~|Royal Love-Numbed wid Pain|*VeEraFF*|~Note_49~ - Page 3

" Hum apko kahin nahi jane de rahe hai..Agar phir humara beti ke pass jane ki himmat ki..toh..tohh.." The elderly man bit his tongue b4 he cud speak mre.. Buh how cud he control himself afta all tht he heard his daughter had beared..His heart was crying out, thumping so painfully when he heard tht his daughter neva was happy here, and even if she was, wht tis man..tis..tis person had done to her..who was her supposed husband..the one whom he had always loved and cared for..and thought wud make a perfect husband for her..

he had taken down all the trust, all the love and blessings bestowed on him, as he tried to harm his daughter..the one whom he had cared for mre thn nytin in tis wrld..The one whom he had loved like no oder.. and tis man had tried to hurt his so precious daughter..and tht too in such a way tht he cudn't even repair the harm done..

" Hum sirf uski khoj mein jaa tahe hai Pi…." He bit his tongue until he tasted blood.. " Maharaj..Jaise hi voh humein mill jaegi hum usey yahan le ayenge..App..App yakin kijiye.."

" Yakin..!! Voh bhi app par Rajkumar Veer..Dekh liya humne app par bhi yakin karke..aur saath hi yeh bhi dekh liya ki kitna acha silla dete hai app unn logon ko jo app par yakin karte hai..

Shayad humne apki zindagi ki sabse pyaari cheez apko yahi samjhkar sounpi thi..issi yakin ke saath ki aap usey khush rakhenge..lekin..Kya Hua..KYA HUA..?? TUT GAYA YAKIN..Abb phir kaise aetbaar karein app par..Ho sakta hai Ki Uske saath phir wahi saluki kiya jaye..aur kya pata kahi phir apse yahi galti na ho jaye.." he added irately..

Veer tried to control the tears forming in his eyes..How cud he jus take it..He was being blamed for sumfin he cud neva eva think of doin again..How cud they just say tht..why wud he again try to commit the same crime for which he was already repenting so grieviously..Buh then they were not to blame..He was coz he was the one who conflicted all this upon himself.. Jus to make things worse..her father had dropped by..coz none had sent a reply to the Kings message and his immense love for his daughter was well known to all…

N thus when he came to knw abt it..He was damn furious..He wud hav already killed his much loved son-in-law…if only his lovely mother-in-law didn't budge in between and took control of the situation wiv her witty talks and then finally made his so furious ready to kill father-in-law calm down and talk to him..

He pleaded, he knw afta all the commotion created as Her Father had arrived was much expected…rather much calmer than he had expected…so he kept pleading to let him go in search of his bellowed wife..

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Until they all let him go..Yes ofcourse he did receive all the vry big lectures which were indeed embarrassing, so many of the threats if he dare even touch his own wife..they all first asked him to take sum guards along wiv him..Not to protect him buh to ensure he did notin wrong to his wife..!! His heart ached seein all his near and dear ones accuse him..

The only ones to support him were Dharam, Siya and Her (Shera's) Mom..

He just didn't want anyone to be by his side..Buh only these people understood how much he too had repented for the mistake he had never thought of committing..

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"Mujhe Ashirwaad dijiye ki mein abb us sey wapas lekar hi lautu..

Mujhe pata hai ki app bhi mujhse bohot naraaz hai..akhir apki ananya bhakt ko apse dur jo kar diya, us sey itne dukh diye..Par phir bhi, sirf yeh ek baat manjoor kardo..sirf yeh ek fariyaad sun lo..isey manjoor kar do..Ki..Ki..mein..ussey wapas la sakun.."

He pleaded to God..To her God..she had always deeply believed in God n tht to her Shivaji..She always said Bhole Shankar..her Shiva was her first love..buh he didn't want it to be her only love..He had spend nights prayin to her Shiva..so as to return her bac to him...Buh no awail..How many nights did he spend here in hope tht she might cum bac for her Shiva..buh no..The crime he committed..he thought inflicted such grief on her tht she jus stopped believing in all..The Allmighty was no exception..n all these painful, wretched months..the times he suffered were also coz he had caused her so much grief even the one above was so angry on him tht he didn't want to return him His Angel In Disguise..The fact he realized once she was gone..

