PR Friends CC - i/o - Page 5

Yes Swati we do remember you! The cutest kid of our group. How have you been?

Originally posted by: toothbrush13

Thank you for posting those videos! 🤗 I probably won't be able to watch them for a while but knowing they're there makes me happy.

@ all the bold: Dude!!!! Yes!!!! It was probably unintentional but you have made me feel so validated. I didn't even know I was looking for that kind of validation until I felt it while reading your post. I've never spoken to anyone about this topic out loud and all these years later I was starting to feel slightly worried that I was living in some alternate reality headcanon with these thoughts. This is exactly how I feel. Like word for word. He was just different when she was around. It's difficult to find someone who cares about you that much and in just the right ways, and even moreso with his chosen industry. And you don't realize how much you've been feeding off of that baseline of support until it isn't there anymore. One example that always showed it for me was that his movie posters weren't just posters, they were movie posters!!!! and taken to work and showed off and framed and put on walls. It's such a little thing but there are not a lot of people who are going to be that happy for you or that proud of you. So I think another part of what made me feel so sad is that he pushed all of this away and never seemed to find the same kind of emotional support again. Further adding to that feeling that he drifted away and never got pulled back in.

I really like your point about the absence of public relations back then. At least through the first few years of PR I never felt that they were being disingenuous, they just were who they were.They said and did such odd things sometimes, and that included showing up to some events looking absolutely terrible, but that was also part of the untainted charm. In today's world, the social media tamasha over his death is horrifying. I am so thankful I have this space to write about how I feel without anyone co-opting to spread their own agenda. 95% of what I have come across is straight up lies or trivializing death.

🤗 You're quite welcome, TB. I'm glad I was able to provide some validation even though what I'm mostly posting here are just some reflections based on my own observations regarding his journey.

The world around us changes so fast these days and there are so many more instruments available for people to distort and twist perceptions that it is totally understandable if some of us start to question our ability to assess people and situations. Please know that you are not alone in struggling with that....what matters at the end of the day is that you not allow the struggle to overwhelm you....it is totally ok to have moments of doubt and an inability to process something....let that moment pass and flow through you. You will come out feeling better on the other side even if you don't find all the answers.

I liked the point you made about how things never felt disingenuous in their early years....whether that was due to the fact that they weren't being "managed" as tightly back then or the social media craze hadn't started corroding society as a whole, we won't fully know I suppose....but yes, I agree with you in that they came across as people just being themselves in all their randomness....there was no attempt to put on a "refined" persona to suit people's expectations.

What's happening now in the wake of his death is essentially a manifestation of the corrosiveness of society....literally every person posting about his death is doing it with an agenda either looking for scapegoats to blame and villify, or doing a repeat of the usual sloganeering as self-styled experts on mental health. I have limited patience for either and frankly I tune out most of it now. The time for thoughtful discussions on most subjects seems sadly passe now.

I know you're all joking about the long essays that were written in the PR forum back in the day on these two but frankly all those essays had way more substance than the discussions these days that are all about empty posturing and sloganeering.

Originally posted by: lunza

Agree about him losing perspective and lack of an emotional anchor..

Remember how he used to say "I don't care if I don't get films , I will save money and make my own films"? (something along those lines.. Something about setting up a stall in filmcity) .

Sure, at that time I thought "feku !" and mentally rolled my eyes, but I believed that while he obviously will care about achieving whatever traditionally constitutes as success, he would as easily be able to find alternate paths if the situation necessitates it.. and more importantly - not give a damn about fitting in or landing work with a particular kind of crowd.

I wonder what changed and when and why (and he started changing much before the breakup). I mean he was always restless and ambitious , but somehow, both contentment and ambition seemed to coexist within him even after his first couple of years in bwood

Oh I absolutely remember those interviews....that was part of the reason I was impressed with the way he was transitioning into movies....he came across as such a thoughtful artist who was in this profession for the love of film, not the glamorous trappings per se. He seemed to be so clear headed about his priorities and the drive towards forging a path regardless of circumstances. That was the Sushant who actually seemed to be believe no role was big or small and he would find a way to make a mark regardless.

I may be wrong but wasn't this also the same time as when he used to mention in any interview that regardless of what happens in his life, his biggest gift and achievement is that he has Ankita with him? There was this sense that he felt he had her as an anchor so he would be able to face any challenges coming his way.

