Ranjish Hi Sahi: A Chandini FS LAST CHAPTER updated on Pg 9 - Page 5

Behna 🤗

Opening scene...

Aish behan... mujhe ye OS ...🤔

Bg music : dhoom dhoom tana ...😲

Aish : aa...aaa..aa...🤔

bikul ..b ...bikul ...b ...😉

Shumi , krithika : jai jai durge maa...🤬

bikul ..b pasand nahi aaya ...balki bahut pasand aaya ...😆😆

Bg music : la ...laaa..la ...la...

😆😆 no anda tamatar plej ...😆😆

Ok...Abh serious wala dissection karrongi ...

behan ...jab bhi main tera OS padhu mera dil divana bolle...ole ole ol... ole ole ole

gaao tarana yara jhum-jhum ke haule haule...ole ole ole...ole ole ole

mujhko lubhati hai teri ye OS

masti lutati zidagani tera os padh ne ke baad

mane na kahna pagal mast pavan sa dil ye dole

ole ole ole, ole ole ole😆😆

abh isse zyada main kya bholing ... tell tell ?😆

Aish ...tune chandini scene mien P.hd kiya hai ...tere ko kohi touch nahi kar sakta iss maamle mein .

mujhe sab se zyada title pasand aaya.❤️

title hi bahut kuch bol raha hai ...😳

if not love chalo... at least ghrina hi sahi ...jaise bol raha ho ...there might b cracks now ...but kuch toh hai tere mere dharmiyaan type😳 n v can not ignore that n escape from that ... ghina, bindu ,unka nok jhok have tied them together

Aur mera koi particular favt lines nahi hai ...kyun ki ...pura ka pura OS mere ko mast laga .. kyunki saare ke sare lines jo tune use kiya hai they r beautiful n makes the situation scene more beautiful 😳

Bas abh yahi dua hai ki CVs ko b thoda dimaag mile and take inspiration from u r OS and give us some happiness😆 jo janam janam ke liye impossible hai aur mujhe pata hai 😆

koi nahi tera OS hi mere dil ko thandak degayi🤗

Sach bolu ...mere ko first part zyada accha laga

. 2^nd part b beautiful tha .. (specially jo jo lines shumi ne point out kiya hai 👏...they were beautiful ..ek dum chandinish n specially line I loved the most was making the world know that she was his queen,that he belonged to her )lekin kahi kahi laga complicated tha 2^nd part mein ...n tere ko pata hai na main murkh hoon ..itna deep samajh mein nahi aata relationship ke baare mein and all .🤪 (pita maharaj ne bacho ye sab sikhaya nahi hai) v know only sinskari lubh ..baaki tension wension apun logo ko samajh mein nahi aata nor humare helath ke liye accha hai 😉

But yes... main bilkul hi agree karti hoon what shumi and others said about u r writing skill and tere ko bada wala thanks for giving us this dilchasp OS of this ajeeb phir b pyaari Jodi chandini .🤗

And Aish ..tera Pr skills ko b bada wala thanks or else main miss kar deti iss OS ko😆

[b/w RT is looking mast but he shld shave .he badly needs to get out from devdas mania .phir na aur b zyada mast lage ga ..just like before😉

but yes ..i miss his browny zulfe😳woh kuch aur hi tha😉

ude jab jab zulfe teri ☺️

.kavaariyo kaa dil machle jind meriye.

but am loving his air conditioned dress now😆😉

but plz ..nandini ko koi accha dress de do ..becahri kabh tak iss daasi wala dress mein ghume gi🥱 .its stinks for me ..😆

mere ko lag raha hai as if main bimar padh jaongi seeing her like this ! poor sbp.. bachi ko kya se kya bana dala ]

Aish ...miss our strikes yaar ...jaldi kuch karna padega 😉 bahut time hua hai attack nahi kiya hai 😉 bhuki shreni logo ko tandoori chahiye jaldi se 😉

jaldi hi milenge 😉

Part 3 (A)

As she looked at his sleepinog figure, she agreed that it was the most handsome sight she had ever laid her eyes upon. Studying his tranquil form, she concluded once again that of all his striking features, it was the eyes, her most favourite. The charcoal dark pair, now concealed behind the curtain of his thick jet black lashes, when open was as bright as sunlight on a stream. More than that, those eyes were a reflection of the selfless love he has for her. "And may be because they are a replica of his father's eyes and that's why so dear to you", came a voice from her inside. A baffled Nandini closed her eyes in frustration, off lately she felt as if a little minx has started residing inside her, who much to her disapproval, said things to her. Things she didn't wished to hear. Things she feared of being true.

