Of course, now when you put it so logically, and sensibly it all makes sense. BUT:
This is extreme, but in many conservative families, some of these rules still exist.
- Can't go out without permission from in-laws, or informing them well in advance - informing makes sense, because meals have to be planned accordingly, and well in time, especially in a large family ... but permission? for adults?
Do I need permission to ask my mum to go on a honeymoon?
- Can't wear clothes that you want - if you're alone at home or only with husband, floating around in a skimpy nighty is okay, but even a modern girl would be embarrassed if her FIL or older brother-in-law saw her that way. So making sure you're decent outside your own room comes automatically ... it doesn't have to be forced.
Hmmm... what if I want to wear shorts and T-shirts? That's pretty respectable. (I wear shorts and T-shirts in the house all the time, all the time. With my brothers, their friends and everyone else around. There are always people at my house. My dad's friends, my uncles, my mom's friends... am I being disrespectful. I don't think so.I'm not floating around naked!) Plus as in Chhan Chhan's and her bhabhi's cases if they cannot even wear shalwaar suits...??? And I have to ASK my MIL for my bhabhis to wear suits because they are too afraid???... Plus, Chhan Chhan's nighty was pretty sedate. It was not revealing. She was more covered than a saree!!!
- Can't have friends over - if you have only one hall/drawing room, then the couples would have to check with each other if it was free for their friends to drop in ... otherwise friends have to sit in the couple's bedroom. I knew a joint family like this.
Except that Chhan Chhan's new house is huge. And yeah, it's great to have some idea of who's coming to visit. That's being considerate in letting others know. But spontaneity is also OK. It should be OK for family to drop in uninvited. And close friends. too. One drawing room or not. Where the visitors seat is quite irrelevant, the visit and feelings are important. But, yeah, for space purposes, I do see your point.
-Can't talk without permission - many families I know, the DILs are supposed to be quiet and not speak in 'family matters' ... those involving the parents and siblings. And mostly they don't, they prefer to stay out. They only give their opinions to their husbands in private. Matters involving the couples themselves are different, there they speak freely.
Are the DIL's not a part of the family? They are required to do all the work, serve their husbands, serve their in-laws, look after the children, fulfill their husbands sexual desires, but they are not considered as part of the family?? Do they prefer to stay out of it because they want to, or because they are not allowed to be in it? Or because they are too afraid? Or because they will be "put in their place" and insulted?
So most of these rules are pretty much common sense ... no sensible girl would do very much differently, especially not in her first few days in her new home. It's when they are carried to extremes that they become ridiculous ... and that's what they're trying to show here.
Yeah I guess, they are trying to show the extremes so that people become aware (that such things do exist?) I consider myself to be very sensible. But hell will freeze over before I lose my identity and give someone the power to control me like I am a second class citizen. Especially, my husband (who would feel it is OK to eat without me...!) Of course, I am not saying create a dispute - these things can be solved amicably, And I suspect this is what we will be seeing in the show. A mature Chhan Chhan solving issues with logic and an immature UB tying hard to maintain her power and control over archaic and unfair rules all in the name of "traditions" - by whatever means available, including emotional blackmail.
Being subservient to MIL and family ... being polite is normal ... it doesn't HAVE to mean subservient. Here it does ... again that's what they're trying to show. You CAN make your point and disagree with the rules, without being rude or militant.
Agreed. Politeness from both parties does not mean being subservient. Like you said, here it is all about being subservient to the MIL and to a lesser degree the other in-laws.
-Can't eat with hubby ... ah, there you've got me!!! No excuses for that at all ... not in this day and age.. plus they have servants to serve the hot rotis - the only reason where that might be permissable. And not sitting at the same table, but eating in the kitchen - ridiculous!!! Like someone very perceptively remarked, that was a way to show the DILs their place - never quite part of the family, only a step above servants.
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