Now I don't recall the timeline of the breakup that clearly but all I remember was that it felt pretty abrupt and sudden to me....one day he was professing his undying love for her and then a few weeks later it was total blacklisting. So now if we view that in context with how his death happened....it seems like he had some dark spells mentally where he took abrupt decisions that may not have been fully thought through. Perhaps the breaking away from Ankita was one of those decisions taken in the fit of the moment but one that couldn't be undone.

No doubt he quite possibly also had other corrupting influences around him as he was interacting with more industry people in the course of growing his movie career....so one can't be fully sure what factors culminated in the decision. But I do still feel that he didn't think that decision through.

The very fact that Ankita was totally shattered after that breakup and basically retreated from public life for quite a while speaks volumes. He was probably the one able to pull on the mask more easily than her and keep forging ahead with his career but I don't think it healed the wounds inside. I still get the sense that he pushed her away in a dark frame of mind and then was never able to reconcile to the truth that he pushed away someone who loved him that unconditionally. There was no coming back from it so he instead kept forging ahead and trying to occupy his restless soul with other things....but there was no filling up that hole that had opened up inside him. Maybe it already existed due to the pain of his mom's death but it seems to have widened after losing Ankita as well.

Originally posted by: lunza

Same here.. I mean, I don't want to trivialize depression and mental health , but I also know I can say things here and talk about all this with you guys because you would know that's not what I am trying to do..

The problem is that all discussions are extra reactionary these days. People are trigger happy and want to quickly co-opt any discussion about an individual to reduce it into catchy slogans or postures about whatever is the theme of the moment. Yes, Sushant's death does raise the issue of mental health again but instead of that being one aspect of the larger picture, he is being reduced to another statistic of a mental health epidemic.

The biggest irony in all this is that people who claim to be "avenging" Sushant's death by giving grand lectures on mental health, depression and accusing generally every second person of being responsible for his death are themselves poster children of what's wrong with society right now. I understand that a tragedy tends to make people over sensitive and emotional in their reactions but all I see right now are more confused people looking to jump on whatever bandwagon is put in front of them.

I wish more investment was made in creating a society of thoughtfulness where people were taught to be thoughtful in their words and actions.

Originally posted by: --Minks--

I remember his toothy smiles, their banter between shots captured in the SBS clips and later with JDJ... they looked like the perfect couple to me, and when they broke up and the ugly stories with the blame game started, it really broke my heart. Seems far-fetched when I think about it now, as to how invested I was in a celebrity couple, where we didn't know the reality behind the scenes, but still I had this undying faith in them.

Guess he achieved what he had been striving for, but at great cost. He always used to say that I will one day be a movie star, with movies with all top production houses, and I would look at his interviews with a fond smile thinking, that yeah, he could def act better than most actors on screen in a Bolly movie.....

From those days, to now, it seems he finally got disillusioned and fedup with the politics in the industry, got too swept away in the rat race and lost his focus, sadly.

@bold: You're not alone in thinking that. I generally consider myself to be pretty skeptical about celebrity couples but these two were the one big exception that made me believe in them and their love for each other. They seemed like the real deal....so there was definitely a sense of disillusionment for me too when they broke apart.

Sushant gives this impression of being a very bright mind looking to blaze a path through this world....and yes, sometimes that can come at a great cost if the mind is not harnessed or supported correctly. The sun too is a source of life and light....but that very sun can also burn up and consume anything that gets too close. Perhaps Sushant's story is somewhat similar. I sense a streak of idealism in him too that ultimately faced some disillusionment when faced politics and setback in the movie industry. Yeah there's politics in the TV industry too but I guess Sushant never faced it to that extent here while bollywood messed him up more. I say it's idealism because he seemed to believe in his own way that if he WILLS something strongly enough, he can make it happen. Minds like these need a support system that hold them even when things don't work out, because no matter how driven you are, there will absolutely be times when things don't work out. But I guess Sushant succeeded in pushing away all the people who could have held him through his tough times.

*Edit: I was just reading Kriti's goodbye post for him and that seems to indicate more of the same....that he managed to push away whoever he was in a relationship with whether for a long or short time. It's remarkable that Ankita held on for as long as she did then. I remember some interviews where Sushant mentioned that he's a difficult person to be with so he's grateful that Ankita puts up with him....but I guess ultimately he pushed Ankita too far too.