Concentrating again on her son, she tried to free her aanchal (drape) from his grip ever so gently, lest his sleep gets disturbed. Nandini felt a stream of emotions swirling inside her. To the world it seems that Bindusaar depended his life upon her, but the truth was the other way round. He in fact was the pivot of her life. She has clung to him as a drowning man catches at straw. Amidst all the false blames, taunts and insulting barbs, if she had managed to have faith in herself, it was just because of this bundle of joy, who wordlessly trusted her, loved her, wanted her.

Freeing her aanchal from his clutch this time successfully, a sense of guilt overtook her as she bent down to give him a goodbye kiss. This is the first time when she will be away from her son, leaving her son alone for almost a day. Not exactly alone, as there will be dozen of maids at her son's service, who will be, to her consolation supervised by Raajmata and Dadi. Still the thought that her son will have to manage without her, tore her heart into millions of pieces. She wondered if every mother goes through such experience. Making a mental note to finish off the work at the fastest pace possible, she busied herself in updating the dos and don'ts to Bindu's maids, something she had been doing on loop since early morning. Thinking the earlier she leaves, the sooner she will return, Nandini pecked her son's forehead for one last time and hurried her steps towards the main gates of the palace.

As she crossed the corridors of the palace taking hasty steps, she halted in her tracks in front of his working chambers, and before she could decide, whether she did that willingly or unwillingly, she found herself asking the guards whether he was inside or not. Getting an answer in negative, she wondered where he was, she knew he wasn't in his bedroom. Strange! He knew she will be out of the palace today. Not that she cared, she was just indifferently curious. "Ha, you can't be both", came again a voice. Nandini winced in discomfort; it was that stupid minx again.

Gulping down he asked " Kya Maharaj bhi humare saath aa rahe hain" [is your majesty too accompanying us]

"Jee haan, parantu aap humare saath nahin aa rahe hain, kewal Maharaj Chandragupta apni Maharani ke saath jaayege", replied the king, restoring his minister's faith in the almighty, all over again.

[yes, but you are not coming with us. Only king Chandragupta will accompany his queen]

Nandini griamaced, for reasons unknown. "Accept it, you wished to listen "maharaj Chandragupta apni PATNI ke saath jayege" . There, the devil inside her was speaking again. Nandini resigned. She had better things to do, for instance convincing herself that she doesn't really care whether he accompanies her or not

As the royal chariot ran through the wide roads of Paatliputra, the capital city of Magadh, both its passengers, stole glances, occasionally perplexing when they caught each other. It's been 15 days since their ugly spat. 15 days...

15 days of silent apologies and failed attempts of voicing them

15 days of guilt and shame

15 days of apprehensions and anticipations.

15 days of pain: both acute and chronic

15 days of being wise and avoiding each other

15 days of regretting that wisdom.

***************************************************************

Turning the last page of the ledger, Nandini smiled satisfactorily, as she congratulated the young accountant for his professional wit. The accountant, in the last year of his study program has joined the SHG project as part of his articleship. Though a fresher, his work was quite impressive, he managed to implement the cost cutting plan prepared by Nandini, on the ground level quite skill fully. Without being miser they were able to be economic. As the accountant took a leave, elated with the queen's praising words, Nandini was joined by an elderly woman, must be in her forties. Dressed in a plain cotton blue outfit, she had a look of wisdom on her face. A teacher in the primary school of the village, she was rendering part time service to the training centre. As Nandini went along with her, on a quick tour of the training centre, she saw that there were around 25 women, all busy doing something or other. Some were sewing, weaving, a couple of them sun drying spices, must be for some sort of snack, thought Nandini. As they toured around, Nandini observed that one thing was common. All of them were victims, victims of being a wife, a sister, a daughter, a woman; something they had no choice in. Clutching in her palms in fury, Nandini didn't realised when the elderly woman, sensing her need to be left alone, excused herself from her company, neither did she realized when, her impotent fury gradually turned into murky despondency. But a voice addressing her as "maharani" brought her back to reality. She turned to find a young woman in her early twenties. With one hand on her belly, she was visibly expecting. In her other hand she held a dark pink stole. A group of women accompanied her. Meekly the woman offered the stole to Nandini.

