prayed it wasn't true but it was. She was pregnant.

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"Pagal mat bano Ayesha! (Don't act insane Ayesha)" Sukriti scolded standing up and stretching out her hands, trying to grasp Ayesha, "Tum jaanti bhi tum kya ke rahi ho? Ayesha, socha...ek bacha pal raha hain tumhare undar...tumhe kuch eshaas nahin hota? (Do you know what you're saying?...There's a baby growing inside of you...don't you feel anything?)"


"Nahin hota kuch mereko Sukriti!...Sirf darr mesoos hota hain...(No I don't...I don't feel anything...I'm scarred...)" Ayesha said, pressing Sukriti's hand in emphasis, "Ek aur Ayesha ko kaise janam du? Ek aur masoom ka bachpan kaise cheen lu...usse apni pechaan kaise le lu? Mujhe aapne aap se darr lagta hain Sukriti...(How can I give birth to someone that will be destiny to become like me? Whose childhood will be snatched away, whose identity will be taken away? I'm scared of myself Sukriti...)" Sukriti stood dumbfounded, trying desperately to fathom, how Ayesha could come to such a conclusion and what had happened to the Ayesha she once knew, "Ayesha!" Sukriti shook her, "Tum kaisi baatein kar rahin ho? Tumhare bache ke saath yeh kaise ho sakta hai? Tum samajti kyun nahin ,Yeh kaise zidh hain?! Tumne Neev ke bare mein bhi nahin socha... (What are you talking about? How can you do that to an innocent child? Why don't you understand? What kind of stubbornness is this? Have you thought about Neev...)"


"Nahin hoga merese Sukriti... (I can't do it Sukriti...I can't...) "Ayesha shook her head vehemently, "Kab thak rahega woh?! Alekhe kaise sambhalungi mein ek bache ko? Mereko yeh bacha nahin chahiye...Sukriti mereko laga ke tu tou mujhe samjegi, tune tou dekha haina mera bachpan, meri zindagi... (How long will Neev be around? How will I be able to raise it on my own? I don't want this child...I thought you would understand...you've seen my childhood, my life...)" Ayesha trailed off gasping; she turned to find Neev standing in front of her, his eyes flashing violently and his chest heaving with suppressed rage. He had only caught the end of the sentence but it was enough for him. "Kya samjegi woh? (What will she understand?)" He shouted at Ayesha, "Neev..." Sukriti said, turning to the sound of his voice but even without a word, she sensed his hand rise and stop her, "Sukriti bahar jao... (Sukriti go outside...)" he demanded. She wanted to say something to Ayesha then but she couldn't and Ayesha would not have heard, she stood frozen; looking down at the ground, wishing it could swallow her up. She had never intended for Neev to find out but he had and now she had to face the consequences.


Neev yanked her head up, forcefully pulling her face up to look at him, she expected him to shout some more, it would be understandable and she would bear it all but he didn't, instead he looked her in the eye and said, "Kya galti hui hain mujhse? (What did I do wrong?)" so softly that she almost didn't hear. "Bacha nahin chahiye...mera bacha... (You don't want the baby...you don't want the baby? My child...)" Neev said, mostly to himself, and then again to her, "Bachna nahin chahiye?! (You don't want the baby?!)" His voice raised an octave then and he looked at her with such accusation and hurt that Ayesha wondered whether saving herself from pain was worth putting Neev through such agony now. His eyes were almost swimming but the anger still shone through them, "Kya tum mujhe batati bhi? (Were you even going to tell me?)" He asked and Ayesha looked down, scared he would see the shame in her eyes but he continued wildly, "Kya socha tha maine...ke khabhi tou tum samjogi...khabhi apni zidh chodogi...yeh pagaalpan chodogi...lekin tumne tou sab kuch katam kar diya...barbaad kar diya mujhe...main kis patar ke liye intazaar karta raha? (The things I had thought...that you would understand me some day...you'd stop this stubbornness, this insanity but you've finished everything today, ruin everything...what kind of stone hearted person have I been waiting for? )" Neev could barely look at her and neither did Ayesha look at him, she remained as silent as ever. 'Main apni zindagi yeh umeed mein guzharu ke tum mujhe pyaar ke kuch thukde penkho gi?...uske badle, tum mujhse yeh cheen logi?...Yeh kya hain...kya hain hamare beech...tumne khabhi mujhse pyaar bhi kiya tha? Ya sirf bardhaast kar rahi thi? Main sab kuch seh sakta hoon, lekin aaj...tumhare mann mein yeh khayal bhi kaise aaya? Tumhe dekh ke bhi ghin aati hain mujhe... (Do you want me to wait my whole life hoping that you would throw me some crumbs of your affection? Is this the price I'd have to pay for it? What is this that we have between us? Did you even love me or were you merely tolerating me...I could have born everything but today...that you could even entertain such a thought...I can't even look at you...)'


There was a dull thread in Ayesha's head from Neev's words but soon she barely registered what he was saying, shutting herself off helped. She liked the numbness because it stopped the pain and only when she heard the door slam loudly, did she fall to the ground in a heap. She knew then that he would never return. The insecurities, the pride, the fear was killing their relationship, if they had one at all. Love was not enough when the head overruled the heart and it was suffocating them both. It had only been a matter of time that this was going to happen but Ayesha had never expected under such circumstances. She lay on the hard, cold ground and let the coolness sooth the fire in her heart. Her hands instinctively fell to her stomach and she hugged herself there, allowing herself to finally cry. He was gone and pretty soon, the baby would be too.

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Neev took a long glug of his drink, he wasn't much of a drinker and he winced every time he held the glass to his lips. He needed it however, he didn't know how else to stop himself from hurting, it was a pain he had never experience before. It was the realisation that he was completely helpless that made him angry and the angrier he got, the more he wanted to drink. There were a few short moments in which guilt would assail him concerning Ayesha but she, she was having his child, he should be there with her now, trying to talk her out of it but she clearly give a damn about what he wanted, then what was the point of trying?

Throwing his back against his chair, he let his drink slip from his hand and he dropped his half full glass the floor, spilling all of it. His mind was spinning and he felt himself sink lower and lower into the chair but there was someone standing in front of him now, trying to prop him up. He squinted but he couldn't focus and for a moment he thought it was Ayesha but how could it be; in any case he pushed them away.

He should have known, they were both just fooling themselves; Ayesha never loved him and she could never love their child. He'd known that all along, she had even told him that their paths were not the same and yet they crossed again and again and he'd felt the need to dig and find her guarded heart. But there was nothing there; how could there be when she wanted to kill his child.

Neev angrily kicked the glass he had thrown on the floor and tried to get up off the chair but he tripped and fell to the floor. He felt someone pull him up and he held the bar for support. What had become of him? He wondered drunkenly, he didn't even know who he was anymore, what had she done to him? He knew, deep down he knew, that he should have seen it coming. She had been pushing him away inch by inch before and now this was the final push. But Neev had continued blindly, not wanting to face what was difficult. He should have resolved the Priya matter ages ago but it was too late and she would never be able to understand. It was over, it was all over. He had everything in his hands just a while ago and now everything was lost. Even if she somehow decided to take it all back, that she'd made a mistake, things couldn't go back to how they were.

Neev walked in his stupor towards the door, if that was where he was headed and suddenly he felt a sharp pain in his chest. Amongst the anger and the pity, he felt something else, something like desperation, making his eyes tear and his heart hurt. He had never felt so desperate, so much in pain for the love of a woman. He wanted to hate her, he did hate her, he did! He told himself and continued on his journey. Stumbling and wiping his face with the little energy he had left, he pushed through the door and felt release. The cold air hit his face and he felt as though he could breathe again but things would never be the same.

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It was late and Neev was still feeling the effects of the alcohol from earlier as he stood in the street. He knocked quietly on the door and waited for a response, propping himself up against the wall.

'Neev...' Priya said opening the door and finding him there, 'Yeh kya haal bana rakha hain... (What have you done to yourself?)' she asked, taking in his dishevelled appearance and smelling alcohol on his breath.

Neev didn't speak but instead stood up straight and walked into through the door. Priya took a moment to see if anyone else was outside and then slowly closed the door.

I'd like to thank JC for making this wonderful Mix for me and bugging me till it was perfect! She's probably the most dedicated Mixer I've seen and I have the PMs to prove it! Thanks so much JC..

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv8ZnPRXHbA[/YOUTUBE]

I appreciate it so much! and I hope that You guys give it a watch!

