~|Royal Love-Numbed wid Pain|*VeEraFF*|~Note_49~ - Page 4

It had truly been an unusual day for her..Like everyday she got up early, went to the well nearby to fill the water..buh then she saw his face in the well as she pulled out the water from it..

As she walked back to the ashram..she felt sumone following her..buh wheneva she turned she saw no one..While cooking lunch for herself n Shaurya..she found him luking at her and the kid wiv an unseen expression in those mesmerizing brown eyes?

All the while she kept feeling as if sumone was luking at her..She becam vaguely conscious of her own self..she became conscious of her own breaths, she cud hear her own heartbeats..the rustle if the clothes on her skin..She was becuming too cautious..Luking behind each moment trying to find out the one who was making her feel so uncomfortable..

Maya maa surprised her saying she was keeping a function today n they all wud hav a gala time..sum nomads (banjara's) had dropped by n thus for having happy times she agreed to attend the Mehfil tht night..

The scenario outside was so beautiful..yet..inside she was feeling crap..

Everywhere she luked she found him..When she was getting ready for the Late night ( afta maya maa insisted on her to get ready beautifully givin the reason as so many people..n she was a princess..n all sorts of tins)..she saw him staring at her in the mirror..expressing thru his eyes tht she luked beautiful..Unable to keep the contact..due to the memories it brought back..She closed her eyes for a moment and then when she opened it she found a friend of hers luking at her smiling..

She quickly got up and wivout even luking once at her reflection moved away wiv her..

*******************************************

Ek bewafa ke jakhmon per marhum lagane hum gaye-2

marhum ki kasam marhum na mila

marhum ki jagah mar hum gayyye!!! (in the shayari tone)

jaa bewafa jaa hume pyar nahi karna

jaa bewafa jaa hume pyar nahi karna

tanha hi jeeyenge hum jab hain tanha marna.....

jaa bewafa jaa hume pyar nahi karna-2

( it was purely like a mehfil..everyone was enjoying the depth of the song and was wondering how it was to love and were pitying those who had found love in sumone who didn't reciprocate an ounce of tht love..Listening to the song..taking in the depth of it..she cudn't help buh relate herself wiv the person..The only difference was tht it was a man singing wht she was goin thru in the depth of her heart..)

dil ne teri puja ki

dil ne tujhko rab maana

dil ki yeh naadani thi jo dil hi toh naa jaana.....

( Even she was compelled to think of it..She had taken him to be her god..she had adored him more than anyone else..buh it was all her mistake..She cudn't understand wht he ever wanted..)

naa toh majboori hain... na toh majboori hain koi,

naa toh laachari hain... na toh majboori hain koi,

naa toh laachari hain..... bewfai teri pedayishi beemari hain !!!

dil ne teri puja ki

dil ne tujhko rab maana

dil ki yeh naadani thi jo dil hi toh naa jaana.....

jab chot lagi toh yeh jaana...jhootha tha har afsana ( fighting back the tears fiercely)

aa.aaa arey.....jaa bewafa jaa hume pyar nahi karna-2

Naa kisi ka ab aakhen

dekhengi koi sapna

naa kisi harjaai koh,hum kahenge ab apna

yeh dekhna hain...yeh dekhna hain kahani kaha badlati hain

yeh dekhna hain kahani kaha badalti hain

abhi talak toh vahi bewfai karta hain

naa kisi ka ab aakhen

dekhengi koi sapna

naa kisi harjaai koh,hum kahenge ab apna

kya apna kya begana..........sabko humne pahechana

(She was battling wiv the raging storm of emotions inside her from the very morning..As if thinking of him wasn't enuf tht she kept seeing him..and now tis song..It so told her feelings and whteva she felt..and sumwhere she related herself wiv the song..It was compelling her to think and rethink of him..and then when she cud take it no mre..cudn't control the emotions she tried to keep bottled up from so many days..before breaking into the ridiculous urge to cry..she turned unsteadily and fled away to the safety of her soltitude..)

jaa bewafa jaa hume pyar nahi karna

jaa bewafa jaa hume pyar nahi karna

tanha hi jeeyenge hum jab hain tanha marna.....

jaa bewafa jaa hume pyar nahi karna-2

*******************************************

( Note: Shera keeps crying all the while..doesn't stop for even sum time..imagine it in tht way..plz)

" Shh!!! Chup ho ja..Itni der se ro rahi hai..shh!! chup ho ja.." Maya maa coaxed her so tht she stopped crying..