" Mein wada karta hoon..ki..ki mein ussey koi dukh nahi dunga..jahan tak ho sake us sey saari khushiyan de dunga..voh..voh agar chahe toh mein us sey milunga bhi nahi apna chehra tak nahi dikhaunga us sey.." he sobbed and fell on his knees..Ohh how he regretted all he had done..Now he cud not even claim her as his own..he cud no longer say tht she was all his.. " bass..bass voh..voh wapas aane ke liye taiyaar ho jaye.." tears continuously streamed down his swollen eyes onto his pale cheeks..

He barely had the strength to stand..buh he didn't knw why all of a sudden he felt the new energy tht started flowing thru him...He knw he was going to get her bac..any how..even if it cost him all he had..ALL..he wud give it..buh he wud get her bac..He vowed.. " Jab tak mein us sey wapas nahi le atta..Mein naa toh ann-na pani..Kuch bhi grahan nahi karunga.." makin such a vow..he left in search of her…

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It had been nearly Five days tht he had gone out to search for her..Buh no success..He had visited all the places where he thought she cud be..Buh each place he went he just heard one answer.. " Humein toh laga tha ki voh apke saath hi hai..Par apko nahi pata..aisa kaise ho sakta hai..Kahan hai voh.." and all those people bombarded questions on him..and how cud he answer em..tell em tht he had done sumfin which had led to her leaving him all alone to face such questions..

He knw she was loved by all who knw her…and she too loved all of em..then why not him..If she cud be so close to the oder people why jus not him..If she cud give away so much of love to people whom she even didn't even knw.. n yet she did tins for em as if..as if they were her near n dear ones..Buh then why not for him..Buh then he remembered..she had done all she cud..he had been the unsupportive one..All the while she was the only one who had tried to keep their marriage intact..Buh then he hadn't cooperated…n thus she too was takin fun in teasing him..seeing him getting mre n mre desperate each passing day..He felt tht if he didn't see her soon..He wud surely die..Each day of tis separation was costing him a lot..He felt so drained..so exhausted..

He thought no tears were left out..coz he had cried all he cud in these six months buh no..each time he saw sumfin tht reminded him of her..tears automatically formed..Those tears which had neva eva shone in his eyes were now settled there.. threatening to spill as the slightest emotion flickered..the tears which had abandoned his eyes were now permanentely there..jus waitin for the slightest flicker..n loo they fell..His head which b4 all tis was always held high was now hung in shame, despair n guilt..

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Finally he once again entered the boundary of Aryanagar..he had searched for her thru n thru..buh now wht..He cudn't find her..buh he cudn't loose hope..He cudn't..It was a question of his life...His life was at stake..Each moment he felt his heart sinking wiv the feelings of not finding her..each of his heartbeat called out for her..coz he cudn't bear to remain away from her now..It was way too painfull..His condition..physically, mentally as well as emotionally was getting worser..it was deteriorating..

He didn't budge from the vow, even though it had started taking it's toll..

His breathing had becum ragged..his legs had becum wobbly..his long and confident strides were getting shrt n tiresome..He staggered mst of the time…

He was about to fall due to so much exertion and weakness..buh he pulled himself up and walked towards the nearest tree possible..

As he placed his hands on the bark of the tree for support..he felt himself filling wiv sum sort of energy..

He was feeling strangely peaceful..As he leaned back onto the huge bark of tis ancient tree..he felt all those tiny voices in his mind, all his worries, all the pain tht was torturing him painfully inside subside as the peace resided..He planned to sit down..buh then again he remembered why he was here..n for the first time in all these days he didn't curse himself for his deeds..

He heard her saying.. " Galti toh haar kissi se hoti hai, par jab sache dill se app uss galti ko sudharna chahte ho..toh chahe galti kitni bhi badi kyun na ho..App uss galti ko sudhar hi lete ho..Kyunki aise mein har koi apke saath ho jata hai..aur agar koi na bhi ho toh..Voh upar wala toh hai hi..aur Veer apke saath toh hum bhi hai..Humesha.."

"Humesha.."

"Humesha.."

"Humesha.."

"Humesha.."

It kept repeating in his mind.. "Par tum chali gayi na..kaha tha tumne humesha mere saath ho..toh phir abb kyun nahi.."

He closed his eyes and suddenly felt too lonely..and empty..all he cud see was her beautiful face adorned by an equally beautiful smile.." Veer abb app humein nahi dekh paa rahe so ismein humara kya galti..Hum toh yahi hai..humesha se..Bass yahin..apke itne kareeb.." He heard the giggle and as she ran of he even heard the voice of her anklet..