Final Part V

Five Years Later...
"Arjun! Ruk!! Barish ho rahi hain, bimaar pad jaega... (Arjun…wait!! It's raining…you'll get sick…)"Ayesha shouted after the scampering tot. "Arjun!" she called one more time but it was to no avail, he had ceased listening to her and ran towards the door, half clothed. The child didn't get far however, he was met with the resistance of his father's leg who scooped him up quickly and handed him to Ayesha, who took him back rather solemnly.


"Pappa..." Arjun said, reaching over Ayesha's back to get to Neev. Ayesha's brow knitted in slight annoyance; Neev spoilt Arjun and then it was up to her to discipline him; she wondered if her son loved his father more than her. Perhaps he would, if only he had known that years ago, he might not even have been born.

Ayesha could still remember the day at the clinic; she lay on the blue cushioned table, staring up at a bright yellow light, waiting for the doctor. She was alone and she was frightened but in her mind, she was doing the right thing. She was strong, even as the doctor moved the ball around her stomach, she looked away from the monitor screen but how could she have stopped herself from hearing the tiny heartbeat. It wasn't faint but loud and clear; it was the unmistakable sound of life and Ayesha knew she couldn't kill it. To never hear that distinct, unique heartbeat again was an unbearable thought. She wasn't her mother, if she didn't want another Ayesha to be born, then she would make sure that she was a mother to it and not a lifeless body, waiting for somebody that was never going to return.

"Chalte hain Champ! Tum tou meri bighair hi bhahar jaane waale the... (We'll go champ! You were ready to leave without me huh…)" Neev said gently laughing and ruffling Arjun's hair; bringing Ayesha out of her thoughts as she continued dressing her son. Ayesha was amazed at how Arjun hung onto Neev's every word and quietly let her dress him. "Baitona Neev...(Sit Neev…)" Ayesha said finally, though somewhat stiffly, even after five years, it was painful to see him and even talk to him but sharing custody of Arjun meant that they had to, nearly every day.

"Nahin (No…)" he shook his head, "Bas Arjun ko lene aaya tha...shaam ko drop kar doonga... (I just came to pick Arjun up…I'll drop him back later…)" He replied curtly and picking Arjun up in one swift movement, he exited, leaving Ayesha in the empty chawl house.

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In the darkness of her house, she sat alone, waiting for Neev and Arjun to return, it was a Friday, so she wasn't worried about school but it was surprisingly late and she wondered what had taken them so long. She thought about the cruel twist of fate and how her life had turned out, nothing like she planned.

She had tried so hard to separate her life form Neev's but now they were linked together forever, she was calmer now, she had Arjun but the attachment she had previous had to Neev was now solely Arjun's and she fear that he would be snatched away from her too. Neev had understood up until now but she feared for the one day Neev would come and take Arjun away. She sometimes wished that she and Arjun could have gone away; she wouldn't have that constant terror of separation from her child.

She would have gone, far away but Neev had caught her, he knew the moment he saw her that she didn't do it. He burgeoning belly proof that she didn't harm their child, that it was getting a chance to live. He had stared at her a long while across the street and she at him too. He had grown so thin and the eyes were lifeless and when Ayesha saw his tears, flowing freely despite the people around them, she knew that for once, she had done something right. Neev did not stop that day, but instead stepped quickly back into his car and drove away. He had a car now, several in fact, the months they had separated, he had only worked and worked, busying himself, trying to distract himself from any thoughts of her and now he was where he had wanted to be but he was alone and it bought him no joy when his company rose from its modest beginning, no satisfaction as he drove his new car, nothing.

He did return that night, to a house he thought he would never see again and to the woman he never wanted to see again. He hadn't even come back to take his stuff; it was packed neatly in the corner of the room and Ayesha saw as his eyes fall on them, there was a slight change in his expression, but she didn't know what it was. Sorrow? Resentment? Regret? Whatever it was, she shouldn't be concerned with it now but still it gnawed at her heart, the thought of Neev being so close to her but that he would never again be her's, she had made sure of that.

"Kyun aaye ho Neev? (Why have you come Neev?)" She asked, turning her face away, she didn't know why but if there was any sign of weakness on there, she didn't want it to show.

"Kyun aaya hoon main? (Why have I come?)" He repeated bitterly, "Yeh bhi batana padega? (Do I have to spell it out for you…)" he barked and Ayesha felt herself shrink away. He had never spoken to her like that, perhaps only once before and she didn't like it. It didn't suit him to be like, to be angry and so harsh.

"Ab hamare beech..(Between us…)" Ayesha started, "Kuch nahin rahan (There's nothing left…)" Neev finished, "Main jaanta hoon (I know…)…Lekin tumhare kaunk mein mera bacha pal raha hain aur mujhe pata nahin chalta?… (But that's my child in your womb…did you think I would never find out?)" he grasped her shoulders and finally turned her to face him. He was tired of talking to a wall; he needed her to respond today. But Ayesha grit her teeth and didn't speak, what would he expect now?

Neev's expression softened somewhat, Ayesha looked quite frightened; he could tell she was trying to hide it but she was. Her jaw protruded out and she was gritting her teeth hard, he'd seen her do that. He hated it when she looked vulnerable, it made him weak and he couldn't be, he needed to make sure that he was going to be part of his baby's life, even if he could no longer be a part of Ayesha's.

Neev and Ayesha fought hard that day, Neev wasn't going to let Ayesha have her way over this and when he did leave, it was agreed they had equal rights over the child but Ayesha insisted that the baby would stay with her. Neev did not intend to separate a baby from its mother but he thought long about that. Ayesha was self destructive and how could he be sure that his baby would be safe.

Suddenly the shrill sound of the phone ringing pierced the silence in the room and shook Ayesha. Her thoughts about that day vanished completely from her mind as a new thought entered it. Even without picking up, she could almost sense that the news was bad, something had happened.

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Ayesha ran through the hospital corridors until she spotted Neev standing in front of her. Her hair was matted to her face from the rain and her clothes stuck to her like second skin but she didn't care. Neev was taken aback by how white her face had become and how terrified her eyes looked; he wondered whether it was the same woman who had once not even wanted this child, the same woman, he wasn't sure would be a good mother.

"Kya hua Neev?! Arjun kahan hain… (What happened Neev…where's Arjun?)"Ayesha asked breathlessly, grabbing Neev's arm and pressing her fingers down tightly on it. Neev looked uncertainly down at her hand but he knew how she was feeling; when the car veered towards Arjun and hit him, it was as though everything moved in slow motion and for a moment, Neev felt as though all the wind had been knocked out of him instead. He cursed himself for letting go of Arjun's hand; he should have known better, his son was not patient.

Ayesha continued to press on his arm and look up at him expecting an answer but Neev just placed a hand over hers; he had to be the calm one now, he had already been through the frantic phase first but Priya had helped him explained that the doctors were doing all they could. "Doctors uske paas hain Ayesha…(The doctors are with him…)" Neev said, "Mujhe pata nahin gaadi kahan se aayi…(I don't know where that car came from…)" he attempted to explain but Ayesha put up her hand, "Neev…iss waqt mujhe kuch nahin suna…bas mujhe uske paas le jao…(Neev…I don't want to listen to anything right now!...just take me to my son…)" she pleaded but he told her that they were not yet allowed to see him.

Ayesha pressed her lips firmly together and they were even whiter than her face now and from the deep breaths she took, Neev knew that Ayesha was holding back her tears. He felt a twinge of annoyance then, why did she never let her feelings show? Her son was in the hospital for god's sake but still he held her cold, shaking hand in his and squeezed reassuringly, he was mildly surprised that she let him.

Just then Priya emerged from around the corner and Ayesha's face contorted in anger, what was she doing here? These years she had fought against that idea but Neev and Priya did live together, she knew that much and Ayesha had tried digesting that fact for long now, it still didn't sit well with her but it was Neev's life now, he could do what he wished with it. She didn't like the thought of this other woman around her son; what if he had liked her better than his mother too but how could she stop it, how could she possibly keep Neev from doing what he wanted with his son.

Ayesha let go of Neev's hand and walked towards the closed door, behind which her son lay on a hospital bed. She placed her head on it and waited; she could feel the quizzical stares of Neev and Priya on her back but she ignored it. What had happened? How could Neev be so irresponsible but she couldn't direct her anger at him now, she had to think about Arjun.

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"Arjun!" Ayesha pushed through the doors into the room and ran to her son on the bed, followed by Neev and Priya. Arjun was still unconscious and wrapped heavily in bandages; Ayesha threw Neev a look of accusation but quickly turned back to Arjun and kissed his forehead.

