ArShi SS: In Your Eyes/ Link to thread #2 on page 1 - Page 52

Wish you all a very happy Baisaki, Bihu, Tamil New Year and Vishu !!

Chapter 7

"You should have heard him sing Payaliya ! And I can't explain how his voice was laced with melancholy and longing when he spoke to Veena about his mother."

Payal rubbed her forehead. Although Shyam would be arriving late in the night from Chandigarh, Khushi had asked her to stay with her one more night. As they both had settled down to retire for the night, Khushi had started her analysis of a certain Raizada and she has been on it for the past half an hour. Payal occasionally participated in her "Mission: dissect-the-personality-of-Arnav-Singh-Raizada" with a hmm' and oh' wherever applicable, but Khushi was totally unaware of the amusement she had been generating for her friend.

"He said that he learnt to sing from his mother. His voice gave away the possibility of having stayed out of practice for a long time, but it was evident that he still had his natural ability to sing intact."

"You are confusing me Khushi. Does he sing well or not?"

"Oho Payal! Are you paying attention or not? What am I trying to say here?"

"Yeah that's exactly what I want to know. What are you trying to say Khushi?"

Khushi leaned back on her pillow and sighed resignedly.

"I don't know Payal. Why did he have to come today? There is something about his voice that makes it difficult for me to understand the enigma that Arnav is."

"So you are intrigued and want to know more about him"

Khushi straightened up and almost shrieked. "No! No, I mean, why would I want to know about Arnav?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

Khushi lay her head on the pillow. "Psst. He unnerves me Payal. When I talk to him, I feel comforted and nervous at the same time. This...this is new...I...I am not used to feeling like this before. He is ...he is...I don't know, I don't want to know. Yes. I don't want to know."

Payal suppressed the laughter that was threatening to erupt from her. She was enjoying her friend's state of mind. Finally, Khushi was on the track to feel one of the primary emotions that defined mankind, Love.

She lay besides Khushi and took her hand in hers.

"Khushi, can I give you a piece of advice?"

"Mmm."

"Stop worrying too much. It is perfectly fine to experience these emotions. It means you are normal. Are you listening?"

"Yes"

"You are restless, because you haven't interacted much with men outside your family or SPARC. Once you settle down in a comfortable friendship with him, you will be alright."

"You think so?"

"I know so"

Khushi turned over to her side and put her arm around Payal's waist and mulled over Payal's words before falling into a comfortable slumber.

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"I am only telling you Dadi that if you ignore her lack of sight, the girl has everything that Nannav needs to get back himself. He is affected deeply by her and if my instincts are right, she is affected by him too."

"But Akash Bitwa! Raizada family's eldest daughter-in-law, a visually challenged? Maaji, how?" Manorama raised her concern.

"Maa, who is talking about marriage now? But if we have to discuss the pros and cons of this hypothetical situation, let me ask you, what is important? Nannav's happiness or Raizada pride? And moreover she lost her sight in an accident. Even if we get a perfectly normal girl for Nannav, what is the guarantee that such a thing will not happen after wedding? Or what if it is not Khushi but your Son who is challenged?"

"Don't say such things Akash. Nothing will happen to Arnav Bitwa." Manorama said.

"Maa, all that I am trying to say is that Khushi is a very nice girl. She is the only one, according to me, who is capable of taming the Arnav Singh Raizada."

Anjali guffawed at that, which was returned by an annoyed glare from Akash.

"He is still your hero, isn't he? All the arguments, complaints, irritations are a facade."

"He never stopped being one Di. He was my role model then. He is, now. But Di, that's not the point."

"Alright Akash Bitwa! All we want is Chote's happiness. But things have not progressed to a stage to warrant this discussion. Lets see. If this is what Chote wants, then that is what he will get. I agree with you that nothing else matters where his happiness is concerned. Isn't it Manorama?"

"Yes Maaji! If she is the one who can give bitwa his long lost happiness, then we will welcome her with open mind into our family. And by Devi Maiyya's Grace, if bitiya also agrees to get married, then..." Manorama trailed fearing Anjali's reaction, but was surprised to see Anjali pretending to not listen to the conversation, yet blushing a deep shade of red on her cheeks which she tried to hide with her phone. Manorama turned to her mother-in-law questioningly to which Devyani nodded understandingly and replied,

"All good things will happen when the time is right, Manorama. I will consider myself blessed if Devi Maiyya keeps me alive to see my grandkids settle down in their lives."

Akash sat beside Devyani and side-hugged her, "You are going to be alive to see your grandkids' wedding Dadi. If you want I can help to make one of your dreams come true as early as possible. What do you think?" He winked at her.