Her tiny frame shook violently as she kept crying hysterically into the pillow..Seeing her in such a condition his heart flipped painfully..

" Shh!! Kya hua?? Kyun ro rahi ho aise..??" Maya maa asked gently moving her hand thru her hair to calm her down..

She buried herself in Maya Maa's lap and poured her heart out..

" Humare saath hi aisa kyun ho raha hai..Humne aisi kya galti ki ki hai..aisi kya kami hai hum mein..Ki voh?" She sobbed loudly.. " Humare saath..hi kyun.."

" Tujhmein koi kharabi nahi hai meri bachi?kuch bhi nahi?tu bohot achi hai..tujhmein koi kharabi nahi..sab" tears brimmed in her eyes seeing her child in such a condition..

" Yeh sirf app kehti hai maa..unki nazroon mein toh hum humesha se kharab hi hai.."

Crying..and mentally loosing herself she didn't realize when she actually spoke out of wht she was feeling..

" Dekha..kaha tha na maine..tu abb bhi usey chahti hai..yeh tu kaise keh sakti hai ki tu usey pasand hai ya nahi..aur yeh ki voh tujhe abb nahi chahta.."

" Kyunki humein pata hai..aur humare chahne na chahne se kuch faraq nahi padta..kuch bhi nahi hota..kuch bhi nahi.."

"Aisa nahi hai meri bachi.."

" App har baar yahi kehti hai ki shayad voh humein chahne lage ho..toh phir voh abb tak humein lene kyun nahi aye..Isliye Kyunki voh humein bhul chuke hai..hum hi pagal hai jo iss tarah ro-ro kar apni zindagi barbaad kar rahe hai..Agar voh agey bhad sakte hai..toh hum bhi agey badhna seekh sakte hai.." She put forth her resolve..Wiping away the tears..She sat uponly to be stopped by her own teacher..

" Nahi..nahi meri bachi..aisa nahi kehte.."

" Toh aur kya kahe hum..agar unhe humara zara bhi parvaah hoti toh voh kabke yahan aa chuke hote?"

" Voh Agaya hai beta.."

" In shock of wht Maya maa had just said she sat truly still..as the wrds sinked in..fresh tears trickled down her cheeks..

Holding her hands and assuring her..Maya maa jus whispered.. " Tu apne app ko aur usko ek aur mauka de..Shayad iss baar tere shivji sab kuch thik kar de?"

*******************************************

Not able to take the still silence B/w them anymore, he went and stood in front of her..He already regretted it..she was still crying, seeing her biting her lips, her clenched fists..he knew she was trying her best to control herself..even though her eyes were sqeezed shut, tears still flowed..

He went and sat down besides her, at the near end of the bed..Slowly his hands reached her s and he tried to clasp themin his..buh she was too reluctant to let go..He let his long fingers move down gently over her small hands..She finally let loosen it and turned her face to the oder side..Seeing the imprint of her long nails tht had dug in her palms he slowly brought her hands closer to his face and gently kissed her hand?

Feeling his hot breath and wet lips on her skin she felt tht sensation again..buh she immediately pulled away her hands from his grip..and stood up abruptly..

He got up slowly and sighed, it wasn't going to be easy..she was deeply hurt..As he neared her she quickly wiped her tears and composed herself..

" Shera.." buh B4 he cud say anything..

" App yahan kyun aye hai Rajkumar..??"

" Mein..Mein yahan tumhe lene aya hun.." he said moving closer..

" Aur apko lagta hai ki hum apke saath chalenge.." she mocked him..he stopped dead at track..was it rilli her??

" Itna kuch karne ke baad bhi apko shanti nahi milli joh abb app humein wapas lene aye hai.."