The doctor explained that Arjun was going to be fine, he had broken his left ankle and arm and he had hurt his head but there was no danger of severe internal bleeding and he should be up in a few hours. The silent sob that escaped Ayesha didn't go unnoticed by Neev and he hated the tiny part of himself that felt moved by that. He turned his attention to Arjun and thanked god that nothing had happened to him.

Priya shifted uncomfortably by the door, she too was glad that Arjun would be fine but she felt out of place; especially when Ayesha was there. The look in Ayesha's eyes made her shrink when she looked at her and though she was here for Neev, she could tell that he'd rather be alone. It was all too much, the unspoken anger, the tension. Just then Neev turned and smiled at her and she understood, smiling back, she made a hand gesture, mouthing call me and left.

Once the doctor had assessed Arjun's condition, Ayesha and Neev were left with their son; alone. The doctor had just closed the door when Ayesha jumped to her feet and rounded up on Neev, "Agar khayal nahin rak sakte, tou leh jaate kyun ho? (If you can take care of him, don't take him with you...)" Ayesha accused Neev. He stared at her for a moment and then as if intent on infuriating her said, "Ayesha...mujhse jagda karne se woh jaldi theek ho jayega? Takleef mujhe bhi ho rahi hain...galti ho gayi Ayesha, tum kya sochti ho...mujhe mere bache ko aise dekh ke kuch nahin hota? Main wahan tha Ayesha...maine aapne aankhoon se sab dekha tha... (Ayesha...do you think that by fighting with me, he'll get better quickly? I don't like seeing him like this as much as you but I made a mistake...what did you think? That I don't feel...I was there! I saw it happen...)"

"Neev tum... (You...)" Ayesha stuttered but they were interrupted by a hoarse voice coming from the hospital bed, "Pappa..."Arjun croaked and then winced. Both his parents rushed to his side and caught him as he tried to get up. "Zara bhi deraaj nahin hain! (You have no patience at all...)" Neev laughed, mock punching Arjun's cheek and trying to tickle him. Ayesha clucked in annoyance and muttered, "Sab kuch mazak hi lagta hain Neev... (Everything's a joke Neev...)" Immediately Neev's face darkened and he almost said to himself, " Mazak tou mein khud ban kaya hoon...(I've become a joke myself...)" and then laughed loudly as Arjun tried to pull his bandages off himself and Ayesha tried to stop him, "Champ...stop that..." Neev commanded and Arjun stopped at once"...accha batao...kaisa lag raha hain? (How are you feeling?)" He asked his son and Arjun bit his lip in concentration and then looked at Neev and motioned him closer. He whispered something in his father's ear and Neev smiled again, ruffling his hair and stroking his cheek fondly.

Ayesha watched the two of them, wanting to know what had passed between them. They sometimes did that, spoke in English amongst themselves; Arjun was a child but she resented Neev for that. As if he was keeping her from something. Neev had insisted that Arjun go to the best school, he could afford it but Ayesha was unsure how a child from the chawl would be received there. She knew Arjun was a good child, he had a presence and he had immediately made friends there to her surprise; somewhat like Neev she guessed, if he had taken after her, things would have been very different she noted sadly.

"Aayi ko nahin kaho ge Arjun? (Won't you tell your mother Arjun?)" Ayesha asked softly; sitting beside him and holding his hand. Arjun shook his head and smiled naughtily at his mother and then winced again, "Dard ho rahan hain? (Are you hurting?)" Ayesha asked quickly, getting up and looking towards Neev, "Doctor ko bulao Neev... (Call the doctor Neev...)" she said anxiously.

"Aayi, Arjun doesn't want the doctor!" Arjun said fearfully and Ayesha scolded him, "Kitni baar kahan tujhe maine, angreezi mein mat bol merese...aur tum gaye nahin Neev... (How many times have I told you...don't speak in English to me...and haven't you gone yet Neev...)"

"Dard tou hoga... (Ayesha it's bound to hurt...)" he replied, "And don't worry champ...you're going to be fine...we won't call the doctor." He added to Arjun, who looked satisfied and lay back against the bed and stared around the room. Neev could see that he was going to grow bored very soon; he wished they could take him home but the doctor wanted to keep him at least for the night, perhaps he should let Ayesha know that he intended to stay tonight.

Calling Ayesha to the corner of the room, and spoke quietly, "Woh mujhe ke raha tha...ke aayi ko mat batana lekin bauhat dard hota hain...usse doctor se darr lagta hain...aur woh jaanta hain tumhe (He was telling me...that don't tell you that it hurts a lot...he's scared of doctors and he apparently knows what you're like...)" he relayed the information without any humour though he had initially smiled at his son, "Aur...aaj raat ko main uske paas rehna chahata hoon...(And tonight...I want to stay with Arjun...)" he informed her but she shook her head, "Neev...main kahin nahin jaoungi... (I'm not going anywhere...)" she said affronted, crossing her arms.

"Pappa Arjun ko bhi secret jaana hain... (I want to know the secret too pappa..)" Arjun called, sure enough as Neev expected, "Batata hoon...agar tum jaldi se apni dawai pee lou tou...(I will tell you...if you quickly drink your medicine...)" he said to his son and stood beside him as he drank the bitter medicine. That was when Ayesha knew that she needed Neev to be there too, Arjun needed him there tonight, she should let him stay.

Part VI

Much later that evening, almost the next day both Ayesha and Neev, fully awake, were keeping watch over their son. They were silent but the room occasionally echoed with Arjun's tiny snores, Neev snorted the first time they heard it and Ayesha couldn't resist a smile either.

"Champ...tum bhi..." Neev whispered to himself, laughing softly at his son as he continued to snore and from the corner of his eye, he saw Ayesha look towards him and smile too. Her smile soon widened and turned into a yawn she tried to cover with her hand. When Neev looked at her then, he couldn't stop a smile himself and then as he became aware of it, turned it into a frown.

"Ayesha tum chaho tou...ghar ja sakti ho... (Ayesha...if you want, you can go home...)" Neev said suddenly, he knew from experience how uncomfortable this was and there was no real need for both of them to be there anyway. Ayesha was startled by his voice in the quiet of the room and turned to him rather indignantly, "Kyun? Tu barr baar mereko ghar kyun bhej raha hain Neev? Arjun mera bhi beta hain...agar tujhe neend nahin aayti...tou mujhe aayegi kya? (Why?! Why do you keep wanting to send me home? He's my son too...If you can't sleep...then how do you figure I'll be able to?)" She hissed at a rather taken aback Neev.

Neev shook his head knowingly and stood up to leave the room, there was no point in trying to explain, he might as well do something about it. When he returned, he found Ayesha standing by an open window, looking up at the sky. Hesitantly he approached her and held out a cup, taking a sip from his own. Uncertainly, Ayesha accepted the cup but set it down on the ledge, she could smell that Neev was drinking coffee. "Chai hai... (It's tea...)"Neev said, as if sensing her thoughts and when Ayesha looked up at him, he shrugged "Paata nahin kyun yaad rahan... (I don't know why I remembered that)" and from his tone, Ayesha felt as though, Neev wished he hadn't. She wished she had been able to do that, remove all memories of him, all the feelings for him, she thought it would be easy once he was gone but it wasn't that simple, especially since they had Arjun.

A silence ensued after that; both of them just stood there, rather awkwardly beside each other unsure what to do or whether to move but they drank their drinks, prolonging the process for as long as they could. Suddenly Neev spoke, "Jab usse ghar...mera matlab le gaye the yahan se...Khabhie socha bhi nahin tha, ke wapas aana padega... (When we took him home...I mean when we took him from here...I never thought we'd ever be back...)" Neev confessed apologetically, "Ayesha..." he started somewhat uncertainly but she waved him off, stopping him, if he apologised, she wouldn't have the right to be mad at him.

"Yakeen nahin hota chaar saal ho gaye... (I can't believe it's been four years now...)." Neev continued and Ayesha briefly wondered why; he had never felt the inclination to speak about any of this before or indeed speak to her ever, perhaps he was bored or perhaps it was the environment or perhaps, finally it didn't scare him to break the silence, to say what he wanted.

The day Arjun had been born had been both the happiest and most devastating day of her life. As she held Arjun in her arms, she was faced with the disappointing truth she could never have what all the other couples in the ward had. Families and love. Neev had been amazing that day; he had asked Sukriti to call him if anything had happened and sure enough, he had been there within minutes to find her writhing in pain, holding the foot of the bed. "Main theek hoon Neev... (I'm fine Neev...)...main chali jaoungi... (I'm going to the hospital...)" she gasped then, barely able to hide her discomfort. Neev grabbed her by the shoulders and helped her down without a word. He grew anxious with each scream she suppressed, he was terrified lest anything should happen to his baby...or her, but they had gotten through it and the proof was in front of them; their four year old boy.