Smiling warmly, Nandini took it from her and unfolded it only to be left awestruck. Tasteful in every sense, the ethnic piece of fabric was no less than an art work. With intricate cross stitched patterns, delicately embroidered in golden thread, it had silver lace at its border sequined with beads, which were sparkling like diamonds, in the sunlight. Marvelling at its exquisiteness, she mentally thanked her idea of training the women here in marketing skills.

Folding the drape back, Nandini said, "ati sundar, sach mein shabd nahin hai mere paas iski sundarta ki vyakhya karne ke liye", while she handed the stole back to her

[very beautiful, I'm speechless]

"Maharani, ye uphaar hai, aapke liye. Hum sab ki oar se", the woman said timidly. Born and bought up in the rural part of the state, she never had a chance to meet a towner, let alone the queen, that too in all her royal glory.

[Maharani, it's for you, a gift from our side]

"Uphaar! Mere liye? Parantu kisliye?" [a gift! For me? What for?]

The women looked at each other, some of them tucking the sides of their drape in the corner of their mouth, nudged each other nervously. Sensing their discomfort, Nandini for once regretted not considering the idea of visiting them dressed as commoners, but they were on official duty, maintaining the protocol they had to be present as King and queen. Holding the hands of the one, who looked the most confident, the one who had gifted her the stole, Nandini repeated the question again, this time a little more encouragingly.

Motivated with the queen's geniality, she spoke, "Jee Maharani, woh humein yahan jo bhadrajan prashikshit karne aate hain, unhone humein bataaya ki aapne hi maharaj ko manaya hai, iss prastaav ko laagu karne ke liye. Aap ke kaaran hi hum sab aaj aapne paaron pe khade hone ke laayak hain. Ab humein kisi se apni asmita ki bheek nahin maangni padegi. Hum ab kisi pe aashrit nahin hain. Main bhi ab aapna dhyaan khud rakh sakti hoon, aur jab ye aa jayega na, she said while rubbing her belly with a shy dreamy smile, "toh iska bhi dhyaan rakhungi"

["The noble people, who come here to train us, we got to know from them that it was you who convinced the king to implement this scheme. It's because of you we are now capable of being self sufficient. Now we don't need to beg for our self esteem. We are no more dependent on someone. I can very well take care of myself, and when he will come out", she said while rubbing her belly with a shy dreamy smile, "then I will take care of him as well"]

"Issi liye hum ye aapke liye laaye hain, kya main ye aapko pehna doon?", she asked hesitatingly as she once again became aware of Nandini's royal persona. [That's why we have brought this stole for you, shall I make you wear this]

Nandini tried something to say, but she was chocking with emotions. Shaking her head in approval she simply bowed down her head. She bowed down,in front of their resolution, ashamed that she had sympathized with them, when they should have been saluted. They might be a history of oppression and suffering, but they definitely were a future of aspirations and fight back. She bowed down to accept their gift, with brimming eyes, like a devotee seeks blessings from his idol. As they left, she tried thanking them, only to dismiss the idea realizing that a thank you is not enough, it never will be.

Nandini proceeded to join the king and other officials; it was time to leave, when she was stopped again, this time too from behind. Turning around she found an old woman, not exactly old, she too must be in her forties like the woman who had earlier given Nandini a tour to the training centre. But unlike her, this woman's face had a wrinkled resigned look. Like somebody who has been fighting with life's hardships all through his life, only to realize that there was no point in it.

Thinking she might needed some sort of help, Nandini asked:

"Main aapki kya sahayata kar sakti hoon maa ji" [How may I help you]

"Ye Prasad aapko dena tha Maharani" [I wanted to offer you this prasaad, Maharani]

Smiling Nandini spread her right hand to take the prasaad.

As the woman passed out the contents to her hand, she said, "Maharani, yahan pe meri beti bhi prashikshan le rahi hai, ek saal bhi nahin hua uske vivah ko Jab sasural waalon ne ghar se nikal diya. Hum usey aapne paas rakh lete toh uski behanon se vivah kaun karta. Jis ghar mein ek parityakta beti baithi ho, uss ghar se sambandh kaun jodega. Humare paas usey sadak par chodne ke atirikt aur koi upaay nahin bacha tha, tabhi Maharaj ki taraf se iss yojna ki ghoshna ho gayi. Aapka aur Maharaj ka koti koti dhanyawaad." Saying so the woman bent down to her feet, as a panicked Nandini tried her best to stop her.

