PR Friends CC - i/o - Page 3

Originally posted by: nikitagmc

I remember reading one of his tweets few days back and honestly the thought that came in my mind was, 'When will this guy stop being fake', cos we'd so much of that previously. Now I realize the lines between reality and fakeness were all blurred. I don't know which was which. Who was he, the guy who changed over night to accommodate his ambitions or was that alienation a part of depression. Did he fall into depression after the failure of all his planned route of success for the first time, or was it because of real lack of people in a lonely period. So many questions. I don't know.

Yes! I remember all of those feelings! I remember we were so confused how over the span of a few months he seemingly turned into a different person and I couldn't stop questioning why he was acting the way he was. And now I can't stop wondering about the same things as you... All of my thoughts have been turned on their head yet again and its hard to make sense of it. It's making me question everything I ever thought I knew... and we knew a lot.

Originally posted by: lunza

Been watching old JDJ performances . I think that's how I would like to always remember him.

Oh girl those were the best days! I remember I was in high school and had finally gotten a data plan on my phone and would sit in the back of class trying to sneak onto here to look at gifs of the episodes. During that proposal episode my heart was floating in the sky.

It feels so wild that back then some of my biggest concerns were the saazishes of the JDJ editors and vote manipulation... never thought I would be sitting here mourning like this just 10 years later.

They were so full of hope and potential... the possibilities felt limitless back then!

Originally posted by: nikitagmc

We recollected the days when we were together in 2015-2016, it was the worst time for me too- with failures in personal, professional and academic life. Worst was that when the whole 180 degree change happened on ssr's end I was devastated - angry at him of course but also because I felt I'd wasted so much time on him when maybe if I'd invested it on other stuff, my life would have been more on track.

Hugs to you girl! I swear that was the worst possible time for everything to go down the way it did. This was basically my fantasy escape, it had always made me happy or at least distracted me. And then the whole thing turned around and slapped us in the face. It became a nightmare. Sometimes I still feel like I have whiplash from it all.

In hindsight I learned a lot on here and it really challenged my thinking and emotional intelligence in ways other situations haven't, but I think I will always be plagued by the 'what if...' thoughts of never having gotten into this.

Originally posted by: sensodynee

Anu, how can we even forget you?!?!

I still have all your collections of VM (my most favorite from JDJ proposal, tere liye) or your creation. I use to flaunt it with pride.

How can we forget all those times of spending times swooning over those two paagal especially Ankita.

We should say thanks for remembering us.

Nish yaar🤗....How could I ever forget you guys either? It was such a journey from the days in the Sushita AT, discussing all their BTS clips, so many dance performances, the journey onto JDJ, the excitement of KPC being made, then released....it was a heady time. And we were so proud of the both of them, and so happy for them too.

Sushant-Ankita were literally the first and last offscreen couple I followed this closely. So it will definitely remain a powerful memory and I will always cherish those fun discussions we all had.

Originally posted by: lunza

Hi everyone. I used to be a part of PR forum . Not sure how many of you remember me.

I am not really sure how to process this. Despite everything that I feel I know in theory about certain things, immediate instinct is to still ask "why?"

Haven't seen any of the news clips. Been watching old JDJ performances . I think that's how I would like to always remember him.

Hi Lunza, I remember you too yaar.

@bold: I've also been rewatching his old JDJ performances and his old dance performances with Ankita. No matter the tragic end, that is how I also would like to remember him - through his body of work and the joy he spread through it.

There is such a sense of finality to a life ending, all other issues suddenly fade away in comparison. Even the disappointments and grudges fade away in many ways.

I can relate to all your posts.. I was in Uni during PR and JDJ forum days, and was going thru some stuff. When KPC released, I was a few months into my first job, and again was going thru some stuff.. Similarly, for when I watched DBB .

I keep thinking about "what if instead of this, that had happened, then maybe this wouldn't have happened" ..

Originally posted by: toothbrush13

How could I forget you? You and kabeeraspeaking were the reason I used to try to improve my photoshop skills. I loved your style and of course your posts as well, you were always so sensible.

I'm really grateful that you posted. Your whole post resonates with me so much. I have many of the same thoughts but I have been so overly wrapped up in this for so long that at some point I am not sure if I am even being rational anymore or if it is all in my head. I feel very similarly about the disillusionment and drifting... it's like he wandered off and never made it back to himself. I'm not even really adding anything to the conversation here but I truly want you to know how accurately your words summarize my feelings.

I feel like all of the current coverage fails to account for the person he was before bollywood, and it really saddens me.

Oh you are being too kind, TB. Your creations were amazing and I still have so many of them saved. I still remember the one request sig you made me on the "Puraane khat mile hain" poetry.

@bold: I completely understand where you're coming from. It's been hard for me to articulate my thoughts too and I'm still trying to process this honestly. What's pouring out is a sense of profound sadness over the tragedy of it all. I never thought Sushant one day would end up becoming a tragic figure in my memory. But there it is regardless.