There was a wistful expression on Ayesha's face as she recalled those moments, making Neev wonder what she was thinking about, especially when he noticed that her eyes were shining brighter than usual and that only meant that they were filling with tears. Neev saw as she looked down and blinked away the tears, keeping them from falling. He forced himself to look away, a little unsure why; so not to embarrass her or not to feel that familiar tightening of his chest when he saw her like this, so sad and vulnerable. He admitted that it had been a while since he had let himself feel something for her but he felt it nonetheless and he cursed himself for it.

"Agar usse kuch ho jaata, tou main tujhe khabhie maaf nahin karti... (If anything had happened to him, I would never have forgiven you...)" Ayesha told him and though Neev looked apologetic, he urged her to understand, "Lekin kuch nahin hua Ayesha...aur bhagwaan ka shukre hain (But nothing did happen and thank god for that...)"

"Agar usse zyaada chot aayi hoti tou? Tu itni laparvai kaise kar sakta hain? (What if he was seriously hurt? How could you have been so irresponsible...)" She countered and Neev let out a groan but quickly suppressed it when Arjun whimpered in his sleep, "Magar kuch nahin hua usse (But he's fine, nothing's happened to him...)" Neev whispered loudly but Ayesha's jaw was set in determination, "Lekin... (But...)" she said but this time Neev interjected, "Lekin kuch nahin...tum samajti kyun nahin, mujhe bhi uski parva hain lekin woh theek ho jayega... (But nothing...why don't you understand...I'm concerned about him too but he's going to be fine...) Aisa lagta hain, agar Arjun ko zyaada chot aati...tou tumhe mujhe usse durr rakhne ka bahana mil jaata...taake mujhe aapni zindagi se durr rak sako, itni nafrat karti ho mujhse? (It feels as though, if he had been more hurt, you would have had the perfect excuse to keep me away from him...to keep me away from your life, do you really hate me that much?)" He spat but instantly regretted the words; Ayesha looked as though she had been slapped, her features contorting in disbelief.

"Aisa sochta hain tu? Kab rouka maine Neev? Kab rouka tujhe Arjun se milne se? Tune jab jab chaha Arjun ko le ke gaye...rehjatiti akeli tou main na...bas intaaar karne ke liye... (Is that what you think? When did I stop you Neev? When did I ever stop you from seeing Arjun? You took him whenever you wanted and I was the one left alone...to wait...)"Ayesha said somewhat pitifully.

Neev shook his head, lamenting what he had said; of course she was bound to be worried and he was making this about him, "Dekho...maine jou kahan... (Look... what I said...)" he began but it seemed that Ayesha was in no mood to hear him out; instead, she seemed to expressing some sort of hurt that she hadn't been able to before, "Aur nafrat? Main karti hoon? Aur uss nafrat ka kya jou mereko teri aakhoon mein nazar aata hain Neev...aur woh bhi tab jab khabhie khabhie tu nazre uthake meri taraf dekhta bhi hain... (I hate you? What about the hatred I see for myself in your eyes...on those rare occasions when you actually look at me...)" she spilled and Neev recoiled at each word.

His hands darted forward and cupped her face and in that motion, she was pulled towards him too, "Nafrat samajti ho tum usko? Nafrat tou honi chahiye lekin afsoos yeh mann manta nahin. Tumhe khabhie kuch sahi dikha hi kab hain, ke main umeed karoon ke tum kuch samaj sako... (You think that's hatred? It should be but...anyway, when have you ever been able to see anything properly that I should expect you to understand it...)" he said so, peering right into her face which was frozen motionless mere inches away from his. In an irrational moment, Neev continued to hold her there and his eyes were instinctively drawn to her lips. They were parted and her warm breath blew across his face; in that moment Neev tried hard but the only thoughts that came to his mind were of how good , how familiar it felt to be like this with her, so close. When she didn't move away, as if almost involuntarily Neev lowered his mouth closer to hers and there was little doubt that he would have kissed her; perhaps just to find out whether that still felt the same, whether she still tasted the same, had Arjun not mumbled in his sleep and forced them to break apart.

Neev moved away quickly but Ayesha turned to him; despite her initial shock, looking at him straight in the eye, "Aisi galti dobara mat karna Neev... (Don't make the same mistake twice...)" she said and though Neev had braced himself for her to say something else but she didn't and he merely shook his head, that sentence could have meant many things and Neev knew full well the connotations of all.

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Neev chose to wait outside that night, in even worse uncomfortable seats. He didn't know what made him react that way earlier; perhaps it was the startling honesty with which she conveyed what she felt, the passion and sadness with which she said it. It made him wonder, though she concluded everything for him, did she ever regret the disintegration of their marriage? Did he, he barely knew how to answer that. Yes, perhaps he did but he also knew that it must have happened for a reason. They were so different, how had they even fallen in love, he wondered, or perhaps because of that they had but nonetheless they were who they were, proud, stubborn and somewhat insecure; Ayesha in Neev's love for her and Neev in himself.

He knew that he wouldn't ever do that again but in that moment the urge had been so strong and so familiar, he didn't want to be around her when he was feeling like that. Not in a long while had he felt like that but she was still the mother of his child and try as he might, he was aware that some feelings for her would never go away no matter how hard he tried but he pushed the matter from his mind and forced himself to sleep.

Ayesha was shaken, though she wouldn't admit it. What was it that was about to happen today? Why had Neev been looking at her like that and if Arjun hadn't disrupted them...would they have kissed? A part of her wanted to kiss him, for one more time to feel his touch but another, more rational part was glad that it hadn't happened; a kiss could never just be a kiss could it? And then, a small part even felt indignant on Priya's behalf; what was he thinking, getting so close to her? She had been right then, if he could leave her, he could leave anyone and then finally she resolved that she was actually thankful he hadn't kissed her, she had just sorted herself out, and she couldn't get in this mess again. It was her fate, to be in love but to have that very love drown her in despair and unhappiness.

Neev peered in through the door the next morning to find Arjun still asleep and Ayesha had climbed in beside him too. He took a moment to memorise the picture of mother and son sleeping soundly together and then another moment attempting to wipe it out of his memory.

Ayesha stirred and slowly opened her eyes to find Neev standing by the door, looking rather sheepish. She shot up and adjusted herself and in the process woke Arjun. He beamed at Ayesha and tried to rise quickly when he spotted Neev but immediately his chin wobbled, he was still in pain. Ayesha bought him to her bosom and held him there, only she knew what it felt like to see her child in pain but that aggrieved him more and she was forced to let him go. Neev helped her gently pull him into a proper sitting position.

"Ice cream nahin chahiye? Chocolate nahin chahiye? Kaisa bacha hai tu eh? (You don't want ice-cream, you don't want chocolates, what kind of kid are you?)" Neev asked, amused as Arjun shook his head, "Aayi kehti hain Arjun ke daant chocolate khaane se ghir jayenge aur saari ladkiyaa mujhse durr bagengi... (Mum says that if I eat chocolates, my teeth will be fall out and all the girls will be scared to look at me and will run away...)" Neev laughed but stopped when he saw the expression on Ayesha's face, nothing had happened yesterday and it was this awkward, imagine if they had?

Ayesha looked away slightly uncomfortably; she didn't know why it made her so but she suspected that Neev had been just like Arjun when he was younger. Arjun was a strange child, he didn't hesitate to join in with the boys, playing cricket in the chawl square but he was, Ayesha observed, most content when he played with the local girls. Her neighbours had joked that Arjun was more of a Krishna but Ayesha waved it off. She had joked with Arjun on that occasion but she hoped her son wouldn't be like Neev when he grew up; if he fell in love, she wanted him to fulfil it.

"Tou kya chahiye tujhe...kuch tou khaana padega, warna tu theek kaise hoga?(Then what do you want to eat...you have to eat something or else how will you get better?)" Ayesha asked him and Arjun's tiny face screwed up as he concentrated; there weren't many occasions his mother had given him a choice and he would have to pick carefully.

"Aayi...aap daanto ge tou nahin? (Mum, will you tell me off?)" Arjun asked cautiously but before Ayesha shook her head, Neev asked, "Kyun...kya khaana hain tumhe? (Why what is it you want to eat?)" Ayesha sadly mouthed the word sadly as Arjun said it out loud happily, "Halwa!"