[Maharani, my daughter too is taking training here. Not one year had passed of her marriage when her in laws threw her out of their house. If we had kept her at our place then nobody would have married her sisters. Who would like to keep relation with a family who has a disowned daughter? We were left with no options than to leave her on the streets, just then this scheme was announced by the king. For this i want to thank you and the king a thousand times]

As, Nandini straightened the woman by keeping her hand on her shoulder, the woman continued, gesturing the prasaad, which was now in Nandini's other hand, "Humari aarthik sthithi achchi nahin hai Maharani, phir bhi har din, aapne bachchon ke kushal mangal ke liye ek aane ka gud (jaggery) khareed kar mandir mein chadhati hoon. Aaj ye prasaad aapko chadhane aayi hoon"

[we aren't well off. Still everday I buy jaggery costing one paise, and offer it in the temple for the well being of my children. Today instead of God, I have come to offer it to you]

Shifting her gaze from the woman to the prasaad in her hand, and then back to the woman, she asked shocked, "ye aapne kya kiya, Bhagwaan ko chandhaya jaane wala prasaad aapne mujhe..."

[what did you do, you gave me the offering meant for God]

"Humare liye aap hi bhagwaan hain Maharani, Hum bahout Gareeb hain, iss se adhik aako kuch dene ka humara saamarth nahin hai"

[you are the God for us Maharani. We are very poor; we can't afford to offer you something more than this]

This was second time in the day, when words failed her, when all the courteous phrases of gratitude, she had learned in her grooming classes sounded a superficial play of words and nothing else. Concluding that no words, at least in her dictionary, were fit for something as divine as the woman's gesture, she barely managed to say, in a voice, crackling with emotions, "Iss se adhik koi kisi ko kya de sakta hai bhala?" [what more can somebody give than this?]

As the old woman showered her queen with all the possible blessings and good will. Nandini stood there. Silent. Stunned. The thought slowly sinking into her that the women's empowerment bill, was an attempt to amend the misdoings. That it was never about whose idea the bill was, rather it was an idea of penance. His idea of penance. His idea of atonement.

Her eyes searched frantically for the one person who could share the prasaad with her. Who must. Its rightful stakeholder, their king, her husband.

He saw her coming towards her. She looked different. He tried figuring out why. After a moment or two it hit him, it was the chunari (stole). She looked perfect, just the way he preferred to see her in his dreams. Like a bride, ready to be kissed. As she approached nearer he sensed something different in her expression, she looked flushed. May be the heat. He was alarmed. "Nandini tum theek toh ho na, kya dhoop lag rahi hai? Jal mangwaa doon?

[Nandini, you're okay? Is it the heat? Shall I ask for water?]

Shaking her head in negation, she simply forwarded her hands with prasaad, she still was too emotional to talk. Not getting her, he frowned.

"Prasaad hai, lo khaao", she finally managed to say in a voice not louder than a whisper.

[it's prasaad, have it]

Four simple words and it meant the world to Chandragupta. When was the last time she offered him something? Many a times, too many to count. Didn't she offer him her forgiveness? But when was the last time she offered him something willingly? Not in recent times at least. He remembered their Paatalgraam visit. They had made a deal, his arms will be her pillow. She broke the deal, choosing his chest to be her pillow. Willingly. Thinking he had been asleep. Not knowing the insomniac he was and is, he was awake.

"Lo naa" came her voice again. [Do have it]

Taking the prasaad from her he asked "ye chunari?" [This stole?]

"Yahan ki streeyon ne diya hai, uphaar" [The women here have gifted]

"Laal rang tumpe achcha lagta hai" [Red suits you]

"Gulaabi" [Pink]

"Huh?"

"ye gulaabi rang hai, laal nahin" [This is pink colour and not red]

He nodded in understanding, wondering what's the difference anyways.

"Tumne kabhi bataya nahin?" [you never told me?]

"kya" [what]

"yahi ki laal rang mujh par achcha lagta hai" [That red suits me]

"kabhi socha nahin tha, ki bataane ke liye itni der ho jayegi" [Never thought some day it will be too late to tell you]

With a wounded look they both stood there, their eyes fastened to each other. Hoping for somebody to come and rescue them from the moment which was clogging their breathing. Wishing nobody comes and they continue to pine for each other.

Fate decided to grant the former. Their moment was broken with an arrival of a young man, with heads shaved and a sandalwood tilak on his forehead.