He went on to follow her..

As he saw her hidin behind one tree and peekin out watchin him cumin towards her..The tranquil surroundings filled wiv her merry laughter..He felt refreshed..after so many days he did find her..may be not in real buh atleast he cud think abt her and be happy..

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He had been chasing around his delusion..his imagination for a while now..buh then suddenly she had disappeared leaving him admist the trees..and a path..which wud lead him towards her..

After cumin to tis place he had felt instantly relaxed, felt tht connetion..Sumhow his instincts told him tht she was just here..so near..

He closed his eyes, took in a deep breath and heard the gentle swaying of the branches, the rustle of the leaves..the faint sounds of anklets…for the first time in all these months he let his senses free..feeling the wind blowing thru his face..his hair..

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It had been sumtime now..since he had been standing their rooted..luking at the small pink piece of silken cloth wiv the initials of his name carved on it..Slowly and steadily he brought it up till his face and the same intoxicating scent wafted past..Hands trembling he brought it near to his cheek and rubbed it to them..He cud feel the similar softness..

Tears spilled..So..so tht meant he was goin to find her..like she was near..how cud it be oderwise..He had found it entangled in a branch..and the similar baby pink colour caught his attention and he had carefully wiv trembling hands untangled it..Undoubtedly it was hers..coz it had his initials…He still remembered how just to tease him she had got his initials sewed on each and every hanky (rumal) of hers..She must hav dropped it on her way..buh then wht was she doing here..

This was just the border of his kingdom and this place was actually for cutting down the woods for use in the nearby houses..So wht was she doing here..

He had no doubts as to if tis was sumone elses..He cud smell her, feel her..touch her thru it..undoubtedly it was hers..Buh their seemed no reason for her being at tis place..It seemed so highly unlikely..buh then he remembered..he must hav thought of such places coz she always was their..where no one cud hav thought for a princess to be..

He felt so happy and excited tht he started figuring out how his reaction wud be when he met her..

He thought he wud just go, hold her and keep watchin her face..Nop..How cud he control himself when he saw her..he wud jus smother her face wiv kisses..telling her how much he missed her..loved her and Needed her...The thought charade continued.. Buh she won't let him..why wud she let him near her eva again.. tinking so a thought struck him..All these days he was busy figuring out his pain..trying ways to reduce it..doing numerous things.. like cursing Himself..sumtimes her for leaving him all alone..sumtimes the one above as to why did he separate em..wiv all those people their support him..tht..tht he had actually forgotten tht the one on whom all tis was inflicted..the one who had actually had to bear it..MUST be goin thru the same PAIN OR EVEN GREATER..

Tears spilled thinking of all she wud be goin thru..suffering thru..He had felt those waves of sadness..which he knw he got wheneva she thought of him..thinking of how he was..was he still the same careless person..so irresponsible and disorganized..How was he leading lyf..All her fears, worries and pain did reach him..

He knw she loved him..he had always seen it in her eyes..and he wanted to see it now too..he knw tht it was a thought too good to be true..afta all tht he had made her go thru..why wud she still love him..She had got no reason to..buh still deep sumwhere he felt and knw tht she still loved him and cared for him..

Still in deep thoughts abt wht was she doing here..He suddenly stopped hearing the sound of the anklets..Those ghungru's..

He rushed past just to catch the source of it..

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"Dekho Shaurya..Yeh humein dedo.."

" Mein nahi dunga.."

" Par kyun.."

" Arey yeh ek hi toh cheez hai jiske liye tum itna bhag daud rahi ho.."

"Isliye dedo na.."

"Hmm dedu..Nahin.. Tum khud lelo.."

"Acha.."

As the kiddo waited silently..she suddenly leapt 4wrd and said..to his surprise.. "Toh thik hai.." and she took away the anklet from him..buh he had actually held it to hard and so It broke..the sudden pull had only got his grip becum harder..and so wiv tht pull it broke..

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"Shera.."

" Haan Ji.."

"Abhi aii.." she gave the curry a final stir and wiped her hands..and was abt to go when..

" Yeh le..shambhal apne bache ko.."..she pulled from behind a lil cute boy for whom Shera had developed a lot of affection and love… "Arey abhi toh Shera ke pas jana hai ki ratt laga rakhi thi aur abb samne bhi nahi aa raha..Na jane iss ladke ka kya hoga..Khana chod ke bhag kar aa raha tha yahan..so pakad ke le ayi issey..Abb shambhal apne bache ko.."