Neev didn't even bother asking why that would make Ayesha angry, he knew but if his son wanted Halwa, he would get it, even if Ayesha didn't want to make it.

"Champ...bas itna hi...mein banunga!" Neev volunteered and it produced a fit of giggles from Arjun, which subsided only when Neev confided in his son's ear that Priya would be the one making it.

Ayesha swallowed the words that formed in her mouth, "Lein tumhe tou halwa banana nahin aata Neev..." Perhaps he had learnt, perhaps Priya now made it for him but most of all, she stopped short because she didn't want to remind herself of the day he had first proposed that or the day she had first said those same words too.

Instead she said, "Arjun ko sirf mera halwa pasand hain... (Arjun only like it the way I make it...)" but Neev didn't take offense, he said quite calmly, "Agar kisi aur ka chakega nahin tou usse pata kaise chalega? (If he doesn't taste anyone else's how will he know?)"

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Neev returned home that morning, exhausted. He hadn't showered and his body ached from sitting in the badly moulded plastic chairs too long.

He smiled tiredly at Priya as he arrived and sat down. "Neev..." she said rebuking him gently, "Tumne phone nahin kiya... (You didn't call...)" "Haan... (Yes...)" Neev replied, lying, he had completely forgotten "Battery dead ho gayi thi, iss liye...tum fikar mat karo, Arjun theek hain, main thodi derr mein wapas hi jaa rahan hoon... (My battery died, that's why...but don't worry, Arjun's fine...I'm going to go back in a little while...)"

He let Priya make him tea and then rose to sort himself out but Priya fidgeted in her place and he asked if she wanted to say something, "Haan Neev...muhe tumse kuch baat karni hain...(Yes Neev...I have to talk to you about something...)" she replied and Neev smiled, "Theek hain...main fresh ho jaon phir baith ke baat karte hai...(Go on...actually let me freshen up and then we can talk...)" and then he would also ask her to make Arjun some halwa.

"Nahin Neev... (No Neev...)" said Priya standing up, "Mujh mein shayad himmat na rahein...abhi kehne dou...(I won't have much courage left...let me say it now...)" she reasoned but still hesitated, "Neev...uss din jou Arjun ke saath hua...kuch aisa lagne laga ke hum zindagi ko kitne halke se lehte haina? (Neev...what happened with Arjun, made me realise that we take life so lightly...)" Neev agreed but was still unsure what she meant by it, but nevertheless, he listened carefully, and he could tell that there was something serious going through her mind, the halwa would have to wait. "Kabhie bhi kuch bhi ho sakta hain aur hum un kushion ko yaad karte reh jaate, jou hamari ho sakti thi... (Anything can happen at any time and we'll be left thinking about the happiness we could have had...)"

"Neev...hum jaante hain ke hamare beech kya rishta hain, lekin duniyah tou nahin jaanti thi...aur baatein bhi hui, bauhat saari...(Neev...we know the relationship that was between us but the world didn't...and a lot of things were said...)" she laughed a little at that and then said, "Main tumhare saath rehne lagi...kyun ki mujhe tumpe baroosa tha aur tumhaari zaroorat bhi thi...aur tumne khabhie logo ki baatein sunke, mujhe aapnane ka faisla bhi nahin liya...aur dheere dheere baatein bhi bandh ho gayi... (But we started living together...because I trusted you and because I needed you too...but you never once gave in to the pressure and make me yours ...and slowly, people grew bored and stopped talking ...)"

Neev knew what she was saying; they had both been under tremendous pressure but they both rose above it because when Neev wanted Priya to live with him; it was because they both needed a family and nothing else. If Priya had asked Neev to marry her, he might even have caved but she never did and he admired her for it, because it would have been wrong and unfair on her if he had.

"Aur ek miney mein bhi yeh kitna sahi tha na Neev...jab Ayesha tumhare dil mein thi, tab tum kisi aur ko kaise apni zindagi mein shamil karte...nainsaafi hoti na... (In a way...it was so right, wasn't it? If Ayesha was still in your heart, how could you possibly let anyone else in... It would have been unfair...)"

No! Thought Neev...not because he had loved Ayesha; no he had stopped loving her years ago, it was something else surely. The thought just had not occurred to him to remarry; he was always thinking about Arjun. The same child that kept him bonded to Ayesha. He shook the thought and urged Priya to carry on; she smiled and despite the growing lump in her throat, she did.

"Lekin dekhte hi dekhte paanch saal ho gaye Neev...in paanch saaloon mein maine har din intazaar kiye ke kab tum kisi aur ko tumhe pyaar karne ka haq de sako. Shayad tumhare mann ke kisi coune mein tum bhi jaante the, ke maine itne saal tumse hi pyaar kiya hain...(But...five years have passed Neev...and in those five years, I waited for you to let someone in, for you to see that I loved you...that I was waiting just for you...)"

Neev shook his head slowly, his stomach churning at every new word, he should have known where this conversation was going, and he should have stopped it. He knew, of course he knew that she loved him but he didn't think he had given her any indication that he ever felt the same way back. He was selfish for a while, he had wanted to be near her because it distracted him from thoughts of the life he had left behind but what could he say now and so he gaped mindlessly back at her.

"Neev...aise mat dekho...agar tum yeh soch rahe ho, ke tumne mujhe badava diya...tou galat soch rahein ho...main jaanti thi ke tum Ayesha se kitna pyaar karte the...ya shayad abhi... (Neev...dont look at me like that...if you're thinking you encouraged me, then you're wrong...I always knew that you were in love with Ayesha and perhaps still are...)"

"Nahin! (No!)" Neev said quickly, "aur shayad kuch bhi nahin... (I don't...)" he clarified , trying not to think about the incident at the hospital and Priya smiled up at him, wanting to believe that and to an extent, making herself believe it; clinging to those words to gain the courage to carry on. "Neev...main, aaj yeh kehna chahati ke kya tum mujhse shaadi karoge? Kya tum mujhe meri zindagi ki woh khushi de sakte ho, jis ke liye maine inta intezaar kiya...(Neev...I want to say...I want to ask you to marry me...I want to ask whether you can give me the happiness I waited all these years for?)" Priya tried to say slowly but it came out rather strangled, she was so nervous and when she looked towards the unmoving figure of Neev, she wondered whether she did the right thing. He looked dumbfounded and when he did speak after a long uncomfortable silence, he said, "But I'm still married..."

The Kiss

This is the last Part. Thanks to everyone for their support, even when it whittled down to the last few men, I greatly appreciate all your comments and encouragement. Hope you enjoyed the journey! Love you guys!

Neev stood outside Ayesha's house a week later, though Arjun had been discharged and Neev itched to see him; he was forced to keep his visits short. He had to make a decision and being around Ayesha wouldn't help anything, being around her confused him, it was too easy to not do anything and leave things as they were; but he had taken the easy option before and look where that had gotten him so here was here today to make a choice. He was crazy to do this, but he had to, he wouldn't be able to move on otherwise.

He walked in to the familiar scene of his estranged wife and their beautiful boy sitting on a battered chair, watching cartoons together on an ancient TV. He could, if he was quiet, slip in beside them and to anyone looking in, they would look just like a normal family but they weren't and never could be. He coughed discreetly and though Arjun was still very engrossed in the garish colours that ran across the screen, Ayesha looked up at him. She tried to get Arjun's attention but Neev quickly stopped her and motioned her to come away.

Ayesha looked about her, in two minds whether to do as he said or to stay where she was. Why would he possibly want to see her or talk to her; he came here only for Arjun. But there was a look of desperation on his face that she couldn't refuse and she got up and took him into their old bedroom, for there were no other rooms if he wanted to speak to her privately.

They both waited for something to come next, Neev waited for the right moment and wondered whether there ever would be one and Ayesha waited for Neev to say something, anything at all. Her heart was thudding loudly and though her back was turned to Neev, she wondered if he could sense her anxiety, she knew from the moment that she looked up at Neev that something big was going to happen today, she just didn't know what and she suddenly wished she had stayed with Arjun. Was this about what almost happened at the hospital?

Neev shuffled a bit on the spot and then asked, "Arjun kaisa hain? (How's Arjun?)" Ayesha almost turned to him incredulously, "Bas yeh baat karni thi? Tu usse milega nahin ...agar woh jaanega tu aaye tha aur usse mila bhi nahin...(That's what you wanted to talk about? Won't you meet him? If he finds out you came and left without seeing him...)"