"Maharaj Ki Jai ho, Jee main Gopal. Prathmik chikitsa Kendra (primary health centre) ka prabhari"

[ Long live the majesty. This is Gopal, chief medical officer of the primary health centre]

Chandragupta introduced him to Nandini. He was an intern in the vaidya charak's medical school and was posted in the village Primary health centre with an additional charge of the women's health cell, so that those who are victims of domestic abuse, can be taken well care of. Similarly, other interns like him would be posted across the State of Magadh, once the scheme gets launched on a mass level, making sure that every village primary health centre has a women's health cell.

"suna hai gopal ji aapne apne vivah ke liye chhutti lee thi, sab kushalta se ho gaya?"

[Got to know Mr. Gopal that you were on a leave for you wedding. Everything all right there?]

"Jee haan Maharaj, kshama chahta hoon, woh...main..woh...patni ko bhi saath mein laana tha, issi karan se der ho gayi, ...main bahout lajjit hoon maharaj, woh raasta kharaab tha aur saath mein patni bhi thi iss liye pahuchne mein der ho gayi...main...mujhe kshama kar dein"

[Yes your Majesty, I'm really sorry. I...actually...I...my wife was also accompanying me , that's why I'm late in reporting for the duty. I'm very sorry]

Looking at the startled and stammering condition of the man Chandragupta reproached asking about his marriage, the man probably thought he was taunting him for using his marriage as an excuse joining late to his duty. Trying to ease out the man he said, "arey vaidya ji, main samajhta hoon, patni saath mein ho toh der ho hi jaati hai, aapka naya naya vivah hua hai na, baad mein aapko aadat ho jayegi .mujhse puchiye, mujhe bada anubhav hai inn baton ka"

[Relax doctor, it's okay, if your wife is accompanying you then nothing can save you from getting late, you are newly married, later you will get used to it. Look at me; I've a whole lot of experience]

Nandini, shook her head, he and his lame "wife" jokes, some things never change.

The young intern smiled sheepishly. Putting a hand on his shoulder Chandragupta said, "wise kahan hai aapki patni?" [By the way, where is your wife]

Now, when he asked that, it was just a formal polite gesture. He had no intentions to actually meet the man's wife, but then, the king's wish is the king's command. The man hurriedly called for his wife. They were soon joined by a woman dressed in a red and yellow bridal outfit, with a veil covering her face partially.

"Maharaj, Maharani, ye meri patni hai. Sulekha" [This is my wife, Sulekha]

The king and the queen welcomed her with a warm smile. Before Nandini could come forward and take the matter in her hands, the woman decided to touch the king's feet to seek his blessing.

"Arey ...arey ye aap kya kar rahin hai, dekhiye, main...main vinati karta hoon, ye mat kijiye" Chandragupta said nervously. [ please what are you doing, I request don't do it]

"Maharaj ye meri patni ka saubhagya hoga agar usey aapka aashirwaad mile", her husband spoke on her behalf.

[your Majesty, it will be my wife's fortune if she gets blessed by you]

He looked at the husband and then back to the wife helplessly. Almost three years and he was still getting used to the tribulations kingship had to offer. This, seeking blessing business, especially young women almost of his age, was one of them. Heck they can't be held and stopped like the older ones. what was he supposed to do? His mind frantically searched for the right words to come up with, as the girl waited to be blessed, much to his annoyance, still at his feet. Chandragupta was thinking hectically. Oh! What do they say, when blessing a new bride, something like "sadaa...",(always) umm yes "sadaa patni raho", is it? Then why do it sounds so un right! He slapped his brains for not helping him. well there's one more, where you may bless her with 100 sons, came a reply. Horrified at the scandalous tone of the latter, Chandragupta decided to go with the former.

Clearing his throat he said, "sadaa...", confused what he was going to say was to be said or not, his hand hung in air, unsurely, when he felt a touch. A tender touch.

Though having a hard time suppressing her laughter, Nandini still was having a great time, watching his face, which was by the time red with embarrassment. It was only for the poor girl, who must have been sleepy by all the waiting, that she decided to rescue him Guiding his hands to the brides head she said "sadaa suhagan raho"

Turning to him, she gestured for his wallet. Earning "you are a fool" glares; it was for the third time that Chandragupta managed to get the hint. Shaking his head like an obedient student, he fished out the royal blue silk pouch full of gold coins, and presented it to his wife, only to get a "you are a hopeless fool" glare this time. With a mental facepalm, she gestured him to give it to the bride, hoping this time he gets it in the first attempt. Understanding that she wants him to gift it to the bride, he offered it to the bride, who hesitatingly looked at her husband before accepting it. Chandragupta looked at his wife like a clueless child. Was he supposed to gift it to the woman's husband.? Understanding what exactly was running into his mind, Nandini, said hurriedly, "Sulekha, Maharaj shagun de rahe hain, rakh lo". [sulekha, its a goodwill tokan from the king, keep it]

