arshi ff: without you... thread #1, chapters 1-13 **completed**

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indi52

@indi52

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Posted: 12 years ago

#551

Originally posted by: hd75
Indi, what can I say, that I havent said earlier? I will just stick to the basic word - beautiful ! And, the man is back ! Thank you 🤗. "You are in me, I am in you, together we shall face this thing, even if it is called death" 👏 👏 👏. If anybody is looking for the definition of true, divine love, then, this is it !

You've ended the chapter in IPK style - without a pre cap - sach hai ya sapna? 😉

Loved that little chat Khushi had with ASR, felt like watching IPK all over again. I agree with what you said Indi, despite the poor writing towards the end, Khushi is still my favourite, I don't know if it was because of Sanaya or I love the girl way too much. None of the insane antics including the pathetic act of disguising as an office peon could make me cringe at the character. I love the Khushi in your story, this is how she was always meant to be, right?

Now, that the chocolate brown eyes have opened, can't wait to read about the magic they can do 😊

hi harichandana,

as always, thanks. glad you felt ipk things while reading. khushi is different, her heart and sinew are real and her sanaka is her ultimate weapon to take on this weird world. there is a reason asr falls for her... they are alike in many ways. my reading. yes, this us khushi... not that awful girl who puts him through hell on his birthday.

sach hai ya sapna? awww, even i need him to wake up, spring out of bed, and say what the and scream and shout now. without that, where's the energy in things... the mmm sexiness. 😳. see ya with the next update.

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indi52

@indi52

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+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#552

Originally posted by: DurgaS
Beautiful. Very very beautiful. The descriptions, so complete. They say in a visual medium, there's not much left for imagination. But, while reading the written word, each person has his/her own visualisations of the scene. But not in your written world Indi. The scenes are crystal clear, I can even sense the wind blowing and rabba ve playing. This is awesome work and it is getting better and better with every instalment. 👏 The second part, the lady in her pallu, that was Arnav's mother. Arnav found her, in a place that was not seen before, he was happy, wanted to hug her. But she reminded him, not yet. And he makes his way back. Was he searching for his mother all this while? The third part, I could hear rabba ve sung in high pitch by both male and female voices, that comes at the fag end of Kyun dard hai itna. Each line of this chapter is brilliantly written. The man in your story makes his way back and opens his eyes. Across the seas, a little boy comes out and opens his little eyes. 😊

durga, 🤗

thanks so so much. for that up there in pink bold, you made my day.

was he searching for his mum all along? what do you think? i don't know. i took cues from what i know of him. the nightmares don't go away... a lot of unresolved pain in him... the sudden death of both parents, especially his beloved maa... it's trapped in him. sometimes lying low, suddenly raging high... what if this strange space of coma allowed him to experience something which our too rational world never does. especially people like him... tethered to their rational selves... the people who instinctively trust their dimag more than dil... because dil has been badly bruised at a tender age. how difficult it was for him to even consider the "star" idea if khushi's. i wonder what all releases in him after that "meeting" with maa. when life challenges us in unthinkable ways we learn sometimes to see beyond and sense more than the here and now, the solid, unyielding almost unimaginative reality that holds us. we are willing to see. in such a state he senses something. i want to see where it takes him.

love your last line. the 14 year old in him is still wanting to trust, to love...little boy, yes.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#553

Originally posted by: Suni
Awww! He woke up!

yes he did, suni, yay, so he did. 😳 thanks for reading.

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#554

Originally posted by: chalhov
Finally the man is out of the misty coma finding his Khushi uttering the magic word Khushi beautiful and sentimental update Indi hats off

thanks, chalhov, so good to see you. always nice to find your happy comment. hope you are enjoying really. 😳

