STORY - Khooni Building(completed)

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sayhi2su

@sayhi2su

Navigator

Posted: 14 years ago

#41

story was nice

great efforts👏👏

quoting the last line from your story

Tasha slowly walks behind her and tries to grab the gun...in the confusion the gun goes off with a deafening blast with the gun pointed right at Tasha's forehead!!!!!!

😭😭😭

aisa kyun?

what happened to tasha after this?

please dont mind just getting anxious

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sunny

@sunnyp1414

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#42

wow. khooni story. badiya hai. female culprit and excellent part was that killer has logic to kill and even leave traces.👏.

picture bahi baki hai........ waiting. 😃

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BeastInCarnage

@BeastInCarnage

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#43

Paani ko freezer me rakhne se banti hai baraf.....

Paani ko freezer me rakhne se banti hai baraf.....

Daya tum jaaao us taraf.....aur abhijit tum us taraf..

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prabha.

@prabha.

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#44

Waiting for the full thing

Edited by prabha. - 14 years ago

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DJ_Apurva

@DJ_Apurva

Explorer

Posted: 14 years ago

#45

Visrom Di...plzooooo complete ur story soon.

-Apurva

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visrom

@visrom

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#46

Story completed. Awaiting honest feedback. 😊

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prabha.

@prabha.

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#47

hmmm the plot was decent, narration style was somewhere between your own and Salil-NK style. The fake bullets part was totally NK. On the whole you lost points in the team distribution (which was good) and detection (decent as well) part. You still have a lot to learn to achieve NK expertise.

Next time start a CID magic show with absurd "Alif Laila" type of clues with implausible culprits having even more absurd reasons. Then you may give NK a run for her money 😛 And yeah for Salil effect you need crap Forensics and OTT ACP. 😃

Edited by prabha. - 14 years ago

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SAGNIKA

@Shagnika

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#48

Oohk... Well you again failed to score like NK !😆 Yours was more close to the real world and at every step it had a somehwat CID feeling ... you managed to maintain the characters true to themselves and maintained the suspense as well... !

Story wise it was a decent plot. with not much twists and turns. Motive, methods etc were well handled as well.

As far as Salil Singh is concerned, its impossible to beat him yaar! He is superb at his job....😆😆😆

Liked the way you kept Sachin away to a large extent. DUO managed to shine throughout with ACP's usual dialogues. Overall, a well written story... not exactly NK or SS type ! You gotto work much harder for that!😉

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BeastInCarnage

@BeastInCarnage

Rocker

Posted: 14 years ago

#49

Picture abhi baaki hai yaaron. Abhi Finishing nahi aaya hai.

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#50

hi VISROM.....

xcillent work...... kum az kum now a days story sy......
its my honest suggestion that u must post dis story to MR.B.P SINGH...... really
the plot with narration, dialogue, even very real kind of locations with heavy rain ( in my imagination)
all is zabardast...............

very good man..... keep it up... n really think abt my suggestion.......👏👏⭐️