While Chandragupta and Gopal got engaged in official talks She moved closer to the bride and lifted her veil, she had a round face with soft features, decked in silver jewels, she looked like a doll. Taking out her bangles and sliding them to the girl's wrist Nandini said, "vivah ki anek shubhkamna, Ishwar tumhe khub prasanta de" [Many congratulations of the marriage, May God bless you with all the happiness]

As the couple took a leave, the bride tried to bend down to seek their blessings.

while a visibly appalled Chandragupta with hands folded, this time almost pleaded her not to touch his feet., Nandini had to clench all her facial muscles to stop herself from laughing.

Chandragupta turned to her, annoyed he asked "aap bataane ka kasht karegi ki aapko itni hasi kyun aa rahi thi?" [will you care to explain, what was there to laugh]

An amused Nandini replied, "aap bataiye, aapko itni lajja kyun aa rahi thi" [you tell me, what was there to be so embarrassed about]

They looked away, hiding a grin from each other. Heart filled with gratitude for that random newlywed couple, they savoured the sweetness of the moment. The moment when they didn't had to pretend to be man and wife. The moment when it came naturally to them. The moment... their first in one and a half years.

(next part continued in following post)

Part 3(B)

As they reached closer to the palace, an unknown fear clutched Nandini. Somehow she was sure that Bindu was not right, that leaving him was a bad idea. As they reached the palace, it took Chandragupta all his efforts to ensure that Nandini lands down from the chariot without hurting herself. Throughout their return he was aware of her anxious concern for their son.

Bindu's wails can be heard from the palace doors. "Bindusaar ro kyun raha hai", she said panicking [why is Bindusaar crying]

Chandragupta tried to calm her, "Nandini, tumhe apne nikat na paa ke ro raha hoga, tum chinta mat karo sab theek hoga"

[Nandini, he must be crying not finding you, don't worry, it's fine]

"Nahin Chandra, ye uss ka swabhawik rundan nahin hai", said nandini, as she ran towards her room, with an equally disturbed Chandra following her. [No Chandra, this is not his usual wails]

One thing which he has learnt, ever since Nandini came to Bindu's life is: never doubt a mother's instinct, never ever. As they reached the entrance of the room, they were greeted with the heart wrenching sight of their son crying vulnerably while his face scrunched in pain, and a helpless fleet of women including Raajmata and Dadi, attempting their best to sooth him. It took them less than a second to reach their son. While Nandini took him into her protective embrace, Chandragupta asked for the doctor in a roaring voice. Bindu by the time was a little calm with his mother's presence, but it was his mother who was now on the edge of her wits.

"Chandra isse toh jwar hai", she almost screamed. [Chandra he has fever]

The lady doctor by the time came into the room. She had gone to bring some essential medicines, required for the prince. As she came she explained that there's nothing to worry about. Baby Bindu was teething and that's why is a little agitated, the fever being a reason of harassment because of his constant crying.

"Maharaj chinta ki koi baat nahin hai, bas mamuli sa jwar hai" [Your majesty, nothing to worry about, it's a casual fever]

"Aapko yahan ye bataane ke liye nahin rakha gaya hai ki rog kitna maamuli hai. Aap yahaan rog ka upchar karne ke liye hain, jo ki aap se ho nahin raha hai. Mera putra kasht se ro raha tha, aur aap iss kaksh mein bhi nahin thi, toh ab uchit yahin hai ki aap iss mehal mein bhi nahin rahe". With these words, a stunned silence prevailed in the room, with the only sound being occasional whimpering of baby Bindu. Now if they have been come from Chandragupta, none have been surprised. He is known for his impulsive fits of anger when it comes to Bindu, but the stinging remarks coming from Nandini was a shocker. The lady doctor was on the verge of tears, not believing that the ever so genial queen can be so rude

[You are not here to tell us, that how casual an ailment is, you are here to treat it, which I can see you are unable to do. My son was wailing in pain, and you were not even present in the room, so it's better that from now on you don't stay present in the palace as well]

It was Dadi who broke the silence, "Nandini, putri, aise apna aapa nahin khote, Bindu subah tak biklul theek ho jayega, aise chhote mote rog toh shishu ko hote hi rehte hai, tum chinta mat karo"

[Nandini, child, don't lose your temper like this. Bindu will be fine by morning. Its normal for babies to get a little sick every now and then]

Looking at Nandini, who shook her head, while covering Bindu with her aanchal, Chandragupta knew, that she isn't convinced.