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#555

Originally posted by: supriya.arshi
INDI He is awake...i am almost in tears here...you hav no idea

i loved it 😃

my god wat a chapter...just Brilliant ⭐️👏
how did you write it?? everythin its place , perfect lines , phrases scenario⭐️

on the first part...i was crushed see the state of Khushi...tryin every possible thing to wake him up...speakin of her desires . the days activity . lol even NK...just really made me soo broken for our chirpy girl
btw tht was awesomely written , all of her dialogues to him...it was just amazing ⭐️

on the second...aww he caught her this time 😉

nd the last

I freakin Love you for it...so amazingly written wat a twist
do you remember while IPK epi used to air nd in the of the epi some crazy thing would happen...nd the entire forum would be rejoicing nd dancin...thts exaclty my situation...m smilin throughout writing this
just Fantastic Thank you 🤗

wonderful writing

supriya,
did you just say, something about it had the feeling of the real thing... ipk. okay, i am now in a coma. 😳😳 thanks, so so much. i love your comment and so glad you had fun reading this. that khushi was something else, haan... the things she says. so real and powerful because of her complete vishwas no matter what. that girl is worth knowing and going nuts over. i am still reeling from your comment. i don't have many people reading my storuy, but if those who do have a really good time, feels like a million dollars (singapore dollars ha ha) to me. please always tell me the truth... guides me. keeps me thinking, ticking, inventing.🤗

Edited by indi52 - 12 years ago

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#556

Originally posted by: Omoraboti
R

Will be back after reading.

Back! 😊

I read the chapter and kept saying .. wordsmith. 😊

We know his features by heart, Di. But the way you have chosen to show him through Khushi's eyes... was breathtaking. And Khushi's monologue or conversation with her husband .. in whichever way you put it .. was astounding.

I really like the way you have kept the story similar to IPK .. giving us a feeling it is just something that could have been post Mrs. India win .. but also have twisted the incidents in your own way .. and still the feeling is the same.

A young boy in a new pretty space .. ah! The world he never knew .. the world she once introduced to him .. he misses it .. and he will go back there .. beautifully put!

Is he back? "Ja rahi ho .." and the tug at her pallu ... my heart is at my throat right now .. will not be able to rest till you let us know more.

PS: I am so happy that my real lame edit gave you something to write this chapter .. I feel .. honored. 😊

hi farha,

your lame edit... without it there'd be no chapter 8. that's where the bak bak khsuhi was born... and the woman who so wants her husband... who believes this can be done no matter how scary... .

there was longing in that edit. that's what it is all about really, isn't it.

the pretty place... in that no man's land between here and there, where our normal "barriers" fall away, a 14 year old boy saw a woman he loved and and had longed to see so many years... and somehow found his way back...

jaa rahi ho... remember you'd once wondered what he'd say when he returned? well he's just started the conversation... i am keen to know if she felt him in his silence or not... one of these days.

yes, farha, this is all happening in asr khushi's life post mrs india, etc. they are the people ved raj, gul khan, gautam hegde, hitesh kevaliya and others created. i am just trying to see what happened afterwards, because the story is still not quite done.

that death shot triggered it... as you know i don't write fiction. i ramble, that's me. but that picture just bugged the daylights out of me. i said, chalo, theek hai, let's see what happens if death indeed happens. or nearly. curiously enough i couldn't kill him off. his eyes refuse to stop glinting.

and it was strange, but i felt energy less through his entire stay in coma every time i wrote. after writing 8, i was the most relieved and happy person i know. poor readers, how they have suffered and tolerated this.

barun sobti and sanaya irani and writers have given us a two really powerful characters. this ff is really a tribute to that. i am just playing with my favourite dolls. 😆

Edited by indi52 - 12 years ago

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cheesemad

@cheesemad

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 12 years ago

#557

OMFG m screaming like crazy...

ja rahi ho😳

please tell me its not a dream, pretty please...

loved each n every bit of the chapter...their past, their attraction, denial everything was beautifully written...

Khushi is a strong woman and when she started to loose hope in this update, our ASR made an entry...

please don't make it a dream...

continue soon:D

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indi52

@indi52

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 12 years ago

#558

^^^ hi komal,

you are here and happy... that's lovely., thanks, sir. dream? now stop giving me ideas,, you guys 😆 i finally have him speaking in husky tones, brown eyes glittering, think i'm gonna let that go?

hey, so glad you enjoyed. hoping to update midweek, do come back and see whether it was for real or not... 😳