Manhandling & sorry - Page 7

Originally posted by: Bechain_Bulbul

coming to ghum, I never said that what virat did can be justified in any manner but what sai did was not good either. Insulting virat, labelling him as toy of pakhi in front of everyone, not revealing the whole truth to him about pulkit's kidnapping and all, whatever the reason was, she should have confided in her husband who had promised her to wait till he reinvestigate the case. Both are flawed characters, both did wrong and both will repent for it. Ultimately it depends on a couple if they can arrive at the solution, at the compromise and reconcile by forgiving each other or not.

the whole point here is that while nobody supports virat's actions here but still why to always criticize him and not sai when she is wrong. Agar virat ki harkatein galat hain to sai ki soch, uski basha, uski harketin bhi utni hi galat hain. Do galat cheez ek sahi nahi bana sakti.

Yes Sai did a number of wrong things and she needs to be called out for it. But what Virat did is completely inhuman. And it is wrong to compare the actions of the two. If tomorrow, Sai manhandles Virat or deny him food, I am sure nobody will support Sai and will criticize her severely. Because these things are completely wrong. The problem is, Virat is a police officer, someone who is sworn to protect people. And yet, he goes ahead and manhandles his wife, deny her food or throws her out at night. These are the offences against which, Virat as a police officer is supposed to take action. And yet, he does all these things and gets away scot free. This is what I have a problem with. Regarding SaiRat's future, I am sure Sai will forgive Virat soon enough and go back to him. And Virat also seems to repenting sincerely. So if he has learnt his lesson and won't repeat them in future, there is nothing much to worry about. (since it is a TV show. In real life, things won't be that simple or easy.)

Originally posted by: janecastle

How is feminism an extreme thought process?? It is simply an advocacy of equality of sexes. How can you compare feminism and chauvinism??

Thank you!!! I was surprised that almost no one in this topic found that "nonsensincal comparison" between chauvinism and feminism problematic. The things you get to read on this forum 😅

The TV shows should become more progressive. If they keep showing abuse especially from the leads, that is what would be seen as the norm in the society, despite us saying, hey its just TV, not real life!

My best friend admitted recently that her husband beats her sometimes. I was shocked. We all studied in a top college and she is from a fairly progressive family (or I thought so). When her mom questioned my friend's husband about this, he apparently said, but I apologized to her! And her mom advised my friend that she should behave in a such a way not to antagonize him!! And he still beats her during arguments and my friend is not telling her mom anymore. This is what reality is! When we, women, see abuse around us and on TV, we tend to internally accept that it is normal. Would we dare to beat men/husbands?! At least not the majority of women, because that is not what we see in our society and on TV. "Good" women on TV don't abuse men! But "good" men can/will do that, because they will apologize later/ repent for their mistakes/pine for the wife, so all is good!

Originally posted by: janecastle

Feminism, radical or otherwise, in paper or practice, is about the EQUALITY of gender and not the superiority of one gender over another. People who think otherwise don't understand the term feminism and should not be called feminists. It has become a common practice these days to make out feminism into something negative, something it is not.

Coming to movies and shows, there are many of them which ACTUALLY depict what true women empowerment is. Even in the type of movies you mentioned, it is the CHOICE of the women to do such things, like it is the choice of men, even if they have nothing to do with empowerment.

The thing is, feminism is not about the superiority of one gender over the other. Feminists don't aim to suppress men or dominate men in any way. All they want is equal rights for women. It is the problem of people if they can't understand this very simple point. Feminism stands against patriarchy and NOT men. So let's not spread misconceptions like feminists are against men or are trying to dominate them.

This is so basic. I'm shocked to see you had to explain it to girls here who don't understand what feminism actually stands for when I'm aware of it despite being a man myself. This is really worrisome.

I wanted to point it out yesterday but some people if the comments specially when I talked my own experiences discredited it to be fake feminism and was aghast by the ignorance and disrespect, so I let it.

But whoever pointed it out Thank you for speaking up.