I actually probably didn't even follow him or the two of them as closely as the rest of you guys did....I was sort of this late entrant who gate crashed your AT cuz I suddenly got so charmed by these two paagals😆....never thought that would evolve into a journey spanning years of following their interviews, JDJ, and then even his movie journey. And now here we are....even more time has passed but things feel more surreal than ever.

You are absolutely right that the bollywood crowd, including the bollywood forum really doesn't have much insight into the Sushant from his PR years....which I would frankly call his defining years. He evolved both as an actor and then ofcourse PR gave him Ankita who was a major anchoring force in his life. It's ironic but the tribute thread on the front page of IF also only has people talking about remembering him from KDMH but I feel like I was part of the small group that mainly remembers him cuz of PR and JDJ.

This sad turn of events just makes one reflective about the very nature of disillusionment and how it manifests in different ways in different people.

Originally posted by: toothbrush13

Oh girl those were the best days! I remember I was in high school and had finally gotten a data plan on my phone and would sit in the back of class trying to sneak onto here to look at gifs of the episodes. During that proposal episode my heart was floating in the sky.

It feels so wild that back then some of my biggest concerns were the saazishes of the JDJ editors and vote manipulation... never thought I would be sitting here mourning like this just 10 years later.

They were so full of hope and potential... the possibilities felt limitless back then!

@bold: This. So true💔

LOL@ the JDJ saazishes....haha what wild times those were. Despite the fact that he was basically robbed of a deserving win, JDJ just has so many good memories cuz of all the great performances of his we got to analyze, and so many memorable Sushita moments.

Originally posted by: toothbrush13

While the circumstances are the worst, I am thankful that this thread found its way to more people! After so long I was having trouble remembering some usernames but of course I remember all of you.

Thanks Niki for standing up for our point of view in another thread... I was always amazed by the amount of attention (and ire) we drew, considering that our "group" was maybe fifteen people at full strength, out of millions of other fans. People just see the words we say (or have said) but don't understand the place of passion and familiarity that it comes from. We cared so, so much and still do. Our thoughts and feelings from many years ago are not invalidated because of what happened yesterday, though it certainly gives me more perspective. All I really wanted was for him to get his act together and be the person we knew he could be.

I'm going to have trouble phrasing this, but one thing I have been struggling with in my real life and with this is that after a person passes away, it doesn't necessarily take away any grief they may have caused earlier in their life, whether knowingly or unknowingly. That said, I strongly believe people should be forgiven, because now they are gone and holding on to it doesn't help me or the soul of the departed. But... the good and bad can both still be acknowledged, because it was real and can affect your thoughts and feelings and shapes who you are.

In the span of one year I had this fandom blow up in my face (and whether I like to admit it or not it was a huge part of my life, I spent so much time on it for seven years straight) followed by my dad and nana passing away and I am now seeing just how many emotions I repressed. This has triggered everything to come on out, so please don't mind if I seem to be going on about nothing.

@bold: Again, I totally understand your perspective on this too. Speaking simply for myself, I wasn't even as deeply invested as the rest of you guys but I remember your passion as well as your candor, which I frankly appreciated. I see many sad examples of fanatical fans these days who have drowned themselves so deeply in obsession that they cannot speak to sense or reason in wanting to defend their favorite stars.

Death and passing has a finality to it....but at the same time, it does not erase your time on earth and the moments you spent living....which include various actions which also leave an impact. I think it takes a mature mind to be able to reconcile both the good and bad in grieving for a soul that has passed. It makes us all more human to be able to impart empathy even as we mourn the mistakes made.

I honestly don't know what happened with Sushant to make him drift so far ashore. By then I had lost inclination to even try to rationalize what happened. Infact, it felt so much better to come across him only in the context of his body of work.....and every time I'd watch a film of his, there'd be a pang in the back of my mind reminding me of old memories and lost potentials....but then I'd focus back to his acting in any specific movie and acknowledge (sometimes grudgingly) that he is growing as an actor and there is not a single false note in any of his performances. It was a weird set of mixed emotions....seeing him always made me miss Ankita with him...and at the same time, I'd also appreciate the fact that his hard work on his craft was notable. Strange duality to this guy....he lost his head in managing his personal life while he focused his all on his professional life. Sadly, even that couldn't give him the validation and sense of achievement he seemed to be seeking.

Originally posted by: lunza

I can relate to all your posts.. I was in Uni during PR and JDJ forum days, and was going thru some stuff. When KPC released, I was a few months into my first job, and again was going thru some stuff.. Similarly, for when I watched DBB .

I keep thinking about "what if instead of this, that had happened, then maybe this wouldn't have happened" ..

@bold: I guess life will remain full of ifs and whys like that sadly.

Speaking of DBB, I still remember how floored I was when I watched that movie and once again marveling at how Sushant continued to impress me with each new film he did....I managed to dig up this bit from the review I'd posted in the bolly forum: