MG[SS]-The Yellow Dot of Eternal Joy[IMP Note Pg 1 & Pg 72] - Page 19

Originally posted by: --Shika--

Where should i start?
I thought a lot to say but this poem... this poem alone made me mute.
Awesome Poem! If i try to write anything on this, I would be a fool. I tell ya one of the cutest, loveliest poems ever!

Isn't it??!!😃 Deej i sthe bestest!!

That yellow dot in the distance,

Became the centre of my existence,

A voice full of sunshine,

Brought life back into mine.

I longed for a glimpse,

Of that curly-haired nymph,

But all that I got, was a bright sunny blur.

So I'll bide my time, till I see her

Her of that yellow dot, the one in the distance

That became so soon, the center of my existence.

I bounded up the stairs to our conference room on the third floor. As fatigue-ridden as I was in the morning, I was now filled with a brilliant red of energy boost after one hour of good food, coffee and care by Dadi.

And that yellow dot. The exuberantly cheerful yellow had certainly left its mark on my spirits; to a certain extent atleast.

I highlighted the above for two reasons.. One I really am impressed the way you describe the meaning of each color. Two am nothing them down😆

Thank you so much for noticing the colors!!! 🤗🤗

I was beginning to wonder if this is going futile...whether the colors are loosing their shine in my writing.

A cocked eyebrow and my practiced monologue died on the tip of my tongue. His tall frame towered over me dauntingly even though we had the whole expanse of the long chestnut table between us. Damn the old man! And people called me intimidating. Well, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it? Where is Chotte Papa when I need him?
This is something different! Till now no matter how many fics I read, I never came across this. I mean.. see the MSK we know is intimidating. Yes, But i always wondered how would he be before his parents if they were alive?
Till now I've seen fics in which either the parents are dead or grey shaded. But this was something new! And the lines i've underlined made me grin. Exactly like father like son..
I'm clean bowled by Dev oops Deveder singh's punch lines. Awesome one liners that Old man has!😆

Yeah...everyone keeps telling me that just like my Dad. And I always seen that the elder shild mostly becomes an exact copy of his/her father. So if Maan was from a happy family...no dark past...no troubled childhood...wouldn't it be a natural that he is a spitting image of his father in personality and character? Logical right?😆

Their friendship had begun when they were but children. And now extended to their brood of children too, two of Khuranas and three of Handas.
Hmm. Two Khuranas and three Handas. You see am making a mental note. Kyun? ye tumhe baad mein pata chalega😆

Good girl...keep up your notes!!

It was the take-Maan's-trip tone. It was times like this that the black in me wished I was ten again. When I could stomp my feet when teased mercilessly by elders. And still be oohed and aahed at. But wait how old I am now? Twenty seven. Now I will only get mocking snickers from Dad and Chotte Papa. These two derived sadistic pleasures from my sufferings. And by now I was resigned to this torture.

I laughed out loud at this line. yeah yeah I did imagine Maan stomping his foot. And i ended up rolling in my seat.

Two important things now..
One.. I loved Yash-Dev's bonding. Jai-Veeru ke nakli nahi lag rahe? 😆
Seriously Bechara Maa ko dara diya na?
Am I really calling him bechara?😆
Well I like teasing.. until and unless m not the scape goat😆
It was hilarious to see the two friends betting upon how much time it takes to scare their son. Good Idea😉
Oh BTW my secnd point is :
BEchare Dev aur Yash ko budde bana diya?
Imagining Abhinav shukla as an old man is relatively easy. I imagined him with light grey hair but imagining Jai bhanushali as an old man was hilarious. You know i find him cute actually😆

ROFL...it is your fault to imagine the original actors for the characters...don't blame me for your limited imagination skills.😛😆😈

This disaster reeked of Vicky.

My second point to note down. So, One Khurana is Maan, second seems Vicky. Two done. Now the Handas to go.

Fabulous Sherlock!!😆

I hate surprises. Particularly the ones my family springs on me. There is always a...