**************************************************************

It was midnight, Bindu slept peacefully, his temperature finally normal and his rapid breathing now much to his parents relief getting more calm. while Chandragupta was at the other end of the king sized bed, Nandini sat beside Bindu, as she rested herself against the headrest.

He watched her fatigued form, after three hours of her continuous anxious fit, of trembling and sweating, of fumbling and fuming, it was no brainer to guess that it was not all about Bindu's health, that there was more to it. That there was a weight resting upon her heart, he could almost sense it, a deadweight. They need to talk, she needs to talk, but he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. The whole day they had managed to be amicable exceptionally well and he didn't want to ruin it. But as a cloud passed her face once again and this time resting for a little longer than a while, he knew that he would have to make her talk, it might not be the best thing to do, but it definitely was the right thing to do

He stood from his place, determined, sat close to her. "Nandini! Agar tum kuch kehna chaahti ho, toh main sun raha hoon" [Nandini, if you want to say something, then I'm listening]

To her, his voice sounded like a councillor, someone you know, will listen and not judge.

"Main sun raha hoon Nandini" [I'm listening Nandini]

She couldn't decide with whose permission words decided to make their way through her lips: her brain or her heart. She was too zoned out to figure things out. The only thing she was sure about was that she wanted to tell him.

"Jab tumne Durdhara ki hatya ke aarop mein mujhe mehal se bahaar nikala tha...

[when you banished me from the palace, accusing me of Durdhara's murder...]

Suddenly he wasn't really sure if he wanted to hear it or not. He had a strong urge to run away from the monsters of the past. But looking at her he realized, he can't, even if tries he can't be selfish to the one person, who always loved him selflessly.

Uss ,,,uss...rraa..raat, mehal ke bahar bahout andh..., andhe...an..."

[that...that..nig..night, outside the palace...it was dar...dar...]

"andhera tha", he completed it for her. [it was dark]

"Haan! Mujhe bahout darr lag raha tha...aur main, main...raasta bhi bhatak gayi thi"

[yes! I was so scared and I lost my way as well]

He swore, there's a hand inside his chest, he could feel it, which was squeezing his heart.

"Tabhi mujhe kisi ke karhaane ka swar sunaai diya, jab maine paas jaa ke dekha toh ek baalak bahout hi bimaar awastha mein beech sadak pe leta tha, uski...uski...haa... haalat bahout kha...kharaab thi, uska badan jwar se jal raha tha."

[Right then, I heard somebody's painful moans. I found a child, who was lying in the middle of the road, all sick; he was in a bad shape...and was burning with fever]

"Meri..meri kuch samajh nahin aa raha tha, aas paas koi dikhayi bhi nahin de raha tha madad ke liye. Tabhi kuch log wahan pe aaye, mujhe laga ki woh humari madad ke liye aaye hain"

[I didn't knew what to do, there was nobody nearby for help. Just then some people approached us. I thought they were there to help]

His whole body stiffened in tension, he knew where it was going. The urge to run away once again over powered, but he would stay. If she can endure it, then surely he can listen, at least this much he can do.

"Parantu woh...woh ..achche log nahin the Chandra, Jaise woh mujhe dekh..dekh...unki dhristi bahout ghrinit thi...maine wahan se bhaagna chaaha, parantu uss balak ne mera aanchal pakad rakha tha...woh woh log meri taraf badh rahe the...main bahout darr gayi thi Chandra, maine uss balak ke haathon se aapna aanchal chudaya aur bhaagne lagi. Bhaagte bhaagte main ek sthaan pe jaa ke chup jayi, andhera bahout tha...woh log mujhe dhood nahin paaye aur chale gaye"

[But they weren't good people Chandra. They way they were leering at me. I tried to run away, but the child had held my drape in his hand. As the goons approached me, I freed my drape from his hands and ran away. Finally while running I found a place to hide, it was dark, so they couldn't find me and left]

She was shaking by the time, he offered her water, she declined with a head shake. He held the glass to her lips, she didn't protest this time.