Feminism is about equality of sexes. The sweep generalisation is incorrect and gross to say the least and is a way of discrediting actual feminism. Because be it on paper or theory it advocates for equality of sexes. It emphasis on women because women has been at the receiving end if patriarchal suppression for eons. We should all be rightly grateful to the women before us who bravely spoke up, fought for their rights to education, to vote, to work etc. lets not even forget women couldn’t even vote even in the most developed countries until the turn if last century.

Chauvinism is an extreme manifestation of male superiority whereas feminism is about equality and equal opportunity for all. Its not man-hating or about dominating men. It’s about bargaining for equal rights as them because you admit it or not women aren’t treated equals, they don’t get the same rights be it in the work place or home and many ppl here have already shared their lived experiences as to how skewed the power structure is in a patriarchal husband- wife relation.

Feminism is not misandry, its a common misconception ans argument to bring down the whole movement. Feminism fights against patriarchy where men are unequally vested with power to make decisions on women. Just because one might not have experience sexism, misogyny or abuse that doesn’t invalidate the struggles of others. The misconceptions around feminism in particular is worrying.

I hope your friend finds strength and soon be a better place than she is already. Yes absolutely TV needs more progressive content because violence/ abuse gets normalised and deeply entrenched in our psyche through visual media. Changes are happening slowly yet surely

More love and power to you

Rose

Originally posted by: BBFanForever

This is so basic. I'm shocked to see you had to explain it to girls here who don't understand what feminism actually stands for when I'm aware of it despite being a man myself. This is really worrisome.

I stayed clear of the conversation fearing how it can turn out to be a bitter argument, but it’s essential to clear the misconception.

Originally posted by: janecastle

Feminism, radical or otherwise, in paper or practice, is about the EQUALITY of gender and not the superiority of one gender over another. People who think otherwise don't understand the term feminism and should not be called feminists. It has become a common practice these days to make out feminism into something negative, something it is not.

Coming to movies and shows, there are many of them which ACTUALLY depict what true women empowerment is. Even in the type of movies you mentioned, it is the CHOICE of the women to do such things, like it is the choice of men, even if they have nothing to do with empowerment.

The thing is, feminism is not about the superiority of one gender over the other. Feminists don't aim to suppress men or dominate men in any way. All they want is equal rights for women. It is the problem of people if they can't understand this very simple point. Feminism stands against patriarchy and NOT men. So let's not spread misconceptions like feminists are against men or are trying to dominate them.

Thank you for speaking out. I had a bitter experience while starting the convo and stayed clear though I really wanted to talk about it. Thank you for saying this because its just impossible to compare as despicable as chauvinism to something that advocates equality of sexes, Feminism. The struggles and choices won by Feminism should alone deter such comparisons. Its sad how feminism is misinterpreted to suit the narrative of misandry or men hating these days because its not.

They are shows that embodies women empowerment be it any medium and slowly but surely fierce women are being portrayed on screen. Yes women drinking, hooking up or smoking (its their choice, I am no one to impose my ethical standards on them) but can’t be used to discredited the whole feminist movement. Because feminism has indeed helped a lot of women to find their voice, to pursue education and to chase their dream jobs.

Feminism is not about suppressing or hating men. Nobody intends to do that. It fights against patriarchy and patriarchal mindset because women are suppressed more. Infact feminists all around has been the first to talk about struggles of men too- be it physical abuse of me, their mental health, right of LGBTQ , environmental rights etc. I genuinely hope there’s more awareness about feminism and its struggles than generalising statements or localised egs to discredit the whole movement.

Thank you for starting the conversation

Love always

Rose

Originally posted by: Bechain_Bulbul

Chauvinism and feminism, both are extreme thought processes.

One cant be a reply to another

World always require balanced approach.

Chauvinism is outdated, cruel and degrading behaviour while feminism in its true essence is , was and always will be about equality.

The author Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche has the perfect answer in my opinion to why it’s christened feminism and not equality . We are naming the problem. The problem has been that society has ignored, mistreated, downtrodden, physically abused, threatened, raped , tortured and killed women for the crime of being born with the XX gene or choosing to be a woman later in life. The hardships that men face in the society - emotions ignored, mental health ignored etc etc have a direct link to women being at the receiving end of the same. When we ask our boys to buck up, don’t cry like a girl, don’t be like a girl, when mother’s wait hand and feet on their sons, when sons are allowed to behave absolutely abhorrently - they raise damaged men by teaching that females are second class citizens. The good men of the world are born by unlearning years of bias. That has been possible because FEMINISTS have been willing to name the problem and fight for it.