Hell!

Even I hate surprises. Bingo Maan. Ah don't roll your eyes. Seriously I hate surprises.
Oh BTW Wait there! This again caught my attention.
There is always a.. what?
You know how to increase the suspense don't you Suspense queen?

Lol...no suspense here...I swear!! The sentence was "there is always a catch" but he did not complete his sentence as he was blown away by seeing his nameplate as the new partner of the firm in front of him. I think I should have worded it better.

We have been waiting for this for so long. I must call...
Nanhi! Right? Nanhi it is..! I'm pleasantly surprised by the bond they share..
I don't care who Nanhi is.. you-know-why.. but seriously I'm in awe that their bond is so deep. It's a bliss to have a support like that.

Did I take Nanhi's name? It could simply mean his whole family...haina?😈

I ran my fingers over the name-plate once again. Odd! Why did it feel that it has not been virgin to a human touch? Why did my senses pick a lilac of woman's touch on from the metal?

I need not mention. I saw all your readers loved this line. So I need not mention it that it is indeed a beautiful line.

😳😳

Class that oozed from simplicity of design, it was clearly imprinted by the signature of our family's only artist. Nanhi. Her mere thought brought a smile upon my face.

Okay so it was designed by Nanhi. The room's interior dcor was done by her. What surprises me is she's the only artist. So as per my previous notings, as already two children from Khurana Khandan are done, Nanhi is from Handa parivar.
And she's the interior designer. Cool.

Yellow flowers. This single yellow dot against the brown setting of his office.

Hmm. Yellow flowers are kept in his room. Why do I feel that those are kept by Geet? She was there apparently so I strongly feel it is her who kept those flowers there. You may wonder..How does this simple thing matter?
It does matter. I'll tell you in my next comment😆

M off to read it then😆

Originally posted by: --Shika--

Pre-cap

A fragrance or a touch, on my name lingers.

I feel a warm caress of some known fingers.

A spot of yellow flowers & my memory gets a jog,

A ray of golden sunshine pierces the great fog.

The fog of distance, the passage of time,

And a bell rings, a beautiful chime.

The yellow dot turns, in my mind at last.

And a misty face smiles at me. a kin from the past.

This poem surprised me.
The underlined part.. to be specific.
You know we always have this habit of assuming things don't we? And pata hain when we're preparing for CAT our lecturers told us one thing..
Don't assume anything while you read Logical Ability. If he says When the sun rises in west..the moon sets in north..we are supposed to take it as truths and proceed. And we are asked not to assume unless it is mentioned. If we are given Sonia Gandhi, we assume she's the president of INC. It's understood although unstated and this is where we lose marks. We don't assume even though they are universal truths unless it is stated. And i am bringing up this theory as.. we tend to assume Geet as Geet Handa. It may be right. But i was not assuming her to be a Handa. There are many reasons. Some of them being.. they were like one family. So it is weird for him not recognizing her voice. He woke up with her voice remember? And I thought he should atleast recognize her from behind but then he was in half-asleep condition. So that I can understand.. but voice? What about that? But i came up with another theory this time.. voice changes with age..and if they were away for years..then it is possible that he didn't quite recognize her. As Maan was away from India to London.. it explains partly..but as stated above..these were only my assumptions which says Geet is a Handa.

But that one line in the poem strengthened my theory. So Maan knew Geet. Again this is an assumption. Obviously if Geet is a Handa there is no way in hell Maan doesn't know her. AFter all they are family friends. ISn't it?
But the PAST word makes me wonder what they shared in past. Any significance of past here?

You know the answers are all out...and its not a suspense story at all.

My heart skipped a beat as brain processed the words. "Who was she?"

"Today is my first day Sa'ab, so I did not recognize her. I did inquire though. She just smiled and replied that she belongs to this firm and left before I could ask anything further."
You are so damn clever. You made the peon new to office so that he can't say the name of her? Hmph.