" Dekho mein yahan tumhe wapas lene aya hoon..aur tumhe wapas lekar hi jaunga.."

" Yeh app humse puch rahe the ya phir humein bata rahe the Rajkumar.." her nostrils flared..

" Tum..Tumm..samajhne ki koshish kyun nahi kar rahi.."

" Ismein samajhne ki koi cheez hi nahi hai..aur waise bhi app humein kyun lene aye hai yeh bhi humein pata hai..App yahan apni marzi se nahi balki baki sab ki wajah se aye hai.."

" Tum aisa kaise keh sakti ho.." he felt the heat rising..He knw it wasn't going to be easy..buh why was she so adamant and stubborn..and wht not..Why wasn't she even ready to listen to him..All this while she had kept tinking he actually didn't like her..Well he knw he had come to late so she was right in thinking so..buh why the heck was she stressing and bringing in their relatives in this..They shud hav been out of it..

" Kyunki agar apko ana hota..toh app kitne pehle aa chuke hote..par abhi app isliye aye hai Kyunki abb tak sab ko pata chal chuka hoga ki hum Sumaina mein nahi hai..aur.."

" Mein yahan tumhe apni marzi se lene aya hoon.." Again he cudn't refute..she was right all along..coz till then even he had thought she was at her father's place..Now tht she wasn't listening..how was he supposed to tell her and make her understand of his feelings..

" Aap kisse bana rahe hai Rajkumar..Hum itne bhi murkh nahi hai.."

Getting mre and mre disheartened and angry at her curt retorts he pulled her arm and made her face him..

" Tum yeh kyun nahi keh deti ki abb tumhe wapas anna hi nahi hai..Mein kamse kam tumhe yahan lene toh aya tumhe dhund toh paya...Tum toh yahi kehkar gayi thi na ki tum Sumaina jaa rahi thi..Jaise hi humein sandesh milla ki tum wahaan nahi ho..mein tumhe dhundane nikaal pada..Mujhe pata hai bohot badi galti ki hai maine..lekin kya haar galti ka ilzaam tum mujh par hi lagaogi..Kya ek aur.."

She cut in between and said furiously wiv tears continuously falling.. " Bohot bada ehsaan kiya apne humpar humein lene akar..aur waise Apki ismein koi galti nahi hai Rajkumar..Galti humari hi hai joh hum abb tak apke liye rote rahe..Kabhi yeh nahi samajh paye ki humara iss tarah rona apke kissi maene nahi rakhta..Hum apko apna akiri faisla suna chuke hai..hum apke saath wapas nahi jaenge.."

" Kya tum mujhe kabhi maaf nahi karogi..Tum..tum toh mujhse pyaar karti ho na..toh phir..iss tarah zidd kyun kar rahi ho.."

" Yeh apki galat fehmi hai..na toh hum apko chahte hai..na hi pyaar karte hai..Kabhi karte the..voh humari galti thi..par abb nahi.."

All the while she wasn't looking at him..

" Yahi tum meri ankhon mein dekhkar bolo.." when she kept lukin anywhere oder thn his eyes..

" Kyun kar rahi ho yeh sab..kyun nahi chahti tum mere saath wapas chalna..kyun nahi samajh rahi ho ki sabko tumhari kitni yaad atti hai..kitni zarurat hai sabko tumhari..sabse zyada..mujhe hai..tumhari zarurat.." He added quietly..buh she didn't listen to tht..She was fighting herself..trying not to cry anymre.. " Kyun kar rahi ho yeh sab.." he gripped her arms tight..making her face him..luking straight in her eyes while saying so..

" Kyunki yeh sab sehne ki aur sakhti nahi hai humare pass..Abb aur nahi she sakte hum.." She screamed and gave way..breaking down painfully, tears tumbling, lips trembling, shaking violently..totally standing on his support as her calves refused to take her weight anymore..She luked away from him..knwing his hurtfull gaze was on her..

" Toh phir kyun kar rahi ho aisa.." He brought her closer..