I used to be a woman scornful of feminism until my fellow women taught me better. Now I am learning to identify the different layers of feminism - the exclusionary Savarna feminism, the feminism of the marginilized etc etc while adamantly making sure I raise feminist sons.

So yes, FEMINISM is the answer.

Originally posted by: UmIbrahim

Chauvinism is outdated, cruel and degrading behaviour while feminism in its true essence is , was and always will be about equality.

The author Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche has the perfect answer in my opinion to why it’s christened feminism and not equality . We are naming the problem. The problem has been that society has ignored, mistreated, downtrodden, physically abused, threatened, raped , tortured and killed women for the crime of being born with the XX gene or choosing to be a woman later in life. The hardships that men face in the society - emotions ignored, mental health ignored etc etc have a direct link to women being at the receiving end of the same. When we ask our boys to buck up, don’t cry like a girl, don’t be like a girl, when mother’s wait hand and feet on their sons, when sons are allowed to behave absolutely abhorrently - they raise damaged men by teaching that females are second class citizens. The good men of the world are born by unlearning years of bias. That has been possible because FEMINISTS have been willing to name the problem and fight for it.

I used to be a woman scornful of feminism until my fellow women taught me better. Now I am learning to identify the different layers of feminism - the exclusionary Savarna feminism, the feminism of the marginilized etc etc while adamantly making sure I raise feminist sons.

So yes, FEMINISM is the answer.

YES YES YES, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING WHAT YOU SAID♥️♥️

Same I have been wary if feminism when I was naive thanks to the common narrative but women around me taught me better and I am so lucky to have been in the company of them.

Chimamanda Adiche 😭😭♥️♥️Is truly an icon, her interviews and books are an inspiration (except some recent statements🙈).

Yes feminism is so multilayered- the dalit feminism has been very vocally critical about upper class feminism and rightly so. This is the beauty of it. Everyone finds their voice and is struggling to dismantle the boundaries set for them by patriarchal society. You have no idea how happy your post made me. It feels wonderful. Yes learning and unlearning the bias is a crucial crux in feminism for men, women and LGBTQ+

yes raising feminist sons and daughters, this is making me cry. So much in awe if the Feminist you are. I was honestly distraught by some comments but some if you are making me feel so happy, content and hopeful

Love and more power to you

Rose

Agreed.

He is a passive abuser. Most of his family members are a bunch of abusers too.

He emotionally blackmails Sai into forgiving him and then repeats the same thing again. The first time he held Sai's hand like that...he had to be told by his mother that what he did to Sai was wrong. That he is as good(bad) as his father for treating his wife in that manner. Since then his character arc has gone down in my eyes.

Originally posted by: Rosekutty12

YES YES YES, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING WHAT YOU SAID♥️♥️

Same I have been wary if feminism when I was naive thanks to the common narrative but women around me taught me better and I am so lucky to have been in the company of them.

Chimamanda Adiche 😭😭♥️♥️Is truly an icon, her interviews and books are an inspiration (except some recent statements🙈).

Yes feminism is so multilayered- the dalit feminism has been very vocally critical about upper class feminism and rightly so. This is the beauty of it. Everyone finds their voice and is struggling to dismantle the boundaries set for them by patriarchal society. You have no idea how happy your post made me. It feels wonderful. Yes learning and unlearning the bias is a crucial crux in feminism for men, women and LGBTQ+

yes raising feminist sons and daughters, this is making me cry. So much in awe if the Feminist you are. I was honestly distraught by some comments but some if you are making me feel so happy, content and hopeful

Love and more power to you

Rose

In my opinion we NEED MORE FEMINISTS.

Also I made a gross misstatement and would like to sincerely apologize to any woman/man it hurts. Trans women / men have always been Men/ women. They only get to actualize that identity later because of how effed up us cis- het people are to them.

Deepest apologize to any trans/gender fluid person on here.