Hey...he is the new partner of the firm. He has a whole new floor for himself. He should get new staff!!😆

As per the underlined words, I was wondering WHY? Why does his heart skipped a beat? There's something amiss here.
That appreciating a flower was a frivolous pursuit for the likes of me. I was only nineteen in my defense. It was only until...

Fir se shuru.. someone should ban these aadhe adhure lines. It increases my curiosity level. 😆

"Yellow orchids are bright, vigorous flowers that enrich our life with their breathtaking magnificence. Generally known as flowers of love, yellow orchids have a rare and delicate beauty that might take your mind in a land of fairytales. Also, yellow orchids are a symbol of royal elegance."

Am i reading too much into the lines or is it just me? Why do I have this feeling that they have a past?

"Have you gone mad? What was that Aditya Handa? Did you enroll in a finishing school while I was away? Where did you scrap this up from?"

Aditya Handa. My mind stopped right there.
One down in Handa parivaar Two to go.

Yeah yeah!!!!🥳

"Well, if you have to tell someone that you are disappointed at them in a subtle undercover way..."

Disappointed in me?!

Disappointed? Hmm I need not repeat my one line again and again like an old tape-recorder. You got me right. Am thinking of it!

The rich of the purple reflected back in my eyes as pride. Pride for the man my best mate has turned out to be. And yet the beige reminded me the warm, down to earth person he was and always will be.

Once again am aping at them. Aww. I am making a note of all these meanings.

I have already told you how happy you have made me!!😃🤗

"Our whole lot except one. We will celebrate your homecoming..."

Why not? Why not the one person from the lot? They are like a family so WHY NOT? Until it is something big.. maybe another appointment. or if being somewhere else..or simply..some issue? The last thing Can't be.
"Alright, see you in evening. And best of luck for Sunday."

Dog!

No matter how hard I willed, the yellow-gold of Sunday was yet beyond my reach.
I already asked you and you didn't tell me. There's something special on sunday and that has to do with Nanhi. And Nanhi-Maan has something big planned up their sleeve. Oh am impatiently waiting!😍

Waito waito!!!😆

Originally posted by: --Shika--

I was reminding myself.. "I'm not supposed to comment..no no no"
But then Bang on your notes always gets on my nerves.
Falling flat? eh?
Come near me I so wanna punch you😡
You are not supposed to decide it!
Oh yeah am angry.. I'll get back to you let me write about the update first..
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
First and foremost.. waiting.. Tell me about it.
I hate waiting.. who won't anyway.
And guess what no one made me wait for long.. or else i thought 3 months back..until one day my friend made me wait for one damn hour in bus stop. I got back to her by making her wait equally. Oh btw it wasn't intentional. Woh bas ho gaya😆
Jokes apart...
But somehow I am yet to bring myself to enjoy this ancillary benefit that my black coat licenses.
This alone shows what Maan is. Trust me there are very little Maans of FFs i came to like but all of your Maans are extremely lovable. And this Maan isn't an exception. I liked him from the beginning. You may think what've he done but i like him based on a simple fact that he puts someone above himself. Nanhi.

Lol...you find all my Maans lovable because essentially they are all the same. I am capable of adding variety to them.😆

It doesn't matter to me if Nanhi is Geet and what relation they shared. I like to read a story as a story rather than biased on the characters.. besides i do have faith on you. Yes you revealed something to me but trust me even if you didn't i would have loved it as much as i do it now..
This reminds me of Sunday. Stifling a groan, I racked my brains trying to comprehend how I put myself in that spot.
I asked you in my first comment I'm intrigued about Sunday. And you simply told me everyone looks forward for a sunday and shut me up. But now I know my assumptions were true.. Oh la la!
(Oh BTW this isn't Dirty Picture's Oh la la🤢)

Well isn't that true? Everyone has something to look forward on a Sunday. Maan has his reasons too.

Those were the only notions that float with a certainty of white above the murky waters of charcoal doubts.
I give you this👏 I know what it takes to do a simple research and you including the representation of colors in this story makes it all more beautiful..

Frankly I don't research...I simply write from whatever I know...

Jealousy.. a strong feeling. Isn't it?
You know I don't find it odd at all as Maan does for him being Jealous and for him getting bothered over something.. But trust me I understand..
sometimes with the first meet we form an impression..we form a bond.. every thing doesn't have LOGIC as one of my family members say.. Ah you have to listen to her.. she always gets logic and you can't say NO to anything she says.. No wonder she studied law.😆
Entry of Sameera! And it is obvious now.. Oh HO Oh Ho!
I'm dancing.. This is what you are. You know how to rise the curiosity in your readers. Yet you say "Writing is not my forte.."
Oh yeah I staked you so much and I do know JADTBY lines by heart and I think i merged two dialogues.. 😆

A flash of citron has me enraptured

Nothing else registers, nothing else matters

I am a BIGGG fan of your writing..but your poems are something I adore a lottt!
Eventhough i bet everyone got a mini-heart attack with the end, I am up for it. Bring it on!
Now am waiting for the next part like anything..more than that I'm ready for the comments.
*-*-*-*-*-*-
Coming to your note..

I somehow feel this story is falling flat. I was planning to make this a 7-8 part SS but now I have my doubts. Because the story ends where everything is revealed. And revelation is all that everyone is seeking.

Sorry for not replying for everyone btw. I have relatives coming over in evening. I did not have much time. Thank you for all the appreciation. For everyone who has left a comment, it does means a lot.
Everyone is seeking revealation for one reason.. to see Geet.. more than that the importance Maan gives for another female makes us, Maaneetians (as we call ourselves) protective..
But seriously Jazz why change your opinion..

consider Me.. I would crib for an update.. from you but still if you say you can't update i understand.. there's nothing wrong in WANTING and the readers naturally want the suspense to end ut the story won't progress if we do that. Isn't it?
The story is perfect with the pace.. and I would be you not to change your initial plans.. We readers have a right to crib.. But you are not supposed to draw conclusions from it. Understand?
Wait why am i giving a lecture?
Ugh i feel like a lecturer..
PS: You said you missed my comments. Didn't you?
Ab bhugto!😡

You done?😳 Oh look ...I filed my nails while I finished reading your comments..😛🤣

Originally posted by: 7thHeaven

O . . . M . . . G! You sure are a master at maintaining suspense. God! How do you do that? I had to read a lot of things twice so I don't miss anything. And now I am utterly confused. But Do I mind! Nah! Confusion makes the story more interesting. It keeps me hooked! Provided a few exceptions. Now I have no idea how will I survive the wait! Mummy!

PS: The pace of the story is just fine and darned gripping.

PPS: You do realise you weave magic with words.

Originally posted by: --Kesh--

Jazzy darling... i dont think there is anything left for me to say.. what with that nautanki Shika posting a comment as big as India it self...

Lol...the comments are longer than my law lectures🤣 Infact many times...they are longer than my updates itself!!

But darn you say the story is falling flat... flat my foot (which is actually not flat at all 😆)... its got even more intriguing. As for the suspense of Sunday.. I have some thoughts about that day... but will wait for the story to move forward instead of revealing them here.
I call it flat...well...no one notices my colors. They are so precious to me. Its like my kids are in talent show and no one seems interested in their act. Lol!!!!! Don't mind me...I plead tonsils!!🤣

Waiting for the next part eagerly...

Originally posted by: spvd

part 4
u r evil do u know that dear...
God the suspense is killing...
who is Nanhi and the yellow girl all making so curious that i bang my head when u still dont reveal it...
Sameera hmm interesting...
cont soon dear...
the story is going good dear and the curiosity absolutely kills...
keep going...

Originally posted by: Remya_Pillai

i em really reading all the parts again..

i em confused so much...

but i luv ds confusion yaar..just brilliant..

Originally posted by: maaneetsangel

awesome ... superb ...

thnx 4 d pm ...

continue soon ...