"Chal Badmaash! (Go, you rogue)" and lovingly slapped his thighs. Everyone laughed at the grandma-grandson antics. Manohar smilingly said,

"Who can manage you, you crazy? May be you can get yourself a psychiatrist bride. That will do you good."

Akash couldn't help thinking about a certain feisty doctor.

"Oh Dad! You rarely speak and when you do only precious gems come out of your mouth. In fact you gave a very good idea. Because it will be helpful for our entire family that is full of people of varying degree of craziness."

The room erupted into hearty laughter.

The conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Arnav entered his Nani's room which was filled with every member of their family, except perhaps Hariprakash, he thought. He looked at Akash briefly and then shifting his gaze to his Di, asked in a low voice,

"Is it a no-party day in Delhi? How come we are graced by the presence of esteemed people?"

The lively mood in the room instantly sobered and so did Akash. "I have to make a call. I will leave now. Good night!" Akash told to no one in particular and left not wanting to end the day on a bitter note, while Manorama and Manohar sighed. Anjali expressed her displeasure at Arnav's jibe, which was as usual ignored. Arnav sat in front of his Nani on the bed. He had a file in hand.

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"Why do you insist I call you Nannav when everyone tells me I should call you Bhai?"

A seven year old Akash asked a nine year old Arnav. He had as usual come to visit his cousins for the summer vacation.

"Because Akki, you have been calling me that ever since you started to talk. I still remember how everyone laughed when you first called me that. I can't accept any other name for me from you. And Bhai? Forget it. I am only two years elder to you."

"How about Nannav, mere bhai?"

"No! Just Nannav. Now come on don't waste time. My friends will be waiting to fly kites"

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"Nannav! Can I try your new remote car?"

"How many times should I tell you Akki? Whatever that is mine is yours. You don't have to ask."

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"Nannav, what are we doing here on the tree top?"

A twelve year old Akash asked Arnav very worriedly.

"Why? Scared of falling down and scrapping your knee. You are such a sissy Akki."

"You are waiting for that girl, aren't you?"

"Which one?"

"How many are there?"

"Damn Akki, just shut up. She will be here anytime."

"So?"

"Arnav?" A girl called from the ground.

"Oh Khanak! Hi!"

"What are you doing up there?"

"Plucking some raw mangoes?"

"Arnav! Can you get me a few?"

"Of course dear. Why do you think I took so much pains to get here?"

Arnav took a small bag full of mangoes and got down the tree swiftly.

The girl collected the bag with a shy smile and went away with her friend.

Arnav looked up at Akash who was still perched on the tree and winked proudly.

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"Nannav! Why don't you and Di come and stay with us for some time? A change of place will certainly do you both good. Isn't it Dad, Dadi?"

A sixteen year old Arnav, who had just lost his parents was huddled against Anjali Di. He was vacantly looking at his mother's portrait that hung on the opposite wall.

"Yes, children. You have one more month for your school and college to resume. Come with us."

"Take them away Maaji! And don't ever send them back, if you want to see them alive."

At the doorstep stood Ahalya Mallik with a duffel bag in her hand.

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"Nannav! See what I got for you. Your favorite chocochip cookies"

No response.

"Nannav. Just have a look. It's freshly baked. I got it from the baker down the road"

Arnav got up from the chair he was seated and without looking at Akash, walked past him to go out of the room he shared with him when Akash stopped him by holding on to his hand.

"Wait Nannav, please."

Arnav shrugged Akash's hand and walked out of the room after replying emotionlessly,

"They are not my favorite anymore."

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"What are you searching for, Nannav?"

"My record note books"

"They are in Di's room. I gave her to cover them. She does it for you always, isn't it?"

"You should have asked me before touching my things, Akash"

"Akash? When did Akki become Akash? And weren't you the one who told me that I don't need to ask you before handling your things?"

Arnav glared at him and left the room angrily

----------------------

"Nannav! I cant wait for tomorrow. We will both go to the school together. Oh! How excited I am?"

"We aren't going together. I have my coaching classes in the morning and I will come to school directly from there. You don't have to wait for me."

"Oh! Okay, I will come to the coaching class and we can go from there."

"Can't you understand when I said we aren't going together? Stop clinging to me and for god sake leave me alone."

"Nannav! I was just..."

"Stop calling me that. I am not Nannav. Call me bro, if calling me is inevitable"

Arnav stormed out of the room leaving behind a visibly shaken Akash on the verge of tears

------------------.