Suddenly she held his arm , "main waapas gayi thi Chandra, uss balak ke paas, main saugandh khaati hoon, ki main gayi thi, parantu...

[I went back Chandra, to that child, I swear I went, but...]

He knew what must have happened, but it was necessary for her to say it, to face it, once and for all.

"Parantu kya nandini.?", he asked, amazed at the calmness of his voice. [But what Nandini]

"Parantu uss balak ki mrityu ho chuki thi ". Came her croaking reply [But the child was dead]

"Agar main usey uss avastha mein chod ke nahin jaati toh avasay woh bach jaata, meri wajah se uss ki mrityu ho gayi, aur aaj dekho na main bindu ko chod ke chali gayi, dekho na usey kya ho gaya hai, agar usey kuch ho jaata toh.?"

[If I hadn't left that child in that fragile condition, then surely he would have been alive today. It's because of me he died. Today I went away leaving Bindu, if something have happened to him, then?]

He knew she wasn't at fault, he knew that even the rational side of her also knows that she wasn't at fault. But that's the thing with guilt, it finds its way. If you close its way through mind, it will enter through your heart and scorch your soul.. Who else than he can better know about guilts.

She was still blabbering, more to herself, now, "main kya karti mujhe kuch samajh hi nahin aa raha tha, har baar toh koi bhi musibat aati thi toh tum aa kar usey theek kar dete the,"

[what shall I have done, I was clueless at that time, every time when I used to land in a trouble, you used to be there to rescue me]

A sword hit his heart, in case if it was still beating alive after those squeezing sessions.

Suddenly she turned to him, looking directly into his eyes; she did something which was so very Nandini. She held his angvastra, clutching it tightly she inched closer to him, as she demanded "kyun nahin the tum wahan par mere saath?, bolo? kyun nahin the?"

[why weren't you with me there? Tell me? Why?]

Chandragupta watched her helplessly. His silence wasn't helping her, she shook him frantically, "tum uttar kyun nahin de rahe ho Chandra, uttar do! Pehle har pal meri sahayata karte the, aur jab mujhe tumhaari aadat ho gayi toh tumne mera haath chod diya? Kyun choda tumne mujhe ? chup kyun ho uttar do!" she was screaming, not even caring for a sleeping Bindu, her tears smearing her already smudged kohl.

[why aren't you replying? Answer me? First you helped in every possible circumstance and when i got used to it, you left my hand. Why did you abandoned me? Answer me?]

What could he have said, what words in the world were fit to answer her question. He chose to remain silent, not understanding that it's his silence she is hating the most. Maddened, she hit him on his chest, once, twice, thrice. And then it was raining, little puny punches on his rock hard chest. Her delicate womanly hands barely managing to assault his strong frame, though her tears superbly making up for her hands.

While she kept on hitting him, she chanted "tum bahout bure ho Chandra, bahout bure", stopping only when she noticed that hitting him was like throwing flowers at a rock.

Frustrated, agonized, tormented, she collapsed on his chest. The dam burst open flooding all the pain, all the trauma, all the fear, she held inside her heart, as she cried and cried and cried.

Engulfing her into his giant embrace, he rested his chin on her head. His one hand caressing her hairs, while the other one made circling patterns on her back trying to sooth her, as he rocked her gently.

Head dropped on his shoulder; she snuggled into the crook of his neck, sobbing softly. He was saying something, softly, reasonably. Something which she couldn't make out, as sleep was taking her over. The only thing which she could make out before drifting into sleep, was a conclusion, that every time when she distanced herself from him, she abhorred it.

He felt her body getting relaxed. He looked down, she was asleep, a tired sleep. He gently straightened her on the bed, while she continued to clutch his angavastra for her dear life.

Later, at the wee hours of the morning, when the night is darkest...

Standing at the balcony of his room, Chandragupta watched his wife and son sleeping soundly. His entire world. It should have been breath takingly endearing but it was making it hard for him to breathe, as he looked at her. Curled in a foetal position, she looked so vulnerable, like a lost child. One and a half year before, standing at the same place he had decided that getting betrayed by the person you love is worse. A year and half later, he concluded that loosing that person to the darkness is even worse.

He knew after all his mistakes, he hadn't been worth salt but now he was unsure of being worthy of given a chance. With the turmoil of uncertainty his only companion, Chandragupta felt the darkness of the night entering into his heart, not realizing that somewhere the first ray of morning stirred, getting up from her slumber, ready to chase away the darkness of the night

to be continued...