This again reminds me as TB also noted that every little thing connected to him was so big for Ankita....even down to his movie posters. Her love and pride for him was always very palpable when she spoke about him....it never felt disingenuous. They definitely shared a very deep bond that I don't think he managed to find again.

By the way, does anyone here have the video of Sushant's JDJ performance about Karna's story in Mahabharat? That is the one clip I'm not being able to find no matter how many sites I search.

I had it way back in some old laptop but I can't seem to find it in my old files :/

Originally posted by: AreYaar

Oh I absolutely remember those interviews....that was part of the reason I was impressed with the way he was transitioning into movies....he came across as such a thoughtful artist who was in this profession for the love of film, not the glamorous trappings per se. He seemed to be so clear headed about his priorities and the drive towards forging a path regardless of circumstances. That was the Sushant who actually seemed to be believe no role was big or small and he would find a way to make a mark regardless.

I may be wrong but wasn't this also the same time as when he used to mention in any interview that regardless of what happens in his life, his biggest gift and achievement is that he has Ankita with him? There was this sense that he felt he had her as an anchor so he would be able to face any challenges coming his way.

Now I don't recall the timeline of the breakup that clearly but all I remember was that it felt pretty abrupt and sudden to me....one day he was professing his undying love for her and then a few weeks later it was total blacklisting. So now if we view that in context with how his death happened....it seems like he had some dark spells mentally where he took abrupt decisions that may not have been fully thought through. Perhaps the breaking away from Ankita was one of those decisions taken in the fit of the moment but one that couldn't be undone.

No doubt he quite possibly also had other corrupting influences around him as he was interacting with more industry people in the course of growing his movie career....so one can't be fully sure what factors culminated in the decision. But I do still feel that he didn't think that decision through.

The very fact that Ankita was totally shattered after that breakup and basically retreated from public life for quite a while speaks volumes. He was probably the one able to pull on the mask more easily than her and keep forging ahead with his career but I don't think it healed the wounds inside. I still get the sense that he pushed her away in a dark frame of mind and then was never able to reconcile to the truth that he pushed away someone who loved him that unconditionally. There was no coming back from it so he instead kept forging ahead and trying to occupy his restless soul with other things....but there was no filling up that hole that had opened up inside him. Maybe it already existed due to the pain of his mom's death but it seems to have widened after losing Ankita as well.

Yes, it was really sudden. I think that's why all of us were pissed, because it seemed like Ankita didn't even know this was coming ..

You put my thoughts in words much better than I could have . I mean, I didn't know how to say it without sounding like I am saying "Love cures depression".

Reg all the mental health advocacy now, some of it is just rubbing me the wrong way - and I am usually very good at ignoring whatever hidden agenda , shallowness or hypocrisy there might be (if any) if the act is good and the points are valid. But this time, I am not able to separate the person from the sloganeering . And it rings hollow because, umm, it isn't like they would really have the guts to introspect or ask themselves (or even confront some of their own family members about their attitudes and condescending behavior) what they can do to change things. They don't even have the guts to center this issue and talk about it with reference to Bollywood. Press harder, they will get defensive and go off tangent and say things like "this industry is a great place, let's not blame people, every industry is competitive.. " etc etc.

Originally posted by: lunza

Yes, it was really sudden. I think that's why all of us were pissed, because it seemed like Ankita didn't even know this was coming ..

You put my thoughts in words much better than I could have . I mean, I didn't know how to say it without sounding like I am saying "Love cures depression".

Reg all the mental health advocacy now, some of it is just rubbing me the wrong way - and I am usually very good at ignoring whatever hidden agenda , shallowness or hypocrisy there might be (if any) if the act is good and the points are valid. But this time, I am not able to separate the person from the sloganeering . And it rings hollow because, umm, it isn't like they would really have the guts to introspect or ask themselves (or even confront some of their own family members about their attitudes and condescending behavior) what they can do to change things. They don't even have the guts to center this issue and talk about it with reference to Bollywood. Press harder, they will get defensive and go off tangent and say things like "this industry is a great place, let's not blame people, every industry is competitive.. " etc etc.