Trying to compose herself.. " Kyunki..kyunki yeh zaruri hai..*sob*..hum nahi chahte ki..*sob* wahi sab cheezen phir se dohrae.." She drew in a sharp breath and straightened..barely able to stand..tears still flowing buh she was determined..

" Isliye behtaar yahi hoga Rajkumar ki app.." The wrds afta tis were lost inside her mouth as she found his soft, warm lips on hers..

He pushed his lips onto hers, kissing her fiercely at first telling her tht she was his, just his and tht fact cus neva change..All the pent up emotions he had bottled inside for so long came out in form of tht kiss..It was as though he was trying to convey all his feelings thru just tht one kiss..his feelings ; his regret, his frustration, depression, anger by her not being wiv him..leaving him, not understanding him, for not realizing his love, for not accepting it..convrying the hopes, the promises.the trust, the happiness, the warmth and mst importantly his love.. ( which he realized a lil late..)..It was as if he was trying to make her understand wht he went thru; their past..What he wanted; their present..Wht he hoped for; their future..

She tried fighting him, but instead of getting away, they got mre intimate, his arms pulled her closer, his hands pulled at her hair, making her bend back..as he dipped mre into her..Feeling a hot tear on her face, wiv half opened eyes, her hands involuntarily reached B/w their chests and then crawled all the way to his face..

He gently let go of her as he felt the soft hand on his cheek..

Opening his eyes he saw her closed eyes, brimmed wiv unshed tears, he kissed them off gently, letting his own fall..

Standing still trying to read her expressions, he felt her hands crawling away from him as they cupped together to hide her face as she cried..As on impulse he hugged her tightly not being able to stand her tears..

She violently sobbed in his arms venting out her ire..

Her nails dug in him as she clinged to him..her cupped hands now gripping his dress..She cried her heart put as he let her take it all out..Her tears seemed to ask him infinite questions..asking why did he do all this to her, why did he make her go thru all this, why did he make her suffer so much, why didn't he realize tis love before..when he said he didn't care why was he here?why did he leave her..and then when she was finally learning to live wivout him..why did he come back..

He had no answers to her questions and so he just closed his eyes and let those tears fall, answering all of it..

*******************************************

He gently wiped away the tears from her face even though they kept coming back..feeling his tender caresses..her heart cried as it had longed for these vry caresses for so long..she luked at him as he luked at those tears, studying his face, seeing the dry tears on his cheek, she tried to erase it from there..he rubbed his cheek against her hand and let anoder tear fall..

Her oder hand moved up his back, to his hair softly palcing it there..she kept luking at him..

He luked at her , getting lost in her innocent love for him again, anoder tear prickled down..

Feeling anoder tear she came out of her trance..She had lost it again..Howsoeva hard she tried she cudn't see him like this..On any normal day..seeing him like this..she wud hav thrown her arms around him and let him whisk her away to sum oder land where only they both existed..buh no..She might never be able to get tht pleasure..When once again she was loosing herself in the depth of his eyes..Tht tear had cum tumbling down..He was looking at her..and he too had seen tht she still loved him..Now there was no use denying it..

" Aap..Aap..Humesha aisa hi karte ho.." she said in a heart-broken babish voice full on hiccups as she had cried for such a long time, feeling him placing kisses on her hands..

Finding him looking at her, she looked down, taking away her hands slowly..

" Humesha galti karte ho aur phir issi tarah..' she stifled an upcoming sob..

Luking at her tearfull eyes..his heart cried out again..Wht had he done to her..The gal he had neva eva seen crying was today trying hard not to cry..He had heard tht Love hurts..buh this much..he hadn't known?Holding her soft hands in his warm clash..he placed them on his beating heart and brought her closer wiv just a pull on her arms..Pushing her chin up?so tht she luked at him..He promised.. " Abb pakka nahi.."

When she still turned away, taking her hand away from him..leaving him wiv tht puppy dog hanging face..

" Aap Chale jaiye..abb iss sab ka *hic* koi fayda nahi.." and when she was about to go.. he took her hands in his..stopping her to go..bend on his knees luked up at her and wiv all his sincerity and courage..

" Kab tak aise tadpaogi..tumhe gussa hona hai ho lo..tumhe mujhe dantna hai toh dant lo..par iss tarah mujhse muh matt modo..mujhse baat toh karo.."

Bending her head low..so tht her hair came down casting her face away..she luked at her feet for a long time and then when he still didn't get up she whishpered..not trusting her voice as it might give way..

" Apko dantne ka koi haq nahi hai humein..aur apse gussa bhi hum kaise ho sakte hai..Inn sab ka koi haq nahi hai humein.." she said mre to herself than him..

" Tum aisa kyun keh rahi ho..samajhne ki koshish toh karo..Kisne kaha tumhe haq nahi hai..tumhe mujh par pura haq hai.."

" Haq toh tab hota jab humare beech koi rishta hota?jab tha tab app nahi samjhe aur jab voh bhi tut gaya toh hum nahi samjh sakte?" she tried her best to not let her hirt be visible in her voice..

" Sheraa.."

" Bohot derr ho gayi Rajkumar..abb apko jana chahiye..app thak gaye honge.." she tried to free her hands from his grip..

" Kya tum apne Veer ko ek mauka aur nahi dogi.." he turned around her hand still in his steely grip.. " Iss baar pakka tumhe koi dukh nahi pohchaunga..koi pareshani nahi hone dunga..Joh chahogi wahi karunga.."

" Mein tumse aur kya kahun.."

" Veer uthiye.."

"Tum jawab do.."

" App uthiye toh.."

" Nahi pehle tum jawab do..mein tab tak nahi uuthunga jab tak tum mujhe jawab nahi deti.."

" Rajkumar..hum apke saath nahi chal sakte.."

" Kyun??"

" Hum nahi jante.."

*************

He had never known the pain of rejection until then..letting go of her hands..standing up again..he turned around

" Thik hai..koi baat nahi..mein tumse koi zabardasti nahi karunga..sirf yahi ki kaal subah mein tumhe lene ajaunga..aur mein tumhe yeh ashwasan deta hoon ki jab tak tum nahi chahogi..tab tak mein tumhe apna chehra tak nahi dikhaunga.." saying so he walked away..she watched him go wiv the corner of her eyes..seeing the painful hunch (downfall) of his shoulders she knew he was totally disappointed and vry hurt..

She too was..Mre than him..afta so much time she had finally accepted to live alone all her life..to forget him..buh then just when things were falling in place he came back..making it all the more difficult for her..

*THUD*

She fell hard on the floor..the tears cleansing her skin..making her look fairer than all times..recalling each and every incidence..she cried..for all tht had happened..

Recalling the way he had so passionately kissed her making her crave for more..making her relax...she rubbed her lips furiously..How cud she hav let him do tht..He had no rights to do so..No rights..She kept rubbing them furiously and then all of a sudden lost it..and cried all over again? NO..he always had all his rights on her..she was all his..he had full rights to do anything he wanted..wether she wished for it or not..

*******************************************

" Kya baat hui.." seeing his latka hua face..Maya Maa asked..

" Itni jaldi thodi na mann jaegi..ghav gehra hai toh bharne mein thoda waqt to lagega na..leking akhir mein bhar jaega.."

" Tu chinta matt kar, mein hoon na tere saath.." and she kissed his forehead..

*******************************************

Okies finally they met..abhi toh she is vry angry and upset and heartbroken..toh isliye..abhi itni jaldi maaf nahi karegi..was abt to include confession of Veer's feelings..buh then thought it'd be too much..isliye stopped..if u gals want I can do tht..

Iss baar nahi mila payi..Par dekhne agle prt mein may be I make them meet..well I will..Stay tuned..will update sn?

Here the numbed wiv pain story ends and within a prt or two..Royal Love ( the actual story wud start)..

sumhow em not satisfied wiv tis update..I tink sumfins missing..actaully I tink in a hurry I repeated many wrds and wrote em wrong..so sowiee..pata nahi yaar em in such a hurry..buh if u hav any ider idea to make em meet..do temme..N yes plzz dooo comment?..

Love ya all loads..t.ccccc

-Ur's Ever Madhu😳