"Why do you have to take our opinion Bitwa? This is your mother's. And that too your share of her money. You can do whatever you want with it."

"No Nani! Nana had told me once that he gave Maa a great deal of properties and Jewels during her marriage. And this particular piece of property was earmarked for Mama. But after Maa's...Maa's death, when we turned up at your doorstep penniless, Mama and Mami were magnanimous enough to allow you to allocate a share of what was rightfully his, to us."

Manorama swallowed some of Arnav's words like bitter pill and interrupted, "But Bitwa, you have given back whatever was given to you in multitude."

Nani stopped Manorama and addressed Arnav lovingly, "Okay bitwa, you want our permission to use this money for the project? You have it."

Arnav nodded and with an after thought added, "But Nani! Akash?"

Mama agitatedly started, "Akash? What has..." only to be stopped again by Nani.

"To know what he thinks, bitwa, you should try to find out yourself"

The finality in her voice ended all possibilities of further discussion. Arnav took the file and reluctantly went to have the long due conversation with his kid brother, the one he had been putting off for too long.

-------------------

Devyani Raizada was a strong woman. She had no other option. Many a time she wished her husband was with her to give her the much needed mental strength. She willed herself to remain strong when her daughter died unable to bear heartbreak leaving behind two broken children, when her granddaughter put up a pretense of having collected herself and smiled for the sake of her family, her grandson who was the personification of fun, frolic and liveliness, turned into a zombie who went about doing his duty to his family and building his business empire. But nothing could match her sorrow when Akash started falling apart after Arnav slowly retracted into his self-made world and unintentionally ousted everyone out of his emotional world except Anjali. She remembered Akash as a shy, reserved child, who opened up only to his cousin brother. He was never vocal about his thoughts even to his parents except for his Nannav with whom he had loads to talk when either of them visited the other. While all efforts from Manohar, Manorama, herself and her husband to strike a conversation with him were met with monosyllabic words from the boy, a phone call from Arnav would convert him into a chatter box. Often, Harivansh Raizada would call Arnav to make him ask his grandson about the happenings in school, so that they could keep updated about their grandson's school life.

But everything changed one day after Arnav and Anjali had come to live with them following Divya's demise. Arnav was unresponsive to anyone. While the adults understood his grief, young Akash could not cognize that his Nannav needed time and space to come out his misery. He believed that he was the only person who could retrieve his Nannav. Unfortunately the more he tried to reach to Arnav, the more he got pushed away.

She was brought out of her reverie by her son's voice. "Amma, what is the need to ask for Akash's opinion? Why are you encouraging Arnav's foolish thoughts?"

"Manohar, keep calm. I know what I am doing. This is the only way to break the ice between your sons. They need to talk. Arnav should know what he has unknowingly done to his brother."

"But Amma, if Akash says something, Arnav will be broken all over again"

"Trust my judgment and experience bitwa. Everything will be alright"

-----------------

"Looks like the Raizada has suddenly been blessed with an elder brother"

Rocky spewed venom at his arch rival, Akash. He had had a strong competitor in Akash where academic performance was concerned, but the introvert never reacted to any of his jibes or taunts making it difficult to provoke him.

"How come we haven't known about him Akash? Where did he suddenly appear from? As far as we know your dad doesn't have a brother. Then how come he shares your surname? Are you sure you have not discovered a half brother recently? If yes, then what does it make him? A ba**...?"

Rocky didn't complete the word because of the hard slap that landed on his cheek making him disoriented for several minutes.

"Go and report this incident to the Principal if you have guts, Rocky. I am sure you don't want your dad to know what splendid words his son has added to his vocabulary."

----------------

"Hi! That was an awesome slap. You know we found the entire thing of defending your brother, very charming."

"Charming?"

"Okay, you can say, manly, kind of ..."

"Sexy?" Akash surprised himself.

"Woah!! You sure know to talk and how?!"

"You can say that I am discovering myself"

"By the way, you know we are all in your class right? I won't be surprised if you didn't know. What with you being so reserved and all."

"Oh girls! That's embarrassing. Of course I know you all. You are Akanksha, right?"

"Oh God! Akash! I am Mridula. This is Akanksha. And this is Hridaya and she is Vallarie"

"Hi girls"

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"What the hell happened to Mridula? How can she ditch us in the last moment?"

"Her nani has suddenly fallen sick Akash and she had to go with her parents."

"Now what do we do, Vihaan?"

"Hey relax Akash, I have found a replacement from the Bio group. Her name is Payal Sharma. She is willing to act Mridula's part"

"Payal Sharma? I don't remember knowing her."