" Thik hai didi..." Shera smiled cutely at the woman..

As the woman walked away Shera went rushing to save the curry..It was abt to burn..So she just took the burning hot container wiv bare hands and put it down from the stove (singhadi..)

And then wivout even lukin at her burnt finger tips she blowed out the fire..

Busy and occupied in wht she was doing she didn't notice him standing their..As he placed his small hands onto her chin to make her turn her beautiful face to him..She stopped wht she was doin..She was surprised wiv him doin tht..and it reminded her of him..

" Tum abhi tak gussa ho.."

" Hmm nahi toh.."

" Toh naraaz ho.."

" Nahi toh..Par app Kisliye puch rahe ho.."

" Voh meri wajah se tumhari payal tut gayi na.." he made a small sad expression..studying her face for her expressions..

" Nahi koi baat nahi.." she said holding him..from waist.. well she was a lil upset abt it as it was vry vry special to her..buh then why shud she say tht..she knw he wud get upset for hurting her..

" Mein tumhe ek aur payal dilla dunga.."

" Nahi.." the oder moment she said "haan" seein his face getting clouded..as sn as she said Haan he luked so happy..and gav her tht smile to die for..

" Par tum uss samay aise kyun aa gayi thi.."

" Voh payal humein kissi ne di thi..aur voh humein bohot pyaari thi.."

" Haan voh payal bohot sundar thi..Voh kisne di thi.."

" Voh..Humare pa..voh..voh humein Rajkumar Veer ne di thi.."

" Maine suna hai ki voh bohot ache hai.."

" Haan..bohot bohot ache.." she said..holdin onto his hands..

(She's sittin cross legged and he is standing their near her..)

" Voh tumhare pati hai na..'

" Uhh..Haan..par.."

"Tum unse naraaz ho.."

" Na..Nahi toh.." she stammered in B/w..Why was tis lil kiddo askin such questions..

" Toh phir tum unse pyaar nahi karti.."

" Huh.Kyaa?? "..

" Maine pucha kya tum unse pyaar nahi karti..??"

" Ap..App a..aisa ky..kyun puch rahe hai.." she stopped caressing his hair..stammering..she thought she cudn't answer such a question..She didn't knw..She had loved him n wud keep loving him 4eva..buh wht he had done was not at all forgivable..It was the sole reason which made her life miserable..

After a moments silence..she said..breaking the heavy silence which was burdened wiv so many unanswerable questions.. Wht she didn't knw was tht..there was sumone else too who was waitin for the answer to tis question.." Yeh sab baatien toh baad mein bhi hoti rahengi..Chalo..

Chalo..shaurya..Khana kha lo.."

" Haan thik hai..par tumhara haath jaal gaya tha na..."

"Nahi kuch nahi hua..app bass khana kha lo.."

"Hmm..Thik hai.."

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" Tum jab mahal mein rehti hogi tab tumhe aise khana nahi banana padta hoga na.."

" Haan.."

" Aur issey bhi bohot acha..matlab bohot saare cheezein hoti hongi na khane ke liye.."

" Haan.."

" Aur zyada kaam bhi nahi karna padta hoga..matlab joh sab kaam tum yahan par karti ho..aise khana banana..pani bharna..lakdiyan katna.."

" Haan.."

" Matlab wahaan bohot mazaa atta hoga na.."

" Haan baba..Par app aisa kyun puch rahe ho.."

" Voh isliye ki tum itne dino se yahan reh rahi ho na..toh.."

" Hmmm..toh.."

"Kya tumhe wahaan ki yaad nahi atti.."

" Atti hai..par.."

" Par kya..?? Kya tumhe Rajkumar Veer ki yaad nahi atti..Tumne abhi kaha tha na ki voh bohot hi ache hai.."

" Haan voh bohot ache hai.." n she stopped as she felt the lump in her throat..

" Toh tum itne dino se yahan ho..yeh unko pata hai.."

" H..Haan.." She was startled..

" Toh voh tumse bohot naraaz honge.."

" Huh..Kyun??"

" Kyunki tum itne dino se yahan ho..Tum Maya maa se toh kabki mill chuki.."

" Haan toh.."

"Offoo!! Toh Unhe bhi toh tumhari kitni yaad aati hogi na.."

She hurriedly got up and stood there facing the wall..

A lone tear escaped her eye as she recalled wht he said…

"Unhe bhi toh tumhari kitni yaad aati hogi na.."

