PR Friends CC - i/o

For my friends from the Pavitra Rishta forum (now closed). If you remember me at all that counts as an invite. I am making this thread after yesterday's events as a safe space for us to share our grief with some of the only other people who understand our (somewhat specific) perspective. We had a special thing going back in the day... and no matter what happened in the past couple of years, none of us wanted to see this happen.

I'll go ahead and start...

I am so shaken up by this and I still don't know how to process it. No matter how I felt the past few years, this isn't something that I ever even imagined could happen. I feel sick inside and am longing for the days when our biggest concerns were trivial.

Sharing your grief is supposed to help and if you guys are feeling anything like how I am then there is a lot to share. Eleven years ago I watched a promo for a new tv show and fell in love with the leads. I had never before felt compelled to be a fan of anyone or anything but there I was, a true blue stalker fan before it was even a thing people called themselves. I never ever thought it would have this kind of end to it all and I'm having a lot of feelings.

With all that happened in 2016 I was beyond hurt and upset and was finally starting to come to terms with it all, or at least I was better at ignoring it and blocking it out. Back then I had an online meltdown and certainly lashed out about it... but deep inside I had some twisted hope that suddenly things would go back to the way they were, as unreasonable as I know that sounds.

But this... I can't even bring myself to type it out because I can't and don't want to believe it.

This is Nisha aka sensodyne not surprising I have forgot my password and the mail I use to for that account, anyway.

Miss you Sushant!

Sushant, have been not connected with you for few years now, dammit I never ever wanted it turn out like this with you or us.

Hopefully we will cherish most of good things.

Thank for opening the thread! Thank you.

Just putting up this link here,

youtube.com/channel/UCrMskegMzjMkOk489TaSreQ/featured?view_as=subscriber

This channel has links to Sushant and Ankita segments. Hopefully channel will not be deleted.

*Finger cross* channel will not be deleted also.

Nisha! Girl I am so sad...

I've been thinking so much about some of those old SBS-type segments, where it felt like he was really truly just being himself.

I feel like there are so many people in the world who will never quite know the side of him that we did back then... the days where he quite literally fell backwards into being famous... the chubby days... the excited days when other people started to recognize him or would spell his name correctly... the initial movie offers that felt too good to be true... we were there through it all back then. And for it to end not just once but twice, and the second time like this. God, why.

Dam, IF has changed so much to send a message I have to verify I'm not robot so many times

Anyway, I shouldn't have been, but went to this thread and this haunts me more

www. indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4624713

Originally posted by: sensodynee

Anyway, I shouldn't have been, but went to this thread and this haunts me more

www. indiaforums.com/forum/topic/4624713

Yeah I keep thinking about how we had been discussing back then about how much he had changed from the person we once knew... and wondered how he expected to ever find the same type of unconditional support system again... a lot of the things we said back then seem to ring true now and it's messing with me big time. I really didn't want it to manifest this way.

Hi TB and Nisha, don’t know if you guys remember me, but I just saw this CC so I thought I’d drop in.

It’s been so many years since we all lost touch post Sushant-Ankita’s breakup and the bitterness that followed. It took a while to move past it. I always wished well for both of them to still do well in their careers because they were both good actors, even if I lost any inclination to follow their offscreen interviews etc.

But this has been such a tragic turn of events that we could have never seen coming. It suddenly makes you think that there was more fractured inside him than one could tell and it all seems to have built up in the long run to culminate this way.

I have no idea how Ankita must be feeling despite everything that happened. I always felt she was the one strong support system for him here and after the fallout, he never quite had that again. The rest seems to have left him disillusioned and ultimately corroded him from the inside sadly.

The world now only knows him through his filmography but the people who followed him during his TV days, the BTSs definitely were privy to a different Sushant who sadly went adrift somewhere along the way.

I wrote a long post and lost it. Shucks.

Hi all. Feels good to see few familiar faces. Hope you've all been doing well. Never expected to meet all of you again in this way.

Over the last 24 hours I've had my old friends reaching out to me just to ask me if I'm doing ok. I guess my crush on him was widely known, even the head of my department saw byomkesh bakshi for me and presented me with an ssr cake on my bday. Gosh, old days. I was so stressed with work and studying and financial issues and struggling for a paid post graduate seat, and yet found few moments to search for dbb and msd. Then 2016 happened, and I was so so mad at him. Had no right to, but still after all we had invested in him and expected of him and the way he suddenly changed, it felt like a betrayal to my young heart. Today I'm wiser, and yet I have that same irrational guilt of not having recognised and picked up on his weird and getting more weirder type interviews which made no sense, his behavior which seemed border line bipolar, his alienation etc. I try and tell myself he was a celebrity I hadn't even met, how could I have known, but that nagging discomfort stays.

Feels good to let it out here, knowing you guys will understand it.

I remember reading one of his tweets few days back and honestly the thought that came in my mind was, 'When will this guy stop being fake', cos we'd so much of that previously. Now I realize the lines between reality and fakeness were all blurred. I don't know which was which. Who was he, the guy who changed over night to accommodate his ambitions or was that alienation a part of depression. Did he fall into depression after the failure of all his planned route of success for the first time, or was it because of real lack of people in a lonely period. So many questions. I don't know.