"She has joined only this year and keeps to herself. She is quite a bookworm."

"Then how did she agree to do the play? Don't tell me you worked your charms on her."

"No buddy, she is a tough nut. She agreed on a condition"

"And that is?"

"To spend coming Friday ..."

"Ooo!! Great going buddy"

"Listen to me fully guys. To spend coming Friday in a nearby school as scribe. Some blind students are giving their exams."

Akash stared at Vihaan for a longer minute before bursting out into laughter. All the other boys and some girls joined him.

"Stop it guys. She is trying to help and moreover when was the last time we did something noble like this?" Hridaya reprimanded the boys.

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"I am sorry Payal! I couldn't come to record the audio lessons. I fell sick."

"It's okay Akash. Happens. But pray tell me, who did I see in Sonia's sister's birthday party pics?"

"Actually Payal..."

"Its fine Akash. You didn't want to come. So you didn't. Of course, I would be a fool to expect everyone to have the same sense of responsibility as mine towards a fellow human being. But what hurts more is that you lied for not being able to come. And I hate liars."

"Payal you are overreacting. For God's sake we are only 17. And I am not born with Mother Theresa's instincts. I value my freedom and I can't pretend to be noble just to win your friendship."

"Thanks for being so honest, Akash. You are right. I have no right to mess up with your freedom. But please spare me from your friendship. I am better off without a selfish person like you. I hope I never meet you again."

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The room was filled with a faint light coming from the night lamp. Arnav saw Akash lying down on the recliner clutching a photo album to his chest and eyes closed. He wasn't sure if he was asleep or not, but decided to leave not wanting to disturb him. As he was about to exit the room, he heard his brother calling out to him.

"Bro?"

Arnav reluctantly turned around and came inside again. Akash switched on the lights to see that Arnav held a file in his hand. And hesitation in his eyes.

"You wanted something? I wasn't asleep. I was just lost in ...Anyway, what is it?"

"I am leaving for Agra tomorrow. I would be back in three days, only to fly immediately to London."

"I know Bro."

"Yeah. I came to ask for something"

"When have you had the need to ask me? You only have to tell."

"You remember Ajay Shukla at SPARC mentioned about the objective behind the fund raiser?"

Akash nodded not knowing where the conversation was headed. Arnav continued, "The residential school they are planning to build for physically and mentally challenged kids, requires huge funding, which they are hoping to get through donors. Shukla had mailed me the details in the evening as I had asked him."

Arnav handed him the file which had the printouts of Shukla's email.

"There is something I want to do. I have spoken to everyone at home but you."

"Whatever you want me to do, I will do. You know that."

Arnav began hesitantly "You may remember that since Nana did not have a will, Nani decided to set aside a share of Nana's property to me and Di when we came to live here, a part of which I had sold to fund my abroad education. You also know that I had later replenished the amount. I am now thinking of donating a part of it to SPARC for their residential school project. Although legally I am entitled to use the money, morally I feel that money still belonged to Nana and since you are his rightful grandson, I felt I should..."

"Please say no more."

Only then Arnav noticed that his brother was looking at him with hurt written all over his face. "Don't say anymore and effectively destroy whatever little is left of Akash in me."

Arnav averted his eyes, unable to see the raw pain in his brother's eyes.

"Rightful grandson." Akash said with a wistful smile.

"I fervently hope that you didn't tell that to dad and mom. Has it ever occurred to you that the day dad brought you and di here, he brought home his daughter and eldest son and not his niece and nephew? Were you aware of the tears that mom shed when you refused to take her jewels to fund your education and instead opted to take Dadaji's money? Do you know how heartbroken dad was when you retuned that money to him from your first ever profit? Do you even know that they still hope that one day you will come to think of them as your parents and not your mama and mami?"

Emotions clogged Arnav's throat. "Akash! It is not like ..."

"Please don't call me that. I die a little more everytime you call me Akash."

Akash turned away from Arnav and started pacing the room while he continued his tirade. Arnav had effectively opened the gates of the dam that had been kept closed for years.

"Do you have any idea what I have become to fill the void that you left in my life when you became Arnav Singh Raizada from Arnav Mallik? Wallowing in grief and betrayal, you stopped being the anchor that you were to me. Used to your presence, either physically or emotionally for 14 years, I didn't know how to handle a life with a brother who lived under the same roof as mine but had become just a shadow of his former self, one who was always there but never there for me. I tried everything in my capacity to bring back the former lively, flirty, happy-go-lucky boy who I adored once. But when I miserably failed, I found myself suffocating in my world that was devoid of my Nannav. Have you ever thought how a recluse, reserved and introvert Akash became a lively, spirited extrovert boy suddenly? Because I found solace in being you. I found you in myself when I tried to mimic you and ultimately I lost my identity. You often criticize me for wasting away my life with my friends and in parties. Whom do I come home to? To a brother who snatched away every happiness in my life by turning me out completely from his, who made me feel unwanted? To whom it didn't matter anymore whether I am alive or "

"Enough" Arnav whispered brokenly.

Akash snapped his head towards Arnav to find him sitting defeatedly on the bed with his head bent and at that moment Akash didn't bother about the tears that rolled down his cheeks. He closed his eyes in frustration realizing what he had just blurted in anger and desperation. But he had endured the hell for long. He could take no more. He came and kneeled in front of Arnav and asked him softly.

"You acknowledge that I am your brother in your business, through the stakes, the innumerable properties that you buy in my name, the profit shares and what not. But is it so difficult to understand that I don't want all these, all I want is a place in your life, just like the way I had 12 years back?"

Arnav had his head bent still as he answered his brother, "I didn't want history to repeat itself."

Akash took a moment for the implication to sink in. He then said in a pleading voice,

"Please tell me you didn't just compare me with Avinash Mallik."

"No, I just compared myself with Arvind Mallik"

Akash took some time to comprehend what he was saying. When it dawned, he was shell shocked. So it was self loathe. His brother had been trying to protect everyone in his family from himself. He thought he may inadvertently be his father's son and break their hearts just like how Arvind Mallik broke his family's all those years ago.

"You are not your father's son. You are bua's son. Bua's son can never hurt anyone, not through actions, not through words, not through..."

Arnav raised his eyes to meet his brother's. And for the first time in so many years, Akash didn't see grief or coldness in his brother's eyes. He saw guilt.

"It looks like I have done just that and I have done it for so long, which I didn't even realize, did I? See, I didnt even have to try. It must have been in the blood."

Akash reached out to Arnav desperately.

"Trust me, I didn't mean to hurt you Nannav. I am sorry, I said all those things to you. It just came out like that. I...I..."

Arnav smiled sorely, "I certainly don't deserve a brother like you."

Akash nodded his head furiously in the negative and Arnav patted his shoulder before getting up.

"You should sleep now. So should I. Can you do me a favor? I will leave this file with you, find out from Payal the status of the project so that we can arrange to make the money available for them. Also look into the legalities of it with our team. Good night"

Akash nodded but still looked worried about how the conversation that just took place would affect Arnav. As Arnav was leaving his room, Akash called out to him, "Nannav!"

Arnav stopped in his track but before he could turn he was tightly hugged by his brother from behind. Arnav felt angry with himself for denying his brother love and affection for so long. He comfortingly patted his strong arms that encircled him.

"Give me some time. I will sincerely try to heal all that has gone sore between us"

"Nothing has gone sore between us. We have never stopped to look out for each other through the distance that developed between us. Just give me back my brother. That's more than enough."

Arnav nodded.

"And Nannav! Have you asked Mohan to drive you to Agra tomorrow? It is highly unlikely that you will get any sleep tonight. And I doubt if our conversation will be the only reason. After all, I have already started to see glimpses of my Nannav." Akash quipped with a naughty glint in his eyes.

Arnav turned around to look into his brother's eyes for a longer moment before giving him a tight hug and escaping into the sanctuary of his room for the much needed rest after an eventfully long day.

Akash smiled with relief and picked up the abandoned photo album to turn to the page where rested a photograph that had two boys in their early teens and labelled "Akki" and "Nannav" in Anjali's cursive handwriting.

He replaced the album in its place and came back to bed. After thinking over his conversation with Arnav for a long time, his thoughts flew to Payal and the interesting comment made by his dad. He shook his head at his crazy thought, but looked at the file that presented a perfect opportunity to meet her and revive the old friendship. He took the file in his hands and caressed it promising to himself that this time around, he wouldn't mess this up. He placed it on the night stand and went to sleep that was filled with dreams of him climbing trees, flying kites and recording audio lessons for blind children, with Payal sitting with him with admiration for him in her eyes.

While Anjali slept in anticipation of her upcoming informal meeting with Shyam the next day, Arnav went to bed with memories of his childhood with Akash. But as rightly guessed by Akash, the final thoughts before the Goddess of Sleep took over his sense belonged to his Angel, his Khushi.

And for the first time in years, Devyani found a ray of hope in the lives of her grandchildren and sent an extra special prayer to Devi Maiyya to help them find love and happiness in their lives.

Cheers