How could he explain that what he had come to say was much more difficult than facing the wrath of his son? He took a deep breath and thought about it, perhaps she wouldn't even care, she may even be glad but he hoped not. "Ayesha...main aur Priya shaadi karne waale hain... (Priya and I are getting married)" he blurted quickly in one breath before she said anything else and Ayesha stopped moving altogether, paralysed by those few words. Married? Had she heard correctly? The words seemed to her like white noise but then how could she have expected it not to happen, instead she should have been wondering why it hadn't happened a long time ago.

But was Priya even aware of this? Yes, she had proposed but she was still awaiting Neev's answer. Neev had come here today so he could give her one but first he needed some answers himself. Priya had finally done it, it had taken five long years but she had forced him to reconsider their relationship, it wasn't enough for her like it was for him and he knew that now would be there time to make a choice that would break him away from Priya or break him away from Ayesha forever.

He had already been married, he already was and Neev had never thought he would again, it had only lead to unhappiness and he had even confided this to Priya but she had merely replied, "Agar kisi aur ke saath koshish nahin karoge...tou paata kaise chalega? (If you don't try with someone else...how would you know?)" He would always love Priya but he had never been in love with her, he wondered whether he would be able to fulfil a marriage without love but he had been unable to fulfil one even when there had been love, perhaps it didn't matter. He owed it to Priya; she had been there for him in his worst of times, standing by him like a rock and supporting him through the rise of the company and through his own struggle out of self pity.

And yet, despite feeling the responsibility to Priya, Neev couldn't help himself but think about Ayesha. Why had they not divorced yet? They were separated but they were still bound together, by Arjun and by that one piece of paper; he didn't know whether he could do it, bring himself to cut off even that one little tie. It seemed almost unreasonable and irrational but then everything would be final, that would be it for them, everything would be over once and for all.

Neither of them had much hope that they may someday end up back together but this seemed, especially to Ayesha like a blow. It struck her firmly in the gut and she felt the sensation of blood rushing from her face as Neev said the words, the words themselves had such a ring of finality that Ayesha felt that if there was one sentence that she could have lived her entire life without hearing, it was that. "Kab? (When?)" was all she could croak back to Neev who didn't answer. Had she said it in her head? She couldn't tell it apart from the blood pounding in her ears.

"Ayesha meri shaadi ho rahi hain... (Ayesha I'm getting married)" Neev pressed, taking a step closer to Ayesha. She had clung tightly to the foot of the bed, afraid she may fall if she let go, her legs felt like jelly but when she felt Neev come closer, she almost jerked away. Ayesha waited until she felt that she could form a sentence without the words wavering and then asked, "Talaaq ke liye aaye ho? (So you came to ask for a divorce?)" Neev flinched at the coldness of her tone and was almost forced to reply back as curtly, that yes, he had but he didn't.

What was Neev trying to achieve today? Perhaps he wasn't too sure either but he wanted to see a reaction, any reaction from Ayesha that would confirm he wasn't making the right choice but from where he stood, perhaps he was. She didn't seem much affected by the news; she was ready for the divorce.

And yet, Neev continued to stay there, unmoving, could this really be it? Why was he finding it hard to accept when he had been the one to leave it all behind in the first place? Why hadn't he felt this compelled to do something before; sure he had been angry and disappointed and hurt but today he felt something else too which drove his actions, the utter and complete sense of losing something he would never get back and he wanted to know whether she felt it too.

From today, it would be wrong if he ever felt the same urge to kiss Ayesha as he had yesterday; it would be wrong to want to feel her skin under his hands again and wrong to want to smell her long soft hair ever again; the same hair he held now. Ayesha held a breath, had she imagined it or was Neev's face buried in her hair and was it her or was it his body wrapping itself around her's now. She fought the urge to turn around and throw herself against him, to let him hold her and let his body warm her's but instead when he whispered, "Tum kuch nahin bologi Ayesh?. Kal bauhat derr ho jayegi... (Won't you say something Ayesha... it'll be too late tomorrow...)" she was bought back to reality as he said that and she yanked her arms free from his grasp and turn to him with such rage in her eyes, Neev felt as though he might burn from the intensity in them. "Kya bolu mein Neev... (What do you want me to say Neev?)" She conveyed a shout in a loud whisper, even if Neev wasn't, she at least was aware her son was outside. "Ab bolne ke liye reh kya gaya hain? Aaj kyun Neev? In paanch saalo mein aaj hi kyun? Shayad tune khud jo kaha tuje sunai nahin diya...teri shaadi ho rahi hai Neev! Kya chahata hain tu? Chod ke tu gaya tha Neev...dobara sab nahin hoga...na tujse na mujse...mujse durr rehna Neev... (What is there left to say now? And why now? In these five years why did you pick now? I don't think you heard what came out of your own mouth, you're getting married! I don't know what you want from me, but I can't do it Neev...you left me once, I can't go through it again and neither can you so stay away from me...)"

Why now? That was a question Neev had asked himself a million times before but the answer was because it was now or never, "Chodke mein gaya tou tha, lekin tumne khabhie rouka hi nahin Ayesha...aur mein yeh baat aaj kar raha hoon kyun ki agar aaj nahin kahan ya kuch pooncha tou khabhie nahin hoga aur hum dono hamesha ke liye woh yaad bann ke reh jayenge jo hum bholana tou chahte hain, lekin khabhie bhool nahin payenge...in paanch saalo mein bas yehin koshish ki maine, tumhe bholne ki, tumse nafrat karne ki...paanch saal guzaar diye iss koshish mein lekin aaj bhi mein wahin ka wahin hoon...chahene se bhi kisi aur ko tumhari jaga pe nahin dekh sakta, aur aaj mein apna sab kuch bhool ke tumhare samne khada hoon...iss umeed mein, ke tum kuch kaho aur mujhe rouk lo...(I did leave, yes, but it was you that never even tried to stop me, instead pushed me further away and I say this today because if I don't ask you anything and you don't say anything today, that's it...it'll never happen and we'll be left imprinted on each other's memories, wishing we could erase them...that's what I've tried for these five years...to forget that I love you...to hate you instead but the years passed and I'm still where I was before...even if I want to, it's hard to see someone else in your place, and I can't help but stand here, without any pride, with only the hope that you will say something and stop me from becoming someone else's.)" He finished hoping in earnest that she too felt the same, that she too could give them another chance.

In their story there is no happily ever after. How could she stop him? And what for, for the cycle to continue; for the mistrust and the hurt to continue, it would destroy them both this time and they had Arjun to consider too. He was thriving despite the absence of a conventional family because they both put him first but if they were together, he would become secondary to her insecurities and fear and Neev would never understand. It was better this way, to have Neev completely away from her life, to know once and for all that he was lost to her forever and she wouldn't, despite herself ever hope that he may touch her again, lover her again. She would be saner then, knowing that Neev was marrying the very person that had unintentionally ruined everything, she would be saner, knowing that she had done the right thing five years ago by letting Neev walk away.

But had she? How wrong she had been to do that because he wouldn't be standing here today otherwise, because it meant that what she had thought, what she wanted to believe to be true, wasn't; it was her that Neev had loved, deep down she must have known that and would she be wrong to do it again today, would she be depriving her son and herself of a happiness and love they deserved? No, those were questions Ayesha didn't want to entertain, she had made the decision in her mind and there was no other way about it. She had to let him go, from her mind, her heart and from this marriage.

"Talaaq ke khagazat bhej dena...sign kar doongi... (send the divorce papers...I'll sign them...)" she spoke finally, keeping her voice completely clinical but they were not the words he wanted to hear and he stared at her, speechless. He should have known to expect this, he should have known but instead he put himself out there only to face humiliation and rejection and he had lost the will to fight. What had hurt the most was the crushing of any hope he had when he came here and the realisation that a decision had been made for him, if he couldn't be happy with Ayesha, if she couldn't give him anything, he would have to spend his life making Priya happier, giving her back the five years she had spent loving him, caring for him.

So he was going to do this, he would marry someone else because out of all this at least someone deserved happiness. He looked at Ayesha with one last look of longing and desperation as though a tiny part of him still clung to some hope and he couldn't help himself; he reached forward and gently cupped Ayesha's face, she tried to break away from his grasp but he was firm and unyielding, making her understand that they needed this, he had to do this and for the last time in his life, he placed his lips on hers and kissed her, slowly and for as long as he could. In the aftermath, they stood facing each other, their breathing ragged. It was finally over, both had felt it break, it was settled and it was sealed with a kiss.

The Kiss- Revisited.