"Unhe humara koi yaad nahi atti hogi..voh bhala humein kyun yaad karein.." anoder tear made way down her rosy cheeks..

As Abhi tucked at her..she wiped away her tears n served him the meal..and jus made him quiet..sayin one shudn't speak while eating..

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As she sat there still warming the papad..which was now burning..

"Shera DIDIII…."

"Huh..Kyaa.." as sn as she realized she blowed out the smoke..

" Hey bhagu..Huh.." she left a sigh of relief..as she had finally successfully blown out the fire..

" Tum na jane kin khayalon mein gum thi..Kitni derr se chila raha tha.."

" Kya soch rahi thi tumm.." He demanded..

" Voh hum..Voh.."

" Rajkumar Veer ke baarein mein soch rahi thi na.."

" Nahi..voh..Hum.."

" Bass sab pata hai humein..Tum unhi ke baarein mein soch rahi thi.."

" Hum..Humm kyun..soche unke baarein mein.."

" Kyunki voh tumhare pati hai, aur tum unse bohot pyaar karti ho aur tumhe unki bohot yaad aati hai.."

" Yeh sab apse kisne kaha.."

" Maya maa ne.."

" Huh.."

" Voh uss din humne apki aur Maya maa ki baatein sun li thi.."

" Acha Badmaash.." as she twisted his ears playfully…

He stirred such feelings in her..She just felt it..She brought him near her chest and enveloped him in a warm..love filled embrace..holding him close to her heart..She from the start had loved kids and knw..tht if..only if..her life had been like the normal ones..she too wud hav been a mother to such a cute child..who wud be her own..Jus hers n His..

As he slept in her embrace..She kissed him on his forehead and and then cheek..

" Kitne sawaal puchte ho..na jane itne chote se bache ke dimaag mein itne saare sawaal kahan se paida hote hai.." She sighed recalling all tht happened from the morning till then..The day had not gone particularly well..She didn't knw why buh each n evry tin seemed to remind her of him..Suddenly she felt he was too near and so she kept loosing it…all the while tinkin abt him..and then the way shaurya had questioned her…She felt unable to speak.. She cursed herself..for giving away her heart to such a person who cud hav not cared less for it..even afta the horrendous deed he had committed..tht unforgettable and unforgiveable act of his..She still cudn't bring herself to stop loving him.. instead she as always said tht he was vry gd..

Then she recalled wht shaurya had said.. "Voh tumhe kitna yaad karte honge.." buh she knw betta thn tis..She knw tht he must hav neva missed her from the time she left instead he wud be celebrating…

She sat there recalling it all..askin the almighty for the first time why did it hav to happen to her..Why jus her..Wht mistake had she done…Wht folly of hers was she paying for..Why was she suffering of all the misdeeds he committed..Why cudn't her marriage stay intact..Why cudn't her life be normal..n mst importantly..even afta all he had done WHY CUDN'T SHE STILL STOP HERSELF FROM LOVING HIM..Even today if he came bac..She knw she wud 4give him..Mre of all just turn away and ask him to go..n yes he wud go..n ltr wud say I did cum to seek u..

Why cud her married life not be like the oders..Why did it all just happen to her…

Thinkin so she drifted off to a horrorfilled nightmare..the one real truth of her life…whose darkness was slowly consuming her life..

Sumtin had to be done fast..or else…….

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Hmmm broke tis prt into two or three sub prts..will be updating sn afta tis..like may be today itself or tomm..Gosh it's getting harder to write tis..

Now Veer's feelings and then the mst awaited..their meeting…

Hmmm n yes tis Prt is dedicated to Ekta di (ektay11) n Rakhi di (veersherafan1)..and yes to nandu di too..Gals U rock..seriously em rilli sowie for not updating or even commenting coz I was out of town for two days on an imp wrk..actually I had written mst of it..Buh as I had to go out for two days for sum imp wrk..mom stopped me jus at the moment when tis prt was abt to be finished…Gosh believe it gals I cudn't get sleep until I reached bac n saw it all..

N now heres u'r update..Pllllllllzzzz…Do gimme sum suggestions n ideas too..like temme how it was shud I make it mre senti or like edit sum prt of it..

N yes Thanx too..for understanding n not becumin mad at me…Thank U soooo soooo vry much….

Love ya loads gals..U rock..n yes keep rockin tis FF……

-Ur's Ever Madhu😳