It rings hollow because the truth is that it would take work....a LOT of work to bring about a change in the way society approaches mental wellbeing. It is easier to chant slogans, write a few tweets, trend a hashtag and feel like you've done your part for the issue so you can move on and go back to focusing on making money and partying for the sake of general empty socializing. It is too scary of a thought for people to try to fundamentally address the basis of these issues....it is hard for the minds to expand that much when most people are busy trying to physically survive....so mental aspects come lower in the list of priorities.

I can understand if people just wanted to do a few token words of sympathy and then go back to their lives cuz the truth really is that no one has that much time to care or think about anyone other than themselves....what irritates me more are the people who suddenly pretend to care so much and start feigning regrets, then jumping to attacking other people.

Honestly, what does attacking other people achieve? People just want to look for something to channel their anger towards....but piling on random bollywood people also looks extremely opportunistic. Yes, it's very sad when society fails a person but at the core of it, we need to address the fact that a support system begins with loved ones and family. Spreading hate towards random people who were in the industry just perpetuates the cycle of hate and violence which won't solve anything. This is a tragedy caused by multiple factors....not any one person or one particular societal ill. All I can see now are a bunch of industry people appropriating this to push their own agenda and vendettas, not to achieve any real solutions in improving the industry or the system.

His struggles with his career may only have been one part of what he was grappling with but now suddenly people are making that the sum of him....that's messed up.

Originally posted by: AreYaar

@bold: You're not alone in thinking that. I generally consider myself to be pretty skeptical about celebrity couples but these two were the one big exception that made me believe in them and their love for each other. They seemed like the real deal....so there was definitely a sense of disillusionment for me too when they broke apart.

Sushant gives this impression of being a very bright mind looking to blaze a path through this world....and yes, sometimes that can come at a great cost if the mind is not harnessed or supported correctly. The sun too is a source of life and light....but that very sun can also burn up and consume anything that gets too close. Perhaps Sushant's story is somewhat similar. I sense a streak of idealism in him too that ultimately faced some disillusionment when faced politics and setback in the movie industry. Yeah there's politics in the TV industry too but I guess Sushant never faced it to that extent here while bollywood messed him up more. I say it's idealism because he seemed to believe in his own way that if he WILLS something strongly enough, he can make it happen. Minds like these need a support system that hold them even when things don't work out, because no matter how driven you are, there will absolutely be times when things don't work out. But I guess Sushant succeeded in pushing away all the people who could have held him through his tough times.

*Edit: I was just reading Kriti's goodbye post for him and that seems to indicate more of the same....that he managed to push away whoever he was in a relationship with whether for a long or short time. It's remarkable that Ankita held on for as long as she did then. I remember some interviews where Sushant mentioned that he's a difficult person to be with so he's grateful that Ankita puts up with him....but I guess ultimately he pushed Ankita too far too.

This again reminds me as TB also noted that every little thing connected to him was so big for Ankita....even down to his movie posters. Her love and pride for him was always very palpable when she spoke about him....it never felt disingenuous. They definitely shared a very deep bond that I don't think he managed to find again.

I remember that phase when they had broken up and there were too many articles about Ankita - her clinginess, aloholism, blah blah.... I hated that phase and couldn't reconcile that to the people behind these articles - whether if it was fake or mud-slinging, I got fedup I think.

Whatever we had all seen of the couple till that point was so pure and sincere, that the way it ended made it all the more worse to digest. You can sometimes see the signs of distancing etc in a relationship, say Ritvik -Asha, it felt like they were drifting apart. With these two, it was just too sudden and most likely ended by Sushant.

She really looked after him like a baby, so just this whole concept of them breaking up was so bizarre. Ankita's struggle was apparent to all, she took a long time to get back to normal it seems and came out stronger from it. Not sure if there were lingering guilt on Sushant's part, when he recently wished her luck on her role in a movie I think recently, or nostalgia. He maybe realised what he had lost, or could be anything, guess we will never know.

Just such a sad horrible end to such a lovely person, that I remember of. His dances in JDJ were the best. I don't remember his partner's name in the show, but she was so brilliant, and coupled with Sushant's talent and hard work, they were the best that season. Don't think I even watched the show again.... its all just a can of old memories which have opened up and there are soo many fond memories of Sushant and the couple.

Okay I finally cried watching this but I also think it gave me closure in some way so here you go.

Originally posted by: Sailor-Moon

https://twitter.com/ektarkapoor/status/1272417381785034752

https://twitter.com/ektarkapoor/status/1272417376726745089