"Neev...utho!" Ayesha called, running her hand through his hair. Neev mumbled something incoherent and continued to sleep, pulling Ayesha's arm closer and trapping it under his chest. She tugged but to no avail, it was firmly held captive by Neev and soon she knelt beside the bed and stared at him. She reached for a glass set on the bedside table and waved it threateningly in front of Neev. He peaked with one eye open to see why she had stopped struggling and he suddenly shot up spying the water in the glass. "Tou seedhi tarah se maan tha kyun nahin? Derr ho gayi hoti tou?" Ayesha asked laughing as Neev pulled her on the bed next to him.

"Kis baat ki derri? Aur waise, Jagaane ke aur bhi tareeke hote hain..." Neev replied with a smirk. He drew Ayesha's face closer and show her exactly how when Arjun came bounding in and jumped on the bed. He was more active first thing in the morning and today he was even more so. Crashing against Neev's chest, Arjun started screaming loudly, "Pappa utho! Pappa utho!" Neev pulled him off and looked on incredulously as Ayesha winked at Arjun and he was grinning back looking rather proud. "Tujhe kya hua hain Champ?" Neev asked and Arjun smiled back, very pleased with himself, "Aayi ne kaha tha, aapko Jagaane ke liye...kahin derr na ho jaye papa..."

Neev looked bewildered back at Ayesha but she turned away and picked Arjun off the bed. "Ayesha..." Neev said puzzled but she had already begun to walk out of the door, "Ayesha!" Neev shouted and finally, over her shoulder she asked, "Neev...tujhe saath nahin chalna?" "Chalna hain Ayesha...mera intazaar tou karo..." Neev said quickly, panic rising in his chest, "Tou jaldi karo Neev...Derr tou pehle se hi ho gayi hain..." Ayesha replied but her voice was nothing more than a whisper now and Neev could only faintly make her and Arjun out in the distance. He tried to get out of the bed and follow them but he couldn't, he felt paralysed and unable to move.

"Ayesha..." Neev called but nobody answered now, "Ayesha!"Neev shouted one more time but he was jolted awake in his own bedroom alone and able to move perfectly fine. It had been a dream? Of course it had, he had not had that feeling of contentment for a long time now and he almost wished he could go back to sleep and into his dream again, at least before Arjun and Ayesha disappeared.

He stared up at the ceiling for a long while; then closed his eyes again and tried to make sense of what he had just dreamed. Yes, he was still married to Ayesha albeit that had stopped being a marriage years ago; he wanted it back, he wanted his family, not a new one but was it too late?

What did it matter whether he wanted? Priya deserved some happiness and if he could give her that, he should. His sense of duty and responsibility to Priya was evident but his own uncertainty, unwillingness was overpowering and he felt crushed between the two. What should he do? He wondered, what should he do?

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The minutes whittled away and yet, the Neev stood there unmoving. He leant against his car, squinting up at the tiny flat he used to know so well. He knew; after checking his watch, that now was the time Arjun's favourite cartoon came on and in his mind, he could imagine Ayesha curled up with his...with their son, watching the TV.

Minutes passed for hours and yet Neev stood outside, holding onto his mental image of Ayesha and Arjun and gathering the courage to go up and do what he had come to do. But he couldn't; this was perhaps the most difficult thing he had ever had to do, it was to face reality.

The reality was that Priya had proposed and she was no longer willing to let life slip by them. It woke him up too, he realised that the last five years had passed in a blur and despite all the time that had escaped; he had ended up back where it had started, outside this chawl, wanting to be a part of Ayesha's life.

The last of the day's light went out, drowning the chawl in darkness and it had begun to rain slightly too but Neev had not moved. He watched as tiny lights flickered on in the houses and waited some more; he ignored the looks from passersby who rushed in doors as the rain pelted down on them.

Finally, his wait seemed to be over and the very person he was seeking had found him. Ayesha looked down from the balcony to find Neev staring back up at her. Her heart almost skipped beat and she felt a rush of cold dread flow through her body; making her shiver. He looked so confused and sad, standing there, she had almost wanted to run down the instant she saw him but instead, she glued her feet firmly on the spot and forced herself to stay.

Why was he here? She wondered briefly if it had anything to do with what had nearly occurred at the hospital, perhaps, she had barely seen him after that, he had kept his visits short and mostly rang for Arjun now. What would he want to talk about? What would she say to him? Of course, that moment had been insanity on both their parts, what were they even thinking? But that was it, she hadn't been thinking and though she wouldn't admit it, it felt good. It felt good to be in Neev's arms, to have him hold her and to be able to touch him.

The wind blew droplets of rain onto Ayesha's face and she gasped, looking quickly back down at Neev who shivered in his spot; unable to stand it any longer, she went back inside her house. Neev looked on with disappointment but what had he expected, he had come to see her, why should she have been the person to make the first move.

What had he come here today with? He didn't know but the urge had been irresistible and he had to see her, to do something. He was desperate and it was suffocating him, this rush of emotion he was feeling. Why now? Why now? He wondered again and again but he knew the answer, because it was now or never. Why was he feeling like he was finally losing the one thing in life that he thought he had already lost? But they hadn't really lost each other, had they? Neither could love another like they had each other or perhaps still did. There was hurt and anger and pain but there had to be love too, wasn't it that very love that had brought Neev outside Ayesha's house and Ayesha in front of Neev, under the pouring rain that day?

Ayesha gently hovered an umbrella over Neev's head and looked up at him angrily, "Bimaar padne ka bauhat shauk hain kya tujhe?" she asked, holding the umbrella knob tightly under her hands as though she might break it and now instead of replying back just as cuttingly as he might have done before, Neev merely laughed a little and wiped his face. Why were they unable to even speak properly, it had been so long? It was this they had been avoiding, not really each other but that unmistakable intimacy between two people bound by love, by a child despite everything. It would always be there but they had masked it with indifference, with anger, with bitterness. "Yahan kyun aaya hain Neev?" She spoke again, when it was clear that he didn't plan on replying to her previous question. She asked almost hesitantly, afraid of what the answer might be.

Neev didn't answer but Ayesha show a knot of confusion form at his brow and then unfurrow as he looked up at her as if having decided what to say or do. He reached forward and ran a hand down the side of her face. Ayesha looks at surprise at his hand and then at Neev, she almost opened her mouth to say something but Neev quickly pressed his lips down on hers and her words drowned in her throat. He kissed her hard and fiercely on the mouth and for a moment, he felt her respond in kind but soon that moment was over and they were pried apart by her hands against his chest, pushing him away.

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They stood staring at each, almost gasping for breath and then instinctively both leaned again but Ayesha caught herself just before their lips met again and whispered, "Kya kar raha hain Neev?!" Neev looked on, wishing in earnest that he would get a chance to kiss her again, to make her love him again. Ayesha wiped her eyes furiously and when Neev reached for her again despite her warning, her palm collided with his cheek. He smiled though, she had kissed him back and that's why she was angry.

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Ayesha picked up Neev's hand and thrust the umbrella into it; she then turned and ran back up the stairs into her house, she threw Neev no second look for she barely trusted herself and firmly closed the doors behind her.

She looked towards Arjun but he had fallen asleep with the TV on and slowly as if unthinkingly, she picked him up and placed him across the bed. She had kept her emotions at bay this far, but as she gazed upon Arjun's sleeping form, she was reminded of Neev. She sank to her knees and lay her head on the bed, wanted most of all to scream at him, to ask him what he was playing at."Sab kuch tou khatam tha...tou phir kyun?!"Ayesha whispered hoarsely. Her breath came in short; sharp gasps and she covered her mouth so she wouldn't wake Arjun.

She loved Neev and that love persisted, deep inside her, despite all her attempts to wish it away or try to forget about it. It couldn't have been helped even if she had tried, she didn't want to love him but she did and that was the truth of it. She hated that a part of her still longed for him but another more rational part knew that if they could not make it work then, would they ever be able to?

She had tried so hard to bury her emotions and she had thought she had succeeded; she had pushed them so deep inside of her that she could no longer feel them but only the relief that the numbness brought her. But when he had kissed her today, it was as if the emotions within her came bubbling to the surface and having avoided them for so long, she was unsure what to do with it. She regretted hitting Neev but he shouldn't have kissed her either and yet he had and she too had kissed him back. She regretted that the most; that she had let him do that to her, make her so weak.

The moment Neev walked away from her life, she tried to tell herself that she would be fine without him but a small corner of her heart wished that she could have carried on kissing him. She didn't think she'd need a man to make her happy, she didn't but she needed Neev because he was so much more, he was everything and when he had kissed, she felt as though, she was everything to him too.

