The Mumbai Trip - Part II (Final Part) - Page 4

Originally posted by: panchjun5

Hey Opti...Had read the first part yesterday and found it truly sensuous...I love the way you bring out the subtle nuances in a marital relationship...the sexual tension, the feeling of passion, the total submission...excellent...For Geet, this was not the first time with her Maan, so when he made advances, she completely submitted to him...for her, it was like finding an oasis of love in the midst of a dry thorny desert...

Perfectly described. Yes, Geet remembers the times she has been intimate with her man and having been deprived of that closeness for so long, she more than welcomed it when he approached her.

But for Maan it was the first time and it was totally physical (according to him) for him...So he decide to stop himself...And that must have taken a really strong willpower...which he has...

Yes, stopping in the nick of time is more difficult for a man than a woman but then our Maan has a steely willpower.

But later when he was alone, the man that he is he immediately realised what his action must have done to Geet and went to soothe her ...but was too late...

Yes, he realised what he did was wrong but she had cried herself to sleep before he could really apologise to her.

I wish the CVs took a note from your writing and implemented it in their own screenplay...Wish Wish WIsh...Hmmm...

Coming to the second part, The morning after...excellently depicted with the kind of back to square one scenario for both of them... Maan's guilt and inner turmoil and Geet's hurt at his rejection was very well portrayed...Geet found her inner strength and became what she is today because of what Maan said and did in the past...For her, he is her everything ...and when he rejected her...she suddenly felt worthless and completely lost...

Bang on yet again. It is difficult for anyone to face rejection and Geet having gone through so much and for whom Maan was everything, a rejection from him hurt her very badly.

And when Maan saw her lying in the foetal position on the bed in the hotel...he realised, how much he had hurt her and went about rectifying his mistake...I loved the lines..."I do not want to merely fall in love with you, but rise in it. Rising is, however, slow and arduous, requiring a lot of effort and perseverance which I am willing to put in. Will you give me the time to understand you better and rise in love with you?" ...Beautiful, Beautiful lines...And once Geet got to know the reason behind her man's actions...she was willing to wait for him...forever and a day...😊

Thanks Kavi. Geet will do anything for her man and especially after being so clearly explained to by him, there wasn't any hesitation on her part to give him the time he needed.

Opti, wish the CVs would show us something like this...but knowing the CVs and their propensity to do exactly opposite of that which we wish...I truly fear we are going to be shown something inane...Anyways, will be happy that with your OS, atleast I was able to imagine what it would be like if Maan and Geet were to enact this and I will satisfy myself with that...😆😆...

I write these fics to fulfill what I want to see on screen.

So once again, I have blabbered on and on after reading your OS...And I will stop by saying that...You are too good...😊...👏Thanks Kavi. Always a pleasure to read what you have to say.

Originally posted by: monikaseth

awesome... 😃

Originally posted by: Boogleton.Schiz

Beautifully written Opti 👏

My chest literally constricted when I read how she felt cheap- you could feel her pain in every word, hats of to you.

And Maan's guilt, he realised the impact of his actions, how much it really hurt her.

I'm glad he explained to her he didn't want to submit into the final union until he 'rises' in love with her.

Now if only the CV's could come up with something like this!

Originally posted by: mystique_girl

nice one, Opti...you've been missing from the scene for quite long...where have you been ?😃

Originally posted by: -Saruu-

Amazinggg Parttt👏

Originally posted by: khwaishfan

Hi dear...U back on IF! Lovely OS! Read both parts nw. As usual. beautifully written, u have a way wid words lol. Hey when wil u strat another FF/SS? Do pm wen u do! 😉 Will there b an apilogue for dis?