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Not long after, there was a knock on the door and Ayesha's pulse raced she debated on whether or not to open the door, what if it was Neev? She gradually stood up straight and tried to spy out of the window but she couldn't see who it was. Again there was a knock and this time louder and more prominent. Despite her initial reluctance, Ayesha felt compelled to open the door, just to satisfy her curiosity, was it really Neev?

It was. He had waited but she had never returned and now he stood there looking awkwardly down at her. He could have left, he should have but today he had gained the courage and he knew that if he didn't say anything today, his chance would be lost forever.

The feeling of both despair and delight clouded Ayesha's features and she knew she should have closed the doors right then but she didn't and instead when Neev opened out his arms, she fell into them and as he pulled her to him, she held on tighter and they stood like that for a long while, both unsure how to deal with the aftermath of what had just happened. But Neev knew that he had to tell her, he would have to break the moment and they would have to sort all this out. Neev gulped and took a deep breath, "Ayesha..." he started, speaking tentatively at first and then gaining momentum he continued, "Priya...Priya mujhse shaadi karna chahti hain..."

The words burned Ayesha's ears and she froze in Neev's hold. "Tum kuch nahin bologi Ayesha? Kal bauhat derr ho jayegi... (Won't you say something Ayesha... it'll be too late tomorrow...)" she was bought back to reality as he said that and she yanked her arms free from his grasp and turn to him with such rage in her eyes, Neev felt as though he might burn from the intensity in them. "Kya bolu mein Neev... (What do you want me to say Neev?)" She conveyed a shout in a loud whisper, even if Neev wasn't, she at least was aware her son was outside. "Ab bolne ke liye reh kya gaya hain? Aaj kyun Neev? In paanch saalo mein aaj hi kyun? Shayad tune khud jo kaha tuje sunai nahin diya...teri shaadi ho rahi hai Neev! Kya chahata hain tu? Chod ke tu gaya tha Neev...dobara sab nahin hoga...na tujse na mujse...mujse durr rehna Neev... (What is there left to say now? And why now? In these five years why did you pick now? I don't think you heard what came out of your own mouth, you're getting married! I don't know what you want from me, but I can't do it Neev...you left me once, I can't go through it again and neither can you so stay away from me...)"

Why now? Did Neev not already ask himself that, "Chodke mein gaya tou tha, lekin tumne khabhie rouka hi nahin Ayesha...aur mein yeh baat aaj kar raha hoon kyun ki agar aaj nahin kahan ya kuch pooncha tou khabhie nahin hoga aur hum dono hamesha ke liye woh yaad bann ke reh jayenge jo hum bholana tou chahte hain, lekin khabhie bhool nahin payenge...in paanch saalo mein bas yehin koshish ki maine, tumhe bholne ki, tumse nafrat karne ki...paanch saal guzaar diye iss koshish mein lekin aaj bhi mein wahin ka wahin hoon...chahene se bhi kisi aur ko tumhari jag ape nahin dekh sakta, aur aaj mein apna sab kuch bhool ke tumhare samne khada hoon...iss umeed mein, ke tum kuch kaho aur mujhe rouk lo...(I did leave, yes, but it was you that never even tried to stop me, instead pushed me further away and I say this today because if I don't ask you anything and you don't say anything today, that's it...it'll never happen and we'll be left imprinted on each other's memories, wishing we could erase them...that's what I've tried for these five years...to forget that I love you...to hate you instead but the years passed and I'm still where I was before...even if I want to, it's hard to see someone else in your place, and I can't help but stand here, without any pride, with only the hope that you will say something and stop me from becoming someone else's.)" He finished hoping in earnest that she too felt the same, that she too could give them another chance.

"Neev...tu pagaal ho gaya hain..." He said but there wasn't much conviction in her voice and she trembled as Neev moved closer to her, "Bas? Itna hi...tumhe khabhie meri yaad nahin aati...khabhie mera khayal nahin aata..." Neev asked but Ayesha shook her head, "Aaj tou joonth mat bolo Ayesha...naraz ho mujhse...meri galti thi, ke maine hamamre pyaar ko harne diya...lekin mein aaj ladh raha hoon Ayesha...kyun ab is esaas ko jutla nahin sakta ke tumhara bina...tum dono ke bina...main udhura hoon...kya tumhe bhi ye mesoos nahin hota?"

Neev spoke so sincerely that Ayesha was rendered speechless; of course she felt the same but they had tried before and how could they ensure that this time would be any different, she was still who she was and she didn't know whether they could survive another run. "Neev! Tu samajta kyun nahin?! Hum tabhaa ho jayenge iss barr...Arjun ka socho...humne ek barr koshish ki, dosri barr agar kuch hua, Arjun ka kya hoga?" Ayesha said finally and it was the truth, what of Arjun if it went wrong again but Neev was prepared. Had he not thought of that before, of course Arjun came first and how better to do that then to give him a family he deserved.

Neev gently cupped Ayesha's face and though she swatted his hand away, he tried again, "Arjun ko ek parivaar milega Ayesha...aur is barr Arjun ke liye, hum zyaada koshish karenge...pehli barr, hamara pyaar hi hamari kamzoori ban gaya tha...lekin main tumhe dobara nahin koh sakta..."

Neev had tried his hardest but he was losing faith quickly as Ayesha continued to shake her head; she was stubborn and adamant that she was right, they would never work again. She had been getting used to the comfort of Neev's touch when suddenly he pulled away and looked upon her rather angrily, "Aur kya kaho main huh? Kitna samjao? Mujhse pyaar karti ho na? Karti ho na tum? Tou phir tumhe woh dard kyun nahin mesoos ho rahan jou mujhe ho rahan hain? Main kisi aur ka ho jaounga tab bhi nahin hoga kuch..."

Ayesha stood stunned and gaped back at him, her eyes betrayed her but she said nothing and Neev gave her one final look, almost pleading, begging for her to understand and when she didn't he turned around and began to make his way out of the door. His legs felt like lead but he forced himself to walk, to never turn back.

Ayesha waited for the numbness to take over, that had always helped, it had helped block out everything, especially the pain when he left the first time, she wished it would help today. But it didn't come, instead as she watched Neev take step after step away from her, she felt as though a piece of her heart were breaking with it. How could she deny herself that very person she longed so much for? How had she not broken?

Neev closed his eyes and let the tears he had been holding back drop; it was over, well and truly. He had just stepped out of the door when he felt Ayesha crash into his back. "Hota hain Neev..." she sobbed, clutching Neev's shoulders, "Dard hota hain...har din...har pal...jab tu mere samne hote tha, lekin main tujhe chu nahin sakti thi...jab tu Arjun ko leh jaata tha, lekin mere samne dekhta bhi nahin tha...jab jab main Priya ko tere saath dekhti...jab jab main saans lehti Neev..."Ayesha confessed, pressing into Neev's back. "Mujhe phir se chod ke gaye tou main marr jaoungi..."

"Khabhie nahin..." Neev replied, turning around and holding her as close to him as he could, "Khabhie nahin..." he repeated over and over hair and she cried into his chest. He kissed the top of her head and squeezed tighter; he wondered how he had lasted five years without this feeling, with her love...but he knew that from now on, he wouldn't survive a moment without it.

Originally posted by: zcbcc34

Thank you hun...Jaapi Waapi nahin deni?😆 and go read Andaaz...I updated that too...😉

i forgot my cheer 😲!!
here it is :
P-A-N-E-E-R ....issssssssssssssssss...EWWWWWWW!!🥳😊..yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!🥳🥳😆

😭😭khushi k aansoon..how can i ever tell u how much i love u!😆😭
thank u so much for updating❤️
sorry i forgot the jaadu ki jhappi..here u go🤗

Originally posted by: jess.amit<3

[

i forgot my cheer 😲!!
here it is :
P-A-N-E-E-R ....issssssssssssssssss...EWWWWWWW!!🥳😊..yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!🥳🥳😆 lloooollllll lollllllllll loollllllllll LMAAOOO!!!!!🤣

howwww trueeee

and rimmzz ben i am gonan read it later; have to finish a chapter😳😆

Originally posted by: jess.amit<3

i forgot my cheer 😲!!damn I forgot too...but YAY😃
here it is :
P-A-N-E-E-R ....issssssssssssssssss...EWWWWWWW!!🥳😊..yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!🥳🥳😆JESSU!!!😆

😭😭khushi k aansoon..how can i ever tell u how much i love u!😆😭AWW Hunny...seriously...no probs...I like writing...
thank u so much for updating❤️
sorry i forgot the jaadu ki jhappi..here u go🤗YAY!! 🤗